Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry
by justaskalice
Summary: Bella is reunited with her childhood friend Alice under unlikely circumstances. When sparks fly between Bella and Alice's older brother, will she be able to resist? And what secrets is he hiding? Canon Couples
1. Prologue

The first time Edward Cullen kissed me, he was six and I was four. He chased me around the pool table in his family's rec room until I gave up, hiding underneath it in hopes of escaping him. Undaunted, he crawled after me.

"Whatcha doing down here Belly Bird?" Ah, the wit of a six year old. Edward always called me Belly Bird when he wanted to make me cry. It usually worked.

"Leave me alone," I said, sniffling a little in a heroic attempt to hide my tears.

"Aw, Belly, don't cry."

"Don't tell me what to do!" I tried to scramble away from him, but even as a child I was clumsy. I smacked my forehead against the underside of the table and started to wail.

"Don't cry, Belly, you'll get me in trouble," he hissed. I yelled louder, squirming when he grabbed my arm and clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Shhhh!"

I glared at him, tears streaming out of my eyes, face flushed. He pulled me closer to him.

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" His face had done a complete 180; he looked repentant. I hiccupped through my tears and nodded. He took his hand off my mouth and kissed my forehead sweetly.

"I'm sorry Belly Bird. I didn't mean it."

*****

"Bella, I didn't mean it!" Edward's voice pleaded to me through the locked door. His his fist pounded against he door, the dull thud echoing the pounding in my head. He wanted to take it back? We were a far cry from that day in his parent's house, hiding under the pool table. A kiss on the forehead wouldn't fix this. I wasn't sure what would.

* * *

**A/N: Something I'm playing with while I work through the kinks at the end of my other fic... this is just a taste! Leave a review and tell me if you want more, and check out "No Sleep for the Wicked"! Thanks for reading.**


	2. Dinner and a Show

I glared at the rack of designer blouses in front of me. I had been in this godforsaken store for over an hour and had made exactly one selection, a pair of charcoal grey dress pants that were slung over my arm. If it wasn't so vital that I update my work wardrobe, I would have given up ten minutes after walking into the store. Unfortunately, living and working in Phoenix, Arizona for the last several years had not prepared me for Chicago's cool fall climate. I had only been in the city for two weeks, but October had not been kind, and this weekend I caved, finally resigning myself to some much needed shopping.

"The blue one would go really well with your complexion," a high, sweet voice said from behind me. I blinked, turning slowly to look at the woman who had spoken.

She was petite, barely five feet tall, her black hair flipped out in all directions. Her blue eyes sparkled at me and she grinned, reaching past me for the shirt in question. She held it up to my chest and nodded approvingly.

"Yes, I was right. It's perfect. You should buy it." She handed it to me, grin still fixed on her face. There was something irritatingly memorable about the tiny woman, but I couldn't quite place it. I chewed on my lower lip, frustrated by her familiarity.

"Thank you," I said quietly, wracking my brains and coming up blank.

"Alice, honey, there you are." Another woman emerged out of the store, greeting my companion. She was middle aged, her caramel colored hair streaked lightly with grey. She turned to me, bright green eyes widened slightly in shock. I recognized those eyes in an instant. Everything clicked.

"Alice? Mrs. Cullen?" My mouth dropped open. What were the chances I would run into my childhood best friend and her mother, clear across the country from my hometown in Washington state?

"Bella Swan! What a surprise. How are you dear?" Esme Cullen hadn't changed at all since the last time I had seen her, except for the grey hair. She gathered me in a tight hug, pouring 15 years worth of love and comfort into it. I laughed a little as I tried to take it all in. I hadn't seen the Cullens since my parents divorced. I was eight years old, and I decided to live with my mother. That decision took me way from the perpetual rain of Forks, Washington, and transplanted me into an almost alien landscape of dirt, desert and cacti in Arizona. Visits with Charlie, my dad, were few and far between, and usually we vacationed in California together over the summer. I stayed in Arizona until two weeks ago, when I finally found a job here, in Chicago.

"I thought it was you," Alice said, laughing and hugging me just as soon as her mother let go. "At first I couldn't believe it, but when you started gnawing on your lip I was sure."

"What are you doing here? Do you live here now? How is everyone? How's Emmett? How's Edward?" The questions came quickly, flooding out of my mouth before I could stop them. I think I was still in shock.

"One question at a time, Bella," Alice said, still laughing. "I live here now, so do the boys. Mom and Dad are still in Forks, but they're visiting for the weekend. Everyone's doing really well."

"Emmett's married now," Esme put in, smiling even wider and pulling out her wallet. "He and his wife Rosalie just had their first baby. Avery Alan Cullen." She showed me pictures of a tiny, pink baby boy, swathed in a blue hospital blanket and held by a stunning blond woman. Emmett beamed from behind them, larger than life. I recognized him instantly. The deep dimple on his left cheek, his laughing smile and those unruly curls. He looked exactly like he had at age fourteen, except bigger. Much bigger.

"And Edward?" Emmett was a prankster, but he was good natured. Edward was my constant torment. Whenever I came over to play with Alice, he made it his mission to reduce me to tears. Needless to say, I had a huge crush on him.

"Edward," Alice said, looking at me thoughtfully, "will be very interested to know who we just ran into."

She whipped out her phone and dialed it, chuckling a little. After a second, she huffed and made a face. "Voicemail," she complained. "Edward Anthony Cullen, are you screening your calls again? You know you can't avoid me, I don't give up that easily." I had to laugh at that. Clearly, Alice had not changed. Charlie used to say she could charm pictures off the wall. I think that was his way of saying that whatever Alice wanted, she got. He was right.

"Fine, if you're not going to pick up, then I won't tell you about a certain girl I just ran into. Seems she flew all the way from Phoenix and is roosting in our fair city. Belly Bird is back." She hung up, smiling mischievously.

I groaned.

"I'm 23 years old; can we drop the Belly Bird thing? It wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now."

"Please, you love it," she teased. "Give me your phone number right now. You're having dinner with the family tonight. No arguments." We exchanged numbers on the way to the checkout, all thoughts of shopping gone. I didn't mind, I had a few cardigans I could resort to for the time being. I got directions to Alice's apartment and promised to bring a bottle of wine with me.

Alice lived downtown, in a nicer neighborhood. I wasn't really surprised. Her father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, was a surgeon, and Esme was a successful interior designer. Their family was very well off. A door man let me into a spacious lobby, and I rode the elevator up to the sixth floor. I took a deep breath and buzzed the doorbell on 609.

The door swung open almost immediately, and I was scooped up and squeezed so tightly that all the air left my lungs. I narrowly avoided dropping the bottle of wine I was holding.

"Isabella Swan, as I live and breathe!" Emmett's voice raised in a falsetto as he hugged me even tighter.

"Can't… breathe," I gasped. He laughed and dropped me to my feet, clapping one giant hand on my shoulder and leading me inside.

"Hey, everyone, Belly's here!" he called.

"Not you too, Em," I whined. "Seriously? Let's just let it die."

"No way, man, one of my proudest moments was coming up with that nickname," Emmett said.

"I believe _I_ made up the horrible nickname, Emmett." A tall man with messy reddish brown hair was leaning casually against an arm chair. I vaguely noticed the rest of the Cullen family seated around the room, but most of my attention was fixed on the living, breathing perfection of this man. His long legs were, unfortunately, covered up in a loose fitting pair of khakis, so I let my eyes wander up his chest, over his broad shoulders, and down his strong, defined arms. He wore his button down oxford shirt un-tucked; the sleeves were rolled up and the whole shirt looked like it could use a good ironing. His face, though… that's where I got stuck. He had a strong, square jaw and a perfectly straight nose. Disheveled hair fell this way and that all over his head; it was just long enough that a couple of locks fell down into his eyes, but cropped short in the back. His eyes, emerald eyes, burned into mine. And when his lips curved into a smile, I thought my heart would stop. I'm pretty sure it did, for a couple of beats.

"Bella?" My perfect man's smile faltered, one eyebrow lifting in confusion.

Oh, right. Because I was just staring at him. At Edward Cullen. Torment of my life and the boy I once thought of as my true love. Don't judge, I was eight years old and hopped up on fairy tales and happily ever afters.

"Hey, Edward. You haven't changed at all," I laughed, stepping into his outstretched arms. _What a lie._ Never in a million years would I have recognized him without help. He hugged me tightly for a moment, then let go far too soon. He smelled divine, a heavenly mixture of sandalwood and rain. He smelled like everything I loved about Washington: green growing things, thunderstorms, and sunrises over the ocean. He smelled like home.

"Ouch, Bella. Last time I saw you I was ten years old," he said.

I pursed my lips, looking at him critically.

"Alright, I admit it. You've changed. You're definitely taller," I said, smiling widely and laughing along with the rest of the room.

"Bella!" Alice came running out of the kitchen and tackled me, pulling my attention away from Edward. Despite the fact that she was almost a foot and a half shorter than Emmett and a whole lot smaller, she put just as much force into her hug as he did. I was gasping for breath when she let go.

"Let me introduce you to everyone!" she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me further into the living room. "You already know my brothers, obviously, no need to talk to them," she winked at them. "This is Rosalie, my sister-in-law." The woman I had seen in Esme's picture was even more gorgeous in person. She looked like she had stepped right out of a magazine. Her blond hair was pulled up in a simple twist, loose curls framing her face. Normally, people that good looking scare me, but she seemed less threatening with a baby in her arms. Rosalie just looked at me briefly and smiled, before turning back to her baby boy. She cooed a little as she rocked him, and then looked up at me again.

"And this is Avery," Rosalie said, smiling softly at him. Avery had his uncle's reddish brown hair, but his father's curls. Tiny blue eyes stared out of his face, wide and wondering as his reached up to his mother.

"He's beautiful," I breathed. Lately, I'd been a little hung up on babies. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to have one myself, at least not right now. But every time I saw a baby, or a toddler, or a family out walking, my heart gave a funny little tug. I suppose that was my body's way of telling me to get cracking, find a man, and procreate.

"What?" Emmett broke into my baby dream. "He's not beautiful. He's ruggedly handsome, just like his papa." He winked at me. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and smiled, hugging Avery a little tighter as she rocked.

"Emmett, could you keep it down? He's almost asleep, and once he's asleep we can eat," Alice scolded. Emmett tried to look contrite, but he didn't quite pull it off.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Jasper Whitlock, my boyfriend." She blushed a little as she pulled a lanky blond over from the other side of the room. He wrapped an arm around Alice and extended his free hand.

"Nice to meet the infamous Bella Swan," he said. "I've heard a lot of stories."

"All gross exaggeration, I'm sure," I said, taking his hand and shaking it firmly.

"Oh? So you didn't dye an entire tank of tropical fish blue?" Alice, Edward and Emmett dissolved into helpless laughter. I struggled to keep a straight face.

"I can't believe these jokers tried to pin that on me! I was a hapless accomplice. Edward was the one who suggested that the poor fish missed their ocean home and we should try to make them more comfortable."

"Yeah, but who came up with the brilliant idea of adding food coloring to make the water blue like the Caribbean? That was all you," Edward protested.

"Well whoever's fault it was, I spent a whole weekend scrubbing that tank clean and flushing out the filters," Dr. Cullen said. He was sandwiched between Rosalie and Esme on the couch. In my momentary baby daze I had overlooked Alice's parents.

"Dr. Cullen! Mrs. Cullen, it's so nice to see you both again," I said.

"I'm glad you could make it, Bella," Dr. Cullen said, standing to give me a hug of his own. "You don't know how heartbroken my kids were when you moved. Edward didn't come out of his room for days."

"Dad," Edward muttered, rolling his eyes. "Stop it."

Alice winked at me and then pulled me over to a love seat. "My brother had the biggest crush on you, Bella."

Edward groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"I was ten years old. She was a cute girl. Must we continue this conversation?"

I laughed at the expression on his face. He looked mortified. Obviously he didn't know that I had entertained similar feelings. I felt a fleeting sense that I had missed out on something, leaving Forks the way I had. Would something have happened if we had grown up together? If we were teenagers together? _No use wondering now._ I decided to let him off the hook.

"Nope, we can talk about something else," I said, before Alice could tease him anymore. "What are you doing now, Edward?"

He gave me a grateful look for changing the subject. Alice snorted and shook her head.

"I teach band and orchestra at a high school on the north side of Chicago," he said.

"Teaching, huh? I never would have pictured that. Do you make all the girls cry?"

Jasper cracked up.

"Are you kidding? He's lucky to get through the day without some 16 year old girl trying to seduce him in the hallway."

Edward glared at him, but Jasper was completely unfazed.

"I teach U.S. History and psychology at the same school as Edward. That's how I met Alice," he told me. "Edward's a really popular teacher. He's done wonders for the music department. We were facing a lot of cuts before he came on board a few of years ago. Now we've got one of the largest programs in the Chicago area."

"What about you, dear?" Esme asked. "What brings you to Chicago? Last Carlisle and I heard from your father, you were going to school in Arizona."

"I graduated in May," I said. "I've been looking for a job for the last too many months, and I finally got a good offer in Chicago, so here I am."

"What do you do?" asked Rosalie.

"I'm working at the Tribune, helping them upgrade their Web site and edit the incoming content, manage their blogs, put together multimedia packages, that kind of thing. It's about the only part of traditional journalism that's still going, and thankfully I got a pretty solid education in Web design in undergrad.

"Wow," she said, sounding impressed. "So do you have a lot of experience with Web design? Emmett and I run a garage, and we've been talking about revamping our Web site. It's pretty plain right now."

"I'd love to help you guys out!" I dug through my purse for the new business cards I had been issued last week. "Here, there's my card. My personal contact info is on the back."

Rosalie beamed at me and pocketed the card. She looked down at Avery and sighed.

"Good, he's finally asleep."

"Dinnertime!" Emmett stage whispered, earning a smack upside the head from Esme.

Rosalie settled Avery into his car carrier seat and everyone filed into Alice's dining room. There were ten of us, so it was a little tight. I found myself crammed between Edward and Esme. Alice piled dish after dish on the table, it was practically groaning under the weight. As I piled food on my plate, Alice shot question after question at me. It was a little overwhelming. Edward hadn't really looked at me since we talked about his job before dinner. He seemed tense. Every time I brushed against his arm he flinched. Weird.

"So Bella, do you have a boyfriend back in Arizona?" Alice's next question caught me by surprise. I looked up to see her grinning over at me. I cleared my throat.

"Um, no. Not really."

"Not really? Or not at all? Because I know a lot of guys who would _love_ to meet you," she pushed. I stared down at my plate. For some reason, everyone else had picked that moment to stop talking. Even Edward was looking at me. _Thanks, Alice. That's not awkward at all._ I cleared my throat to buy myself a little more time.

"Bella?" Alice prompted. Her smile seemed a little more forced.

"I guess not at all." I didn't want to talk about Mike. It had been messy from the beginning, and the last time I had seen him we weren't exactly talking per se. I was happy with things the way they were. He wanted more. He had wanted it from the beginning, but I never had any desire to give it to him. Chicago was as good an excuse as any to get away from him.

Alice looked like she wanted to say something else, but thankfully, Esme spoke up and changed the topic, asking Jasper about a Civil War reenactment he was helping to plan. I let out a sigh of relief and let myself get swept up in the conversation. Jasper was funny, although most of the time I don't think it was intentional. If you had told me when we were kids that Alice would be staring at a man like Jasper with goo-goo eyes I would have laughed in your face. He was handsome, sure, but he was a nerd. As he explained the rules participants followed during the reenactments, he waved his hands around and occasionally banged his fist on the table.

I bit my lips to keep from laughing.

"He's a bit much, isn't he?" Edward's voice tickled my ears. I looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. "I've never seen Alice so happy though." There was a sad sort of smile on his face, and I wondered what put it there.

"What about you, Edward? Are you seeing someone?" I meant it to be a casual question, it came out kind of pushy. No one was paying any attention to us, which turned out to be a good thing. Edward's face twisted in an ugly grimace and he set down his fork rather loudly.

Carlisle looked over at him in surprise. "Son? What's wrong?"

Edward's face had smoothed over. Not a hint of the pain or anger was left, but neither was the happiness I had seen earlier. He was just… blank.

"Nothing, I'm just feeling a bit ill. I think I'm going to go home and lie down." He turned to me stiffly. "Bella it was lovely to see you again. Maybe I'll see you around."

He stood up quickly, pecking his mother on her cheek before he grabbed his coat and sprinted for the door. The whole family sat in silence for a minute before Emmett said what everyone else was thinking.

"What the hell was that about?"

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so the response to the prologue was overwhelming! Thanks for the support, I hope you liked the first chapter. Have you ever run into someone from your childhood and not recognized them at all? It's the weirdest thing. Predictions? Angstward can be such a problem... ****Let's see if you can top the last chapter in reviews :) **


	3. Black and White and Read All Over

Everyone was looking at _me_, like I had the answers to Edward's sudden and irrational disappearance. He said ten words to me. What did I know?

"Bella? Did Edward say anything before he left?" Alice asked.

"Um… not really," I said. "I asked if he was seeing anyone and he got this funny look on his face and practically ran out the door."

Alice got a thoughtful look on her face while Emmett and Rosalie exchanged knowing glances. Carlisle and Esme were suddenly very interested in their food, and Jasper looked just as confused as I felt.

"Maybe he finally came to his senses and left her," Emmett said, breaking the loaded silence. Esme looked up from her plate and glared at him.

"Emmett, that's none of our business. Your brother loves Lauren, you know how upset he gets when you talk about her that way," she scolded.

"You don't like her either, Mom. And why else would he storm out of here after such a simple question?" he argued.

"Drop it," Rosalie said shortly. Amazingly, he did. The uncomfortable silence returned.

Lauren must be Edward's girlfriend, although it seemed like she was a bad topic for conversation in these parts. It struck me as odd that Emmett would dislike anyone that much, especially a girl who Edward was in love with. I wanted to ask, but it seemed rude. I kept my mouth shut.

The rest of dinner was a little awkward. Esme made several failed attempts to resuscitate the conversation, but everyone seemed lost in their own train of thought. Eventually, she gave up and picked up where Alice had left off, asking me about life in Arizona and my mother. By the time dinner was over, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I made my excuses to the Cullens, saying I had an early meeting. It was technically true, if 10 a.m. was early.

"We'll get together soon, right Bella?" Alice asked before I left. "It's been so long, I'd love to catch up. Can you meet me for lunch tomorrow?" She raised her eyebrows and gave me a meaningful look, like she was trying to send me a message telepathically. I shrugged and nodded, telling her to call me when she had her lunch break. Apparently Alice worked at a PR firm close to the Trib's offices downtown, so we could easily get together after my meeting.

By the time noon on Monday rolled around, I was in no mood to meet anyone, let alone my perky childhood best friend. To say my meeting was a disaster would be an understatement. It was my first official meeting with the men in my department, and they were _not_ happy to see me. My first week had been spent filling out HR paperwork and meeting the higher ups, and last week I set up my office and familiarized myself with the content and style of the paper. Starting today, I was a fully functioning member of the team. At least, that was the plan. Apparently the bloggers were a tight group, and did not appreciate some "little girl" coming in and telling them what to do.

"We've never had any kind of direct editor before, Chuck," one of them complained to my managing editor. "Why bring one in now? She can't be more than 20 years old, what kind of actual experience does she have? And what is she really going to do for us, check our commas and semi-colons?"

"I'd let her check more than that," a blonde in the back muttered. Low chuckles greeted me from all sides. I was the only woman in the room. This was not good.

It wasn't like I had never run into this attitude before. Things had changed a lot in newsrooms over the last 40 years, but there was still an undercurrent of chauvinism that was hard to shake. Most of the time it wasn't as blatant as this though, and I was shocked they were saying these things to my face.

Chuck started to protest, but I figured now would be a good time to make myself clear. I didn't intend to offend my new co-workers, and I certainly didn't want them to hate me, but I would _not_ be anyone's bitch. I cleared my throat.

"Chuck, can I say something?" He looked at me, sizing me up. We had only known each other for a short time, but I already felt like he was going to be a great mentor. He must have seen the determination in my eyes, because he nodded and smiled.

"Look guys, I know you're all used to how things work around here. I don't want to mess anyone up or screw anyone over, I'm just here to do a job. I'll check your commas and your semi-colons, and I think you'll find I'm quite good at it. I'd also like to expand our multi-media coverage and update the site to make your content more accessible. To make this work, you're going to have to work with me. I don't expect you guys to baby me or handle me with kid gloves, but I do expect you to respect me."

I looked up at Chuck, who was still looking at me with a smile on his face. He chuckled. "You done, Bella?"

I nodded.

"Well, I couldn't have said it better myself. You heard the lady. Let's make some magic."

The meeting was officially over then, and Chuck walked me back to my office cubicle. He left me then, saying that he had a management meeting to get to. My "office" was pretty big as those things go, but it was still a cubicle. I sighed, staring at the blank, fuzzy walls.

I heard a throat clear behind me. When I turned, I saw the blonde from the meeting smirking at me.

"You talk tough. That will make this more fun," he quirked one eyebrow in what I'm sure was supposed to be a seductive way. "I'm James, I do the tech blogging. You won't need to edit my stuff, just post it and we'll both be happy."

"Nice to meet you, James," I said calmly. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me get angry or uncomfortable. "Your work will receive the same attention that everyone else's does, but I hope you'll be able to work with me on some how-to videos. From what I've seen, your writing style lends itself nicely to that."

"I can make my own pitches, _Bella_," he sneered. He turned and stormed off. _Good riddance_.

He was replaced almost immediately by a younger looking guy with cropped, black hair and a russet brown complexion. He rolled his eyes in the direction that James had gone before turning to me and smiling sincerely.

"I'm sorry about him, he's kind of an asshat," he said, extending a hand. I took it gratefully and smiled back. "I'm Seth, I do a bunch of random sports bites for the Web site and a weekly column for the paper. I'm glad management finally got their shit together and hired some new blood, we need some fresh ideas around here."

"It's nice to meet you, Seth," I said. "It's good to know I've got a friend."

"Absolutely," he said. "Don't let the guys get you down, they just don't like change. Chuck thinks long and hard before he makes a hire, I know you'll be great."

"Thanks, that means a lot." At least one man in this department wasn't getting his back up. My cell phone rang shrilly in the corner. "Sorry, I think that's my lunch date. Thanks for stopping by, it was nice meeting you."

I waved goodbye to Seth and picked up the phone. Alice gave me directions to the restaurant and told me to meet her in 10 minutes. The café she had picked was brightly lit and cheery, paintings by local artists covering every square inch of the walls. She waved me back to a booth near the back. When I reached her she pulled me in for another enthusiastic hug. My own family didn't hug me as much as the Cullens did.

"Okay, Alice, that's enough," I laughed, disentangling myself and sitting across from her. "How's your day going?"

She made a face and heaved a deep sigh. "The life of a tiny cog in a well-oiled machine is not pretty, my friend. I know they say you have to pay your dues, but I hope I'm not still paying this time next year, or I'm looking for a new job."

"That bad, huh?"

"Trained monkeys could do my job," she muttered. "How was your meeting this morning?"

"Pretty terrible, I don't really want to talk about it." She smiled sympathetically and looked down at her menu.

"Well then let's talk about something else," she said. "I'm sorry dinner was such a debacle last night. I swear I thought it would be fun, and then my brother went and turned it into land of the awkward."

I shifted in my seat, unsure of how to respond. "Is there a story there? I mean, the way Emmett was talking and how tense everyone was…"

"Oh, Edward has been dating an evil hag for over a year and Emmett can't stand her. None of us really can, but he's so stubborn, he won't hear a word against her." She sighed and stared over my shoulder, seeming lost in thought for a moment.

"When he met Lauren he practically fell off the planet. I think I saw him three times in the first six months of their relationship, and he lives 10 minutes away from me. Mom and Dad have tried to get him to bring her around, but it's like she wants to have minimum contact with us. She made an appearance for two hours on Christmas before dragging Edward to her parent's house. If we hadn't chosen to celebrate in Chicago, I doubt they would have come at all. He's never brought her home to Forks, and she doesn't come with him to random family get-togethers, like last night."

I tried to picture Edward with someone who didn't get along with his family. It was difficult, to say the least. The Cullens were close, and it was obvious to me that Rosalie and even Jasper had been welcomed into the fold with open arms.

"So why would he storm out? Why not just tell me about her if they're so in love?"

"That's why we were all so confused. Emmett, obviously, hopes that he's broken up with her. I think it's more likely that they're having another fight." She sighed and shook her head. "He always gets really bitchy when they're fighting, and they've been fighting a lot lately. It's like he has permanent PMS."

She stared sadly into the distance for a long moment, then looked at me and brightened. "I'm so glad that you're back in our lives, Bella Swan. I have a really good feeling about this. Me running into you at that store was fate. You were meant to be with us, I just know it."

I raised my eyebrows. "What exactly are you talking about, Alice?"

"I'm talking about you, me, and Edward. It'll be just like old times. Well, minus the destruction of personal property. Do you remember the time we tried to cremate Edward's hamster?"

Oh, did I. We got the idea after my great-aunt Matilda died. At her funeral, I had been confused by the absence of a coffin. My father, Charlie, explained that some people got cremated and had their ashes scattered instead of being buried. When Edward's pet hamster died, I felt it was a golden opportunity to personally explore the custom.

Alice and Edward went along with my plan willingly; Edward even managed to swipe some lighter fluid from Carlisle's grilling stash. After placing Miles (named for Miles Davis, of course) in his cardboard coffin, we had ceremoniously doused the box and set it on fire.

After that, our plans went a little awry. Half of Esme's wildflowers were taken out in the blaze before Emmett smelled the smoke and rescued us with the hose. He was grounded for a week because he hadn't been watching us properly, Edward and Alice were grounded for two, and my parents banned me from the Cullen house until everyone's sentences were served.

We laughed and reminisced for the rest of the lunch hour, reluctantly calling it quits when we realized what time it was.

"This was so much fun," Alice said. "I never have this much fun on a weekday. Usually work is enough to suck all the life out of me until Friday afternoon. What do you say we try to meet for lunch on a more regular basis? Give us a chance to make up for lost time and get away from the daily grind?"

"That sounds fantastic," I agreed instantly. We made plans to meet at 12:30 every afternoon between our offices, either to go out to eat or find a bench somewhere to brown bag it. I returned to work with a little more bounce in my step.

I spent my afternoon editing and making up a more formal deadline schedule for my guys. For such a prominent paper, things were shockingly disorganized, and despite my reception this morning I was determined not to shy away from the challenge. I was on my way home when I remembered my kitchen was still running on empty from my move. I couldn't bring myself to eat takeout one more time, so I reluctantly changed direction and headed toward the grocery store.

I love cooking, but I hate grocery shopping. It's time consuming and somehow I always end up with more bags to carry than I intended. Having to haul in all of my food up several flights up stairs over three trips is not my idea of a good time. Unfortunately, if I decide to limit my shopping to the two bags I can carry, I have to go shopping more frequently. It's a double edged sword.

An hour and a half later I was pushing a cart full of brown paper bags out to the parking lot when I hit a bump in the pavement. My cart, which I had been fighting with the entire time I was in the grocery store, swerved on its crappy wheels and rammed into something. Hard.

"Oof!"

"Oh my God, are you okay?" I rushed around my cart to the man I had unceremoniously pasted in the parking lot. He was doubled over; I must have hit him square in the gut.

"Bella? What the hell?"

I froze, my eyes getting wider in disbelief. Of course. Because that's the kind of luck that was currently stalking me. I run into Alice and Esme in a clothing store and have a perfectly pleasant conversation. And I run into Edward at the grocery store. Literally.

"Edward, shit! I'm sorry I didn't see you there, and my cart just kind of took off, and…" He had straightened up and was staring at me now. He looked like he was trying to decide whether to laugh or yell. I swallowed, hard, at a loss of what to say. Even irritated, Edward Cullen was a beautiful man, and I was still trying to reconcile the adult he had become with the gangly boy who teased me and pulled my hair.

Finally, he smiled._ Hallelujah, he's not going to yell at me and storm off again._

"Belly Bird, are you trying to land me in the hospital?" He laughed lightly. The sound was clear and bell-like, and he didn't wait for an answer. "Are you bringing these bags to your car?"

I nodded mutely, not even protesting his use of my childhood nickname.

"Well, why don't I help you? That way no other shoppers will get maimed in the process."

We walked silently to my car, and he helped me stack the bags in my trunk. After we had everything packed away, we stood there awkwardly, neither of us knowing exactly what to do now.

"Um… so, dinner last night, I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "It's been rough the last couple of weeks with my girlfriend and I kind of forgot that you weren't a member of the Anti-Lauren Brigade. I over-reacted."

"That's okay, Edward," I said. I wasn't sure where this bout of friendliness had come from, but it was the most I'd heard him say since I arrived at Alice's apartment last night. I was intensely curious about his girlfriend, especially after talking to Alice, but I held my tongue. I didn't want to chase him away again.

"Would you, maybe, I don't know…" he looked conflicted for a minute, staring down at his shoes and scuffing the pavement. I waited patiently, and after a minute I was rewarded. He glanced up at me, and his emerald eyes locked with mine, full of silent questions. He looked conflicted and sad, and in that moment all I wanted to do was take whatever was troubling him away. "Would you want to get coffee or something some time? We could catch up and I could make up for being such an ass." He shot me a hesitant smile.

"I'd love to," I said firmly. "Give me your phone." I programmed my number in quickly, then shut my truck and walked to the front of my car. Edward was still standing next to the back end of my car, looking at me. I smiled and waved. That seemed to snap him out of it, and he grinned back and returned the wave before making his way into the store.

I pondered the concept of fate as I lugged my groceries up to my tiny studio apartment. I had never been a big believer in the idea, choosing to believe instead that people control their own destinies. I chose to leave Forks all those years ago, and I chose to accept a job in Chicago, of all places.

By all accounts, I should be as far removed from the Cullens as could be, but random chance and coincidence had propelled them back into my life. Or was it meant to be, as Alice insisted? I had no idea, but I was grateful. Two weeks alone in the friendless city was enough to make me seize fast and hard onto any friendly advances. The promise of a standing lunch date with Alice and grabbing coffee with Edward sometime in the indefinite future gave me hope that I could make it in Chicago.

I was cooking dinner an hour later when my cell phone rang. I smiled when Edward's name popped up on the display.

"Hey, Edward. I was just thinking about you."

* * *

**A/N: So, now that you have a little more information about Edward and Lauren, what do you think? Is there more to this than meets the eye? I am loving the reviews, you guys seriously rock. Keep it up! Last chapter topped the first, let's see if we can keep doing it :) Thanks for reading...**


	4. Caffeine High

I was fidgeting nervously with the hem on my dress as I waited for Edward at the coffee shop he suggested. It was only a short drive from my apartment, which made me wonder if he lived close by. Did he live with Lauren? Why had he called so soon? Did he want to get our meeting over with so he could get rid of me? Alice and I had eaten lunch together three more times since Edward called to set up this coffee date, and every time she mentioned how much she missed spending time with him. I wondered why he was bothering to meet with me if he couldn't spare a phone call to his own sister.

It was silly: getting this worked up about getting coffee with a man who not only had a serious girlfriend, but who probably wouldn't look twice at me in a crowded room. Regardless, I spent extra time with my hair and wardrobe before driving over here.

I shifted in my seat, craning my neck to look toward the door. The place was crowded, and I kept thinking I had somehow missed him in the mass of humanity that filled every corner of the shop. I scanned the room for the twentieth time since I arrived, glancing down at my watch again. He was ten minutes late already. How long should I wait? Ten more minutes? Twenty? Would he call? _And there go the nerves again._

Heaving a sigh, I doodled on the sketch pad I always had with me for times like these. Sometimes I would draw, sometimes I would write, and sometimes, like today, I just let the pen trace random shapes on the paper. The sharp squeal of a chair being pulled away from my table distracted me, and my pen swerved a little its intended path. I huffed in annoyance and looked up to meet Edward's bright green eyes, today covered up by black, thick frames.

"You're late," I stated, a little thrown by the glasses. After evaluating his face for a second, I decided they made him look even better.

He gave a small tight smile and scooted his chair closer to the table.

"Hi to you too," he said. "I'm always late, ask anyone."

"That doesn't seem like a very good trait for a teacher to have," I replied. "Call me crazy, but don't you have to try to keep to a regular schedule?"

"Well sure, if you teach a _boring_ class," he teased. "Cool Mr. Cullen has a much more organic style to his music classes. When you've got anywhere from 50 to 75 students at a time you have to figure out creative ways to keep their attention. Mine is letting them have a reward for every five minutes I make us late."

"That seems like a bad system for someone who's perpetually late."

He shook his head in mock seriousness. "No, it's perfect, because every minute _they_ make us late, either by not being present on time or goofing off when they should be paying attention, or not shutting the hell up when I call the class to order… well those minutes get taken away from their reward time. It keeps all of us on our toes."

"That's… kind of a good idea, Cullen." I was suitably impressed. He shrugged, still smiling that small, uncomfortable smile at me. I couldn't figure out what had him so uncomfortable, but I figured asking about it right off the bat was rude. Why would he tell me, anyway? We were virtual strangers.

"So… how have you been?" It was lame, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. Idly, I wondered how much of the conversation I was going to have to supply myself. He let out a big gust of air and looked at me blankly for a minute.

"Well that depends," he said.

"On what? It's a fairly straight forward question."

"On whether you want my stock answer or the real one."

_Okay, I was not expecting that._ He was staring down at the table, still incredibly tense, drumming his fingers. I felt nothing but pity. He looked folded in on himself and almost desperate. It made no sense.

"Of course I want the real answer, Edward," I said softly. He looked up, searching my face for something. He looked exhausted. Dark bags ringed his eyes.

"Things haven't been great lately," he admitted, staring back down at his hands as soon as he started talking. "Some days I feel like Lauren and my job are the only things keeping me together. I miss my family, but they don't get along with Lauren, so that's really hard. The other night was only the second time I'd seen Avery since he was born almost four months ago."

Without thinking, I reached across the table and gripped his hand with my own. He squeezed it briefly, and then kept talking.

"They just don't see the Lauren that I see. She strong and beautiful and … God, I don't know. She's everything, and they don't see." He looked up at me sadly. "I think you'd like her, Bella. She's a lot like you."

I raised my eyebrows in a silent question, and all of the sudden he was laughing, almost hysterically.

"You must think I'm crazy. Here we are, haven't seen each other since we were children, and I'm spilling out all my problems to you in a crowded coffee shop." He stopped laughing and looked up at me, probing me face again. I wish I knew what he was looking for.

"In a weird way, I guess I feel like we're still friends. I know I messed with you a lot when we were kids, but I always felt like you were another sister to me. With things the way they are… I guess I wanted to reconnect with some family."

A warm feeling washed over me, followed quickly by a surge of irritation. This was so stupid. They missed each other, and were letting what sounded like a silly personality conflict break up their family.

"Alice talks about you all the time," I said casually, taking a sip of my coffee. His eyes tightened a little at the corners, but otherwise he didn't react. "They miss you too, Edward."

When he didn't respond, I tried another tack.

"Tell me about Lauren, how did you meet?"

"A friend of mine hired me to play piano for his parents' anniversary party and she was there. She requested a bunch of songs and we just kind of spent the night talking. The rest is history." He shrugged, a small smile on his face.

"She's incredible. She works so hard, she's an assistant district attorney. Lately they've been really busy, she works late a lot," he said. He sounded so sad. "She moved in with me about a month ago, and I thought maybe that we'd see each other more, but that hasn't really happened."

"I'd love to meet her," I said. "Why didn't you bring her along tonight?"

"Thursday is girls' night," he said, rolling his eyes a little. "Her best friend Jessica comes over and they spend the night doing whatever girls do. I'm not allowed home until 10 because the apartment is a 'boy free zone' on girls' night." He used finger quotes, his tone biting and sarcastic. "I swear she sees Jessica more than she sees me."

"Well, you should have a boys' night," I said, trying to prompt a smile back to his face. "Poker, cigars, beer, wings. You know. Whatever boys do."

He laughed then, really laughed. I don't think I'd heard him truly laugh until then.

"Yeah, I guess." He shook his head, and then smiled a genuine smile.

"Enough about my issues. Tell me about Arizona, land of sun and sand. We have 15 years to catch up on."

Two hours later we were still talking, which frankly, was pretty amazing. After a few awkward stumbles, mostly involving comments about his family, we settled into easy conversation. We swapped stories about high school and college. He told me about discovering his passion for teaching, and I told him about my college paper and the job search that wouldn't end. At 10:30, he looked down at his watch in shock.

"Shit, have we really been sitting here for almost three hours? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you out so late."

I giggled. "Wow, you're old. 10:30 isn't that late."

"It is on a school night, young lady." He shook a finger at me sternly, but his eyes twinkled. He looked 100 percent better than when he arrived, and it was a relief to know that he wasn't always so dark and serious.

"Well, I won't keep you out any longer then," I said. "We should do this again, though. I had a lot of fun."

We stood to leave, and then he surprised me by gathering me up and a hug. I hugged him back, trying to pour all the comfort I could into him. I was distracted by his scent again, inhaling deeply as I clung to him. He cleared his throat.

"Um, Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"You can let go now." I dropped my arms, laughing to cover my embarrassment. _Whoops! Mental note: try not to manhandle your friends. _

I was in an odd mood the next morning. I paced around the newsroom, muttering under my breath about deadlines and modules, but my mind was elsewhere. Edward's face kept invading my thoughts, making it hard to concentrate.

"You okay, Bella?" Seth asked, sounding amused. He had been extraordinarily kind, sticking up for me every time one of the guys made a snide comment. I was really starting to rely on him, and he was the first person I went to when I had a problem or a question.

"What? Oh, yeah I'm just a little bit… distracted I guess," I replied.

"Why don't you take off for lunch early, get your head in the game," he suggested. "Garrett said he'd have his piece ready for you in an hour, and you're up to date on all the other postings."

I smiled gratefully and called Alice to see if she wanted to meet early. Fifteen minutes later we were walking through Millennium Park, looking for a bench to eat at.

"What are you doing tonight?" Alice asked as we settled onto the cool park bench.

"Well, I have a busy evening of absolutely nothing planned. Why?"

"I have a friend I just know you'll love," she gushed. "His name is Alec, and he works with me."

I opened my mouth to speak but she interrupted me. "I've told him all about you, and he can't wait to meet you. Now I won't take no for an answer. Meet him here at 7:30 tonight." She shoved a card in my hand with the name and address of a restaurant and bar on it. I shrugged and pocketed the card.

"It would have been nice to give me a little more warning, Alice. What if I was busy?"

She rolled her eyes. "Please, Bella. Have you done anything remotely social besides dinner with my family since you moved to Chicago?"

When I didn't respond, she smirked. "That's what I thought." She looked so smug, I couldn't stop myself from blurting out—

"I had coffee with Edward last night."

She stared at me in shock for a minute, then broke into a sparkling smile.

"Really? How did you manage to pull the hermit out of his hole? Was the lovely Lauren there?" She sounded a little bitter at this last question.

"No, apparently it was girls' night." She rolled her eyes. "We talked for a long time. He seems sad, Alice."

"Well, yes, that's probably because he is sad," she replied. "Asshole. He won't come around because he knows we don't like Lauren, and he won't even call Jasper anymore because we're dating. Now he's isolated himself from his only real friend and his family. I'm sure he's mopey and moody as hell."

She sighed. "At least he had the good sense to call you. Be a friend to him, Bella. He needs it."

We ate in silence for a while. Suddenly, Alice dropped her sandwich and looked at me, eyes wide in anticipation.

"Oh my God, I almost forgot. What are you going to wear tonight?" she asked as if my answer were of vital importance.

"Uhhh, what I'm wearing right now?"

She closed her eyes and frowned, shaking her head. "Oh no," she said firmly. "That just won't do. Presentation is everything, and first impressions are vital. You can't just show up to a first date in your work clothes. I'll come over after work today and we'll get you all fixed up."

With that, she tossed her lunch bag into a nearby trashcan and stood. "I'm heading back now so I can take off a little early. I'll call you and we can ride to your place together. I took the train today."

When I got back to the newsroom, the boys were in an uproar. There was something wrong with the archiving system and none of the past posts could be accessed. I spent most of the afternoon messing with code, trying to fix the problem.

"What good are you if you can't step in when this kind of problem comes up?" James sneered over my shoulder. Two of his cronies, Will and Joel, snickered. That's when I snapped.

"Listen you haughty, sniveling dipshit, fixing code isn't my job. I'm trying to be a team player and you are making it shockingly difficult. Believe it or not, I'm invested in people being able to pull up your work, so why don't you give me some God damn space!"

He stood there flapping his jaw for a second before the rest of the boys burst into laughter. All of the sudden I was surrounded; hands were patting my shoulder and mussing my hair. James turned a nasty shade of purple before turning on his heel and storming out of the room. Will and Joel looked stunned, but didn't say anything more.

"That was awesome, Bella," Garrett said, chuckling under his breath. "You just became the personal hero of half the men here."

"Only half?" I asked dryly.

The whole archiving disaster had exhausted me and taken up the rest of my day. Since it was almost 5, I took an early afternoon and jetted out, meeting Alice at the parking ramp near the Trib's offices.

As soon as we arrived at my studio, Alice turned into a tiny tornado.

"Now, are you more of an autumn or a summer," she mused as she scrutinized my face.

"Alice, I don't think…"

"Shhhhhh," she insisted. "Let me work."

Letting Alice work entailed a good deal of sitting still while she poked, prodded, and otherwise manipulated my face, hair, and clothing. I was perfectly capable of getting myself ready, but it seemed to make Alice happy. She was reasonably satisfied with my wardrobe, and it only took her about 45 minutes to pick out my outfit, and another hour for my hair and makeup.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "Is that the time? You have to go!" She grabbed my keys and my purse, tossed them at me, and dragged me out the door. "Remember, his name is Alec Jameson, he's got brown hair and brown eyes, and he'll be waiting for you at the front of the restaurant. Have fun!"

I opted to take the train to the restaurant, since it was a Friday night and parking would be a nightmare. As an added bonus, it wasn't a far walk from the train. When I got there, I scanned the restaurant for my date. There were countless brown haired, brown eyed men, several of whom were openly staring at me. One particularly handsome gentleman was making eyes at me from the bar. I walked over to him and smiled.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked with a charming smile.

"You may. Rum and diet." I smiled back. "I'm Bella."

"Bella," he mused. "Beautiful." The bartender passed me my drink and I flashed my benefactor a flirtatious smile. Alice wanted me to be social? I could be social. If this guy was Alec, so much the better.

"I don't know if you know how this works," I said. "I give you my name, and you give me yours."

"Sorry, that was rude," he said. "I'm Tyler." _Damn_. _Not my date._

"I'm sorry, did you say your name is Bella?" I turned toward the voice. A man was standing next to me, at least four inches shorter than me. He had a round, boyish face and longer, wavy brown hair. While he certainly wasn't _bad_ looking, he also didn't look like he was capable of growing facial hair.

"Yes?"

"I'm Alec."

"Of course you are."

* * *

**A/N: You guys are hilarious, it never even occurred to me that Lauren would be on the other line from that phone call. That's probably because I know where this story is going. Hehehe. We fell a little short the review goal... sad! Leave me some love ladies, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.  
**


	5. Trick or Treat

I was going to kill Alice. Alec and I were sitting in a dim corner of the restaurant, sharing an appetizer and a carafe of wine. I had insisted on just getting the appetizer because after about five minutes I knew that I wanted to get out of this date as soon as humanly possible.

To say that Alec was less than a brilliant conversationalist would be the understatement of the century. When not directly answering a question, he sat and stared at me, not blinking for minutes at a time. I was tempted to throw bits of pita bread at his face to see if that would make his eyelids move. Creepy doesn't even begin to cover it.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom, grabbing my purse and fleeing to the bar area. I wasn't going to the bathroom; I was getting the hell out of there. I couldn't take a single more second of Alec's blank staring. As I neared the door, I swear I heard angels singing. Sweet freedom.

"Bella?"

The tone of the voice didn't even register. In a panic, I ducked behind the hostess stand.

"Bella?"

The voice was closer now. It didn't sound like Alec, but I couldn't be sure. I lifted myself up a few inches so that only my eyes and the top of my head peeked over the top of the podium, trying to be as stealthy as possible.

Emmett and Rosalie stood a few feet from me, dressed for a night out. Emmett was laughing and Rose had both her eyebrows raised in confusion. I straightened immediately, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God, you're not the date from hell."

Rosalie's eyes widened in sudden understanding before she joined Emmett's laughter.

"This guy has you hiding behind a hostess station? Not a good sign," she laughed, shaking her head.

"Did you stick the poor bastard with the food and the bill?" Emmett asked. He looked way too amused by my situation for his own good.

"He deserves it. You have no idea," I protested. "I have half a mind to find your sister right now and beat her senseless with my shoe."

"No beating up the babysitter," he said sternly, but his face was sympathetic. "Did she set you up on a blind date?"

I nodded and continued nervously surveying the front of the restaurant for signs that Alec had caught on to my escape. So far, so good. "Does she do that often?"

Rosalie laughed again. "Only every chance she gets. Alice fancies herself to be a bit of a matchmaker. She set up one successful couple in college and it went to her head a bit."

"I don't think Angela and Ben were even her idea originally," Emmett mused. "Didn't Edward suggest it?"

"This is all very interesting guys, but I have to leave before the Boy Wonder figures out that I'm not coming back. You should call me this weekend and we'll discuss your Web site. "

Rosalie smiled and nodded, shooing me with her hands. "Go ahead, make your escape. I'll call you tomorrow morning."

Even though it was still early, I went straight home. I was tempted to call Edward, but it was Friday night. He and Lauren were probably out, or at the very least spending time together. He told me at length Thursday night about how little time they had between her job and other commitments. I couldn't understand how any woman lucky enough to have a man like Edward adore her like that would or could stay away so often, especially considering the dating pool.

I sat in my empty apartment flicking through channel after channel of the garbage reserved for Friday nights. Romantic comedies, syndicated reruns of sitcoms I've seen too many times to count. It was all very pathetic and sad. Too bad Alec hadn't been remotely appealing. Maybe I was too picky. Maybe I should let Alice set me up again: it would give both of us something to do. A girl had to have hobbies, right? Mine could be going on bad dates. I gave up at 10 and went to bed, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.

I managed to sleep until 7, which was a small miracle for me. You never really appreciate what a gift it s to be able to sleep until noon until you're not a teenager anymore. While I was enjoying my morning coffee, my phone rang.

"Good morning, Bella," Rosalie said. "It isn't too early is it? My body clock has been all out of whack lately with the baby and everything."

"No you're fine," I assured her. "I've been up for more than an hour."

"Oh good," she said. "I was thinking you could come over for lunch and we could talk business. I make a mean ham and cheese sandwich."

"That sounds wonderful," I agreed. She told me how to get to her and Emmett's home. They lived in a suburb to the north of the city, so I decided to take a little bit of extra time to get there. Good thing I left early, because it took me over an hour to find the place. I'm fairly good at navigating cities, but put me in a suburb or small town and I will get turned around quicker than anything.

I pulled up to a spacious two story white house. I was just about to ring the doorbell when Emmett opened the door.

"Just got Avery to sleep," he said, standing back to let me in. "Wanted to catch you before you rang the doorbell. It sets him off every time. Rosalie's in the kitchen, I'm going to grab my laptop."

I followed Emmett's directions through the house to the kitchen. The house was beautiful, wood floors throughout with bright homey touches in every corner. It was like walking through an issue of Better Homes and Gardens. I ended up in a sunny blue kitchen, light pouring through wide windows. Rosalie sat at a round kitchen table. Three plates were set out for lunch, and the kitchen smelled fabulous.

"Bella, thanks for coming," she greeted me. "I hope you like chicken and dumpling soup, I had some leftovers and I thought I'd toss it in a pot to have with lunch."

"It smells delicious," I said, joining her at the table. Emmett walked in and collapsed into a third chair.

"Emmett, do you think you could handle yourself a little less like an elephant? I'd really like to not have to replace these chairs any time soon." Rosalie gave him a stern look. He shrugged and laughed it off. He pushed his computer toward me. The Web browser was open to a site for a place called "Grease Monkeys." After a second it clicked and I started giggling hysterically. I scrolled down to a banner that stretched across the page. Rosalie and Emmett stood in the foreground in red coveralls, a team of scruffy looking men lined up behind them in various muscle man poses. Emmett's face was smudged with oil.

"Do you like it?" Emmett asked proudly.

"It's very you, Em," I said fondly. "You've got a good basic site, what did you want to add to it?"

We spend the next hour or so fiddling with design and format. They had a really clear picture of what they wanted everything to look like, but they didn't have the skills to make it a reality. It was fun to help them reach that vision, and I had a blast just hanging out with them. After Avery woke up from his nap, Rosalie let me hold him for a while.

He was such a happy baby, gurgling and giggling as I bounced him in my arms. "Wow, is he always so well behaved?" I asked.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Oh no, this is his 'look at me, I'm so cute and I never cause trouble' act. When it's only him and his mommy he can be a real pain in the ass."

Emmett chuckled and ran his hand gently over Avery's head. "That's my boy."

Suddenly, my cell phone rang shrilly in my purse. Avery, mid-gurgle, looked up at me and started to scream. Emmett scooped him up immediately and took him into the next room. I lunged for my purse and pulled out my phone, answering it quickly so the noise would stop. Unfortunately, the baby continued wailing in the background.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella. It's Edward."

"Um, hi Edward. What can I do for you?" Rosalie's eyes narrowed a little when I said Edward's name, but she left the kitchen, presumably to give me privacy.

"Well, I was calling to see if you were busy tonight. I have tickets to the Chicago Symphony Orchestra tonight and Lauren had something come up last minute," he said. He spoke slowly, fatigue creeping into his voice.

"I don't know, the symphony isn't really my thing," I hesitated. It was much too date-like for me to be comfortable with the invitation.

"Please, Bella? The ticket is just going to go to waste if you don't take it. I've been looking forward to this concert all month, it's a Halloween show. I know some of the guys in the symphony and it's going to be a hell of a show." He sounded like a little boy. I choked back an involuntary giggle.

"Well…" I wavered.

"Don't make me go alone," he tried again. This time his voice had an edge to it, like there was more he wasn't saying. I wondered if it was the first time this had happened.

"Okay," I relented. "Only because you sound so damn pathetic."

He laughed that genuine clear laugh that I loved. The sadness and exhaustion vanished, just like they had at the coffee shop.

"If you give me your address I'll pick you up at 7. The concert starts at 8, that'll give us plenty of time to wander around the Symphony Center for a bit before things get started."

By that time Emmett had calmed Avery down and he and Rosalie were both watching me with weird looks on their faces. I reeled off my address and made sure he knew where it was before hanging up. Neither of them said anything. I sighed and tossed my phone back into my purse.

"Okay, what?" I snapped, irritated with the silent stares.

My annoyance seemed to thaw them out. Rosalie blinked and smiled tightly, and Emmett turned to wander away, still rocking Avery a little bit.

"What did Edward want?" Rosalie asked casually.

"I guess Lauren had something come up tonight and he had an extra symphony ticket." I shrugged and tried to play it off. Emmett frowned and muttered something under his breath. Rosalie shook her head warningly and turned back to me.

"That sounds like fun," she said. "It's their Halloween show, right?"

"Yes." I looked at Emmett. His lips were pursed and his eyes were narrowed. "Is something wrong, Em?"

He sighed and looked up, first at Rosalie, then at me.

"She does this all the time," he grumbled. "We don't talk about it a whole lot, hell, Edward and I don't talk much, period. But she's constantly bailing on plans with him. I think she's cheating on him."

"Emmett," Rosalie warned.

"No, I'm telling you, that girl is not on the level. She's messing around."

"Don't you think he'd notice if something was up?" I interrupted. "I had a long talk with him the other day. She's been really busy with work lately, and that's been causing some strain. But it sounds like they're really happy in general." I didn't really want to insert myself into a clearly sensitive situation, but I also felt compelled to stand up for Edward. Secretly, I wondered if maybe Lauren wasn't the problem in this situation.

We chatted for another half hour or so before I took off to regroup for the evening. When I got to my apartment I was faced with the daunting task of finding symphony appropriate attire. I put it off for a while, taking a long, hot bath and putting my hair up in hot curlers before returning to my closet, wrapped in my bathrobe. Once again I was faced with the very real problem that my wardrobe was not Midwest friendly.

I finally settled on a long sleeved black shirt dress. It wasn't the fanciest thing I owned, but I dressed it up with a low pair of patent leather heels, a wide belt and some bright orange jewelry. Now came the tricky part. I needed to make sure it didn't look like I was dressing to impress, but I still wanted to look nice. I didn't have a ton of dating experience, but I knew that makeup and hair sent important signals.

Staring gloomily into the mirror, I decided to tackle my makeup first. _Keep it simple_. I dusted a layer of foundation on my skin and added some blush to color my cheeks. I eyed the stick of eyeliner in my makeup bag warily. Somehow I always managed to stab myself in the eyeball. Nope, better just skip it. Add a little bit of lip gloss on the way out the door and voila. Simple.

Following the simplicity theme, I left my hair down, brushing out my curls into perfect waves. I sighed happily. I looked perfect for the occasion. Dressed up enough for the symphony, but dressed down enough for a casual outing with my friend. So why was I so nervous?

I didn't have long to ponder the question. About two minutes later there was a sharp knock on my door. I held my breath and opened the door, bracing myself for a sure to be sexy looking Edward, dressed for the symphony.

Edward stood there, hands in his pockets, looking like an older, sexier James Dean. As my eyes wandered past his face to his outfit, however, the similarities became fewer and fewer. He was wearing a horrible burnt orange dress shirt tucked into a pair of black pants. Over his shirt, he wore a black tie with bright orange and green dancing jack-o-lanterns grinning up at me. A bat-shaped tie pin finished the ensemble off.

For a second, all I could do was stare. Then he smiled at me, and I couldn't help it: I started giggling uncontrollably.

"What are you wearing?" I finally spat out. "You look like Halloween vomited all over you."

"What's wrong with that?" he asked, grinning crookedly. "You know how much I love Halloween."

"There is a point when commitment to a theme crosses a line," I replied. "I can't believe Lauren let you out of the house like that. The tie alone should be against the law."

"I'll have you know my students love this tie," he said. I followed him down the stairs and onto the street, where a beautiful silver car waited at the curb.

"I wouldn't take the opinions of 14 year olds very seriously, especially regarding holiday themed neckwear. They were probably just taking bets to see if you would actually go out in public wearing it."

"Are you done?" he asked. He crossed his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"I reserve the right to mock the tie at any point this evening."

He smiled widely and unlocked the passenger door for me. "Fair enough."

We chatted quietly on the way to the Symphony Center. It was a short drive, and we found a spot in one of the crowded parking structures on Michigan Avenue before walking down the street to the concert hall. We wandered through the crowds after checking in with our tickets, taking in the people and the beautiful building.

"I'm not sure I want to be seen talking to you while you're wearing that tacky tie," I said casually, throwing him a small smile as we walked.

"At least I have some holiday spirit," he scoffed. "You should take notes. You could learn something from me. Then again, you were always a little unimaginative when it came to Halloween."

"Unimaginative, or brilliant?" I shot back.

"Please, remember the Halloween where you dressed as a rock? Explain to me how that's imaginative."

"The rock costume was my most ingenious Halloween ever, Cullen. Don't you forget it."

Ah, yes. The rock costume. Despite what Edward thought, it was one of the most brilliant moments of my childhood. I was unbearably shy and hated dressing up of any kind, which included costumes. Unfortunately, my parents insisted that I participate in Halloween activities, something about it being a "rite of passage." Every year I came up with creative ways to avoid a ridiculous costume, but that year I had to be extra cunning. Esme and my mother Renee had joined forces and decided the group of us would dress as characters from the Flintstones.

Emmett, Alice and Edward accepted their roles as Fred, Betty, and Barney with grace and even some excitement. But there was no way on God's green earth I was going to wear a white toga and a red wig to school as Wilma, let alone go around town trick-or-treating like that. After a week of thought, I announced that in keeping with the theme, I would be … a rock.

My parents and the Cullens thought it was hilarious, but poor, tiny Alice was horrified. She tried to convince me to change my plans, or at least let her help me with an elaborate paper mache rock costume. Again, my devious 7 year old brain triumphed. I wore gray sweatpants and a gray t-shirt, with a gray sheet draped over my head. Not only was I in costume, but I was completely hidden from view under my sheet. The only downside was that everyone thought I was a ghost. Cretins. Ah well, genius is never appreciated in its own time.

Eventually, Edward led me to a side door near the front of the theater. I gasped.

"We're sitting here?" We were behind the orchestra, raised up in a smaller section of seats above the stage, but not as high up as the balcony out front. I could see the entire theater, and the stage was spread out in front of us. From where we stood, the musicians would have their backs to us with the conductor facing us.

"Do you like it?" he asked me, his smile growing even bigger. "This is my favorite place to sit. Right in the middle of the action, so to speak. You can watch the musicians play up close and get a really great view of the conductor, which I think is so cool."

"Sometimes," he lowered his voice conspiratorially, "I pretend like I'm one of the musicians in the orchestra."

"You do know that you would never get away with wearing that tie if you were a member of the orchestra?"

He elbowed me in the ribs and I gasped sharply, letting out an involuntary laugh.

"I don't let pity dates tickle me, Cullen," I scowled, trying to sound tough. He laughed loudly and poked me again, eliciting another shriek of laughter.

"Pity date? Please, I bet this is the best date you've been on in months, pity or no."

"Truer words have never been spoken," I sighed. "You should have seen the guy Alice set me up with last night." I launched into the story, sparing no detail. I even imitated Alec's blank creepy stare. By the end of my tale of woe, Edward was doubled up, tears in his eyes.

"Oh my God," he gasped. "I have never been more grateful to be off the market. You know she's not going to stop, right? She'll have dates lined up from here to Canada of Bella Boyfriend Hopefuls. Promise you'll tell me about them, I didn't know blind dates could be so funny."

"Laugh it up," I huffed. "Lucky, lucky Edward doesn't have to rummage through the dumpster for dates. If you want to live vicariously through someone else's bad dates, you can find another patsy."

"Please?" he pouted. The look was so reminiscent of his 10 year old self that I had to laugh and agree.

"So what was Lauren called away to this evening?" I asked. It was honest curiosity, but I sensed almost immediately that it was the wrong question. His mouth tightened slightly and his eyes lost their sparkle.

"Jessica had some sort of girl emergency. God only knows," he said. His voice was low and quiet, but there was an unmistakable edge of hostility to it. "She called crying her eyes out about an hour before I called you. Lauren said it was something to do with a guy." He shook his head.

"Apparently she had to drop everything and run to her aid."

"She sounds like a wonderful friend," I said hesitantly. I couldn't understand why Lauren helping out a friend in a bad situation would evoke this reaction from him. It seemed like something a close friend would do. "I'd love to meet her."

He opened his mouth to speak, but just then the lights dimmed and the orchestra tramped onstage. When the conductor entered, it was all I could do to hold in my laughter. He was dressed in a black and red cape and a tuxedo, in an unmistakable impression of Count Dracula.

The concert was fun, as promised, and every so often Edward would lean over and whisper a story about the piece being played or the composer. He seemed to have an endless supply of knowledge about musical history.

After the concert, Edward took me home. He seemed tense again, though I couldn't imagine why. He insisted on walking me to my door, and after we got there he shuffled his feet for a moment, unwilling to leave. Finally he looked up and spoke.

"I was thinking about what you said the other night. About Alice, and doing something for myself when Lauren is out. What do you think about making 'boy's night'… family night? You know, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, and you, of course. The way things have been… I don't want it to be like this anymore."

I smiled widely at him. "Edward, I think that is a fantastic idea. You should call everyone tomorrow and ask them, but I have a pretty good idea they'll say yes. They miss you."

He stared down at his feet again. "Thank you, Bella. Thank you for coming out tonight, and thank you for listening. It's been a while since anyone has really listened." He seemed to snap out of his gloom then. He smiled crookedly, took my hand, and planted a sloppy kiss on the back of it. "It was a wonderful pity date."

I said goodnight and locked my door before collapsing on my couch. I was physically and mentally exhausted, but in a good way. I fell asleep quickly, dreaming of vampires and dancing jack-o-lanterns.

* * *

**A/N: If you want to see where Edward and Bella were sitting, you can find a seat chart for the CSO on their web site under "Know Your Seats" I tried posting the link but it wasn't working for some reason. Pretty cool tool though, you should check it out. **

**So, what do you think? Leave me a review!**


	6. Do Not Pass Go

"I don't know how you did it, but I am officially impressed," Alice said, taking a bite of her turkey sandwich.

It was Monday afternoon, and we were sitting on a bench in a tiny alcove in Tribune Tower eating lunch. Alice really wanted to get out of her building, and I was having a particularly hectic day, so she met me at work for a quick lunch.

"What do you mean?" I had a pretty good idea what she was referring to, but I wanted to hear her say it.

"Edward called Emmett and I yesterday and suggested we start a regular Thursday evening family night," she said. "He mentioned that you would be there, and I know he didn't come up with this on his own. What did you do?"

I shrugged. "All I said was that you guys miss him, and that he doesn't have to be miserable and alone every time Lauren goes out with Jessica. He came up with the family night idea all on his own."

"Whatever, you're like the Edward whisperer," she giggled. "Don't try to deny it, he practically gushed about how much fun he had at the concert on Saturday. He was as giddy as a 13 year old girl. Which reminds me," she fixed an avid stare on me. "How was your date with Alec? I haven't seen him today… did you schedule a second date?"

I chewed on my lip, trying to determine the most diplomatic way to answer her questions. She would find out sooner or later that I had abandoned him in the restaurant, but how much to disclose about how terrible it really was?

"We didn't really hit it off," I said. There, that was honest enough. Alice's forehead wrinkled a bit and she frowned.

"I don't understand, you two are perfect for each other."

I smiled apologetically, silently praying that she drop it so I wouldn't have to tell her how awful her instincts for matchmaking really were.

"Oh well," she sighed. "There are plenty of fish in the sea. I know just the guy for your next date."

Which is how I ended up at yet another restaurant bar, waiting for the next of Alice's so-called perfect matches on Tuesday after work. She had given me another less than precise description of Aaron, saying that he was a family friend and he was tall and would be wearing a three piece suit.

"Alice, you realize it will be a small miracle if I recognize him on that description alone?" I had whined.

"Don't worry, Bella, I showed him your picture. He knows exactly what you look like."

I bit my tongue, not even wanting to know how she had gotten a picture of me, nor who else she was peddling me off on.

I sighed heavily and smiled at the bartender working the other end of the bar. He nodded at me, and I called, "Rum and diet?" Less than a minute later I was knocking back my drink and praying that Aaron was not as creepy as Alec.

"Bella Swan?" a smooth tenor voice asked from behind me. I turned around to see a tall man in a navy three piece suit.

"You must be Aaron," I said, smiling sweetly. Inside, I was horrified. He was at least 40 years old, but clearly trying to downplay his age. His black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and he had an earring.

"Call me Aro, all my friends do," he replied. And then he winked. Ew. He offered me his arm and I took it, trying to keep as much distance between the two of us as possible. He led me to a table and instantly signaled a waiter and ordered a bottle of red wine.

"You'll love the bruschetta here, its da bomb," he said, passing me a menu. I looked at him blankly, trying to ascertain if he was being ironic. He was staring at his menu, not a hint of humor in his expression. Weird.

Thirty minutes later, I was absolutely positive that he wasn't being ironic. Aro dropped poorly used teeny bopper slang into almost every sentence. At first it was kind of funny, but then it just got pathetic.

"I wish you could have seen this guys face after I out-negotiated him. It was totally WIN!"

_Win? What the fuck does that mean?_ It was like he was speaking in tongues.

"That's great… Aro," I mumbled, shoving another forkful of pasta in my mouth and silently willing him to stop speaking. I felt silly calling him Aro, but after the first couple of times he corrected me I just went with it.

He was rambling on about how he "totally pwned" at racquetball when the waitress brought our check. I reached for it automatically. My basic instincts told my body that as soon as we paid this torture would end. Aro beat me to it. He shook his head at me and chuckled.

"What kind of date would this be if I let you pay? Don't worry, I got bank," he said, winking at me again. Someone seriously needed to tell him that the winking was creepy. He walked me out to the street where I called a cab. My goal was to leave before he said anything else that reminded me of Will Smith cerca 1994.

"Can I get your digits? I'd love to see you again," he asked. Curses, foiled again.

"I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work out, Aro," I said quickly, ducking into a cab. When we pulled away from the curb, I sighed in relief. I checked my cell phone. The date had lasted less than an hour, but I was completely drained.

I changed into sweats when I got home and pulled out a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I was deciding between a book and a movie when my cell phone caught my eye. Edward made me promise to tell him about all my terrible dates, after all.

Before I could think about it too hard, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. When it started ringing, I had a brief moment of irrational panic. He was probably busy. Was it weird to call him just to talk? He probably didn't mean I should _call him _after every terrible date. I was about to hang up when he answered.

"Hello?" His voice was tired and low, as per usual.

"Hi, Edward, it's Bella," I began nervously.

"Bella! Hey, how's it going?"

"I was calling to get your feedback on something," I said seriously. "Think carefully. You're a teacher, so you're surrounded by young minds every day. Tell me… what is the proper use of the term 'WIN?' Here, I'll use it in a sentence. 'That was so totally WIN.'"

He burst out laughing, clearly not expecting my question. "Why on earth do you need to know?"

"Alice set me up with a guy who was using slang like it was going out of style, and a lot of it had. The worst part was he's like 40 years old. It was like being on a date with my father. No, I take that back. This guy is probably older than Charlie."

"Oh, man, that's awful," he said, still laughing. "Um… from what I gather, WIN and FAIL are just ways of saying really good and really bad. I don't really get it, but there you are."

"Okay, see, that's what I thought. I knew cool Mr. Cullen would know." I sighed and leaned back into the couch, enjoying my ice cream and the sound of his laughter.

"So, Alice strikes again. Who was it this time?"

"His name is Aaron, but he goes by—"

"Oh my God, she didn't set you up with Aro," he interrupted. "That guy is such a tool! He's one of Dad's friends, had some kind of mid-life crisis a few years ago. He got a divorce, bought a Porche, and grew his hair long. They're college buddies; Dad swears he was normal once."

I couldn't help but laugh at Edward's description. It sounded pretty accurate, although if he went to college with Carlisle he was even older than I thought. I shuddered. "Edward, he was using teen catch phrases from the 90's. At one point, he asked our waiter whazzzzzzup?"

"He did not!" Edward gasped, clearly having problems breathing through his laughter. "I wish I could say I'm surprised, but from the few encounters I've had with the guy, that sounds pretty accurate."

"Well, at least I escaped, although not before he asked for my 'digits.'" Once I was a little removed from the situation, the sheer horror of the evening wore off some. It was pretty funny, I had to admit. I've always had a flair for storytelling, and the way Alice was heading I would have fuel for my party stories for years.

"Alice is really excited about family night," I told him, once our laughter had quieted down. "I think it was a great idea. Where are we meeting this week?" Since Lauren commandeered Edward's apartment every Thursday night, we would have to alternate through different locations.

"Well, my sister the tyrant insisted on a board game night at her house," he answered. "I'm not sure it's the best idea, especially considering Emmett's ability to cheat at any board game, but she says that Jasper is a Rule Nazi and will keep him in check."

"Does he still deny the Candyland incident?" I chuckled.

"Fervently," Edward replied. Emmett was our standby babysitter once he turned 11, and often orchestrated afternoons filled with games, water sports, and general mischief when he watched us during summer vacations. On rainy afternoons we would spend hours playing board games. Emmett, being older, was in a good position to cheat. And cheat he did. Often.

Most of these occasions only became obvious through the lens of old age and experience, but the Candyland incident was particularly blatant, and even as six year olds Alice and I knew something was up. The game had started like any other. In a lucky second draw, or so it seemed, Emmett picked Queen Frostine. He won the game in three moves.

We started again. This time, Emmett drew double color cards every turn. I think it took him six moves to win the second game. We played five straight games of Candyland and Emmett won each game in less than ten moves. Edward, Alice and I drew two double color cards and one character card between us over the course of all five games.

Being a slightly more savvy eight year old, Edward accused Emmett of stacking the deck. Emmett denied it up and down, even after Edward creamed him with a pillow. In the ensuing pillow fight, accusations of cheating were forgotten for the time. Edward refused to play Candyland after that day, saying he would only play if Emmett admitted to cheating, which of course, never happened.

I showed up at Alice's apartment at 7 on the dot, which was probably why I was the first one there. Apparently Edward wasn't the only Cullen who had problems being on time. Alice was happy to see me, though. We had to skip lunch Wednesday and Thursday because her department had landed a new account, which in Alice's world meant working through lunch and lots of barely compensated overtime.

While I missed our lunches, it meant I didn't have to answer awkward questions about my date with Aro. It was only a matter of time before the topic arose tonight. I only hoped that she'd do it before there was too much of an audience.

When Jasper arrived, she sent him to set up the game table and lay out our options for the night while the two of us rounded up the snacks and drinks. As soon as she got me in the kitchen, the questions started.

"So, isn't Aaron great?" She nudged me with her shoulder and grinned. "He's so funny, always making those ridiculous jokes! How did things go? When are you seeing him again?"

I sighed and dumped a bag of tortilla chips into a glass bowl, trying to formulate my answer.

"Well, first of all, isn't it Aro?" I glanced at her, but she was cheerily arranging fruit on a plate.

"Oh, I always forget," she replied. "That's a relatively new nickname. We always called him Uncle—I mean Aaron. "

I groaned a little and turned to face her with my hands on my hips. "Alice, Edward already told me he went to college with your dad. How old _is_ this guy?"

"He's young at heart," she hedged. "And don't you think he's funny? I thought he'd be good for you, you're so serious sometimes."

"Alice… the way he talks? He's not joking." I looked at her for a second, but she didn't seem to be getting it. I tried again. "All the youth slang? That's him being serious."

"What? No, I'm sure you're wrong," she started. A sharp knock interrupted us. "I'm coming!" she yelled. "We'll talk about this later, Bella." She scurried off to the door.

Emmett and Rosalie were at the door with an extremely bundled up Avery. Alice squealed and grabbed him from Rosalie immediately. She made little cooing sounds as she walked him back to a play pen she had set up in the corner of the living room.

"Excellent, monopoly," Emmett boomed. He eyed up the games stacked at Alice's table. "It's been a while since I dominated the global economy."

Rosalie sighed heavily. "Emmett, if you don't tone down the competitive jackass, I swear to God you will be sleeping in the guest room tonight."

He just grinned at her and winked cheerily. _Interesting, when Emmett winks it's _not_ creepy._ "Come on, baby, you love it when I'm a jackass."

"Well she's the only one," Alice chirped from the corner. Before they could argue anymore, another series of knocks sounded from the door. I ran to get it, anxious to get away from the smack talk that Emmett and Alice were currently engaging in.

Edward stood in the hallway in a tight gray t-shirt and jeans. He smiled at me and pulled me in for a hug before I could do much more than stare.

"Hey, Belly," he said. "Am I the last one here?"

I nodded quietly, and tried to think about anything other than how good he smelled. What was wrong with me? Edward was a good friend, practically family. He said I was like a sister to him, and he was right. Now was not the time to start noticing how attractive he was. Or rather keep noticing. Anyone with eyes could see he was hot. _That's not helping, Bella._

"The competition has arrived! Now we can start," Emmett announced, clapping his hands loudly.

"Are you sure those dice aren't loaded, Alice?" I asked, making my way over to the empty chair next to Edward. "Because I don't trust Emmett further than I can throw him, and I can't even pick him up."

Edward laughed loudly, and everyone looked at him, mystified. He noticed, of course. "What are you all staring at? That was funny."

"It wasn't that funny," Emmett muttered. "And I don't cheat! Don't be hatin' on me just because I'm a land baron."

Alice coughed out, "Candyland."

Jasper was already laying out the board and studying the directions. "Who's going to be the banker?" he asked.

"I'm always the banker, and Alice gets the properties," Edward announced. "It's easier to keep an eye on Em that way."

"A system of checks and balances, if you will," Alice put in.

"But it says in the rules that the banker sells the properties," Jasper protested. "You can't just split the job up like that."

"Lighten up, Jazz," Alice giggled. "House rules." He sighed heavily and passed her the pile of properties while Edward started divvying up piles of monopoly money. Each Cullen had a long-standing claim on a player piece: Alice was the thimble, Edward was the knight, Emmett was the racecar, and Rosalie was the shoe. Jasper decided on the battleship, and I took the iron.

About forty five minutes into the game, things were getting ugly.

"Yes! States Place, I'm buying it," I cheered. Emmett groaned loudly. While I was having problems collecting properties that were of any value to me personally, I was apparently quite adept at landing on the ones that Emmett needed to complete his monopolies.

"Bella, I will give you $2,000 for Marvin Gardens and States Place," he begged, waving a fistful of cash at me. The fact that he had that much cash at hand was proof I didn't want to sell to him, he'd toss up hotels in two turns. "I'll even throw in a railroad."

I looked over at Alice. "I need a consultation on the house rules. Can he negotiate out of turn?"

"Definitely not," she smirked. "Emmett, shut your trap. It's Edward's turn."

"Bella?" Edward said politely. Oh this was going to be good.

"Yes, Edward?"

"I was wondering if you would be willing to part with Marvin Gardens for $300? That's a whopping $20 profit you know."

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. My motley collection of properties wasn't going to win me the game, and Edward had the best chance of beating Emmett currently. I was almost out of money already, and if I went bankrupt on one of Emmett's squares he'd get it all.

"If you can up that to $350, I think we would have a deal," I answered.

Emmett made a choking sound. I turned to smile at him. "I'm sorry, Emmett, did you say something?"

Edward handed me the money and we made the exchange while the rest of the group tried not to laugh at Emmett's outraged expression.

Emmett still won, in the end, but the game took more than two hours, and it came down to Edward and Emmett fighting a turf war of dumb luck. When it became obvious that neither one of them would quit, the rest of us wandered off to the living room for some wine and conversation.

"How's the job going, Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"I had some problems with a few of the guys at first, but things seem to be going really well now," I said. "A couple of them have been really great. Seth, one of the sports guys, has been incredibly sweet."

"Oh? Seth, huh? Is he cute?" she leaned in and waggled her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"Seth is just a friend. He's been really nice and helpful, but he's got this whole wide-eyed innocent thing going. Not my type."

"Who is your type?" Edward asked. The game had just finished, and Emmett was packing up the board. Edward collapsed onto a chair and looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "Dark and brooding, the silent, staring type?" he added. "Or maybe someone hip, someone who can really get jiggy with it?"

I bit back my giggles while the Rosalie, Alice and Jasper looked between us like we were crazy.

"I don't have a type," I said as dismissively as possible. "I go on gut instinct. The guy's either got it, or he doesn't."

"Seems awful subjective," he shot back. "Come on, Alice. Tell her about the newest guy you're just dying to set her up with."

That was all the encouragement Alice needed. She started talking a mile a minute about some guy named Laurent who she just knew would be a better fit. I zoned out and focused on something more pleasant. Like the way the merlot I was drinking tingled a little on my taste buds. And the way Avery made little smacking noises while he slept in his play pen. And the way Edward's mouth curled up slightly while he listened to Alice.

Looking at his mouth was a bad plan. _Refocus. And stop drinking immediately._ I tuned back into what Alice was saying.

"He's so cute, Bella," she finished. "And that accent, God you'll die a little the first time you hear him speak. He's French, and his voice is like melting butter." She sighed happily.

"Okay, Alice. Just tell me where to be and I'll be there." I rolled my eyes at Edward and he grinned back. Maybe this date would be different. Even Alice couldn't be wrong _every_ time. And Laurent sounded pretty great on paper. Hopefully he didn't have a secret fetish for wearing women's underwear or dream of being a cabaret star.

"That reminds me," Edward piped up. "Lauren wanted me to invite you over to dinner, Bella." Four pairs of eyes stared in shock. "She's heard so much about you, she wants to meet you in person," he explained. "When are you free next week?"

"Ummm," I stuttered. The invitation took me completely off guard. "How's Wednesday?"

"Bella, can you help me wrap some of this food up?" Alice interrupted. I nodded and grabbed a couple of bowls.

"Wednesday sounds good," he called over to me. I followed Alice into the kitchen and started packing away food into Tupperware containers. It was a few seconds before I realized that Alice was standing there, not moving, with her arms crossed on her chest.

"What's up, Alice?" I asked warily. Her expression was a little too doomsday for my taste. She took a deep breath, like she was steeling herself for something unpleasant.

"I just don't want you to go into the lion's den unprepared," she blurted. "I know you and Edward are friends, but Lauren is not a … nice person. I don't want you to get hurt."

I shook my head and continued working. "Alice, why would Edward be with a girl like that? I think you and Emmett are overreacting. She sounds wonderful."

"She's snooty and stuffy and a pain in the ass," she said firmly. "Edward sees what he chooses to see. He wants her to be wonderful , and so she is. Believe me, I've seen her break out the ugly. I don't want to see you get caught in the crosshairs. She comes from money, and she's about as stuck up and entitled as they come. Sometimes I think she's only with Edward because he's the perfect boyfriend."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

"Oh come on, Bella. He's handsome and musical. He loves kids. He's polite to a fault. He bends over backwards to make her happy, even if that means that he has to give something up that's important to him. He goes to every single social function she drags him to without complaint." She rolled her eyes.

"He's selfless to a fault. It's annoying."

I patted her on the back and smiled a little.

"Edward is a big boy Alice. He can make his own decisions. I'm sure that Lauren is wonderful, maybe you just need to spend more time with her. Edward thinks we'll get along really well, and truthfully I'm looking forward to meeting her. There's nothing to be worried about."

"Famous last words," she muttered quietly before following me out of the kitchen.

* * *

**A/N: So this chapter was really fun for me. My family has a long history of board games and Monopoly in particular. My brother does actually refer to himself as "land baron." It's more annoying because he usually wins. So, another blind date over, and more in the horizon. And we will finally meet the infamous Lauren! I'm scared... Leave me a review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.**


	7. Dish It Out

"I wouldn't do that I were you."

I sighed and turned around slowly. Seth leaned against the doorway to my cubicle with a smirk on his face.

"Wouldn't do what?"

"Send James' article back to him covered in red ink. He'll flip his shit and then I'll have to listen to him rage out for the next hour." A look of exaggerated dread crossed his face. "Don't put me through that, Bella, I beg you!"

I tapped my pen against my chin thoughtfully. "What if I used a more friendly color? Purple perhaps? I had a professor in college who only corrected in purple ink because she read somewhere it was less harmful to our fragile student egos."

"He'd probably think you were taking a shot at his sexual orientation," mused Seth. "Not that it wouldn't be hilarious, but maybe purple's not the way to go."

I laughed and shook my head. "It's not really all that marked up. I just made a few suggestions in the margins. And he hasn't been such an asshole lately. Do you think I'm making progress?"

"Maybe," he said doubtfully. "I've worked with him long enough that I'm more inclined to believe he's biding his time."

I wrinkled my nose and sighed dramatically before tossing James' latest draft into my outbox and standing to stretch. It was four, which meant that in an hour I could start my weekend. Alice had graciously set up my date with the Frenchman for Saturday night, so I was looking forward to a low key night at home.

"I actually stopped by to see what you were up to after work tonight," Seth said brightly. "Garrett, Jeremy and I are headed over to Ivan's for happy hour and I thought maybe you'd like to come."

"Eh," I grunted noncommittally. "I don't know, Seth. I'd feel out of place."

"Come on, just for a little while?" he wheedled. "If you want them to accept you, you have to face them in their natural habitat."

"A crowded sports bar?"

"Absolutely. So, are you in?" He looked so excited, I couldn't tell him no. Plus, maybe he had a point. These guys were friends, and it wouldn't hurt for them to see me as one of the boys.

"Okay," I agreed. "Let me know when you're headed out and I'll join you."

Ivan's was a local sports pub with a reputation for hot wings and the best selection of beer on tap in the city. Alice told me that she and Jasper liked to go there on Wednesday nights for their weekly trivia competition. Yes, that's right. Alice voluntarily participated in trivia night. It's okay, you can laugh. I did.

Seth bought our first pitcher and the four of us grabbed an empty booth.

"So, Bella, how's the city treating you so far?" Garrett asked. "Have you been exploring the sights?"

"I went to the symphony the other night," I shrugged. "And I've been up and down Michigan Avenue. I haven't really gotten a chance to do much more than hit a few restaurants on the weekends."

"What brings to Chitown, anyway?" Seth asked. "Family? Maybe a… boyfriend?"

Garrett and Jeremy started laughing and Seth turned a little pink. "What? It's a fair question. I was just wondering."

"No, no boyfriend," I laughed. "I came for the job. The market is pretty terrible in Phoenix right now, and I had a hard time finding a job that would pay a living wage. I really wanted a job in online media, and when Chuck offered me this opportunity I couldn't turn it down. It was pretty much the perfect job, except for the fact that you guys have the crappiest weather _ever_."

"Oh, please," Jeremy scoffed. "It's only November. The frost has barely started. You can complain about the weather in January when it's twenty below and the snow's blowing in from the lake."

"Great, it actually gets colder?" I groaned. "I'm running out of cardigans."

Garrett laughed and poured me another beer. "My girlfriend Kate is from California. It took her a few years to really get used to the weather here. I bet she'd love to help you warm up your wardrobe. If you give me your number, I'll have her call you."

"That sounds really great," I said, more enthusiastic than usual about the possibility of shopping. "It would be nice to have another friend in town."

The night ended up being a ton of fun, and Seth was right: it was great seeing Garrett and Jeremy outside of the office. I already felt comfortable with Seth, and he was sweet and charming without even trying. I did get the distinct impression that he was trying to flirt with me at points throughout the evening. It was fun to flirt, but he was a friend, and I told Rosalie the truth when I said he wasn't my type. By the time we left Ivan's I felt like I had made a real connection with the guys. Seth walked me back to my car, chatting comfortably about work and the city. He waited for me to unlock my car and then gave me a one armed hug.

"I'm glad you came out tonight, Bella," he said, smiling broadly. "We should do this again."

"Definitely," I agreed. Seth was a good guy, and it felt normal to be out with him, like we had always been friends.

On Saturday I got a phone call from Garrett's girlfriend Kate. We chatted for a while and agreed to meet the following week for drinks and a little shopping. She seemed really nice, and I hoped that she would be another friend. I missed Phoenix and the feeling of comfort and support that comes with living somewhere for a long time. I was anxious to create that feeling in Chicago as soon as possible.

It was in that spirit that I dolled myself up for blind date #3: Laurent the Frenchman. At the very least I was exploring the various restaurants in Chicago and getting some free food out of the deal. Although really, remembering Alec and Aro, paying for my food was the least they could do.

The address Alice gave me for this date wasn't downtown, but I found the place easily enough. I walked into the quiet Thai restaurant and for the first time felt kind of hopeful. Alice gave me strict instructions to wait out front for Laurent, so after smiling briefly at the hostess I let my eyes roam over the place. The artwork was beautiful, and even from the entrance the place smelled fantastic. I found myself believing that this date could be different. The place was already classier and more intimate than the first two locations.

The door swung open and a gorgeous man with flawless olive toned skin, deep brown eyes, and carefully groomed black hair strode into the restaurant. He smiled at me, and I felt myself smiling back without even thinking about it. _Please let this be my date_.

"Bella?"

I take back everything bad I ever thought about Alice and her matchmaking skills. My name on this beautiful man's lips was everything I dreamed it would be. How had Alice described his voice? Melting butter.

"Alice told me you were beautiful, but you surpass my expectations," he took my hand and kissed it softly, the gentle cadence of his accent wowing me for a second time. He was smiling at me slightly, and it was taking all my focus just to keep breathing. Oh yeah. It was my turn to speak.

"It's nice to meet you, Laurent." I barely squeaked it out, but he nodded and gave his name to the hostess quickly.

Our table was intimate, and I found myself staring at our surroundings in an effort to avoid staring at my date.

"So Alice tells me you're in journalism?" he asked politely.

"Yes, I—"

"Fascinating field," he interrupted. "When I was in college I was on my university's daily newspaper staff. I wrote a weekly column."

"That's really—"

"I had quite a following," he continued as if I hadn't spoken. "One girl got my phone number from the school directory and stalked me for a couple of weeks. We went out on a few dates."

Our waitress came up then and asked for our drink orders. Before I could ask for a Coke, Laurent ordered me a class of Chianti and a vodka tonic for himself. I hate Chianti. I was about to complain and call the waitress back when he launched into another story about his heyday as an in demand college columnist.

After that first question, he never asked about me again. He was oblivious to every attempt I made to interrupt or contribute to the conversation, and after a while I just gave up. It seems I wasn't the only one who was taken with the sound of his voice. I needn't have looked at the menu either, as he also ordered for me. Thankfully he didn't order anything disgusting, and I was able to spend the rest of the meal focusing on my food and tuning him out.

It was a shame really, he was devastatingly handsome. I briefly considered pretending I was interested long enough to get him back to my apartment for an hour… or so. Then he started off on another love letter to himself, this time going into detail about what a gifted golfer he was. No, there was no way I could keep feigning interest. What if he talked through sex? It wasn't worth the risk. Better to cut my losses and run.

I was climbing the stairs to my apartment when my phone buzzed in my purse. I dug it out and saw a new text message from Edward.

_**How is frenchie? R U moving to paris?**_

I rolled my eyes and checked the time. It was 10:30. Not too late, I could risk a phone call.

He picked up after one ring. "You're home already? What, does he chew with his mouth open?"

I laughed and unlocked my door, tossing my purse onto the coffee table and heading to my closet to change.

"It started out promising enough. Alice was right about one thing, he's pretty much the most beautiful guy I've ever seen close up."

He coughed a little, but I could hear the muffled laughter. "Better looking than me? Come on, Belly Bird, who are you kidding?"

I rolled my eyes and unzipped my dress before plopping down on my bed and tugging on my stockings. Edward was actually more my type than Laurent was, but I figured his ego didn't need that particular admission. "Yes, Edward, better looking than you. Just because all the teenage girls want to get in your pants doesn't mean the rest of the women in Chicago are lining up."

"Whatever. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Swan. What was so wrong with the male model that you're not still out with him?"

"Hold on a second, gotta put a shirt on," I said. I had already dropped the phone on my bed and grabbed my t-shirt when I realized that I probably didn't need to share that particular piece of information with him.

"Okay, I'm back, what was the question?" I tried to be casual and gloss over the moment a little. Maybe he wouldn't say anything.

"You know, most girls don't go topless until at least the second date," he said seriously. I sighed. This was Edward, of course he wouldn't just let it go.

"I wore a dress on the date, asshole," I shot back. "I'm home now and I'm changing into some pajamas. As for your earlier question, I think I said five full sentences during the entire date."

"He was talkative?"

I scowled and made my way to the bathroom to remove my makeup.

"Talkative I could live with. This crossed a line. He ordered me Chianti, which I hate, then ordered my meal without asking what I wanted. He talked about himself incessantly, and his stories really weren't that interesting. He did have a really sexy voice, though. Good thing, otherwise I wouldn't have made it. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm starting to lose my faith in mankind."

"I can't believe Alice keeps setting you up with this clowns," he said, a hint of humor in his voice. "Not terribly surprising, she's a disaster at set-ups, but seriously Bella… you deserve better than that. Don't let these guys get you down. There's someone out there for you."

Sighing, I walked back to my bed and threw myself into my pillows. "I'm giving her one more shot. One more date. After that I'm jumping off this crazy train. Maybe I can get Seth to take me on a pity date or something to throw Alice off the scent."

"I thought he wasn't your type?" he asked curiously.

"Maybe not," I admitted. "But he's funny and smart, and spending time with him doesn't make me want to gauge my eyes out. He's a viable candidate for a pity date if I ever saw one. Besides, it wouldn't be like, an actual date. We work together, that would get awkward."

There was a long pause, and just to keep the conversation going I asked the first question that came into my head. "So are we on for Wednesday? Does Lauren need me to bring anything for dinner?"

He laughed again, big booming guffaws. I actually had to hold the phone away from my ear until he calmed down a little. "Lauren will _not_ be cooking," he said when he finally stopped laughing. "God love her, that woman doesn't know a spatula from a steak knife. No, I'll be making dinner, and all you need to bring is yourself and your appetite."

"Why Edward Cullen, is there anything you can't do?" I asked archly.

"Last time I checked… no."

"Jerk," I laughed.

"Hey, you asked," he said defensively.

"I should let you go, it's Saturday night and unlike me, you've got someone waiting for you. Go hang out with your girlfriend."

"She's sleeping," he sighed. "She was at the office all day today, and she's going back tomorrow."

"She was working all day on a Saturday? Why on earth?"

"They've got a big criminal case coming up. She's been working really hard. I haven't seen her much this week. She promised though, Wednesday night she'll be here with bells on."

"With bells on? Really, Cullen? Did you suddenly morph into an 85 year old woman?"

"Shut up, it's something my mom says."

"That doesn't make it better. You know how I feel about people using slang that isn't age appropriate."

He laughed briefly, but it wasn't as light hearted as earlier.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" I asked quietly. I didn't want to pry, but he was quickly becoming one of my best friends, and I hated to think that he was unhappy.

"Yeah, it's just…. I don't know, Bella. I've been working so hard to keep everything together. I know she can't help it, it's her job. She's still proving herself, and long hours are expected when you're new and young. But when she works so much we never see each other, and then when we do we're both tired and we fight. I know that it won't always be this way and that this is just temporary, but I'm exhausted. I feel like I'm white water rafting without a paddle or a partner."

I didn't know what to say. I could hear the pain in his voice, and he sounded genuinely lost. I had never been in this situation. My past relationships were all shrouded in the easy give and take of college and high school, without the complications of the real world dragging us down. I also felt a little like we were crossing some kind of line, discussing his relationship while his girlfriend slept down the hall. It didn't seem right, but the helplessness in his tone made my heart ache. _Rock, meet hard place._

Before I could formulate a response, he sighed and spoke again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put all that on you. I'm doing okay, Bella. I'm not over the moon happy, but you can't be ecstatic with your relationship all the time. That's not realistic. Lauren and I are good together, and when her hours slow down again things will be better."

"I'm sure you're right," I rushed to agree with him. I wasn't sure, but what else could I say? Edward was so firm about how much he loved Lauren, and I respected that. It was admirable that he was willing to work so hard.

After a little more small talk, we said goodnight. It was getting harder to remain positive and optimistic about Lauren, but I was determined to reserve judgment until I actually met her. One way or another, I would know on Wednesday night.

*****

"What was wrong with Laurent? He's gorgeous and smart—"

"And completely full of himself," I finished, talking over Alice's protests. We were eating lunch at a corner diner on Tuesday, and I was trying to explain why I hadn't set up another date with Laurent. "He's extremely good looking, Alice. That's not the problem. It wasn't a good fit."

She huffed a bit and chewed on a French fry. "I don't get it. Every guy I've set you up with has been great. What's the problem?"

"I'm sure they're perfectly nice," I said, trying to soften the blow. "I just don't think blind dates are my thing. I was hoping we could take a break from the whole set-up thing."

"Bellaaaaa," she whined. "I already told Demetri about you and he was really looking forward to meeting you."

"Did you show him my picture?" I shot back. She pouted and I shook my head. "Fine. This is the last one. After Demetri you have to promise that you'll tear up the picture and stop trying to fix me up. Enough is enough."

"Spoil sport," she muttered. "When can I tell him works for you?"

"Friday is probably best," I decided. "Tomorrow I'm going over to Edward's and Thursday is my Cullen bonding time."

She giggled a little at that. "We're going to Emmett and Rosalie's this week. Do you want to carpool with Edward and me? It'll just be easier that way."

"Sounds good, Alice," I said. "Crap, is it 1 already? I have to get back."

"I can't come to lunch tomorrow, but I want you to call me after you get home from Edward's, do you hear me?" Alice said sternly. "I want to know exactly what she says to you."

"It's going to be okay," I waved her off. "Stop being so melodramatic."

Despite what I told Alice, I was nervous about finally meeting Lauren. Edward assured me again and again that Lauren and I would get along great, and that I had nothing to worry about. Even so, Emmett and Alice had me a little spooked.

I dressed carefully on Wednesday night, trying to exude confidence without looking too showy. It felt a little like dressing for battle. I rolled my eyes and pulled my hair into a knot at the nape of my neck. And I thought Alice was melodramatic.

I had never been to Edward's apartment before, but I wasn't surprised that he lived in a beautiful building on the north side of downtown. He answered the door looking slightly rumpled in a white button down and jeans, but he was smiling brightly. His hair was messier than usual and he was wearing his glasses again. He gave me a quick hug and led me into the living room.

"Lauren just called to say she was on her way home, so your timing is perfect," he said happily, taking my coat.

"Another late night?" I asked.

"Yeah, but getting her home before 8 these days is a small miracle, so I'll take it," he said. His smile dimmed a little bit, but he shook his head quickly and rubbed his hands together.

"So, I hope you like curry. It's one of my favorite things to make. Can I get you a beer or a glass of wine?"

"I love curry, and it smells amazing in here," I said quickly. "A glass of wine would be wonderful."

"Coming right up!" He turned and walked into the kitchen, which was situated just off the living area. A bar and window kept the spaces connected, and I watched him putter around with a bottle opener and the wine. "Is red okay?" he called.

"Yep," I responded. I was about to say something else when I heard keys jingling and the sound of a doorknob being turned. I froze, standing alone in the middle of Edward's living room. The door swung open and there, at last, was Lauren.

She was beautiful, that much was immediately obvious, although for some reason I hadn't pictured her as a blonde. Her hair was sleek and pulled back into a pony tail, and she was dressed in a conservative navy blue skirt suit. She was grappling with piles of manila envelopes and file folders, and her blue eyes popped open a little wider as she took me in. She recovered fairly quickly.

"You must be Bella," she said, bumping the door closed behind her with her hip. "Sorry I can't offer you my hand right now, I have to dump these off in the office and change my clothes."

Before I could say anything, she walked right past me, down the hall and through a door I assumed must be the office.

Edward popped his head out the kitchen window and quirked an eyebrow. "Was that Lauren?"

"I hope so, otherwise you have a strange blonde woman rifling through your home office," I joked, still a little winded by her quick greeting and dismissal. She seemed a little… cold. I shrugged it off. I would be frazzled too, coming home only to find a total stranger staring at me.

"Great," he smiled, walking out with two glasses of red wine. He handed me one and took a sip from the other. "Well, the table is set, so as soon as she's ready we can get cracking."

He led me into a small dining room where a small dark table was covered in steaming bowls and covered plates. I took a deep breath and hummed in appreciation.

"You know, I can never get the flavors of curry right," I said regretfully. "I've tried it a few times, and it just never turns out the way I think it will. But this smells like you ordered it from a restaurant."

"Well, it's no leftover stew," he chuckled. "But it's pretty tasty."

I choked on my wine and then laughed loudly. "Oh my God, I totally forgot about leftover stew! Gross, I think we may have outdone any of Renee's creations that night, and that's saying something." My mother was a notoriously creative cook, and it was rare that whatever she tried to cook was actually edible. I lived on a lot of pizza and Chinese takeout in middle school and high school. Despite that, leftover stew definitely took the prize in inedible culinary disasters.

Leftover stew was the result of another summer afternoon under Emmett's dubious supervision. It started out innocently enough. Alice and I decided that we would make dinner for the Cullens that evening. Edward was at little league and Emmett informed us that as long as we didn't set the house on fire, he didn't care what we did. He learned his lesson from the hamster cremation fiasco.

We didn't exactly have it in us to read and follow a recipe… so, like all good chefs do, we improvised. Esme always kept her fridge well stocked, and there were countless Tupperware containers with our favorite foods. Working off the basic principle that if one favorite food was good, more than one favorite food would be better, we systematically emptied half of the fridge into a giant soup pot. For good measure, we seasoned the resulting mess with anything in Esme's spice rack that smelled tasty, including thyme, basil, cinnamon, nutmeg, and garlic salt.

Edward and Emmett manfully ate a bowl each, but I'm pretty sure that Esme and Carlisle were hiding food in their napkins.

We were still cracking up when Lauren came back, now in a grey sweater dress and black tights. She smiled at us briefly and sat down next to Edward.

"What's so funny?"

"Leftover stew," Edward said, launching into the full story. Lauren listened quietly, an amused look on her face, as he stumbled through a description of everything that Alice and I had mixed together that afternoon. When he finished talking, she laughed once, politely, and said, "I guess you had to be there."

Edward coughed and stopped laughing. "Yeah, I guess." He dished out the curry and rice silently. She frowned at him slightly.

"I wish you would get a haircut, Edward," she sighed, pushing back the strands that fell over his forehead. "Your hair hardly needs more of a reason to misbehave."

He swatted her hand away. "My hair is fine, _mom_."

I shifted in my seat a little. It seemed like innocent flirting, but there was an undercurrent of tension that seemed weird for a couple of comments about a haircut. Lauren turned to me and raised her eyebrows.

"So, you and Edward were childhood sweethearts," she said. "What a small world, that you both end up here, so far from Washington."

"Childhood sweethearts may be a bit strong a term," I said, blushing a bit. "I had a big crush on him, but it was silly. We were more like brother and sister than anything."

"You had a crush on me?" Edward laughed. "No way. Why? I did everything I could to annoy you."

"That was probably why," I replied. I smiled at Lauren, but she was looking at me with an oddly speculative look on her face. Like she was poking around in my head and deciding what I was all about. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

"You don't look like you just spent the last 15 years in Phoenix," she said suddenly. "How do you manage to stay so pale? I swear as soon as the summer rolls around I tan in under a week."

Edward laughed, but it sounded a little forced. "Bella always was white as a ghost. Do you want any wine, babe?"

"Thanks," she said, giving him a cursory nod and turning back to me. I was beginning to feel like the subject of an inquisition. Not attacked per se, but definitely uncomfortable.

"I'm afraid it's true. I never had much luck with tanning, even when I tried the tanning beds," I shrugged. Honestly, it was something that quite a few people had commented on once they found out where I was from. My pale complexion and dark hair threw them off.

"Why did you move to Chicago?"she asked.

"I got a job at the Trib, and I didn't have anything in particular tying me to Arizona. I decided to just go with it. I guess part of me felt like I had to do some big crazy move before I had a family and responsibilities."

"I know what you mean," Edward said. "It was one of the reasons I left the west coast for undergrad. I wanted something new and different. I think it's really brave of you to do it after college though, it must be hard to start your professional life somewhere completely new."

"It's not so bad," I smiled at him. Edward and Alice and the rest of the Cullens had actually made my transition much easier, but I felt weird just coming out and saying that. I tried to let my eyes communicate how I felt. I think he understood though, because he winked and smiled widely back.

"Have you always lived here, Lauren?" I asked.

"Born and raised," she said. "I went to Wisconsin for my undergrad, but I came back for law school."

"And now you're an assistant DA?"

"Yes, it's a lot of work, but it's rewarding." A generic ringing sound interrupted her and she looked almost relieved. "I'm sorry, that's my cell. It could be my boss, I have to take this."

She stood and left quickly, walking back towards the office. I let out a long breath.

"I think she likes you," Edward said as soon as Lauren was out of earshot. I turned to him slowly, my face twisted in disbelief.

"Are you serious? Are we in the same room right now?"

He smiled sympathetically. "She can come off a little distant, but she's just shy. It always takes a little while for her to warm up to people. I can tell she likes you."

I let it go. Call it a gut feeling, call it woman's intuition. Lauren didn't like me. Oddly enough I felt like she didn't hate me either. It was really weird, like I was on some kind of _This is Your Life _version of _The Twilight Zone_.

The rest of dinner passed quickly and quietly. When Lauren got back from her phone call she was smiling to herself, and she was much more pleasant. Maybe Edward was right and she just needed a little time to warm up.

"That was delicious, Edward," I said. I pushed back my plate and stretched, trying not to think about how much curry I had just eaten.

"Well don't get up yet. There's pie and ice cream," he said.

"Can you make a pot of decaf, honey?" Lauren asked.

"I'm on it," he said quickly, standing up and kissing the top of her head. He left the room and she turned back to me with a sweet smile on her face.

"While he's out of the room, I thought the two of us could have a little heart to heart," she said. I furrowed my eyebrows, at a total loss.

"Okay…" I said slowly.

"I know what's going on between you and Edward, and I'm not going to stop you," she said.

"What? Lauren, nothing is—"

"We're both women, here, Bella. Let's not play games. I'm not stupid. Besides he hasn't been as whiny and dependent the last few weeks he's been seeing you, so I'm actually grateful. Just don't think that he's ever going to leave me."

"Edward loves you, he would never—"

She sighed heavily, interrupting me again. "I really don't want to hear your excuses," she said. She rolled her eyes. "And I could care less if you keep seeing him. Just know that in the end, I'm the one he's coming home to."

I sat there flapping my mouth for a few seconds before Edward came in, cheerily balancing plates of pie and a pot of coffee on a small tray.

I got out of there as quickly as possible after dessert. As I drove home, I went over my conversation with Lauren again and again. There was really only one message she could have been sending, and she sent it loud and clear. She thought Edward and I were having an affair. And she was okay with it.

I called Alice immediately.

"Bella! Are you back from dinner with the beast? How did it go?"

"Ummmmm…"

"Oh God, how much of a disaster was it? Jasper, shhhh! Fine, I'll ask her," she sighed. I could hear laughter in the background.

"Jasper wants to know how many times she insulted you in front of Edward. He and Emmett had a _bet_ apparently." Her voice was dripping with irritation.

"She was actually quite civil," I sighed. "Never really insulted me, unless you count her remark about how pale I am, which is completely valid and true."

"She says none," Alice whispered. I hear a loud groan, presumably from Jasper.

"How badly did you guys think this dinner was going to go?" I asked.

"I told you it was going to be terrible, Bella. I meant it. Now come on, something had to have happened or you'd be much smugger than you are. Spill."

"Okay," I started. "I may be totally crazy, but I'm pretty sure Lauren thinks I'm sleeping with Edward."

There was a long pause, followed by hysterical laughter.

"What? Oh my God, that's awesome. She thinks _he's_ cheating on _her_?! With you?!" Alice's voice came out in little pants between giggles.

"That's not the worst part," I cut in before she could lose it any further. "She told me to go ahead and keep on doing it, but that Edward was never going to leave her. Can you even believe that?"

Now that I thought about it, I was really starting to get angry. I stood up for her, on multiple occasions. I comforted Edward every time she worked late or ditched him for her friends. He was miserable and barely holding on and she was giving me permission to sleep with him? What the hell was her deal?

"And what do you mean, _with you_?" I asked, suddenly even more annoyed. "Edward could do worse than me for his imaginary affair!"

Her laughter had slowed down some, but she let out a few more giggles at my outburst.

"You're right honey. I actually think that if anything, you're too good for him. If he were single though…" she paused thoughtfully.

"No, Alice, he's not single," I said forcefully. I refused to let my thoughts go down that train. Ever since Lauren had suggested it my mind had been going there of its own free will. Edward and I, together. Edward wouldn't stare creepily or ignore me when I spoke. He was sweet and attentive. And funny. And so pretty it hurt to look at him sometimes. And dating a woman who could apparently care less. _Never going to happen._ "He doesn't think of me like that anyway. I just called to tell you what happened. I'm exhausted, I need to go to bed."

Before she could say anything else, I hung up. I groaned loudly when I remembered that the week was far from over. I had family night with the Cullens tomorrow, and what would hopefully be my last blind date ever on Friday. After the night I just had, I really didn't feel like facing all the Cullens and pretending everything was normal for Edward.

Saturday couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I was actually planning on including quite a bit more in this chapter, but it got LONG. So you'll just have to wait for family night and Demetri. What do you think about Lauren now? And what will poor Bella do?! Leave me a review :) **


	8. Ante Up

I was edgy all day Thursday. Seth kept shooting me concerned looks and asking if I needed anything. After the fifth time, I snapped.

"I'm fine, Seth," I said harshly. "I didn't sleep well last night and it's been a rough couple of days. Just let it go."

He crossed his arms and frowned. "I'm sorry. I just don't like seeing you so out of it. Do you want to grab a beer after work, just the two of us? I'm a good listener."

"Rain check?" I sighed. "I'm getting together with some friends tonight, and I'm going to need to have my wits about me."

"What, are you staging an intervention?" he laughed. I rolled my eyes. I'm sure Emmett and Alice would agree to an intervention in a heartbeat.

"No, more serious than that," I replied. "Poker night."

I sent Alice an apologetic text and worked through lunch. I knew that the second we were alone she would start drilling me about Lauren and what I was going to tell Edward, and at the moment I had no idea.

On the one hand, shouldn't he know that his girlfriend suspected he was cheating on her and didn't care? It was a fairly big indication of guilt in my mind, or at the very least, of indifference. Either way, Edward deserved so much more than that.

On the other hand, he relied on me. He trusted me because I didn't have a problem with his girlfriend. What if I told him what happened and he didn't believe me? He'd go back to ignoring his family, and by extension me. If by keeping this to myself I let Edward keep his friend and confidant, couldn't I handle that?

Except that if I told him and he believed me, he wouldn't need a confidant.

_Oh what tangled webs we weave_…

Around and around I went in my head, trying to figure out some kind, gentle way to let Edward know that his girlfriend was a cold and indifferent crazy person. Too bad they don't make a Hallmark card for situations like these.

Just like I expected, when I met Alice at her car that evening, she was bouncing up and down with a look of complete glee on her face.

"So what did you tell Edward? You've been avoiding me all day," she pouted.

"I haven't said anything yet," I said before sliding into the passenger seat of Alice's yellow Volkswagen Bug.

"But you're _going to_, right?" she asked insistently.

"I don't know," I sighed. Alice pulled away from the curb and took off toward Edward's apartment.

"Seriously? You have to tell him. You can't keep something like this from him."

"Just give me some time, Alice. I have to think this through."

"Don't take too long," she warned, pulling up to Edward's building. He was already waiting out front, smiling ear to ear. He jumped into the backseat and threw his arms around the headrests of the front seats.

"How are my favorite girls?" he asked cheerily. "Ready to lose your shirts in a good game of poker?"

"We're not playing for money, don't be stupid," Alice said, rolling her eyes. She reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out a bulging plastic bag. "This is a leftover Halloween candy game, Ed. Be prepared for massive amounts of sugar and a good ass-kicking."

The ride to Emmett and Rosalie's house didn't take nearly as long with Alice driving as it did when I came alone. That could be because she knew where she was going. It could also be because Alice drives like a Nascar driver. When we pulled up to the house I felt like kissing the sidewalk and weeping in relief.

Alice pranced up to the front door with her bag of candy in hand, but Edward lagged back and offered me his arm.

"Someone probably should have warned you about the side effects of riding shotgun in Alice's car," he said sympathetically. "Has your life stopped flashing in front of your eyes yet?"

"Almost," I said shakily, letting go of him as soon as I felt steady. He chuckled and threw one arm over my shoulders, leading me up the walk to where Rosalie waited in the open doorway. It was a friendly gesture, but after yesterday my nerves were on high alert. My heart started pounding at his touch and my imagination went into overdrive. He looked down at me, concerned.

"Are you sure you're okay, Belly Bird? You look a little flushed."

"I'm fine," I said quickly. I ducked out from under his arm and followed the sounds of voices into the family room. A green poker table was set up in the middle, and a huge pile of candy covered the surface of a nearby coffee table. Jasper and Emmett were arguing about music next to the stereo while Avery watched curiously from his bouncer near the sofa.

"You can't play that frou-frou crap for a poker game," Emmett said. "I don't care how much you like Tim McGraw. My house, my rules. It's Jay-Z."

"I refuse to listen to hip-hop," Edward said from behind me. "Live out your secret gangsta dream on your own time." He walked over to where they stood and shuffled through the stack of CD's.

"This one," he said, popping it into the CD player before either of them could argue. Alien Ant Farm started blaring through the speakers. Jasper grinned and Emmett nodded reluctantly.

"You win this round, Eddie," Emmett muttered. Edward grabbed him and put him in a headlock. For a minute they scuffled, until Emmett overpowered him by sheer size and flipped Edward onto his back in the middle of the room. They collapsed, rolling around and laughing like children.

"What time is the babysitter getting here? Someone needs a timeout." Alice asked Rosalie when she came in. She stared balefully at her husband, still flat on his back on the rug.

"God, Ed, we haven't wrestled in a long time," Emmett said when he calmed down a bit, ignoring Rosalie's glare and punching Edward's shoulder. "Are you feeling okay?"

Edward was still grinning from ear to ear, chuckling a little bit as he straightened his shirt and attempted to flatten his unruly hair.

"Never better, Em. It's been a pretty awesome week," he said. "Oh! Bella, Lauren said she had a great time last night. She loved you, I told you so. We should do that again sometime soon." He smiled happily at me, oblivious to the fact that Emmett and Jasper were shooting me incredulous looks.

"Rosalie, do you guys have any Coke?" Edward asked. She nodded, and he hopped up and went to the kitchen for his soda.

"You didn't tell him?!" Emmett hissed at me, his smile completely gone.

"I didn't have the heart!" I whispered back. "What was I supposed to say? Hey Edward, you're girlfriend accused me of sleeping with you. Oh yeah, and she thinks it's great! That would have gone over really well."

Edward walked in then, so Emmett didn't have time to respond, but I could tell he wasn't happy. Edward caught the exchange of disgruntled glances.

"What did I miss?"

"Bella is going to slow us down," Jasper stepped in. "She doesn't know how to play poker. Em was just giving her crap."

"Yep, I'm totally clueless," I said immediately. I tried to keep a straight face. Actually, I'm a pretty good poker player, but I'm a shit liar. I was really looking forward to kicking some ass tonight, and now Jasper had me pretending to be a newbie? How boring.

"We can be on a team for a while, if you want," Edward offered. "I'm a good teacher." _Maybe not so boring after all_. I smiled gratefully and we sat next to each other as Alice dealt out the cards for five card stud and Emmett distributed our "chips."

"Tootsie rolls are one, the peanut butter taffies are five, Smarties are ten, and the candy bars are all worth fifty. Ante up!"

Playing with Edward was fun; he really was a good teacher. We seemed to be operating on the same wavelength, and after a few hands we amassed quite a sugar stash.

"Why did we let them play together again?" Jasper grumbled, compulsively straightening his small pile of smarties and taffies.

"Stop whining," Edward said, grinning. "Besides, I'm always Bella's teammate. That's tradition."

"He has a point," Alice agreed.

It seemed odd to think of it, but it was true. Whenever we had to split into teams as children, Emmett and Alice would face off against Edward and I. Usually it was for a sports related activity, meaning that little Alice would balance out Emmett's superior size and strength while Edward's quickness and agility made up for my inherent clumsiness. It translated into almost everything though: cops and robbers, capture the flag, any team sport really. We also paired up for video games and any card games where partners were involved. Despite his constant need to tease me, when we were on a team Edward was encouraging and supportive. He didn't get mad when my clumsiness cost us points. And he never complained when we lost.

"What do you think, Bella? Do we stay or up the stakes?" Edward's voice broke into my reverie. I looked up at him, and in my head he was asking a different question. Do we stay, do I just forget what Lauren said and all the implications, or do we up the stakes? Do I risk everything and tell him? His green eyes were so sincere and happy, so trusting.

"Stay," I sighed. Turns out I'm not a great gambler either.

After the game we sat around for a while, relaxing and talking. Alice complained about her supervisor at length, Emmett described some new piece of equipment they were saving up for at the garage, and Edward and Jasper shared funny stories about their students.

"We won't be able to do this next week," Alice said suddenly. "It's Thanksgiving! Wow, it doesn't seem like that should be right. This fall has gone so fast."

"Where are you spending Thanksgiving, Bells?" Emmett asked.

"Actually, I'm heading back to Forks this year. Renee is off somewhere with her husband Phil, and I haven't seen Charlie for over a year. I bought my ticket a few weeks ago."

"Awesome! Hey, you guys should come over to our house. Mom always makes a ton of food."

"Are you all coming home?" I asked casually, glancing sideways at Edward.

Edward cleared his throat. "I'm staying here. Lauren's parents are having a big dinner on Friday and she doesn't want to miss it. They have a lot of connections and there'll be a lot of big names there. It'll be a good chance for her to network."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Does she ever stop working? Thanksgiving isn't about networking. It's about spending time with the people you love."

Edward's eyes flashed, and before he could come back with an angry retort I jumped in. "Where's your family Rosalie? Are you from Chicago?"

"No, actually I'm from Seattle. Emmett and I joke about how we probably saw each other all the time in high school and never met until we both moved here. He was a football player in the same division as my school, and I cheered every season."

"What about you, Jasper?" He smiled and leaned into Alice a little.

"I'm from Texas originally. Alice and I are planning on spending some extra time in Galveston over Christmas break to make up for me skipping out on Thanksgiving this year. I get a few days before Christmas off and Alice is going to take some vacation time."

"Some _much needed_ vacation time," Alice sighed. She started chattering about how excited she was to meet Jasper's brother Peter and his wife Charlotte, and all the historical landmarks Jasper wanted to show her.

I could tell Edward had checked out of the conversation. He was sitting next to me staring over Alice's shoulder and nodding at all the appropriate moments, but his eyebrows were furrowed and he was chewing on the inside of his cheek. I reached over and grabbed his hand, which was clenched at his side. He looked up at me in surprise, a slight smile on his lips. I rubbed a few circles on the back of his hand and it slowly unclenched. He exhaled noisily and stopped chewing his cheek. He gave me a quick nod and crooked grin, so I let go.

For a second, I was sad that I wasn't touching him, even in such a small way. Then I reminded myself that that was crazy. Under no circumstances could I allow myself to think about all the ways that touching Edward Cullen would make me very happy. I was still scolding myself when Edward shifted in his seat and his arm casually brushed against mine. I shivered.

_Okay, seriously Bella? His arm touches you and you lose it? _What happened in the last couple of days that made being around him so tortuous? We had been spending time together for more than a month. I could have sworn it was completely platonic for both of us, and now he had me flustered and undone with an accidental arm brush? This was bad. Very, very bad.

"Earth to Bella," Emmett said, seemingly out of the blue. He was waving his hand in front of my face and grinning. Everyone was looking at me. Alice and Edward looked concerned, but Rosalie had a knowing smirk on her face that I didn't like one bit. Oh God, did she know? She winked. _She knew._ I blushed and turned back to Emmett.

"Umm… what?"

"We're going to head out if that's okay," Alice said. "Are you feeling okay? You don't look so good."

"I probably just need to lie down," I said quickly. "Edward, would you mind riding shotgun? I don't think my nerves could take it."

We said goodbye shortly after that. Edward and I walked out to Alice's car together while she lingered a little at the door to say goodbye to Jasper. Edward slid into the front seat, and I threw myself into the back of the tiny car gratefully. I just needed to clear my head. Unfortunately, the reason I needed to clear it was staring at me worriedly from the front seat.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella?" he asked. I sighed heavily and opened my eyes, intending to say something sarcastic, but his earnest green eyes stopped my words.

"I'm fine," I mumbled instead, snapping my eyes shut again to block him out.

Perhaps sensing my discomfort, Edward cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So another blind date tomorrow night, huh? What's this, number four?"

"Now why did you have to bring that up, we were having such a nice evening," I said. He chuckled lightly and I peered out at him through my eyelashes. He was still staring at me over the headrest of his seat, now grinning cheerily.

"You'll call me and tell me all about it?" he prompted. I opened my eyes a little wider and he pouted.

"Of course," I sighed. Just for good measure, I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed again and turned to face the front where Alice was climbing into the driver's seat.

I spent the drive back to the city pretending to doze, listening the gentle murmurs of conversation between Alice and Edward. It made me happy, knowing that Edward had his family back, and they had him. I was a part of what gave that back to them.

Somewhere along the way I actually fell asleep, and then Edward was shaking me awake.

"Goodnight, Bella. Call me tomorrow," he whispered. I nodded sleepily and he chuckled and closed the door softly. When we pulled up to my building Alice reached back and grabbed my hand.

"You know that I just want you to be happy, right?" she said seriously. I stared at her for a second. She seemed to be waiting for some kind of response.

"Okay, sure?" I said. It came out more as a question than anything, and she let out a gust of air before speaking again.

"I'm saying that I know that you're annoyed about the dates. Edward may have mentioned something." She grimaced a little. "But you have so much to offer, Bella, and I set you up with those guys because I want you to be happy. And it's not working, so I'm going to put my inner control freak back in her cage and let you meet men on your own. Even if it kills me."

I laughed at her then, I couldn't help it. She looked so dejected, like I broke her favorite toy.

"Thank you, Yenta. That means a lot. And I appreciate the sentiment, so much so that I'm still going to go out with this Demetri character. Even if it kills me."

"Try to have fun, please? Just give him a chance."

"I will."

*****

He was ten minutes late. And I was starving. Luckily, Alice had arranged for us to meet for an early dinner, so I wasn't quite ready to start eating my own hand. I sighed and stared at the drink menu. Someone cleared their throat, and I looked up.

"Sorry I'm late, traffic was pretty terrible," the man said. He was tall and broad, built like Emmett, with the same disarming smile and adorable dimples. So far so good. He slid into the booth next to me, instead of sitting across from me like I expected. I shifted over to give him more space, but he just moved a little closer. Before I knew it I was pinned against the wall. Awkward, but he wasn't threatening about it, so I let it slide. Maybe he was just really, really friendly.

He smiled again and offered me his hand. "I'm Demetri."

I gripped his hand firmly. "Bella." He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

"It's a pleasure," he said. "That's quite a firm handshake you have there, Bella. I like strong women." He wiggled his eyebrows a little and squeezed my hand again before releasing it. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.

"So, what's good here?" he asked, reaching for the menus at the same time as I did. Our hands brushed, and he let his fingers linger a little before he grabbed one and opened it with a little snap.

Dinner was full of similar gestures: he let his hand slide onto my thigh while exaggeratingly smoothing out his napkin on his lap; he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear; he even tried to wipe a smudge of pasta sauce off the side of my mouth. By the end of dinner the constant touching was getting on my nerves. It was clear he had high hopes for how our evening was going to end. I wasn't optimistic about his chances.

He insisted we order dessert. "Chocolate is an aphrodisiac you know," he whispered in my ear. I didn't bother trying to hold in my irritation. I rolled my eyes at him and huffed a little, hoping he got the hint that this wasn't earning him any points.

He ordered a slice of double fudge cherry cheesecake for us to share. While we waited, his hand crept up my back and started rubbing my neck. Then he leaned over and blew on me. _What the hell?_

That was the last straw. I shrugged out of his grasp and narrowed my eyes, giving him a stern look. "Look, Demetri, I don't think this is going to work out between us. I'm not really feeling the connection. I'm sorry, I had a good time, but maybe we should just call it a night after the cheesecake." There. That wasn't so hard; straight-forward, honest, and polite.

He shrugged, completely unfazed. "Whatever, I get it. You want to come back to my place anyway? Just because we're not gonna get married doesn't mean we can't have a little fun tonight, right?" He reached around me again and ran his hand up and down my arm lightly.

I blinked. Then I got mad. Incredible Hulk mad. I may have turned green.

"What is the matter with you? Are you incapable of reading social cues? 'I'm not interested' means _I'm not interested_. No, I don't want to sleep with you!"

He dropped his arm and scooted a little further away from me, his eyes growing wider with every word I spoke. Something in me had snapped though, and I wasn't about to let him go without making it perfectly clear exactly what I thought of him and the rest of his stupid gender.

"And for the record, I don't care how awesome you think you are. I don't need to know about how many girls wanted you in college, or what an incredible racquetball player you are."

"I don't play racquetball," he stammered. I ignored him.

"You're all the same," I ranted. I was crossing into crazy jilted girl territory, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "All you care about is instant gratification and talking yourselves up! Do you even care what I'm interested in? What I have to say? What about what I want?!"

"I—I care," he whispered, still scooting away from me. He was practically hanging off the bench.

"Sure you do," I snorted. "That's why when I told you I was ready to call it a night you groped me asked me back to your place."

"Alice didn't tell me you were batshit crazy," he mumbled, taking a drink of water. Okay, I may have deserved that, but he didn't know the kind of blind date hell I had been living in. I opened my mouth to speak, but our waitress interrupted with the cheesecake and our bill. She left quickly, picking up on the tension between us.

"Yeah, well, Alice didn't tell me you were a pig with no sense of personal boundaries, so it looks like we were both disappointed," I said. He stood up and moved to the other side of the booth, eyeing me warily.

"Do you want some cheesecake?" he asked hesitantly. I glared a little.

"No," I said. We split the bill and I left before he finished his dessert.

Oddly enough, as soon as I got home I wanted, no I needed, ice cream. Chocolate ice cream. With brownies. I texted Alice to let her know that on no uncertain terms was she ever to set me up again, and then I called Edward. I was rummaging through my freezer for the pint of fro-yo that I knew was stuck back there when he answered.

"Belly Bird! Was it love at first sight?" His voice was low, but he was just upbeat enough to annoy me. My last nerve snapped, and I let him have it.

"Love at first sight? Hm, let's see," I said, pouring the sarcasm into my tone. "Well, he touched me inappropriately at every opportunity and then when I told him I wasn't interested he propositioned me."

There was a long silence, all I could hear was Edward's quiet breathing. When he spoke again, his voice was low and menacing.

"Did he hurt you? I swear to God I will tear that bastard limb from—"

"He didn't hurt me, Edward," I interrupted him before he could get too worked up. "He just ruined foreplay and men for me for a while."

I finally found the frozen yogurt, but it was a disappointing strawberry banana flavor, and all that was left was a couple of tiny bites.

"And I don't have any ice cream! Man, I can't catch a break," I moaned, sliding to the floor and leaning my head back against my fridge. "Edward, because right now you are acting, not as my friend, but as a representative of mankind, I have to tell you this. Men really really really suck. Not just a little. A whole lot. I think there is a conspiracy or something."

"Well, in our defense, women are crazy," he replied. I could hear a hint of a smile in his voice, but he still sounded a little upset. Defeated, almost.

"So I've heard," I said dryly. "Although my date tonight eloquently called me 'batshit.'" I started chuckling a little. Then laughing. Then I couldn't stop. The whole situation was beyond ridiculous. I was done. No more. Boycotting Mankind begins tonight.

"I'm sorry Bella, I have something I need to take care of," Edward said abruptly. I stopped laughing and sighed.

"Fine, abandon me," I said melodramatically.

"I'll talk to you later," he said. He hung up before I could respond. Weird. I plopped myself down on my couch and flipped through the channels, not really processing what was playing. Twenty minutes later there was a sharp knock at my door.

I looked at the clock. It was a little late for visitors, and I knew for a fact that Alice was on a date with Jasper tonight. I peered through the peephole and gasped.

There was Edward, in flannel pajama pants and a faded army green sweatshirt. His hair was sticking up in all directions and he wore his glasses, which gave him a deliciously mussed up look, like he had just rolled out of bed. He was holding a pint of ice cream in his hand. He knocked again.

"Bells? I'm here as a representative of mankind. I may get banned from the clubhouse for telling you this, but there is no conspiracy. We don't hate you. We think you're pretty awesome."

I bit back a giggle and kept watching him through my door. He shifted from foot to foot and then knocked again. "I have ice cream?" he called.

I opened the door, grinning. "Well, why didn't you say so?"

He smiled back at me and stepped into my apartment, taking in his surroundings as he did so.

"You should know that I'm boycotting all men starting tonight, so this is an unsanctioned visit," I told him. He laughed and walked past me, sitting down on the couch I had just vacated.

"Can you grab a couple of spoons? Ice cream isn't exactly a finger food."

I darted into the kitchen and rummaged for spoons, trying to figure out why Edward would be here, of all places, on a Friday night. When I returned he was sprawled over half the couch, his long legs dangling over the side and his arms spread-eagle over the top. I sat down next to him and offered a spoon, grabbing the ice cream from his hand and cracking open the top.

"Chocolate ice cream and brownies. You are a godsend. How did you know that's exactly what I wanted?"

"Lucky guess," he said, smiling as he watched me dig into the pint. "Don't dig out all the brownie pieces. I'm an acting ambassador, sharing the goods is pretty much my only perk."

I sighed and half-offered him the container, still rooting out a particularly large chunk of chocolate near the top. "So, to what do I owe your visit, Edward?" His face fell slightly. "Not that seeing you isn't great," I quickly added.

"You sounded like you were in the same state of mind as I am right now, honestly. And I know that I needed some company. I just kind of left, picked up the ice cream on the way, and showed up. I hope that's okay." He looked a little uncomfortable, and I couldn't tell if the red on his cheeks were from the cold November wind or embarrassment.

"Did something happen with Lauren?" I asked. I ignored the tiny voice that was screaming at me to avoid the issue. This was my chance. I would just tell him and get it over with.

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes, running both of his hands through his hair. "We had another fight. She blew off plans with me again tonight. I don't know how long I can handle this."

I didn't say anything, just handed him the ice cream and let him talk.

"She does this all the time, and then when I get mad she cries and begs and I just… it didn't used to be like this," he sighed. "We used to be so happy. Even when Emmett and Alice met her and obviously didn't like her, we were happy. She was supportive and fun. She made time for me. It was everything I wanted. Screw them if they can't stand to see me happy, right? So I pulled away, because it was easier. I rearranged. I compromised."

He took another big bite of ice cream and handed it back to me. I got the feeling he never talked about this, not to anyone. Well, who would he talk to, really? There wasn't anyone. I got mad at Lauren all over again. He looked over at me, and I was momentarily overwhelmed by the depth of emotion in his eyes. He was hurt, and confused, and he was reaching out. This was the perfect time for my declaration.

I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to see that hurt go deeper.

"I love her, despite all the bullshit lately. And I can't just quit. I've worked too hard, I can't…" he trailed off, closing his eyes and leaning back into the couch. Was that why Lauren was so sure he wouldn't leave her? It made sense in a twisted logic sort of way. Edward Cullen was no quitter. He was the most stubborn person I knew in a lot of ways. It wasn't a reason to stay in a relationship if you were normal, but Edward was anything but normal. I bit back my sigh of frustration. Time for diversionary tactics.

"Do you want me to tell you about my disastrous blind date?" I asked lightly. He smiled a little and nodded without opening his eyes.

"No personal boundaries," I sighed. "The man could not keep his hands to himself. And he wasn't charming enough to pull it off." _Unlike you_, I thought to myself. Edward's arms were still draped over the top of the couch, and his fingers were absent-mindedly playing with my ponytail. I don't know that he was even aware of it.

"I'm surprised he didn't do the yawn and stretch, that's how obvious this guy was." Edward chuckled softly and finally looked at me.

"I don't blame him, Bella. Even though I still kind of want to beat him up for treating you like an object. You're beautiful, and smart. You're a catch. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

My breath caught in my throat. _Not single, not single_, I chanted in my head.

"Well, like I said, tonight starts the Boycott All Men project. BAM for short," I said lightly. He laughed again and tugged on my ponytail. He _did_ know he was doing it.

"I hope I'm the exception," he said playfully. When I pretended to think about it, he started tickling me. I flailed wildly, trying to avoid hitting him while squirming away.

"No fair! No fair!" I squealed, finally twisting out of his hands and jumping up to run across the room. I held my spoon in front of me like a sword.

"You're still ticklish right between your shoulder blades," he laughed. He picked up the ice cream and took another big bite. "You can stay over there if you want, Swan, but then I'm going to eat this ice cream all by myself. Spoils of war, you know."

I glared at him for a second before I stomped back over. "Just for that, you're not an exception. In fact, from now on, I expect a tribute of ice cream or a similar treat every time you see me in exchange for tolerating your presence."

"You wound me," he said, placing a hand over his heart and pulling a silly face. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

"Actually, yes. I'm meeting with a co-worker's girlfriend for lunch and shopping. My wardrobe is sadly in need of sweaters and winter gear."

"Why wouldn't you just ask Alice?" he asked. "She'd kill to take you shopping."

"Oh no," I said firmly. "I've heard her talk about shopping. She'd kill me. Death by credit card, somewhere between the shoe department and accessories. Besides, I need to branch out and expand my social circle. I've been here for a couple of months, it's time."

He shrugged and stretched. "Well, that sounds like fun then. We should hang out next week before you leave for Washington. I better head home, deal with the aftermath." He rolled his eyes a little and stood up. I walked him to the door, where he hugged me gently.

"Thanks for listening Bella. I'll talk to you soon."

I nodded and watched him go, ambling down my hallway with a slight bounce in his step that hadn't been there when he arrived. I had passed up another excellent opportunity to spill about Lauren. Maybe I'm a masochist; that would fit. I closed the door, flipped the deadlock, and ate every last bite of the ice cream Edward brought.

* * *

**A/N: A bunch of you have asked so here it is--the plan is to update Saturday mornings. I'm early this week because I'm going out of town. **

**Come visit my thread on twilighted! I can't get the link to save in this document, anyone know how that works? In the meantime you can search for justaskalice or "Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry" in the AU-All Human fanfic forum.**

**Am I the only one who thinks Edward was crossing some lines in this chap? Hmmmm....**


	9. Girls and Boys

Kate was a godsend. I could tell why Garrett was so in love with her: she was witty and easy going, and she said exactly what was on her mind. In a lot of ways she reminded me of Alice, but she had a sharp practicality about her that ethereal little Alice could never achieve. After we ate lunch, Kate had started us on a tour of her favorite stores. I had already accumulated a small stash of sweaters, long sleeved shirts, and slacks.

"Ew, gross. Put that down right now and walk away slowly," she said, staring at the blouse in my hands in revulsion. I admit, it wasn't really my type of shirt, but it looked harmless enough. Nothing about it evoked the kind of horror Kate was radiating.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked.

"It'll make you look like a linebacker. I made the mistake of buying that cut once, and I swear my shoulders looked bigger than Garrett's."

I sighed and hung the shirt back up. We had similar builds, and so far Kate had not been wrong about what would and would not look good on me. If I could save myself a trip to the fitting room, so much the better.

"So, Garrett said the guys were giving you a hard time. How's that going?" She was shifting through a pile of sweaters marked "Clearance."

I shrugged in a non-committal way. I didn't know how much I could let on about work, seeing as Kate was dating one of my coworkers. She smirked at me.

"Oh, please. I've been to the office parties. I know the guys you're dealing with. James and his little posse…Will and what's-his-face."

"Joel," I said automatically, reaching past her for a bright blue sweater that caught my eye.

"Right, Joel." She rolled her eyes. "And I know my boyfriend loves him, but Jeremy's kind of a chauvinist too. If it wasn't for Seth I'd be afraid of those guys rubbing off on Garrett. It can't be easy for you to be thrown into the middle of that group—a young, smart, beautiful woman with a strong personality."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "I'm hardly what you just described."

"Stop avoiding the question," she laughed. When I still didn't answer, her face softened a little. "I won't say anything to Garrett. I promise. And hey, maybe I can help. I work with a lot of men, most of whom think they're better than me." Kate was a RN in the ER at a hospital in South Chicago. She had only described her job in vague terms over lunch, but I was in awe of everything she handled on a day to day basis. Gunshot wounds, mugging victims, heart attacks, car accidents: she took everything in stride, including hospital politics. Maybe she _could _help.

"I feel like I'm making some headway, but not enough," I conceded. She smiled encouragingly. "Seth is really great, he's so helpful all the time, but that's almost worse. Sometimes I feel like he's trying to take care of me because he thinks I can't handle it. And since he's being so nice about it, I can hardly be mad at him."

She laughed. "It sounds like Seth is smitten with you. From what Garrett has told me, he's usually kind of self-contained at the office. Why don't you just ask him to back off?"

"I'm afraid of hurting his feelings," I admitted. "And he's still my only real ally in the office. Garrett has started to open up to me, and I'm so grateful that he gave you my number, but we don't know each other that well yet. And the rest of the office is waiting for me to make some monumental mistake. No matter how many things I do right, I know that as soon as I screw up I'll never recover."

"First of all, that is a defeatist attitude," she said bluntly. "Even if that's true, and I'm pretty sure it's not, if you go into every day waiting for the other shoe to drop you'll never accomplish anything. That being said, screw the fuckers. They're waiting for you to fail? Then be the best."

"Oh sure," I sighed. "No problems there. Just be the best at my first job out of college surrounded by assholes who all have way more experience than me."

"Exactly, glad you understand." She laughed and tossed a dress at me. "Try that on, just for fun."

I held it out in front of me. It was purple and short. The back was cut away in a daring v, while the front cut straight across where my collarbone would be. A bouncy bow tied off a sash on one side.

"I draw the line at bows," I said firmly, trying to hand it back.

"No, you have to try it on," she insisted. "If you still hate it, then you can put it right back where we found it." She dragged me to the nearest dressing room and shoved me into an empty stall.

I was pleasantly surprised. The dress made my normally unflatteringly skinny figure look slim and graceful. It was shorter than anything I had ever worn, but not scandalously so.

"Okay, I admit it. This looks hot," I said, stepping out into the dressing room and doing a slow twirl for Kate. She clapped her hands and cheered.

"You have to buy that. You are woman, hear you roar and all that."

"Where would I wear it though?" I sighed. "It's a lot of money to blow on something that'll sit in my closet for months."

"You're young and single," she reminded me, tugging on the skirt a little bit and appraising me in the mirror.

"BAM, remember? No more dates until I can erase the memory of my last few disastrous encounters." I had filled her in on the boycott, but she thought it was foolish. Kate was much more of a get back on the horse type of girl.

"Think of it as a positive investment," she wheedled. "It looks so good on you, I'm sure you can find somewhere to wear it."

I relented and we checked out. The sales lady gushed about the dress, but I figured that was her job. I rolled my eyes at Kate, but she just grinned and nudged me with her shoulder. I was overloaded with shopping bags, so I decided to call it a day.

"This was a lot of fun," I told her as we neared our cars.

"It was!" she agreed. "I know you said you'll be out of town for Thanksgiving, but when you get back you should come out with my friends and I. We'll cut loose and show you the nightlife…maybe prove to you why your whole 'BAM' plan is ridiculous."

"I'll agree to the nightlife, but I'm sticking to my boycott," I said firmly. "Thanks for taking me shopping, I really appreciate it. Call me whenever you guys are going out, I could use a girl's night."

When I got back to my apartment, I was hit by a wave of sudden loneliness. Most of the time I love living alone, but sometimes I just need people around. I tried to busy myself by folding and hanging the clothes I just bought, and then I started cleaning. I even resorted to scrubbing my kitchen floor. By the time every surface in my kitchen was gleaming, I had killed two hours and it was dinner time. My stomach grumbled a bit, so I grabbed a granola bar and stared into my fridge, trying to decide what to eat.

"Screw it," I muttered after countless minutes of blank staring. I picked up my cell phone and called Alice, praying that she wasn't on a date with Jasper or something.

Twenty minutes later we were sitting in a hole in the wall pizza parlor not far from my apartment, stuffing our faces with greasy, deliciously cheesy Chicago-style pizza.

"Oh my God," I moaned, taking another huge bite of pizza. "Where has this place been all my life? I think I've found a replacement for sex and chocolate."

"I know, right?" Alice agreed. "Although I'm going to have to call your bluff on the sex thing. You clearly have not had mind-blowing sex, or you wouldn't replace it so easily, even with the best pizza in Chicago."

I rolled my eyes. "I've had plenty of great sex. I'm just being realistic. I can get this pizza all the time. Sex—not so much."

"Another reason why you should stop being so ridiculous and just give in to a couple more blind dates. There are almost three million people in Chicago, I'm sure the man of your dreams is out there!"

"No, Alice," I said firmly. "No more blind dates, ever. I mean it. I'll find someone eventually, and if not then I'll live vicariously through my friends. Being a cat lady won't be so bad. At least I'll always have company."

"You hate cats," Alice said. "And you are hardly the maiden aunt type." She sighed heavily and looked at me with a calculating look in her eyes. "You know, I haven't had anyone resist my matchmaking this hard since Edward was single."

My heart skipped a bit at the mention of his name. My physical reactions to Edward seemed to be increasing exponentially with time. Stupid heart. Stupid hormones. I was trying to convince myself that it was all in reaction to Edward's good looks, but I knew deep down that was a lie. He was everything I was looking for: smart, witty, emotionally available. His family already loved me, for crying out loud. Not like Lauren. I wrinkled my nose and grimaced as my thoughts led me back to Edward's crazy girlfriend. Inevitably, any daydream or thought I had involving Edward led back to _her_.

Alice, probably thinking my face was because of what she said, shook her head and kept talking. "No, seriously, Bella. You two have a ton in common… except Edward never actually let me set him up. He's a hopeless romantic, always claimed that he would 'just know' when the right girl came along. Clearly his instincts are faulty."

"Let's not talk about your brother, okay?" I asked. I sounded a little desperate, and Alice picked up on it.

"Why, are you two in a fight or something? Am I going to have to kick his ass? I will." She scowled, and I totally believed her. Her face was a little terrifying. I found myself reconsidering whether or not Alice could hold her own with Kate. The two were even more alike than I thought.

"No, Alice, nothing like that," I assured her, mentally begging her to drop it.

"Did you tell him about Lauren yet?" she persisted.

"No, and I don't think I'm going to," I replied. She choked a little on her pizza, and before she could respond I continued. "Listen, all I ever hear from him is how much he loves her and how hard he's working to make things work. He needs to figure things out on his own. You know your brother; he's a stubborn asshole when he thinks he's right. Obviously something is going on with Lauren, and she's going to mess up sooner or later. When she does, Edward can make his own decisions. He won't believe it until he finds out first hand."

"That could take forever! And what if she doesn't screw up?" Alice whined. She pouted for a second and then her face brightened, like a light bulb went on over her head. "I have a brilliant plan."

I didn't trust the look on her face, so I just lifted an eyebrow and waited.

"Well, what if you went along with Lauren's suggestion?" she said innocently. My jaw dropped. "You two already spend a bunch of time talking and hanging out. What if you start showing him everything he's missing with Lauren?"

When I still didn't answer, she tried a different tack. "Come on, he's easy on the eyes and he's a great guy. Don't you think he's attractive?"

I finally found my voice. "Alice, no. That's wrong on so many levels. Of course Edward is attractive… but he's dating Lauren. Just because you apparently have no scruples doesn't mean I don't. Besides, the time Edward and I spend together is completely innocent." In my mind I replayed the way Edward's fingers twirled my hair and the feel of his hands tickling my back. I flushed a little. The memory suddenly seemed charged and flirtatious. _Wrong, wrong, wrong!_

"Don't get your panties in a twist, it was just a suggestion," she said, sighing heavily and giving me a wistful look. "If he ever gets rid of the harpy, though… I'm totally hooking you two up."

"If he ever gets rid of the harpy, I won't say no," I muttered under my breath, too quietly for Alice to hear. There really wasn't any use denying it. Edward was the only guy who could make me consider giving up on the boycott so soon, despite the fact that he was clearly not interested.

I was actually a little grateful he wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving. I needed to give myself some time and space away from him. I never got this wound up about a guy, even when I was in an actual relationship. When I broke up with my long term boyfriend from undergrad I cried for a couple of days and then just kind of got over it. I missed his friendship and the sex, but I wasn't completely heartbroken. There wasn't anything that I got from him that my vibrator and my girlfriends couldn't supply.

With Edward, things were different. We weren't dating, hell we had only been friends (well, adult friends anyway) for a couple of months. Even so, I found myself missing his company when I didn't see him for a couple of days. My heart beat faster when he was near, and lately a warm, pleasant sort of tingle hit my stomach when he touched me. I couldn't explain it, and I didn't like it. I would never admit it out loud, but one of the biggest reasons I said yes to blind date number four was because I was hoping Demetri could take my mind off Edward.

Reminding myself that all the circular thinking was bad for my mental health, I quickly changed the subject and spent the next hour enjoying my greasy pizza and chatting about the rest of the Cullen family. Avery had never been on a plane before, and Emmett was feverishly researching ways to keep him happy and earache free. Rosalie was completely calm about the whole thing, but apparently Emmett was a bit of a worrier. Alice kept me laughing by describing various freak outs he had had since Avery was born that summer.

I spent all day Sunday in my pajamas, watching movies and drinking hot chocolate. It was dark and windy, and all the forecasters were predicting freezing rain, so I decided to stay in and have a lazy Sunday. I was on my fourth movie that afternoon when my cell phone rang.

Edward's name lit up my display and I smiled a little before answering.

"Hey stranger, what's up?"

"Hey Bella! I'm glad I caught you, I hope I'm not interrupting anything." He laughed nervously.

"Um, nope just Patrick Swayze's stirring performance in _Ghost_. Nothing I haven't seen. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I just talked to a friend of mine who teaches choir at my school. She has a couple of extra tickets to that musical that just opened downtown… something about a bunch of kids in a spelling bee?"

"Oh yeah! I want to see it, I've heard it's really funny," I said, not sure where he was going with this.

"Yeah. Anyway, she says that I can have them if I want." He laughed again and cleared his throat. "I know it's been a rough couple of weeks for you, with work and Alice's set-ups and listening to me complain… and I thought maybe you'd like to come with me. A night out, just as kind of a thank you."

"When are the tickets for?" I asked, scrambling for time. _Shit._ I really did want to see that show, but I wasn't sure that spending more time alone with Edward was a good idea. Why torture myself unnecessarily?

"Tuesday night," he said. "I figured we could grab a quick dinner first, then head to the show?"

Dinner and a show? Seriously, did he not see how this was a date? Was he _trying_ to make me crazy?

"Um… did you ask Lauren if this was okay? I mean, you guys don't see each other that often. I would feel bad if you missed an opportunity to hang with her. Why don't you see if she wants to go?"

"She has a meeting that's going to run until right before curtain," he said. "Besides, she's not really into theater. What's the matter, I thought you wanted to see it?" His tone had shifted, a hint of confusion creeping in.

I sighed quietly. I had to tread lightly here. Was it better to shut him down completely or act like nothing has changed? He'd notice if I started acting weird. He'd bug me until I cracked. At which point I would probably blurt out all the crazy hormonal stuff that had been running through my head over the last week and ruin our friendship forever. _Shit_.

Act normal it is.

"That sounds fun, Edward," I agreed cheerily.

*****

All the clothes I purchased on Saturday were strewn on the various surfaces around my bedroom.

"Why don't I have anything to wear?" I moaned loudly to my empty apartment on Tuesday night. Edward was going to be here any minute and I was still standing in my underwear. I was obsessing and I knew it. This was a pity date. I should pretend like I'm going out for a beer with Seth. Yeah. Right.

Nothing looked right. This was too dressy, this was too revealing, this was too stuffy. Finally I gave up and tossed on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a boat neck green shirt. Good enough.

I twisted my hair into a bun and dabbed on a light coat of makeup. I was putting the finishing touches on my mascara when there was a brisk knock on my door.

"Coming!" I called, grabbing my purse off the table and struggling to get into my boots. It had rained during the day, and there was a fine sheen of ice on all the streets and sidewalks. Another knock sounded, harder this time.

"I said I'm _coming_," I huffed, yanking the door open and hopping up and down on one foot.

Edward stood outside my door with an obnoxious smirk on his face, clearly trying not to laugh at how ridiculous I looked. I stopped hopping and leaned against the door jamb to shove my foot the rest of the way into my boot.

"Got something to say, Cullen?" He chuckled lightly and looked me over. His eyes brightened and he smiled more widely.

"We match." He unbuttoned his coat and I saw that he was indeed wearing a green button down with his dark jeans. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my coat off the hook near the door.

"I'm sorry, Sally, do I need to go change? I wouldn't want you to feel like I was upstaging you by being too matchy-matchy."

"Sally?" he scoffed. "That's hardly creative. I think I'm more of a Diana, personally."

"Okay, Di, whatever you say." He nudged me playfully as we crossed the sidewalk to his car and my heel skidded across the ice. Before I could do more than flail my arms wildly, Edward's arm was hooked securely around my waist. His other hand steadied my shoulder.

"God, Bells, we should get you blinking hazard signals," he laughed, opening the passenger door for me. I glared at him and slid into the car, slamming the door shut behind myself.

"What's for dinner?" I asked once he had started the car and taken off down the street.

"I thought we could grab burgers and a drink at a pub, how does that sound?"

"So good," I said. "I've been dreaming of a burger since last week."

"Good answer," he laughed, parking on a corner across the street from a blinking green neon sign that said _Brennan's._ "I love this place. It's a bit loud, but once you get over that the food is killer and they have some really good beer on tap."

When we walked into the crowded pub, Edward made a beeline for a small table near the bar. A pretty woman with dirty blonde hair smiled at him from behind the bar. She walked over and leaned on our table.

"Edward! We haven't seen you around in a month. I was telling Ben the other day that we were going to have to send out a search party!"

"It's good to see you too, Angela," Edward said. He grinned and patted her shoulder. "Angela, this is my good friend Bella. Bella, this is Angela. We went to Notre Dame together."

Angela shook my hand enthusiastically. "The difference being that Edward is a big success and I'm still 'finding myself' and working as a bartender." He rolled his eyes and shoved a stool in her direction, which she took.

We chatted for a few minutes, and Angela decided to take her break after filling our drink orders.

"So, Bella… how long have you and Edward been, um, _friends_?" she asked. I snorted into my beer a little bit and looked up at her. How embarrassing, even people totally removed from the situation thought we were together.

"Bella's an old friend from Washington," Edward answered, blithely unaware of the implications in Angela's question. "She just moved to the city and we reconnected."

"And this happened, what, a month ago?"

"Uh, yeah about. Why?" Our server arrived with our meals and she grinned and swiped one of his fries.

"No reason. I have to get back to work. Bella, it was wonderful meeting you. Edward, bring her back, she's a keeper. Don't be a stranger!"

After she left, Edward looked at me in confusion for a second and chewed thoughtfully on a fry.

"Sorry, she's not usually so cryptic. I come here a lot when Lauren's working late, but I've been kind of busy lately. Well, busier," he glanced up at me and smiled his crooked smile.

_Isabella Swan, don't you _dare_ swoon._ He winked. _Swoon._ Damn it. Even my own damn subconscious is smitten. It would probably help if he stopped flirting with me, but let's be honest—I didn't want him to stop. I was enjoying it way too much.

Dinner passed quickly. We talked, and when we weren't talking the quiet was comfortable and easy. I couldn't help but compare this not-a-date with all my recent experiences. I tried not to. Lord, I tried. But at every turn, it was like Edward determined to show me exactly what I deserved.

I harbored no delusions that Edward and I would ever be together. It wasn't that I thought he was too good for me, or that I didn't feel worthy. I knew we would be perfect. It would be effortless to be with him. The problem simply didn't lie with me.

Edward was broken. He was starved for attention and messed up and hurting. He was clinging to a relationship that made him unhappy because of some mixed up feeling of commitment and fear of failure. And while I was capable of dealing with that as his friend, I knew he would need to put himself together again after things fell through, as they inevitably would, with Lauren. It would be a lengthy process, and he wouldn't need me hanging around, head over heels for him, while he sorted that out.

"Crap!" Edward's sharp exclamation interrupted my musings. "I forgot the tickets at home. We'll have to run back to the apartment quick. Is that okay?"

"No problem, the doors won't open for another half hour anyway." I shrugged and tossed a twenty on the table for my half of the bill.

"Your money is no good here, Swan," he said firmly, throwing my money back at me and tucking his credit card into the billfold. "This is a thank you. You don't pay for thank you presents. You take them and shut up."

I rolled my eyes and shoved the bill back in my wallet. "I'm only letting you get away with this because you still owed me a tribute for tolerating your presence tonight. I suppose dinner will do."

"Good," he said. He glanced at me, amusement and cockiness glinting out of his green eyes.

When we got back to his building, he swung into an empty space and turned to me. "You want to come up with me? I'm not exactly sure where I left the tickets; it could take me a few minutes to find them."

I followed him into the building, and we rode the elevator in silence. When we reached his door, he stuck his key in the door and turned it. Nothing happened. He frowned.

"Weird, it wasn't locked. Lauren must have gotten home early." Shrugging, he opened the door. "Good , maybe she remembers where I put the tickets."

The door swung open quietly. All the lights were on, and I could hear movements in the kitchen.

"Baby, you're all out of diet, can I just grab you a regular?"

An unfamiliar woman with a cloud of curly brown hair walked out of Edward's kitchen. She was wearing a pair of ridiculously tiny shorts and a sport bra, which was weird, considering that it was only about 20 degrees outside.

"Jessica?" Edward asked. She whipped around, a can of Coke in her hand and a look of horror on her face. She rearranged her features quickly.

"Oh, hey Edward. Lauren said you were going to be out. We just got back from the exercise room!" She sounded like she was doing her best to sound perky, but there was an uncomfortable edge to her voice, and she started inching back toward where Edward's bedroom and home office were.

"I don't care if it's diet, I just need a kick of caffeine before round two," Lauren's voice floated up from an open door. Jessica whirled around, all composure lost.

"No, Lauren, don't. I'm coming!"

Too late. Lauren got halfway down the hallway, half-wrapped in a sheet and almost certainly not wearing much else, before she saw Edward and came to a stuttering halt. His eyebrows knit together in intense confusion.

I was right. Not only did Lauren screw up, but she did it with style and finesse that I couldn't have dreamed of. Unfortunately, I was here to witness it, and from the look on Edward's face, it wouldn't be pretty.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know. What a horrible place for a cliffie!! But I needed some time to work on the confrontation, and let me tell you, it'll be worth the wait.**

**Props to everyone who called the Lauren-Jessica connection... Leave me a review!  
**


	10. Bring It On

The room was absolutely silent as Lauren and Edward stared each other down. Jessica had flattened herself against the far wall of the living room and was shooting desperate looks at Lauren. I was backed up against the front door, holding my breath. No one made a sound.

Finally, Edward took a deep breath and glanced over his shoulder at me. I don't know what he saw in my face, but it seemed to bolster his confidence. He pressed his lips in a thin line and turned back to Lauren.

"What the fuck is going on, Lauren?" His voice was soft and hard at the same time. I think if he had directed that voice at me I would have burst into tears. Lauren, on the other hand, merely put the hand that wasn't holding up her sheet on her hip and raised her eyebrows.

"Please, Edward. What does it look like?"

"I'm trying to come up with a scenario that does not involve you fucking your best friend in our bed, but I'm coming up empty. Why don't you enlighten me?" Ice was creeping into his tone, and I could see both hands clenched in tight fists at his side.

"Well if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and walks like a duck…" Lauren replied with a small scowl.

Edward's composure cracked a little at that. He cleared his throat and blinked rapidly.

"Tell me this is a onetime thing, Lauren. Tell me you're drunk, or that you wanted to experiment. Just explain this to me," he was pleading with her, and even though his voice retained the cold, hard quality I could see that he couldn't keep it up for long.

"Oh, come on Edward, don't play dumb. I couldn't have made it more obvious if I tried. I just assumed that because you didn't say anything we had an understanding. I even told your little fuck buddy over there that you could keep your girl on the side arrangement. Didn't she give you the heads up? Although really Edward, you could do so much better."

I cringed and Edward's eyes bulged a little bit. He looked at me again, this time with a horrified look on his face. He whipped back to Lauren. "You… you what? Lauren, Bella and I aren't … we've never… what kind of understanding?"

He was losing his cool completely now. I think the enormity of the situation was setting in. Lauren rolled her eyes again and shifted her sheet up higher on her chest. I couldn't believe she was comfortable having this conversation wearing nothing but a see-through cotton sheet, but apparently the girl's confidence knew no bounds.

"Edward, Jessica and I have been together for three years. This isn't a new thing. You've met my parents; you can't honestly think they'd be happy to introduce their lesbian daughter and her girlfriend at the country club. I keep a steady stream of serious, upstanding young men around to throw off my parents and my boss, and the guys look the other way until they get bored and move on. That's how it's always worked. You're the only one who's stuck around this long, and I have to admit it's been nice. But don't kid yourself into thinking that this was heading anywhere."

"Don't kid myself? What the hell, Lauren? Your parents would get over it eventually, you know how proud they are of you. And why would I _ever_ be alright with the kind of 'arrangement' you've just described? Why would anyone? I didn't accuse you of carrying on a secret lesbian relationship, so that must mean I'm okay with it? What kind of skewed logic is that? I loved you, for Christ's sake!"

The past tense in his declaration wasn't lost on me, and Lauren keyed in on it too. I could see her demeanor shift. If she was holding anything back before, she certainly wouldn't now. Jessica was still scrunched up against the wall. She looked completely miserable and embarrassed. In a weird, twisted sort of way I felt bad for her. This couldn't have been her idea of a good time, and if this kind of thing had been going on for three years… I couldn't understand why she stuck around.

"Don't pretend like you weren't enjoying the perks of our relationship," Lauren snapped. "Your private piano studio has tripled in the last year, mostly because of contacts you made through me. This was mutually beneficial."

"Why would I date you to get students? I can do that on my own!" he yelled. "Why would you do this to me, Lauren? If you were just waiting for me to get bored and walk away, why did you work so hard to keep me? You lied to me every day, slept in my bed, _fucked me_ on a regular basis—and it meant nothing to you?"

I had never heard Edward drop the f-bomb before, and in five short minutes he had used it three times. He was livid now, the confusion and hurt gone for the time being.

"God, Edward, that could hardly be described as fucking," she sneered. "I don't know how to break this to you, but for such a hot guy you are barely average in the sack."

He flinched, and Jessica's eyes got even bigger. She crept up from her spot by the wall and put a tentative hand on Lauren's shoulder.

"Okay, let's all just calm down," she stammered. "Edward, I'm really sorry it had to come out this way. Maybe it would be best if everybody just took a break for a second."

"You're _sorry_?" he said scathingly. "Oh that's great. I'm glad you're _sorry_. I feel so much better about this now."

She winced and pulled back to her spot on the wall.

"I want you out," Edward said, turning back to Lauren. "I'm leaving now, and I want you out of this apartment when I get back. Any of the big stuff you can arrange to have moved over Thanksgiving, which I will be spending with my family in Forks. Once you're gone, you will leave your key and never contact me again. I'm not interested in your explanations. Do we _understand_ each other?"

Her jaw dropped, and for a second I saw through the anger to something else. Disbelief?

"You're bailing on me right before the holidays? I get that this is over, but can't you just suck it up for a couple more days? Don't be so selfish!"

"I'm selfish?" he roared. "Are you listening to how ridiculous you sound right now? You've been stringing me along for a year, pretending like we have a future together. You've been forcing Jessica, who I assume you actually purport to love, to go along with this ridiculous cover story for three years, and I'm the selfish one? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

He turned around and strode toward me, yanking the door open. I followed him back into the hallway. Before he closed the door, he looked into the apartment one last time.

"Jessica? I think you could do better."

He slammed the door and collapsed against the wall, tugging on his hair with both his hands and staring at the ground.

Neither of us said anything for a second, and the sounds of Edward's heavy breathing filled the hall. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he looked up at me.

"Do you mind if we skip the show? I need to get drunk. Right now."

I nodded and led the way back to the car. He followed, not saying a word. When we got in the car, he didn't start it. A couple more seconds of silence, then he turned to me. He looked more exhausted than angry.

"What exactly did she say to you?"

I met his gaze head on. Time to come clean and hope he didn't hate me. "She told me that she knew that the two of us were …fooling around. And that it was okay, as long as I didn't expect you to leave her for me. I tried to explain that nothing was going on, but she wouldn't listen."

"When did this happen?" he asked quietly.

"When I came over for dinner… you were in the kitchen getting dessert and coffee."

He nodded and closed his eyes for a second. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you would believe me, and I didn't want it to ruin our friendship," I responded, just as quietly. He seemed to be taking this very well, but after his angry outbursts in the apartment, his quiet calm worried me.

He nodded again and started the car, pulling into traffic and taking off down the block without a word. We were driving toward my apartment. I hoped he wasn't planning on drinking himself into oblivion alone, because there was no way I was going to let that happen. I exhaled in relief when he passed my turn without a second glance.

"Where are we going?" I asked tentatively. He hadn't made a sound since we started driving.

"Somewhere where the beer is cheap and no one will recognize me," he answered. I nodded and shut my mouth again. He would talk when he was ready.

I followed him into a dark and dingy bar on the outskirts of downtown. It wasn't so shady that I was afraid, but it was definitely the kind of place with lots of hidey holes, where beer was served in mason jars. We ordered a round and settled into a dark booth.

After downing half his jar in one long gulp, Edward spoke again.

"I don't blame you for not telling me." I started at the sound of his voice. My face must have looked skeptical, because he continued. "No, really, Bella. I could get angry and defensive and insist that I would have believed everything. But honestly, you're probably right. I would have called you a liar and looked the other way. So it's probably for the best."

He gulped down the rest of his beer and waved over a waitress who was wandering through the tables. He handed over the jar and ordered another one. "Besides," he said, turning back to me. "I only have so much room in my head, and the sheer mind-fuckery involved in finding out my girlfriend… well, ex-girlfriend… is a closeted lesbian who never loved or cared about me is taking up a lot of space right now."

The absurdity of his statement hit me pretty hard, and I let out a hysterical laugh. My eyes got wide and I slapped a hand over my mouth. After a beat, Edward's lips twitched into a small smile. Soon he was laughing helplessly, a high-pitched weepy giggle that was completely at odds with his usual bass chuckle. When his beer arrived, he caught his breath before chugging most of it in one go. The girl hadn't moved more than a couple of feet from our table when he gestured her back.

"Keep these coming," he ordered. She gawked at his almost empty jar for a second and then nodded, taking off for what would be his third pint of beer in less than 10 minutes.

"Edward, maybe you should slow down," I said quietly. I understood his urge to drown his sorrows, but I was worried he would make himself sick. I really wasn't prepared to take care of a trashed Edward. "Don't you have school tomorrow?"

"I'm calling in sick," he said firmly. "It's only a half-day anyway, and I think a day off to deal with this is more than appropriate. Besides, I'll need to get on a plane at some point. I hope I can get a ticket this late."

His rubbed his hands over his face and looked up at me, his eyes simmering with anger and sadness. "I can't believe how stupid I am. All the signs were there: the late meetings, the constant parade of girl's nights, dashing off to spend time with Jessica at the drop of a hat. I don't know why I never even … Did you know that Emmett told me that she was cheating on me six months ago? That Alice warned me about her from the start? That my parents can barely make polite conversation with her? And if Esme Cullen can't make small talk with someone, you know something's wrong. But I closed my ears and my eyes and told them they didn't know Lauren like I did, and that we were in love."

He threw back the rest of his beer and leaned back into the booth with a slightly nauseous look on his face. For a second I was afraid he was about to puke. "Oh God, I can't tell them about this. Can you even imagine what they'll say? Its bad enough she cheated on me, but she's a lesbian? I won't ever live this down."

"They're not going to make fun of you, Edward," I said soothingly. He blinked and looked into my eyes.

"You're right. They're not. Because they're not going to know."

"What?" I gaped back at him. "You're going to—what? Pretend like you're still dating her? Hide this whole thing from the people who love you most? I can't lie to your whole family, Edward."

"I'm not asking you to lie," he explained. "I'll tell them we broke up. Hell, I'll tell them that she cheated on me. But I can't tell them about Jessica. They'll never know the difference, it's not like she's coming out of the closet any time soon. Please, Bella. Don't tell them."

I hesitated. It wasn't really lying if we just omitted one, tiny part of the story. He stared at me, his eyes pleading, his full lips practically pouting at me. _God damn beautiful face._

"Fine," I agreed. "I won't tell." He smiled briefly and picked up the beer our waitress had just delivered.

*****

An hour and three more pints of beer later, Edward was flying high. I was glad that he ate a full dinner earlier or I had a feeling I would already be mopping him off the bathroom floor. He was currently calling all of his nearest and dearest and gleefully informing them of his breakup. If I didn't know how embarrassed he was going to be about most of those phone calls tomorrow, I would have thought it was hilarious. He was currently talking to his parents. Carlisle must have handed the phone over to Esme, because Edward's crooked grin appeared and he started talking a mile a minute.

"Mom! Guess what! I'm coming home for Thanksgiving," he slurred. "No, no, just a little tipsy. No worries. Bella's here! Sure!" I bit back a giggle. He was getting louder and louder, and several of our fellow patrons were staring at him. He handed the phone across the table to me.

"Bella, my mom wants to say hello. Take this," he ordered. Once I had the phone securely in my hand he stumbled out of the booth and towards the back of the bar where the restrooms were.

"Hello?"

"Bella, what on earth is going on? Carlisle won't tell me, he just keeps laughing and shaking his head."

"Um, well Edward and Lauren broke up tonight," I explained, twisting a strand of hair nervously. _Please don't ask for details._

She gasped. "What happened?"

Damn.

"She was cheating on him," I said simply. There, that wasn't a lie. "He's pretty upset, but as you can probably tell he's feeling okay at the moment."

"Can you handle things okay all by yourself? Maybe you should call Emmett and have him come out. Edward can be a bit of a handful when he drinks like that," she said. "It took his father and the other two groomsmen to wrestle him away from the bar at Emmett's wedding."

"That's a brilliant idea, Esme. Emmett will want to celebrate the occasion anyway," I said, chuckling a little bit. Esme cleared her throat, but I could have sworn I heard a small giggle on the other end. Edward was stumbling back to our booth, so I quickly said goodbye. He collapsed into the booth and looked at me expectantly.

Esme was right; I was definitely going to need reinforcements if Edward kept drinking at this rate. Emmett was huge, and Jasper participated in mock wars, so I was hoping the two of them together could handle one incredibly inebriated high school band teacher.

"What were we talking about?" he asked.

"You were just going to call Emmett and Jasper and ask them to come out and celebrate!" I exclaimed, pushing the phone back across our table to him. His face lit up and he quickly dialed. I could hear Emmett's cheers from across the table, and Jasper wasn't much quieter. After he had confirmed that they were both coming out, and that Jasper was bringing Alice, he settled into a contented silence. He was drinking slower now, so maybe he wouldn't have the worst hangover of his life in the morning. Despite the fact that I knew he was only cheerful because of the mass amounts of alcohol in his system, it was good to see him smile.

Suddenly, he slammed his beer down on the table and turned back to me, eyes blazing. Maybe I spoke too soon about that smiling thing.

"You know what kills me," he said loudly. "She has the nerve to take credit for my success as a fucking piano teacher. I'm a fucking classically trained pianist! Where does she get off?" He took a swig from his beer and accidentally spilled some down his shirt, but he didn't notice—he was too wrapped up in his righteous indignation.

At the next table over, a blonde girl was staring at him, her mouth hanging open. Her eyes were a little glazed, and she was practically drooling over him. I couldn't really blame her; even slobbering drunk and covered in beer he was the most attractive man in the place.

"I mean, have you seen these hands? She had nothing to do with these magic fingers," he practically shouted, wiggling his fingers at me. "I have more talent in my left hand than that girl has in her whole body."

Wiggling his "magic fingers" proved too tempting for our blonde neighbor to handle. She pushed herself out of her chair and sauntered over to our booth.

"Hi there," she purred. "I'm Amanda." She rubbed her upper body against his shoulder as she spoke. She was wearing something that I hesitate to classify as a shirt. It was more like a tea towel… with very tiny straps. Needless to say, her maneuvering nearly caused her to flash the entire bar, or at the very least, the right side of Edward's face. "I couldn't help but overhear you talking about your pianist skills." She giggled artificially and ran her hand through his hair, while Edward just stared at her, completely bewildered.

"You look just like my ex-girlfriend," he blurted abruptly. "She's a soul-sucking bitch."

I bit my tongue, but I couldn't hold the snort back. At my choked laughter, Amanda turned to me and scowled. When she made that face, the resemblance to Lauren really was uncanny.

"I'm sorry, he's not interested," I said smugly. "You should probably go."

She rolled her eyes and leaned down to brush her lips against his ear. "Come find me later if you want to spend some time with a real woman, handsome." With a swish of her hips, she swept off toward the bar.

"See? Even random women at bars think I'm sexy!" he exclaimed, pounding his fist on the table for emphasis. "Barely average my ass! I'm damn good in bed."

Oh God, he was not seriously having this conversation with me. This was not happening.

"You know who's bad in bed? Lauren is bad in bed," he continued, clearly not noticing how uncomfortable I was. "The woman is the very definition of cold fish. And stiff as a board, you don't even know. I mean, give me something to work with, lady. A man can only do so much from the missionary position!"

"Are we interrupting something?" I looked up to find Emmett and Jasper standing next to our table, wide smiles on their faces. Alice was bouncing behind them.

"Oh thank God," I sighed. I stood up and shoved the boys into the booth. Hooking my arm around Alice, I drug her a few feet away. "Alice, you have to get me out of here."

"What?" she squawked. "No way, I've been waiting for this for over a year! We just got here, why would you want to leave now?"

"I mean, yeah, she has a rocking body," Edward's drunken voice carried over to us. "But I've had better. Oh man, Emmett, do you remember Ashley Price? That chick had a hot body and she was crazy! The things that woman did with her mouth… I remember this one time—"

"Point taken," Alice said quickly, covering her ears and pushing me through the crowd with her elbows.

When we got to her car, she turned to me and fixed a stern stare on me.

"Okay, since my dear brother is clearly in no state to do much but talk about past sexual conquests," she said with a slight smile on her face. "What the hell happened tonight? All Jasper could get out of him was that they broke up and he was celebrating."

"We walked in on Lauren cheating on him," I said, knowing that the simple explanation that I gave Esme would not fly with Alice. I would have to use as many details as possible and hope it was enough. Her jaw dropped a little.

"And?! You can't just stop there. Come on, what happened? Who was it?"

"Edward forgot the tickets for the show we were going to see tonight, so we stopped back at his apartment. Lauren and her… uh, conquest were in a pretty compromising position," I said. "They had a huge fight. You would have been so proud of him, Alice. I mean, I was horribly uncomfortable and I was still proud. He read her the riot act, told her how selfish he thought she was, and said he wanted her to move out tonight while he was gone."

"Who was the guy? Was he totally sleazy?"

I chewed on my lip a little. "A mutual friend of theirs I guess. It's been going on for a while."

She exhaled loudly and ran her fingers through her cropped hair in a gesture that reminded me of Edward.

"Wow. So wait—is he coming home for Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah, didn't he tell you? He was on the phone with your parents right before he called Jasper and Emmett."

"He didn't, but that's great news! I had a gut feeling he would be coming home after all, although I have to say I was expecting another blowout fight, not a breakup. I'm happy to be wrong," she said. "I bought an extra ticket when I booked seats for Jasper and myself, so we're all set. Emmett and Rosalie have an early flight so they can spend the whole day with her family."

"Are the guys going to be able to handle him? He was pretty trashed…"

"No worries, I think the plan was to get one drink and have him go home with Jasper. What time is your flight tomorrow?"

"Uhhh I think I take off at 3:00?"

Her eyes lit up. "That's great, ours is at 3:30. We should carpool; I'll pick you up!"

She stopped in front of my apartment. Without warning, she wrapped me in a chokehold, hugging me within an inch of my life.

"I know tonight was probably really awkward and difficult, but thank you for hanging in there for him," she whispered. "It'll all work out, Bella. I just know it."

Releasing me, she gave a funny little wave. "Okay, now get some sleep and make sure you are packed and waiting outside this building at 12:30 on the dot!"

As I got ready for bed, I couldn't help but be grateful that I had the foresight to take Wednesday and Friday off. I was already packed and ready for the trip home, and all I wanted to do was sleep until I woke up, no alarms and no responsibilities to get in the way.

Unfortunately, my body had other plans. I couldn't get comfortable. My pillows seemed lumpy, and I couldn't get my sheets to wrap around me right. I stared at my ceiling for ages, trying not to notice as the minutes slipped by on the face of my alarm clock.

Eventually I gave up and started cleaning my apartment. I made my bed and put away the clothes I had thrown around before my not-a-date with Edward. It was odd to think that it was less than 12 hours ago I was stressing out over my decision to keep Lauren's accusation to myself.

Wandering back to my kitchen, I made a cup of green tea, trying not to notice that I only had eight hours before Alice picked me up. It was times like this when I thought getting a cat would be a worthwhile investment. Cats were nocturnal, right? At least I would have company when I was completely unable to sleep. Although with my luck I would probably end up with the kind of cat that slept 23 hours a day and ignored me for the other one. Alice was right; I wasn't really a cat person.

I awoke to a sharp tapping on my door. Sometime in the middle of the night I had fallen asleep on my couch, and my back and neck screamed at me from where I lay. Groaning, I looked over at the clock on my DVD player. It was 12:25.

"BELLA SWAN!" Alice's voice echoed in the hall and I cringed. "GET YOUR SKINNY BUTT OUT HERE!"

I stumbled to the door, stopping for a second to adjust my pajamas and sweep my hair into a pony tail. I cracked the door and there was Alice, grinning perkily.

"There you are!" She sang. "I was afraid I was going to have to yank you out of bed."

I grumbled incoherently under my breath and pushed the door open. "Come in Alice. You're early."

She looked pointedly at my Power Puff Girls pajama pants and worn out tie dyed t-shirt. I sighed loudly. "Be right back, I'll go change."

I didn't even look at what I was throwing on, just grabbed some clothes off my floor and a clean pair of underwear. Thankfully, I had compulsively organized my carry-on, purse, and ticket information the night before, so it took me less than five minutes to throw everything together and follow-the-bouncing-Alice down my stairwell and out onto the street.

Jasper waited in the front passenger seat. He flashed a quick grin at Alice as we approached and jumped out to help me load my suitcase into the trunk. Edward, in direct contrast to his chipper sister and her presentable boyfriend, was slumped in the back, looking sickly pale and scruffy. A Mariners cap was pulled over his eyes, which were hidden behind his thick black frames.

When I shut my door, he flinched. "Unghhhhh," he groaned. "Quiet time. No sudden movements. Must be quiet."

I laughed under my breath when Alice slammed her door and he flinched again, more noticeably this time. She just rolled her eyes and gunned it down the street. "Edward, you are such a pussy when you're hung-over. If you puke in my car, I swear to God you're paying to have it cleaned."

" 'm not gonna puke, Ali," he whined. "Just feeling a little off."

She peered through the rearview mirror at me and winked.

"I saw that," Edward muttered.

"You'll have to excuse Edward this afternoon," Jasper said casually. "He's a bit out of sorts after last night, what with the drunk-dialing, the loud retelling of sundry sexual exploits, and the getting hit on by nearly every woman in the tri-county area. Understandably, he's exhausted."

Even when he talked trash he was a nerd. I laughed and reached over to pat Edward's hand. He groaned in response.

"You're exaggerating," he grumbled. "You're exaggerating because I can't remember. Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's not polite to mess with the black-out drunk?"

"He's not exactly exaggerating," I grinned. "One woman assaulted you with her breasts right before you called her a soul-sucking bitch."

His jaw dropped. Alice snorted and Jasper turned around to stare at us, a playful grin on his face.

"Seriously? Oh man, I can't believe we missed that."

"Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened. I'm not gonna lie to you, Edward. It was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. How much do you remember?"

"I remember getting to the bar, being really angry, and drinking about six pints."

"Pretty sure your count by the end of the night was nine," Jasper said. "Emmett asked your waitress."

"Jesus, no wonder my head hurts," Edward moaned. "Alice, you're a girl. Got any ibuprofen in that duffel bag you call a purse?"

"Here, I have some," I responded, tossing him the small bottle. He grimaced at me and popped what was probably twice the recommended dose, then tried to settle back into his seat and relax. Too bad his sister drives like a hellion.

By the time we made it to the airport parking lot I was a little concerned that Edward actually was going to puke. His washed out face had turned a delicate shade of green. And all this time I thought that was just an expression. "Alice, you seriously need to go back to driver's ed. I can't believe the state of Washington ever issued you a driver's license," he panted weakly.

It turned out our terminals were fairly close together, so we picked a grouping of chairs in between them and sat around waiting for my flight to board. Edward managed to contort himself into a reclining position on several of the seats, but he kept shifting around. I prefer to spread myself out on the floor in airports, and was seated cross-legged on the ground with a book. Every time I tried to concentrate on my book, however, Edward would shift in his seats. He poked me with an elbow, then his shoulder. Finally, I sighed and looked up at him.

"Why don't you just get down here with me on the floor, Edward. You're never going to get comfortable up there. I'll even offer my lap as a pillow if it'll stop your wiggling."

He sighed and shifted again, making a face at me. "I'm fine." The words had just left his mouth when he lost his balance and fell sideways. Alice and Jasper burst into laughter. Edward was hanging, half on, half off the three seats he had been reclining in. His head and shoulders were on the floor and his back was arched over an armrest. His feet were anchored in another set of armrests.

I dropped my book and tried to hoist him up by his armpits, but since he's about twice my size it wasn't an easy feat. After a couple minutes' struggle, we managed to maneuver him up and out of his predicament.

"My offer stands," I said, laughing now that he wasn't completely stuck. He eyed my lap cautiously, like I had a venomous snake hiding there or something. "I don't bite Edward."

Finally, he nodded and lay on his side next to me, resting his head on my thigh. Despite his obvious reluctance, he got comfortable quickly and never moved. After about five minutes he passed out cold, and I allowed myself to examine his face. He looked like crap: purple bags hung under his eyes, reddish gold scruff covered half his face, and a tiny frown puckered his eyebrows. His hair looked like he hadn't washed it in a couple of days. It was odd to see him like this; he was usually so meticulously groomed.

"Bella and Edward sittin' in a tree," Alice sang quietly. I looked up and saw her and Jasper watching me, wearing matching smiles. Okay, I had to play this cool or Alice would tell the whole family we were in love or some crock of crap story. It was bad enough that Rosalie probably suspected my crush, but I needed to nip Alice in the bud before she made Edward uncomfortable.

I put on my very best sarcastic face. "Alice, the man just went through a horrendous break-up with the woman he was living with after walking in on her cheating on him. I hardly think that he's in any condition to be climbing trees, let alone _my _tree. So let's just check the nursery rhymes at the door. We're friends, and that's that."

Alice shrugged and rolled her eyes, pulling Jasper off his chair to get something to eat at the coffee shop across the terminal. I exhaled, feeling like I had just dodged a bullet. If things ever went anywhere with Edward, I wanted them to progress naturally and because he wanted them to, not because I was the girl his family liked, who supported him through his traumatic breakup with a lipstick lesbian.

I glanced down at his sleeping face. He was smiling now, the frown from earlier completely gone. His mouth hung slightly open and gentle snores rumbled in his chest, which for some reason made me giggle. He twitched at the sound of my laugh and I thought he was going to wake up, but all he did was nuzzle my thigh a little bit and sigh happily. I closed my eyes for a moment and leaned into the chair behind me. Blocking out the sounds of my fellow travelers, I enjoyed the feel of Edward's gentle breathing and allowed myself to savor the quiet moment. I knew that once we were back in Forks the chaos that accompanied the holiday would swallow us up. It felt a little bit like I was riding in the eye of the storm, waiting for all hell to break loose.

How right I was.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I've never been so nervous about posting something. Your reviews made me feel like it had to be perfect, I hope this satisfied! Just so you know, you were beating out Twilighted for a while on the review front, but they schooled you in the last chapter, they just barely fell short of 100. Think you can reclaim your title? **

**In other news, my update schedule is going to go to shit in July. I'm sorry in advance (and posting this chapter early so you'll forgive me). I have summer classes finishing up next week, finals, a family reunion, and my best friend's wedding (MOH duties mean a long weekend for me!). So here's the deal. I'm going to post whenever I have something to post, hopefully still keeping up kind of with the once a week goal, but I'm not going to worry about setting a date. I will be mostly responsibility free after July 22, at which point I may just redeem myself and update MORE than once a week. Best way to encourage me to do that? Click that little review box. :)  
**


	11. Out on the Town

Two screaming infants, one overweight seatmate, and too many hours in an airplane later, I was climbing off my plane in Seattle. Almost as soon as I left Edward behind, groggy but slightly more coherent after his nap, my day took a turn for the worse. I usually don't mind flying, but flying over the holidays is never my cup of tea, and today was no exception. The flight was packed, and there was no room in the overhead compartment for my bag. I ended up shoving it as best I could between my knees, which seriously restricted my movement for the long flight. I was eternally grateful that Charlie didn't mind driving to Seattle to pick me up, because I was not up for another flight in the puddle jumper that usually took me to Port Angeles.

I wandered down the concourse, tugging my carryon behind me. Once I cleared the gates, my eyes started searching for my father's familiar curly brown mop of hair. He wasn't particularly tall or distinctive looking, so sometimes it was difficult to find him in a crowd. I was jostled this way and that by other passengers who, like me, just wanted to find their rides and get out. Finally, I spotted him. He was standing off to one side by a plastic bench, scanning the crowd. I shoved my way over to him and dropped my bag, startling him out of his search. He broke into a broad smile and hugged me.

"Bells! I didn't see you there," he said, gripping me tightly. "It's been too long, baby girl."

When I pulled away, his face was bright red. Charlie always got a little awkward about outward displays of affection, and I think my sudden appearance caught him off guard. After he collected himself a little bit, I smiled up at him.

"Missed you too, Dad," I said, as cheerfully as I could. Now that I was safely on the ground, I was determined to dismiss the hell of my last several hours. I was home with Charlie after more than two years, I was spending Thanksgiving with my father and my recently rediscovered second family, and most importantly, I didn't have to work again until Monday.

"So, have you talked to the Cullens about what time we're supposed to be over there tomorrow?" I asked, following him out into the brisk, cool air.

"Esme said that dinner would be starting at four, so we were welcome any time before that," he said, swinging my bag into the trunk of his police cruiser. I winced a little. Rides in the cruiser had been fun as a child. Alice and I used to fight over who got to ride shotgun and who would play the criminal behind the plastic divider. Charlie would let us play with the lights on special occasions. As an adult, the prospect of making my grand entrance to my erstwhile hometown in a cop car seemed much less exciting.

We rode most of the way home in silence, the radio playing softly in the background. This was how we were together; we didn't need words. It was a sharp contract to the constant chatter that surrounded me when my mother was around. As we passed Port Angeles, Charlie suddenly cleared his throat.

"So…" he started. I looked at him curiously. He was blushing again, which was odd. "How are things going in Chicago? Socially, I mean? Do you… well, are you making new friends?"

"Yes," I said cautiously, trying to figure out what he was getting at. He never took a strong interest in my social life: that was Renee's job.

"Have you been going out much?" he continued, still sounding flustered. My stomach dropped. Had he somehow found out about the dates Alice had sent me on? I couldn't see how that was possible. Alice liked to torture me, but she wouldn't dish to Esme, and Esme certainly wouldn't share with my dad.

"Not really," I said, going for casual. "Edward and I went to the symphony once, and I've been to a few restaurants." I was pleased with how normal my response sounded. I was getting better at lying without actually lying. Good thing too, considering the secret Edward had me keeping.

"Good, good," Charlie said vaguely. "You know, if you ever had a fella, Bells…" He turned a little pink but kept speaking, despite the look of mortification I know was on my face. "Well, it would be alright if you brought him around."

I stared at him in shock for a minute. "Okay…" He didn't say anything else, so I went back to staring out the window. This conversation was beyond surreal. After a couple of minutes he cleared his throat again. I looked back at him, my eyebrows raised. His face was still pink. Apparently we weren't done.

"Do you remember Sue Clearwater?" he asked. I blinked. That wasn't what I was expecting at all.

"Uh, yeah," I said, thinking back to the small, stern woman who worked the dispatch at Forks police station. She was divorced, like Charlie, but she didn't have children. She always had a soft spot for me as a child, and she would frequently give me candy when my mother and I stopped in to visit.

"Well she doesn't have any family nearby anymore, and I invited her to spend the holiday with us," he stammered. Understanding dawned on me. This conversation wasn't about my social life at all. It was about my dad's.

"That sounds fine," I said, grappling around in my head for an appropriate response. "Uh, do you… do you see Sue often?"

"A bit," he said vaguely. We were almost to his house now, and although I knew Charlie could drive this patch of road in his sleep, he was staring at the road as if it was truly fascinating. Sighing inwardly, I let it drop. This must be what it feels like to be the parent of a teenager.

When we got home, Charlie grabbed my bag and shuffled into the house, making a beeline for the fridge for a beer. Apparently the stress of telling me about his sort-of girlfriend was too much for my poor father to handle. Smiling a little to myself, I took my bag from him and hiked up the staircase to my childhood bedroom.

Everything looked exactly the same. It was as if I had jumped into a time machine and sped back 15 years. The bright purple walls, with yellow and pink butterflies peeking out of the corners, hand painted by my mother; a navy blue coverlet spread out on the tiny twin bed; and a hammock full of stuffed animals tacked to the wall. I had left the stuffed animals behind to keep my dad company when my mom and I moved. My heart broke a little bit when I thought about how hard it was to leave this place.

Dad and I spent a quiet evening together. He didn't mention Sue again, except to say that she was going to come over to the house at 3 the next afternoon so we could meet before heading over to the Cullen house.

By the time 3 o'clock rolled around the next day, I was itching for social interaction. Hanging out with Charlie was… well it wasn't exactly stimulating. It surprised me how much I had gotten used to being constantly surrounded by people. Between work, lunch dates with Alice, family nights with the Cullens, and routine get-togethers with Edward, I was used to chatter and loud laughter. I was suddenly extremely grateful for our invitation to the Cullen Thanksgiving dinner. As much as I missed my father, an entire day of cooking, eating and sitting in front of the TV watching football with minimal conversation was incredibly unappealing.

Sue arrived right on time. She looked almost exactly the same, except for her short black hair was shot through with streaks of gray. It made her look distinguished and a tad softer. The three of us stood in silence in Charlie's yellow kitchen, another remnant of my mother's painting.

"So, Sue, how have you been?" I asked after several moments of silence. She looked a little startled at the sound of my voice, but she turned to me and gave me a hesitant smile.

"Just fine. How about you?"

"Great!"

There was another pause. Charlie and Sue seemed perfectly content to stay silent, but I was getting uncomfortable.

"So, um, I guess we should get going?" I asked. Charlie nodded and Sue smiled again. I exhaled loudly and lead the way out of the house to Sue's car. The Cullen house was on the outskirts of town and hard to find if you didn't know what you were looking for, so Charlie directed her as we wove through the small town streets.

I tried conversation two more times, each time getting minimal response from Sue. It amazed me how similar she and Charlie were in this; both of them not feeling inclined to use more words than necessary, perfectly content to just stay quiet. I was used to it with my dad, but Sue was a virtual stranger, and I was less comfortable with the silence. From my attempts, I learned that she still worked the dispatch, liked her job, and knew the Cullens through various fundraising events she helped with over the years. Past that, she seemed unwilling to volunteer information. Other than that, the ride was quiet, punctuated with Charlie's directions.

When we pulled up the long drive that led to Carlisle and Esme's sprawling white house, Alice sprinted across the yard to meet us. As soon as I was out of the car, she had pulled me into a strong hug.

"Thank God you're here," she gasped. "The boys are ganging up on me, and Rosalie is no help at all." I laughed and followed her toward the front door while Charlie and Sue walked behind us at a slower pace. "Edward is being a pain in the ass, too," she added, more quietly. "He went all emo after you boarded your plane. He's been sulking in the music room since we got home, maybe you can cheer him up."

I frowned, partly at Alice's tone and partly at the thought of Edward hiding himself away and brooding. "Cut him some slack, Alice," I said gently. "This hasn't been a great week for him."

She sighed heavily, but had the decency to look a little guilty. "I know, but I thought once he realized what a bitch Lauren is he'd be happy to see her go."

"It isn't that easy," I said, frowning. "He spent time and energy on that relationship, and now he finds out that not only was she not trying at all, but she didn't care? He gets some grieving time."

"He better not _grieve_ through Thanksgiving," she grumbled. I rolled my eyes and walked through the door into the foyer. Esme was waiting there, and she scooped me into a hug as soon as I stopped moving. I laughed a little and squeezed her back. No doubt about it: the Cullens are huggers.

"It's nice to see you again," I mumbled into her shoulder.

"We're so glad you and your father could join us," she said, withdrawing and beaming down at me. She turned to the open door where Charlie and Sue stood awkwardly. She immediately hugged Sue and started chatting away, sending Charlie to the living room where a large screen TV was blasting football. I sighed in relief and followed Alice toward the back of the house. She jerked her head toward the small room that held Edward's piano and squeezed my shoulder gently.

I knocked softly. Strains of something sad and sweet filtered through the closed door. I knocked again, and the music stopped.

"I told you Emmett, I don't want to play. Leave me alone," Edward called. I gritted my teeth and opened the door.

"Em, what part of no don't you—"he trailed off as he saw me standing in the doorway. Scowling, he turned back to the piano and started playing again.

"Did they send you in here to make me put on a happy face?" he asked, pounding on the keys a little harder than was probably necessary. I closed the door behind me and sat next to him on the bench.

"Alice was just a little worried about you," I said quietly. He stopped playing and glanced at me, an ugly look on his face.

"Oh? She pulled her lips away from her perfect boyfriend long enough to notice that I wasn't out there?"

I punched his shoulder, hard. He flinched and glared at me. "What the hell, Bella?"

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you are making it very hard to feel sorry for you," I said sharply. "I came to make sure you were okay, and to try to get you to come out and spend a little time with your family. I know you're upset, and I'm really sorry. But hiding away by yourself and playing depressing music is not going to help."

He stared at me, his eyebrows furrowed slightly and his lips slightly pursed.

"Now," I continued. "I smelled sugar cookies on my way in here. Think we can sneak some out from under your mom's nose?" I lowered my voice conspiratorially. "She's good and occupied with Charlie and his _girlfriend_."

His eyebrows quirked a little at the word, but he grinned at the mention of cookies. There was nothing more delicious than Esme Cullen's freshly baked sugar cookies, unless it was her chocolate chip cookies. I pulled him off the bench and out of the music room.

His large, warm hand was wrapped in mine as we made our way down the hallway, and I found myself getting distracted by the feel of it. I glanced back at him, and saw that he was staring at our joined hands with a strange look on his face. _Crap_.

I pulled away from him and flattened myself against the wall. Humming the theme song to _Mission Impossible,_ I slid sideways toward our destination, jerking my head sideways to get Edward to follow me. My sudden silliness wiped the weird look off his face, and he started to chuckle under his breath. I shot him an annoyed glance and pressed a finger to my lips. We crept into the kitchen, ducking behind the counters and staying low to the ground until we reached the cookie sheets.

The stealth was completely unnecessary. All the Cullens were in the living room now, along with Charlie, Sue, and Jasper. I was right; there were two sheets of warm sugar cookies sitting out to cool. We were enjoying our stolen sweets at the kitchen table when Esme walked in. Her eyes narrowed a little at the sight of the cookies in our hands. Edward quickly shoved the rest of his cookie in his mouth and put on his best innocent face. Unfortunately, it was a little hard to pull off with his mouth full.

Esme sighed heavily and tried to hide her smile. She pulled a small box from the counter behind her and sat down next to us.

"You two won't ever change, will you?" she said, half scolding and half fondly. "I thought you might like to see these, Bella," she continued, sliding the box across the table to me. "I went looking for them after we saw you in Chicago, and when Emmett said that you would be joining us for Thanksgiving I had copies made for you."

I opened the box and gasped. Inside was what looked like at least a hundred photos. The one on top featured Alice and I running away from Emmett in dainty, little girl swimming suits as he aimed a hose at our backs. I flipped to the next one. Alice, Edward and I getting onto a yellow school bus. Next, Esme, Renee and I up to our elbows in dirt, digging out one of Esme's many flower beds. This tiny box contained all the best moments of my childhood. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I paged through the photos.

Esme and Sue started dishing out food into serving bowls, and everyone else grabbed chairs. Alice and Rosalie came over to where I sat pouring over the photos.

"Oh my God, I remember this!" Alice exclaimed. She grabbed the photo I was looking at out of my hands. "I decided I was going to be a doctor like Daddy." Jasper peeked over her shoulder and burst into laughter.

"Are you sure this isn't a Halloween picture?" he asked. "Edward, man, you look like a mummy."

Edward cracked a small smile and shrugged. "Alice assured me that I had a severe skin condition, and the only way to save me was to wrap me up tightly and hope for the best. Nurse Bella and Nurse Emmett assisted, of course." He nodded at us and Emmett laughed.

"Dad made us unwrap him after he got home from work. Apparently freckles aren't quite as life threatening as Alice here was led to believe."

Carlisle grinned. "Better safe than sorry," he said, patting Alice on the head as he went to grab the carving knife.

We spent most of dinner chatting about our childhoods. Jasper told some hilarious stories about growing up in Texas. His parents ran a ranch for "Yankee tourists." He and his brother Peter spent a lot of time playing tricks on the guests. It was amusing to hear about straight-laced Jasper weaving elaborate pranks involving saddles and cow pies.

Rosalie had some good stories too. She was a bit of a tomboy as a child, much to her mother's dismay. "She thought I had the face for beauty pageants," Rose said, rolling her eyes. "But I spent most of my time playing football with the neighborhood boys."

There was only one truly awkward moment during dinner, when Emmett loudly asked Charlie and Sue how long they had been "shacking up." I guess I should be grateful he didn't use a more graphic term. Esme and Rose aimed twin smacks to his head and Carlisle muttered something about "absolutely no tact."

When dinner was over, the men all volunteered to clear the table and start the dishes. Esme, Sue, Rose, Alice and I wandered back into the living room. Avery was out like a light, sleeping in a pack-and-play in the corner of the room, so we kept the TV off. Instead, we sorted through the photos Esme had found, trying to put them in chronological order. Alice pulled out the family photo albums too.

It was oddly idyllic. Holidays with my mother were always punctuated with bizarre new recipes or a must-try new "tradition," like running a 10K at Christmas (I sprained my ankle), or participating in a city-wide Easter Egg hunt (we got lost and ended up eight miles from the boundaries of the hunt). These traditions never made it longer than a year, and even though I have a host of entertaining, and sometimes a little scarring, holiday memories, I felt like I missed out on the kind of normal experiences most people grow up with. Even after my mom married Phil, we traveled a lot on holidays, because I would have time off from school.

Edward reached past my shoulder and plucked a picture from the center of the coffee table. "I remember this day," he said softly. I grabbed his arm and pulled him down next to me so I could get a better angle on the photograph. He collapsed onto the seat next to me and leaned over.

I was sitting on the front porch of the Cullen house, my chin in my hands. Alice had her arm around me, and Edward and Emmett sat behind us. We all had half-hearted smiles on our faces, but I looked like I was a couple of seconds from bursting into tears.

It was the last time I had seen them before leaving town with my mother. We left the next morning.

"I was so mad at you," he continued. "I didn't really understand why you had to leave, except that to some degree they let you pick, and you picked leaving."

I sighed. "I didn't want to leave, but I also couldn't imagine living without my mother."

"I know," he laughed a little, squeezing my hand. "But you broke my sad little ten year old heart."

There was a contented silence for a few minutes as the guys settled into chairs and sofas, cuddling up to their wives and girlfriends. Edward's hand was still resting on top of mine, and he finally looked like he had managed to relax for a little while.

Alice was the first one to break the silence.

"So tomorrow is the day after Thanksgiving," she said in a sing-song tone. "You know what that means!"

Edward groaned, and Emmett cheered. "Alice, do we have to?" Edward whined.

"Bella's coming, aren't you, Bella?" Alice wheedled. I had no idea what they were talking about, but the only thing I could come up with that was specific to that date was shopping.

"If this involves going to a mall at 5 a.m., I am absolutely NOT going," I said sternly. Alice grinned and Rosalie chuckled.

"Oh no, this is much more fun. Every year, on the Friday after Thanksgiving, we go out on the town!" Alice bounced a little in her seat.

"By 'out on the town,' she means we go to Sporty's and try to avoid all the people we went to high school with," Edward explained, sighing.

"Sporty's?" I wrinkled my nose. "Isn't that the dirty little pub across from the diner?"

"It sure is," Emmett crowed. "Oh man, Bella. You haven't lived until you've hit up the townie bar on the day after Thanksgiving. It's a Cullen family tradition."

"So you're coming, right? It's so much fuuuuun," Alice said, batting her eyes and pouting.

"Um, sure," I said. "I'll come out with you guys."

Alice squealed and started evaluating clothing options while Emmett told Jasper about the time he almost got into a fist fight with a local over a game of darts. Rosalie just sighed and leaned into Emmett, apparently resigned to his behavior.

"You don't have to come with us, you know," Edward whispered in my ear. His breath hit my neck and I shivered a little.

"Why wouldn't I come?" I asked, a little defensively. "Do you not want me there?"

"No, no!" he said quickly. "It's just that you'll probably have to deal with random jerks hitting on you all night, and the place is usually full of people we graduated with. You won't know anyone."

"Well we'll just have to stick together then." I gave him a smile and patted his leg. "Don't worry about me, Edward. I'm sure I can handle one night at a local bar."

*****

As soon as I walked into Sporty's, I was grateful that I hadn't taken Alice's wardrobe advice. My t-shirt and jeans made sure that I blended into the crowd. The bar was hazy with cigarette smoke, and the only reason I was able to spot the Cullens was that all of the guys were so tall. Emmett, in particular, stuck out, his big, broad shape dominating the corner he stood in. He was also talking at top volume, so that helped.

Alice and Rosalie were already buzzed when I arrived, and Emmett was well on his way. Jasper had volunteered to DD, and he was watching Alice twirl around their table with a look of tolerant amusement on his face. Edward sat watching them all, nursing his beer with a frown.

"Belly Bird is here!" Emmett yelled, rushing over to where I stood and grabbing my arm. He towed me to their table and shoved me into the chair next to Edward.

"Alright, team," he said loudly, "Gather up!"

Everyone grouped around the table, Alice and Rosalie flanking Jasper opposite of where Edward and I sat.

"We have a special mission tonight," he continued. "Edward, as we all know, recently dumped his cheating ho girlfriend."

Edward's face darkened and he screwed up his mouth, clearly ready to shoot off an angry comment. Emmett waved him off before he could speak.

"I know you cared about her, Edward, but she wasn't good for you." Edward's glare didn't waver, but he closed his mouth again, apparently unable to argue with that point.

"Anyway, dear brother, tonight we're going to help you out. The quickest way to get a girl out of your head is to get another girl underneath you. We're a team of able-bodied wingmen, and this bar is full of girls who had the hots for you in high school."

A flash of resentment burned through me, and for a second I felt as mutinous as Edward looked. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that Edward was free to make his own decisions, and that he had to get over this thing with Lauren the best way he could. Maybe Emmett was right, maybe flirting with some random girls would restore some of his self esteem. Who was I to begrudge him that? I tried not to think about how I would feel if he decided to take things further than flirting.

"Emmett's right, Edward," I said brightly. "You left Chicago to have a little fun and put what happened with Lauren behind you. Just relax and have a good time tonight. We won't let you do anything too stupid." I winked and Emmett laughed.

"See? Even Bella thinks it's a good idea," he said, shooting Edward an angelic smile.

Edward's grimace relaxed a little, but he looked at me with a face full of disappointment. "Et tu, Bella?" he asked.

Before I could answer, Alice and Rosalie swooped in on him and dragged him up to the bar, where a group of girls stood eyeing the men in our group. They were as dressed up as you could get in Forks, and as soon as Edward walked over they flashed brilliant smiles at him. Rose and Alice hung out for a couple of minutes before discreetly sneaking away, leaving Edward surrounded.

I slammed a beer with Emmett before I could get too worked up about the hussies at the bar. He was only in Forks for the weekend, I reasoned. These girls would mean nothing on Monday morning. I walked back to the bar with Alice, who was still bouncing and twirling like the energizer bunny on crack. I made a mental note to start serving her sugar free juice with her vodka.

As casually as possible, I stationed us a few feet from where Edward stood with two of the girls from earlier. He looked more relaxed now, and he was laughing at something that the taller of the two had said.

"You're totally cuter than that girl," Alice slurred, jumping up onto a stool.

"Who?" I said innocently, looking in the opposite direction. She just smirked at me and shook her head.

"There is no fooling Alice," she intoned. "I see all." With that, she hopped back down off her bar stool and skipped back to Jasper, landing in his lap with a happy shriek.

"Your tiny friend should go easy on the drinks tonight," a man said from my left. "She doesn't look like she weighs more than 100 pounds."

"She's got a hollow leg," I joked, turning towards the voice and rolling my eyes. I was about to say something snarky and walk away, but one look at the guy stopped me in my tracks. He towered over me, but stood as far away as was possible in the small, packed space. I didn't feel threatened or like he was leering at me, it was simply as if he was making a friendly observation. He was Edward's polar opposite: warm, golden skin; short, perfectly groomed black hair; and an easy open demeanor that exuded warmth. He was as welcoming as Edward was mysterious. Glancing over my shoulder at Edward, I determined that he wasn't going anywhere for a while. I turned back to my new acquaintance and smiled.

"You should see her when she really gets going," I said to him, nodding my head toward Alice. "There isn't a bouncer in Chicago who can keep her down."

He laughed and extended his hand."I'm Jacob Black."

"Nice to meet you, Jacob Black. I'm Bella Swan."

His eyes widened a little bit. "Chief Swan's daughter?"

I forced a smile and nodded, inwardly cursing my luck. Of course everyone in this podunk town knew my father. In the outside world I could get to know a guy without the specter of my father's status as a police chief hovering over the conversation and scaring the crap out of him. Not so in Forks, Washington.

"I thought you looked familiar!" he said, beaming down at me. "Although I'm not surprised I didn't recognize you, the last time we saw each other you were probably about eight years old."

I stared, nonplussed._ Jacob Black_, I thought frantically. The name didn't sound familiar at all. I chewed my lip and tilted my head a little, trying to place him.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he asked teasingly. After a couple more seconds, I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, I don't," I admitted.

"My dad is Billy Black. You used to play with my sisters and me when Charlie brought you on fishing trips."

It all rushed back to me at his words, and I grinned at him, punching him lightly on the arm. "Get the hell out! Jake? How are Rachel and Rebecca?"

I didn't spend a lot of time with the Blacks as a child, mainly because I despised fishing and got out of going with my dad whenever possible. On the rare occasions when my mom or the Cullens couldn't watch me, though, I whiled away the long days making sand castles on the beach with Jake and his sisters, while Charlie and Billy floated peacefully out in the bay. I had always spent more time with the girls, as Jacob was two years younger than me and even shyer than I was.

"They're both married and living out of state," he said. "Rebecca is in Hawaii and Rachel is in California."

"Wow! How about you, are you still living around here or are you just home for the holiday?"

"I'm in school at the UW right now, I'm a junior."

We chatted easily for a while. Jacob told me about college and his sisters and I told him about Chicago and meeting back up with the Cullens. Jacob knew them by reputation, but he had never met any of them. I was about to turn and introduce him to Edward when a high pitched giggle interrupted my thoughts.

Edward was standing with the taller girl; her friend had gone somewhere else. They were leaning into each other and smiling. The girl was running her fingers up and down his arm, listening raptly as he murmured something too low for me to hear over the noise in the bar.

My chest constricted at the sight, and I choked a little on my breath.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jacob asked, concerned. I smiled and nodded, looking away from Edward, who was speaking directly into the girl's ear now, a flirtatious crooked grin on his face.

"I need some air," I said. "Want to step outside for a minute?"

Wordlessly, he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door. He parted the crowd like the Red Sea, saving me from having to shove people out of my way. A blast of cool air hit my face as he pushed through the door, clearing my head. I leaned against the outside wall of the bar, enjoying the sharp tingle of the air on my exposed skin.

Jacob watched me quietly, concern and confusion still etched in his features. After a few minutes of silence, I rolled my eyes and straightened up.

"Do I have something on my face?" I asked sarcastically. He ignored me.

"Who was the guy at the bar?" When I didn't answer, he pressed again. "The red head, the one you kept staring at?"

"I wasn't staring," I said defensively. "He's a friend, and I was watching out for him. He just went through a bad break up."

"Sure, sure," he said, clearly not buying it. Smart guy, I wouldn't believe me either. "I look at all my friends like that."

"It's really none of your business," I said angrily. To my annoyance, he laughed.

"It's my business when I can't even get my flirt on because the beautiful girl in front of me is staring back over her shoulder at her clearly unavailable friend."

"Oh please, that was flirting?" I laughed, ignoring the last part of his sentence. Despite his words, I didn't feel like Jacob was coming on to me. He was just trying to lighten the mood, to cheer me up. Considering he didn't really know me, it was a kind gesture.

"Ouch, Bella," he put his hand to his chest and staggered back. "That really hurt."

"There's more where that came from," I said in a mock threatening voice. I jabbed the air in front of me with my fists. He cowered a little, then out of nowhere grabbed my shoulders and started rubbing my head with his fist, mussing up my hair. I shrieked with laughter and twisted to get out of his grip, gasping for breath. Out of nowhere, a hand clamped down on my shoulder and pulled me roughly back.

Jacob still stood in front of me, breathless and grinning. So who was behind me?

"Who the hell are you?" Edward asked roughly. I turned and stared at him, thrown off by the cold look in his eye. He was glaring at Jacob and clenching his fists tightly at his side. He looked a little bit like he had when confronting Lauren in their apartment a few days ago.

"I'm Jacob Black," Jake said easily, extending a hand. Edward looked at his hand, then back up at Jake's face, but made no movement. After a second, Jake dropped his hand.

"Jacob is the son of one of my dad's best friends," I explained, trying to shift Edward's gaze away from Jacob. "We were chatting and I needed some air so he walked me out."

He turned to look at me, but his gaze didn't soften. "You just left the bar with a total stranger? Are you crazy, or just stupid? When I couldn't find you I got worried, and then I get out here and this guy is practically mauling you—"

I narrowed my eyes and stepped away from him, not liking where this conversation was headed, partly because he was right. "Stupid? What the hell, Edward? My dad is a policeman, you don't think I know basic safety? Jacob and I were just goofing around. You're over-reacting."

Edward's jaw clenched a little and for some reason that really annoyed me. "Besides," I added spitefully, "It's none of your business if I leave the bar with Jacob, or any guy. What happened to the girl you were hanging on earlier?"

"Kim went home," he said softly, although he looked hurt at my outburst. I really had to get a grip, I was starting to sound like a jealous girlfriend. I was still annoyed by Edward's reaction, and a bit confused. I didn't have the energy to deal with it anymore, so I made a split second decision.

"Sounds like a good idea. I'm going to head out Edward, tell everyone goodbye for me." I turned back to Jacob. "It was nice to see you, Jake. Tell your sisters I say hello."

"Do you want a ride?" Jacob asked quickly.

"Sure."

Edward gnawed on his lip, something I noticed he had been doing lately, and then sighed. "Text me when you get home? Otherwise I'll… Alice will worry."

I sighed and nodded, turning my back on him to follow Jacob to his car. I didn't have to tell him where Charlie lived, which was nice. We sat outside the house for a second before he cleared his throat.

"Well, it was nice talking to you Bella. I hope I didn't get you in trouble with your warden," he said, smirking a little so I knew he was kidding. I shoved him playfully.

"Whatever, he'll get over it. Thanks for the ride," I said, getting out of the car and walking to my front door. With a final wave, Jacob drove off. I crept in, closing the door quietly behind me. It was late enough that Charlie would be in bed, and all the lights were off on the first floor. As I was climbing the stairs though, I heard a weird noise coming from Charlie's bedroom. I paused, not registering the sounds for a minute.

It wasn't until I heard a particularly feminine moan that I figured it out. Charlie was having a sleep over. _Oh my God_. Of course. Because my night couldn't get more awkward and weird.

I shut my eyes as much as I could while still maneuvering my way up the stairs, just in case Charlie's door was open. I hoped against all hope that Sue wasn't a screamer. You never could tell with the quiet ones.

Shutting my door a little louder than was necessary, I got ready for bed and curled up under my comforter. I stared up at a yellow butterfly and wished that things were still as simple as they were the last time I lived in this room. Back when I never had to think about my parents having sex or how to be friends with a guy who I just wanted to kiss within an inch of his life. Back when I just _knew_ that I was going to grow up and marry Edward Cullen and live happily ever after. Things are so much simpler when you're eight.

I was almost asleep when my phone beeped, signaling a text message. I rummaged through the pile of things on the floor by my bed—I had dropped my purse there earlier. The text was from Edward.

_**Did you make it home? Alice is worried.**_

I glared at my phone for a minute, seriously considering not responding because he was being so ridiculous. Then I decided that I really didn't need an angry Edward showing up at the front door in the middle of the night, especially considering what Charlie was up to right now. I quickly typed out a response.

_**Home and in bed. No worries, Alice**_.

Right, "Alice" was worried. Alice was probably floating in the clouds in a vodka and Jasper induced haze. It was Edward who was being an over-protective idiot. I fell back into my bed and tried to get comfortable, but I was still irritated by Edward's behavior and trying to ignore the tiny part of me that liked how protective he was acting. Two minutes later, my phone beeped again.

_**Sweet dreams**_.

I couldn't help it. I smiled. What can I say? I'm weak. Luckily, no one was there to see me smile, or to see me clutch my phone to my chest a little before setting it back on the ground. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of an answer. There was no need to make things easier on him just because I was a sucker. He still owed me an apology for acting like a territorial asshole, and I knew I would probably have to apologize for getting bitchy with him for flirting with a girl on my orders. Things were getting messy, but just for tonight I wasn't going to care. I just thought about Edward and smiled, allowing his face to block out other thoughts and the sounds down the hall.

Just for tonight.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for hanging in there for an update guys! I loved all your reviews on the last chapter. You beat twilighted on the review count, congratulations! I'm sorry it took me so long to get this written, but RL called, and I had to answer. Sigh. After this week I'm hoping to get a bunch of writing done, so hopefully the next update will be much sooner! **

**My last fic, No Sleep for the Wicked, has made it to the final round of voting for the Indie TwiFic Awards in the category "Best AU-Human Complete". Go check out the site: theindietwificawards(DOT)com. Voting runs from Wednesday (7/22) to Sunday (7/26). **

**Don't forget to stop by the thread on twilighted! Leave me a review and let me know what you think. As always, thanks for reading!  
**


	12. KO

When I stumbled down the stairs the next morning, I was half-hoping that last night had just been a dream. Surely I didn't really come home to the sounds of my father's late night activities. Preposterous. This was Charlie, who hadn't had a date in over a decade. Charlie, who could barely tell me about even _dating _Sue without having a coronary. Yes, last night had clearly been a hallucination, brought on by alcohol and the stress of fighting with Edward.

I skidded to a stop at the foot of the stairs. Sue was sitting at the kitchen table, thankfully fully dressed and drinking a cup of coffee. Charlie was leaning against the counter across from her, speaking quietly. They both looked up at the sound of my steps, and Charlie blushed lightly.

"Morning, kid," he mumbled. "Sue stopped by for breakfast. She brought donuts, isn't that nice?"

Sue smiled and offered me a box of bakery from the diner. I nodded gratefully and grabbed one. Apparently we were going to pretend like last night didn't happen. Maybe Charlie didn't even realize I knew. I was definitely okay with that.

"What time did you get in last night?" Charlie asked, shifting a little and staring at his feet. "I didn't hear you."

I choked on a chunk of donut and pounded my chest with a fist. "Late," I said vaguely. "I ran into Jacob Black, he gave me a ride home." The subject change was a bit of a copout, I know, but I was desperate.

"Jake's a good kid," Charlie said gruffly, smiling a little. "Every time I see him I swear he's gotten bigger. Never stops getting taller."

Sue chuckled. "I remember when Billy taught him how to drive. His legs were so long he could barely fit behind the wheel of that compact Billy used to tool around in."

Charlie laughed and the two of them chatted freely, reminiscing about the time Sue had to send Charlie to pick up a stranded and disgruntled Jacob halfway between Port Angeles and Forks. Apparently his car had broken down and he couldn't get a hold of anyone else, so he had to resort to dialing the Forks PD.

I watched the two of them, smiling and talking as if this were the most natural thing in the world. A warm feeling spread through my chest. My dad deserved this, and I thought Sue probably did too. So what if it was awkward for me to think about my father as man with … needs. I could get over it. Plenty of kids have been scarred by the sounds of their parents getting it on. Besides, I wasn't home _that_ often. Hopefully my next visit wouldn't be punctuated by muffled moans.

It was after eleven by the time Alice called me. She sounded perky enough, but I could hear the groans of less awake and probably more hung over people in the background.

"We're going to the diner for lunch," she said firmly. "We'll be by your house in fifteen minutes. See you soon!" Before I could say anything, she hung up. I wondered briefly if she expected me to argue. Maybe Edward had told her I was mad at him.

Was I mad at him? I mean, he had been a jerk last night. I didn't exactly relish watching him hit on that girl, what was her name… _Kim_. But I couldn't really be mad about that. It was practically my fault. No, I was more upset about the seriously angry look he gave me when he walked out of the bar to check on me. To check on me! Like I was some vulnerable five year old child who needed to be looked after. Did he resent having to stop flirting and go chasing me out into the night? He could have sent Emmett or Jasper. I sighed and pulled on a sweatshirt over my sleep t-shirt. I pushed my hair behind my ears and threw myself down onto the couch in the living room to wait.

When the knocking started, it wasn't Edward, or even Alice calling through Charlie's front door.

"Belllllllly!" Emmett boomed. "You are the only thing standing between me and an ass-ton of bacon. You better be ready to go!"

I pulled the door open as quickly as I could. Sue looked like she was trying to hold in her laughter, but Charlie just looked a little appalled. Before I could tell Emmett off about his behavior, Charlie had left the kitchen and was standing behind me with his arms crossed. He had his Bad Cop face on. I sniggered.

"I know your mother raised you better than that, son," he said sternly. The shift in Emmett's demeanor was almost comical. He straightened up, smiled politely, and nodded meekly.

"And I sincerely hope that you will not encourage _your_ child to act like a barbarian when calling on his lady friends," Charlie continued. I coughed. Calling on his lady friends? I interrupted before my dad could decide to start reading Emily Post.

"Okay, well we're going to get going, greasy food calls and all," I said, a trifle louder than was probably necessary. "Thanks for the etiquette tips, Dad. I think everyone learned some valuable lessons." I waved to Sue and pushed Emmett out the door, pulling it shut behind me.

When we got to the car, Emmett made a big show of opening the back passenger door for me. He bowed and scraped and made sure my seat belt was buckled before he shut the door softly and jumped back in the driver's seat. Rosalie watched the whole thing from the front seat with her eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"What?" he shrugged. "Chief Swan is a little scary."

Avery laughed from the car seat next to me. It was a breathy, gurgled sort of chuckle, but it was definitely a laugh. Rosalie grinned over her seat at him.

"Is Daddy funny?" she asked him. "I know, he's afraid of Bella's big, bad police chief dad. Yes he is, yes he is," she cooed. Emmett snorted.

"Whatever, the man has a gun. I'm not taking any chances."

"Where are Alice and everybody?" I asked casually. "When she called she made it sound like she was going to come and get me."

"She took mom's car over with Jasper and Edward. Since Dad's car has the car seat, we had to ride separately anyway, so I volunteered to come pick you up." I nodded and stared out my window. It didn't take us long to get to the diner, and we were pulling into the small parking lot in minutes.

Emmett unbuckled Avery from his seat and Rosalie hopped out of the car. I followed her mechanically. I was zoning out a little bit, trying to decide the best way to approach Edward. Should I act like nothing had happened? Maybe that was best.

Alice and Jasper were seated in a corner booth by the windows. She sat up straight and waved us over, smiling at me and patting the seat next to her. She scooted all the way over to the window and I sat down, a little impressed that she seemed to be completely untouched by the mass amounts of alcohol I had seen her drink the night before.

"I can't believe you left early last night," she said as soon as I sat down. "One minute you were talking to that tall, dark and handsome guy, nice choice by the way, and the next minute Edward is telling me that you went home! What happened?"

Edward chose that moment to slide into the booth next to me. "Yes, Bella, what happened?" he asked innocently. I glared at him. "I didn't really get the full story last night. Who exactly _is_ Jacob, besides the long lost son of your father's friend?"

Alice gasped. "Wait, Jacob? That wasn't by any chance Jacob _Black_, was it?"

I nodded, confused. She smiled wider and giggled. "Only you. In town for the first time in years and you manage to get hit on by the hometown hero." She looked past me to Edward, who was frowning now.

"You wouldn't remember, you were already in college by the time Jake got to high school, but he was the star of the basketball and baseball teams for most of his time at Forks High. Took us to state every year for three years, in both sports. He's a couple years younger than us, right?"

I nodded again, this time smiling smugly at Edward. I bet the girl he was flirting with last night wasn't nearly as gossip worthy. Then I stopped smiling abruptly, because the girl he was flirting with was there, in the diner. And she was walking this way.

"Edward!" she called. "Fancy seeing you here." He grinned back at me before turning to face her. I glowered at my menu. Alice prodded me impatiently.

"Well? Jacob?" she insisted. I sighed, suddenly not in the mood to brag anymore. The girl called Kim was laying it on a bit thick, giggling and touching her hair. What did she think was going to happen? I felt like waving a big sign that said _He lives in Chicago, you idiot_ in front of her face.

"Oh, he came up to me after you left me at the bar, made some comment about how I should make sure you slowed down." She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I told him about your hollow leg."

"And then what?"

"And then nothing. We talked, we went out for some air, and he gave me a ride home." I shrugged.

"That's it?" she asked, clearly disappointed.

"That's it." I agreed. I shot another quick glance at Edward and Kim. They were wrapping up their conversation. She brushed her hand lightly over his and winked, then waved goodbye to the rest of us and wandered back to where a group of girls sat a few tables over. I recognized one of them as her friend from last night.

"What did you guys do after I left?" I asked lightly, taking a drink of the coffee a waitress had just poured into our waiting cups.

"Well," Emmett began dramatically, winking at Edward, who groaned. "Let's just say you left about an hour too early." Edward was shaking his head frantically, eyes wide. Rosalie looked up from Avery at the sudden movement, glancing between Edward and me with an amused smile. I was really going to have to talk to her and find out what she suspected. She had been giving us those looks ever since poker night and I was getting paranoid.

"What happened?"

"Emmett decided Edward wasn't getting enough female attention," Alice said.

"Well he wasn't," Emmett interjected. "Playing the field is important. He spent like an hour flirting with one girl. And then she left, and he was back to square one! It's basic math. I had to step in."

"Did it ever occur to you that I didn't want to play the field?" Edward asked, exasperated.

"Whatever dude. That's just the residual relationship guilt talking. All guys want to play the field."

"So what happened?" I interrupted. The brotherly banter could go on all day, and my curiosity had peaked.

"Body shots happened," Emmett answered with a grin.

I looked slowly from Edward's mortified face to Emmett's gleeful one. "You did body shots… at Sporty's," I said slowly. "Aren't body shots more of a… I don't know… going clubbing, sexy hot hot kind of thing? Not a dirty sports bar townie kind of thing?"

"Thank you!" Edward exclaimed. "See? She gets it!"

"Gross, Edward. You let random Forks barflies lick you?"

"No, no, no," Emmett said, still grinning. He was clearly having way too much fun telling this story. "Of course they weren't random. We had a little contest. It's too bad you left, Bella, because I think you could have given some of those girls a run for their money."

"What kind of a contest?" I demanded.

"Lap dances," Emmett said shrugging. My jaw dropped and Edward flushed bright pink. "Oh, calm down. They kept their clothes on. Everyone went home happy. Plus we provided the whole bar with some much needed excitement and entertainment. It was a win-win. I should get commission."

"What self-respecting woman would actually volunteer for this so-called contest?" I was appalled. Forks always seemed like such a Rockwellian town. Who knew there was a seedy underbelly to the place? "Were you lacing their drinks or something? You're lucky you didn't get arrested for solicitation."

Rosalie snorted. "I don't get it either, Bella. I swear, for such a small town there are a lot of over-sexed crazy women here."

"I just conducted a little survey of the place," Emmett said. "Rosie helped. A surprising number of girls were willing to grind on Edward here for the chance to lick salt off of random pieces of his anatomy."

"You helped him?" I asked Rosalie.

"Well I didn't think any of those girls would actually do it," she snapped.

"Thanks," said Edward dryly.

"Look, last night was about getting your mojo back," Emmett persisted. "I would think you'd be grateful. You had twenty women drooling over the chance to touch you last night! Lauren's kept you under lock and key for a year while she got her jollies on the side. Don't you want to get out there and sample some of what you've been missing? I would."

"Would you?" Rosalie asked in a dangerously low voice.

"If I wasn't a happily married, completely blissed out father and husband, of course," he amended, kissing her sweetly. She smiled, apparently mollified.

Alice and Jasper had been relatively silent throughout the exchange, but when it was clear that Emmett was done speaking, Jasper cleared his throat.

"No one doubts your intentions were good," he said. "But maybe whoring your brother out wasn't quite the best way to go about restoring his confidence. It's only been a few days. Maybe we should all cool out and give Edward some space to deal."

"Thank you," Edward sighed, taking a gulp of coffee. He opened his menu with a snap and for a few minutes the table was silent as everyone decided on their orders. I mulled over our conversation while sneaking sideways glances at Edward.

There's no denying that Edward Cullen is a good looking man. But I guess between the fact that he was dating Lauren and the fact that he was spending most of his available free time with me or his siblings, I never took into account that other girls would be interested. That was stupid. As Alice had already pointed out to me, he was the perfect boyfriend. Of course they'd be interested. Of course they would fall all over themselves to get close to him, to talk to him, to be with him.

I told myself that if he ever broke up with her, when he broke up with her, I would wait until he had worked through his issues and then we could be together. Inherent in this plan was that he would wait for me. What if he didn't? I realized with a sinking feeling that I had been taking it for granted that Edward would see how good we would be, that he would want me like I wanted him. Once he saw how in demand he was, would he even look twice at me?

"Bella? Bella." Edward nudged me in the ribs.

"Ow! What, jerk?"

"Uh, do you know what you want?" He gave me a weird look, and I realized our waitress had arrived. Everyone else had ordered. Shit, I hadn't even looked at the menu yet. I flipped it open and ordered the first thing I saw, some omelet ominously named the "Forks Classic."

Conversation picked up then, Jasper teasing Rose and Alice about something they had done the night before. I wasn't really following what was being said. The group of girls that included Kim was eyeing Edward hungrily and whispering to each other. I glared at them.

"Any of those girls among your fan club from last night?" I asked Edward, after this had gone on for several minutes. He looked at me with an eyebrow arched before following my gaze the gaggle of giggling girls. He rolled his eyes and nodded.

"It was stupid, okay? Listening to Emmett usually is," he sighed, rolling his eyes again. "I wish I had just gone home when you left. Just—just stop looking at me like that okay?"

My frown softened a little at his pleading look, and I offered him a small smile. "I wish I had stayed. If nothing else, watching you get lap dances from a bunch of drunk girls was probably pretty friggin' hilarious."

He scowled. "I seem to remember you promising not to let me do anything stupid last night."

"A girl can only do so much, Cullen. I'm not a miracle worker."

"No, you just get distracted by pretty faces and then wander off with strangers," he sniped crankily.

"Okay, Dad. That's enough. You are not my keeper. And Jacob isn't a stranger, and I'm a big girl. Are we really going to have this conversation again?" He sounded almost jealous. Why on earth would he be jealous? He was the one getting lap dances and doing body shots. I felt like I had fallen into some kind of bizarro-world.

"No, we're not," he said shortly. With that, he turned his face away from me and refused to look at me for the rest of the meal. Emmett shot us a couple of questioning looks, but I shook my head slightly and he didn't say anything.

When we finished eating, Alice insisted that I come back to their house for the afternoon. She seemed oblivious to the fact that her brother hadn't spoken to me or looked at me at all in the last half hour. And she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Excellent, you just hop in with Emmett and Rosalie and we'll meet you back at the house! Mom and Dad heard about our game nights, and they wanted to participate. Family night wouldn't be the same without you, no excuses." Before I could say anything, Rosalie hooked her arm through mine and led me to the car.

When we pulled up to the house, she handed Avery to Emmett and cleared her throat. "Bella, can you help me for a second? I need to grab a few things from our room." She gave me a meaningful look and I nodded immediately.

"Absolutely. Lead on."

Once we were in Emmett's room with the door closed, she turned to me and crossed her arms.

"What's going on between you and Edward?" This wasn't the warm and fuzzy "Mommy Rose" I'd gotten to know. She looked nearly as intimidating as I had expected her to look at our first meeting.

"Um… nothing? We're friends, that's all."

She raised one eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Uh, yeah. I'm sure."

Her posture relaxed and she sighed, plopping down on the double bed. "Okay, well good. Because I think you guys could be really good together, and relationships that start with sneaking around usually don't end well."

"You… wait, what?" I was completely confused. Someone needed to write a manual for dealing with these Cullens. I felt like there was always some secret subtext that I just wasn't getting.

"Come on, Bella. You could cut the sexual tension between the two of you with a knife." I fidgeted, and she laughed.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of—when Emmett and I first got together the chemistry was so intense, I thought I was going to spontaneously combust. And don't get me started on the sex. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical when I heard that Lauren broke up with Edward and you were there. Frankly, I thought you were already hooking up on the side."

"Rose!"

"What? You two make me squirm just watching you. But you need to be careful here, you don't want to be the rebound girl."

"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?"

"Nope," she said. "It's going to happen, but you have to be the one to control it. Trust me, I know these things."

"Yeah, that's what Alice keeps saying. Trust me, Bella. He's perfect for you, Bella." I imitated Alice's lilting soprano, tilting my head and tossing my hair. "And then somehow I end up at a bar with a guy in love with the sound of his own voice who can't keep his hands to himself."

"Alice _wishes_ she had my skills," she insisted. "And do you really think that Edward would be like those other guys? Besides, it's not like I'm telling you anything you don't know. This isn't a blind date. You can have Edward. You just need to wind him up a little… let him realize how it could be. Keep your hands to yourself for a while. Be yourself, keep up the witty banter, he eats that shit up."

"What if…" I hesitated, not sure if I could share my doubts when Rosalie sounded so certain about everything. Then again, she seemed to have a handle on the situation. Maybe she could help me. "What if he doesn't want me?"

She smiled at me and stood up. "He wants you, Bella. He just doesn't know it yet."

*****

Esme was shockingly good at Apples to Apples.

"Cuddly…" gasped Alice, as the rest of us tried to compose ourselves. "Marquis de Sade? Oh my God that's awesome. I pick that one."

"Yes!" Esme cheered, doing a remarkably Emmett-like fist pump. Her sons looked at her in shock. "What? I raised you kids, why are you looking at me like that?" Carlisle just shook his head and grinned.

"Okay, okay," he said, interrupting our laughter. "My turn." He flipped over a green card and grinned. "Oh this should be good. _Delicious_."

Nearly everyone snorted and grabbed a card from their hands and threw it face down in front of Carlisle. I had a handful of rather disappointing cards, but finally, giggling a little, I settled on "My Body." Let's just say the apple didn't fall far from the tree where the Cullen boys were concerned.

"Alrighty, let's see what we've got here," Carlisle said, shuffling the cards quickly and arranging them upside down in front of him. One by one he flipped them.

**My Body**

**Barbara Walters **

**Mad Cow Disease**

**Choir Boys**

**Ear Wax**

**Festering Wounds**

**Glazed Donuts**

By the time he got to "Glazed Donuts," we were all gasping for breath again.

"Okay, well, I'm flattered, but I'm going to go ahead and discard 'My Body,'" he chuckled. I sighed lightly. "And 'Glazed Donuts,' while appropriate, shows a disappointing lack of creativity."

"What? No way, glazed donuts are totally delicious," Jasper protested. Alice patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"Honey, sometimes you have to put in nouns that don't actually work with the adjective. It's funnier, you see?" He pouted a little while Carlisle continued.

"Normally, 'Mad Cow Disease' and 'Ear Wax' would be big winners, but in light of other competition, I'm going to have to put those aside too." Emmett and Edward booed in disappointment, and Carlisle laughed and shook his head.

"Why am I not surprised those belonged to you two? Okay so that leaves us with 'Festering Wounds,' 'Barbara Walters,' and 'Choir Boys,'" he mused. "I'm afraid there really is no contest here. It's gotta be Choir Boys."

Esme cheered again and the rest of us groaned.

"Dad, you know that is seriously fucked up, right?" Emmett asked, laughing and shaking his head. "I think we just found out more about you and mom than any of us needed to know."

"Jealous? Jealous because I _won_?" Esme taunted, waving her green cards in front of Emmett's face.

"No, no, you can keep your creepy green cards," he smirked.

"Oh my God, are you two related," Rosalie laughed. "I hope Avery takes after my side of the family. The super competitiveness is not attractive."

"Right, because you're such a wilting flower. Always in the background, never getting worked up over being the best or anything," Emmett snorted.

As the two of them bickered, Edward leaned over to me and whispered in my ear. "Tell the truth, did you play the 'My Body' card?"

"It's not in the rules that I have to tell you that," I said daintily, grinning a little.

"Ew, Bella, that's my dad," he hissed, his breath hot on my ear. "The man was practically your second father."

I shrugged. "What can I say? Dr. Cullen is yummy." I nudged him a little, catching him by surprise and tipping him backwards. Edward had started talking to me again, rather reluctantly, by the time we started the game, although for a while he was still sending me sullen looks. I ignored him as best I could, and soon the silliness of the game broke through his icy exterior. Keeping Rosalie's advice in mind, I was doing my best to tease him like normal. When he fell over, I dove in and started to tickle his sides.

"Ack! Stop, gerroff!" he sputtered, twisting and squeaking. I found the spot near his hips where I knew he was especially ticklish and poked him sharply. He flailed out suddenly and knocked me in the nose with his fist. Surprised, I fell backwards with a whoosh, clutching my face.

He sat bolt upright, looking chagrined. "Shit! Are you okay?"

"Ow," I said stupidly. Pulling my hand away from my nose, I registered that sticky, warm blood was gushing from my nostrils. I felt oddly lightheaded.

"Oh my God, Bella, I'm so sorry," he moaned. His hands fluttered near my face helplessly. Everyone else noticed what was going on then, and Carlisle rushed to the kitchen to get a box of tissues. When he returned, Edward fisted a handful of tissues and started dabbing at my face.

"Tilt your head forward and pinch the bridge of your nose," Carlisle said calmly. "She's fine, son, calm down," he added to Edward. "It's just a nose bleed."

"I punched her in the face," he wailed, still trying to get to me with his tissues. He sounded so melodramatic in that moment that I couldn't contain my laughter. After a few seconds, Carlisle and Esme joined in, then Alice and Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie watched the whole scene with twin grins of amusement, and Edward glared at them all.

"This isn't funny," he insisted. "Come on, I'll help you get cleaned up."

He pulled me to my feet and led me toward the bathroom over my protests. Once we got there, he pushed me down onto the toilet seat and crouched down in front of me. His emerald eyes met mine, and for a second, I forgot about the fact that my face was gushing blood. We stared for a second, then he blinked and stood to grab a washcloth. The spell was broken.

"I'm so sorry," he said again. "You just took me by surprise, it was reflex."

I had to laugh at that. Here I was, trying to be cute and flirty, and I end up with a bloody nose, courtesy of the guy I was trying to impress. That'll teach me.

"Why are you laughing? I'm trying to apologize here," he insisted, crouching again and wiping at my face with the wet cloth. The warm water felt good on my face, and I leaned into his touch. "Can you see if you're still bleeding?"

I unpinched my nose a little, then pulled the tissues away. The blood flow seemed to have stopped. I smiled at him, but he just grimaced.

"Your face is covered in blood," he whispered, wiping my nose and lips remorsefully. I let my eyes flutter closed and focused on the way his hand caressed me through the washcloth. I was having trouble remembering why we were here. Suddenly the small room seemed very warm.

After a moment, Edward stopped touching my face and set the washcloth down. When I opened my eyes, Edward's face was closer. He was staring at me, his eyes strangely unfocused. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say. I blinked, but the strange tension didn't break. It was like we were locked in this weird bathroom-bubble. I had to get out of here. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. I definitely was _not _in control here.

"Everything okay in there?" Esme asked through the door.

That did it. Edward half-smiled at me and stood up, opening the door. "Just fine. The bleeding stopped."

I got out of there as quickly as I could after that. It was getting late, so I said my goodbyes and promised to be ready for our carpool to the airport the next morning. As I packed up my things that night, I tried to make sense of the weekend's events. Edward had been undeniably confusing. He napped on my legs in the airport, and told me sweetly that I broke his heart when I moved away. Then he spent an entire night surrounded by girls, but got angry when I spoke with a single guy. His behavior all day Saturday was hot and cold, and yet Rosalie insisted he was interested.

Rosalie was right about one thing, though. I was going to have to be the one in control. I needed a plan.

* * *

**A/N: Another update in less than a week! Woot! Thanks for your feedback on the last chapter, you're still winning the review war against twilighted, congrats. I'd love to hear from you lurkers though, there are more than 500 of you out there getting alerts... tell me what you think!  
**

**Come play on the thread, we have lots of fun!**

**http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670**


	13. Moments

Going to work after a four day weekend was torture. I had to get up early, put on business clothes, and dial my brain back to office mode. Besides the normal back to work blues, I was dwelling endlessly on the incredibly tense four hours I had spent in the car with Edward, inches away and making polite conversation, studiously pretending like our moment in the bathroom didn't happen. And the icing on the cake: the temporary truce that I had somehow established with James had completely evaporated in the post-holiday air.

"Did you have a nice vacation?" he hissed at me as I walked past his desk Monday morning. I stopped and turned slowly, my face a mask of confusion.

"I did," I said calmly. "How was your Thanksgiving, James?"

"Fantastic," he spat. "I spent most of the weekend here, picking up slack for your lazy ass."

It wasn't my fault he drew the short stick. We all played weekend duty sometimes, keeping on top of whatever needed to be updated. It wasn't a hard job, as there was a full staff that worked on the weekend edition and the writing was usually done in advance. Still, the powers that be insisted that someone be present from our department every weekend, just in case. I had spent my first required weekend playing solitaire and reorganizing my desk.

James had been the one to stick around on Saturday, and I was fairly certain Chuck had sent him out into the throngs of shoppers to get material on Black Friday. Apparently he was feeling bitter that I had ducked out after Wednesday.

"Don't be such a baby, James, you know you'll get extra time for New Years to compensate," I said. My tone was probably a little too sharp, but it was early and I wasn't in the mood. "Suck it up and do your job."

He opened his mouth to respond, but thankfully Seth walked off the elevator just then, glowing pink from the chill wind and grinning ear to ear.

"Did you miss me?" he crowed, slinging an arm around my shoulder and squeezing me a little. "How was your Thanksgiving, Bellarina?"

"Um, Seth, are you high?" I asked, laughing a little.

"What? Can't a guy be in a good mood?" I gave him a skeptical look and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine, fine. I'll calm down. Sup, Jimmy?" he grinned at James, who gave him a sour glare.

"What, are you sleeping with Swan, now?" he shot back. Seth's grin fell.

"And there goes my good mood. Thanks, James," he said, shaking his head and walking away. "Welcome back, Bella."

I turned to follow him, but was stopped again by James' sneering voice. "I guess I'm not surprised. I mean, it's not like you have any actual talent, why not use your other… assets?"

His nastiness totally caught me off guard, and I didn't even know how to respond. Crying or yelling would give him what he wanted, so I rolled my eyes and walked away without responding. When I got to my cube, I sat in my chair and rubbed my eyes, trying to clear my head.

James and I hadn't been friendly over the last month, but at least the blatant malice of my first week at work had faded to the background. I didn't know what had happened to bring it back, but it would certainly make working with him in any capacity difficult, let alone giving him critiques on his work.

A gentle knock on my wall brought me out of my reverie.

"You okay?" Seth asked, smiling sympathetically.

"I guess," I sighed. "I don't get it. I mean, I don't want to be his best friend, but I would settle for him not calling me a whore." Seth's eyes flashed.

"He said that?"

"Not in so many words," I said dryly, meeting his eyes for the first time. "He accused me of using my feminine wiles to get around the fact that I can't do my job."

"We'll tell Chuck. He shouldn't get to say that shit to you." Seth turned as if to go, but I stopped him.

"No, I'm going to handle this. If I act like a professional, he'll stop eventually, right? He'll get bored. I just wish I knew why he hated me so much."

Seth hesitated, staring at his feet.

"Seth," I said slowly. "Do you know something you're not telling me?"

He sighed. "James applied for your job. They usually promote from within, so when they created the position he was sure he had it. Hell, we all were. When Chuck announced he was bringing you in… someone with no work experience from across the country, well, the guys were a little pissed. I guess James hasn't gotten over it." I groaned at this revelation.

"Alright, well telling Chuck isn't going to get me anywhere. This is between James and me," I said firmly. "So just let me handle it."

Seth glowered out the door of my cube in James' direction, and I wasn't keen on starting any inter-office of drama, so I tried to distract him.

"So why were you in such a good mood this morning? That was a mighty big smile you had going."

"I had a great time with my family this weekend, and I woke up happy," he said. "Besides, it was slow around here on Friday. Hardly anyone came in." He paused and cleared his throat.

"I missed you. We should hang out, do something soon." When I didn't say anything, he rushed on, "You know, head back to Ivan's, grab a beer and some wings."

I nodded slowly. "Sure, I'd like that."The invitation made me a little leery, mainly because his flirting had become more obvious over the last couple of weeks. But Seth was a good friend too, and I enjoyed his company immensely. Plus he was my main ally in the war against the chauvinists. Now was not the time to burn bridges because of a little harmless flirting.

"Excellent," he beamed. "You free for happy hour tonight? They always have the games playing on the big screens."

"Sure," I said again.

"Great, so we can walk down after work tonight! I'll see you later, Bells." He left humming brightly to himself.

Seth may have been having a good day, but mine continued to spiral downwards. Alice was in a big meeting for something she was excitedly describing as her "big break," so I was left to fend for myself at lunchtime. I microwaved a bag of popcorn and drank a diet coke at my desk. As heavenly as a four day weekend sounded on the front end, on the back end it was nothing but work, work, work. My inbox was loaded with stories and half-finished drafts, which always made me cranky. I never liked leaving things in my inbox for the next day, and the mountain of papers only seemed to grow as the day went on.

James lurked around all day, but I managed to stay out of his way. Luckily, he didn't have anything due for editing until Wednesday. I was hoping a little avoidance and giving him extra time to decompress from our confrontation would make working with him easier, but I wasn't going to hold my breath.

When five o'clock finally arrived, I heaved a sigh of relief and threw down the article I was marking up. It could wait. This god-forsaken day was over and I was going to get a beer. Seth showed up minutes after five, already wearing his thick winter jacket.

"You ready?" He flashed me an infectious grin, and despite my pissy mood, I smiled back.

"Not gonna lie, I'm ready for a cold beer and some hot wings."

"A woman after my own heart! Let's blow this popsicle stand."

I followed him toward the elevators, noticing with a flash of thanks that James was not sitting in his cube as we passed.

Ivan's was crowded, so we ended up wedged at the end of the bar, squeezed together like sardines.

"Is it always like this on Monday?" I asked, gaping at the crowd.

"Twenty five cent wings," Seth said, grinning. A waitress slid a steaming plate in front of us with our beers, and I sighed gratefully. He chuckled as I grabbed a wing and took a deep drink of my beer.

"It's nice to see a girl who can eat."

"Well, eating in front of people has never been one of my hang ups," I said, biting into a wing and smearing sauce on my chin. I laughed and wiped at it with a napkin. "Although maybe it should be, I'm sorry I'm such a slob."

He shrugged. "Whatever, you're comfortable around me. I like that." We ate in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"Did you get a lot of hot wings in Phoenix?" Under his bright and pleasant demeanor, he seemed a little nervous, though for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

"You know, it was more about barbeque and Tex Mex down there. Don't get me wrong, you can find some wicked hot sauce, but out of all the things I miss from Arizona, I don't think hot wings make the top ten."

"Really? What do you miss then?"

I was touched by the question. I hadn't spoken to anybody about home since that first coffee date with Edward in October. I had been so wrapped up in adapting to my life in Chicago that I had forgotten to be homesick. Thinking about Arizona made me want to call my mother. I'd never called her over Thanksgiving, and while we weren't the most traditional family, it was still inexcusable for me to forget to call her for such an important holiday. I made a resolution to call her soon… and book a flight to Phoenix for Christmas.

"Bella? Earth to Bella. You okay?"

I blinked and flashed Seth a smile. "Fine, just zoning out. I haven't thought about home in a while, you know? Hmm, things I miss…"

I launched into a description of the landscape: how the dry brown earth met the wide blue sky in a way that made you believe that the world was truly flat. I described the smells and sounds of the city, what it was like to camp in the desert with my mother as a child, and how much coyotes had terrified me. Seth had grown up in Chicago and had never be farther away from home than Missouri, so he peppered me with questions. The relaxed feeling I usually got around him resurged, and I found myself laughing as I described my mother's foray into "desert gardening." I was just getting to the punch line when a familiar voice interrupted me.

"Fancy seeing you here, Miss Swan."

Seth's stared over my shoulder, startled by the voice, and I whipped around. Emmett was standing at the bar, looking huge and intimidating as always. Edward stood slightly behind him, staring at me with his lips set in a tight line.

"Emmett! What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and glanced at Seth. I felt like smacking him, but that would probably be counter-productive. Instead, I bowed to the inevitable.

"I'm here for happy hour with my coworker. Seth, this is Emmett and Edward, we kind of grew up together. Guys, this is Seth, my office buddy."

Edward's shoulders relaxed a little at the introduction, but he didn't speak. Instead he just gave a curt little head bob in Seth's direction, never taking his eyes from mine. _What the hell is his problem?_ We hadn't spoken since parting ways at the airport in Seattle, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was suddenly looking so hostile. Things had been awkward, sure, but the glaring was totally uncalled for.

"Oh, you're Seth! We've heard all about you," Emmett said, shaking Seth's hand. I groaned inwardly. Seriously, Emmett? Not helping.

"Yes, I told them all about how you were the only friendly face in the office that first week," I said, trying to downplay Emmett's comment. The last thing I needed was for Seth to think I was gushing about him to my friends.

"Do you guys mind if we sit with you? There isn't much room anywhere else," Emmett continued, blissfully ignorant of the shut-the-hell-up face I was giving him. Without waiting for an answer, he sat down in the stool next to me and pulled another stool between us for Edward. The end result was that I was sitting uncomfortably close to both the Cullen boys facing Seth, who looked rather bemused at our sudden change of circumstances.

"So, Seth, what is it you do with Bella?" I almost choked on my beer. Emmett was taking his need to embarrass me to new heights. The innuendo was clear in his tone, but thankfully Seth didn't seem to pick up on it. Edward still hadn't said anything.

"I write a sports blog, and I have a column. I also do other sports coverage when they need an extra body."

"Wow! Are you Seth Cleary? I read your stuff every week. Although I have a bone to pick with you about your take on the Seahawks' season…"

And just like that, they were off in their own little football world. I sighed and shook my head. Men. Of course they showed up during my harmless non-date with Seth, when I was actually enjoying myself and didn't need the intervention. Where were they when I was out with Aro, king of dead slang? Or Captain Feel-me-up, Demetri?

I turned to Edward and smiled. "So what brings you guys down here?"

He ruffled his hair a little and glanced over my shoulder at Seth and Emmett before answering. "Emmett's shop isn't too far from here, and he wanted to meet up for some wings. I didn't have anything else going on after school, and I haven't been to Ivan's in forever."

He paused and shifted awkwardly, staring at his hands. "Sorry to barge in on your, um… your date. Emmett saw you guys over here and I couldn't stop him." He kicked the rungs on his stool before finally looking up at me.

I laughed, and he frowned back at me. "You thought I was on a date?"

His eyebrows drew together, creating a wrinkle at the bridge of his nose. "Weren't you?"

"Do you really think I'd let you sit with us if I was?"

"Uh, don't take this personally, but you don't have the best track record. If this date was anything like your other dates, I would think you'd welcome the interruption. You know what? I take it back, I'm not sorry at all. You should probably be thanking us, judging by past experiences."

"One, not a date. Two, I was enjoying myself, which should have been obvious by the smile on my face. Three, you only know about the dates that Alice set me up with. I happen to have a very high success record for dates I actually volunteer for. Four, I don't appreciate your tone."

"You volunteer for dates?" he snorted. "I'll believe that when I see it."

Emmett and Seth had moved on from football to fantasy baseball, another topic I had no interest in.

"I'm very picky," I said, smiling at Edward. "After all, I only let _you_ take me on a pity date, and you're fairly highly qualified as far as dating resumes go."

Take that, Edward Cullen. My comment only seemed to amuse him, though. He raised his eyebrows and gave me his first smile of the evening.

"Highly qualified? Do tell."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't expect me to puff your ego, it's not going to happen."

"No, no, you made the statement, now you have to back it up! Those are the rules."

"Fine," I huffed. "You have a job, you're musical, and you don't live with your parents."

"That's hardly highly qualified," he laughed. "At least half the men in this city fit that description. Come on, don't hold back."

"You make me laugh," I conceded. "And I enjoy talking to you. As an added bonus you're pretty easy on the eyes. Don't make me keep talking, have you no shame?"

"Nope. We're down to about 15 percent now, being generous with the sense of humor standard. I'll grant you that's probably highly qualified, but you said I'm not qualified enough. I would say to qualify as very picky, you'd have to be drawing from, oh, let's say five percent of the population. What gets a guy the extra ten percent boost?"

"Only a teacher could make this about math. I don't know, attraction? Sparks, butterflies? Is that specific enough for you?"

He just stared at me for a moment, almost like he didn't understand what I was saying. The smile slid off his face, and his eyebrows knit themselves together again. Pursing his lips a little, he nodded slowly.

"That'll do."

I couldn't think of anything else to say, and he was still staring at me. Not glaring, like earlier, but staring like he had never seen me before. It was unnerving, and I felt goose bumps start to prickle up my arm. I felt my face get warm, and when my knee brushed against his I practically jumped out of my chair. He smiled, just enough to cause a cute little crinkle near his eyes, and I almost died right there.

"I'm telling you, you have to take Saunders over Jones," Emmett's voice broke into our bubble. "Edward, tell him I'm right."

Without a word, Edward turned and joined their conversation, leaving me overheated and confused. I excused myself to the bathroom. The boys didn't even look up, but Seth gave me a cursory sort of head bob. I bolted, flying toward the dirty two stall restroom like it was the last safe place on earth.

I splashed cold water on my face and tried to regroup. We had been having a moment before Emmett interrupted, I was sure of it.

_A moment, Bella? Really?_

Whatever you call it, then, I don't know. Jesus, I needed to get a grip. Arguing myself in the restroom of a crowded bar was probably not an indicator of insanity, right? Right. I glanced up at the mirror and groaned. Mascara was running down my cheeks, and my eyes were black and smudged. I grabbed a paper towel and tried to repair the damage, but I only succeeded in making it worse. It took five minutes to get rid of the black marks on my cheeks and eyelids to the point where I could cover them up with foundation. Thank God I had put my compact in my purse this morning.

I stepped back into the bar and scanned the crowd for my boys. Emmett and Seth were laughing together, and Edward sat slightly apart, staring out into the bar. When I got back to my seat, Emmett glanced over at me.

"Did you fall in? I will never understand what women do in bathrooms. Is there some kind of secret clubhouse attached or what?"

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

"I see how it is," he sniffed, crossing his arms and pouting a little. "Whatever, I'll just ask Rosie."

"Rose won't tell you, it's a heavily guarded secret. More than her life's worth to tell you."

Edward laughed and scooted closer. "You'll tell me though right? I told you my clubhouse secrets, it's only fair."

"No, that was more of a peacekeeping mission. We didn't agree to an information exchange; I really don't have to tell you anything."

Seth watched our banter, his head bobbing back and forth comically.

"How long have you guys known each other?" he asked.

"I grew up with these lugs and their sister back in Washington. Somehow we all ended up back in the same city again, and we reconnected when I moved here."

"Wow, that's kind of unreal," Seth said. Sudden understanding lit his face. "Are these your poker buddies, Bella?"

"More like my second family. But yeah, these are the guys I was playing with a couple of weeks ago."

Had it really only been the week before last that I had my disasterous dinner with Edward and Lauren? And less than a week ago when we walked in on Lauren and Jessica? It seemed like months, not days, ago. I was tired just thinking about it.

"This has been really fun, but I think I'm going to head out," I said, patting Seth on the shoulder and smiling at Edward and Emmett.

"Are you sure? Monday night football! We were just talking about what a killer game it's going to be." Emmett was bouncing on his stool, and Seth nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, I should get home. I'm tired, and I don't think I'd make it through the game."

"Where are you parked?" Edward asked, standing up next to me.

"Oh, I'm back near the office. Don't worry about it."

"Nonsense, you're not walking back alone in the dark. I'll come with you. See you later Emmett, nice to meet you Seth."

They waved us off, already caught up in the pre-game show that was playing on the big screen in front of them.

We walked back toward Tribune Tower in silence. The sidewalks were mostly empty, and the rush hour crowds of walkers bundled up and rushing into the warm buildings had petered to a slow trickle in and out. The streets were hushed, and tiny snowflakes fluttered around us as we walked. I sighed in contentment.

"You know, it's been years since I've seen snow."

"You'll be sick of it by Christmas, I promise."

"I don't see how." I danced ahead of him, twirling a little with my arms outstretched.

"You look like a little kid," he laughed, jogging to catch up with me. I slipped a little on a patch of slush and he gripped my shoulder to steady me. I looked up at him, laughing under my breath. Snow was collecting on his hair and eyelashes and on the shoulders of his charcoal grey wool coat. Under the streetlights, he looked like some kind of an angel.

"I feel like a little kid. If I wasn't afraid of breaking my neck, I'd race you to the car."

"But since you have _some _sense of self-preservation, I assume we'll be walking?"

"You assume correctly."

I laced my arm around his back and, his arm still around my shoulders, we walked another block, coming to stop next to my car.

"Are you free on Friday night?"

I looked up at him in surprise. "What, you want another pity date? Kind of needy, aren't you?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, I just thought you might want to hang out, maybe get dinner. No big deal." He shrugged.

"Can we go back to Brennan's?"

"Absolutely." He grinned. "Maybe I'll see if Angela has off. You'd love her boyfriend Ben, he's a great guy."

"Great," I said, hoping that this prediction was a bit more accurate than the last time he told me I'd love someone. "I'll see you on Thursday. Your place, right?"

"Yeah, see you there."

Crap. The non-date with Edward on Friday was really going to push up my strategic planning sessions. I would need back-up. Rosalie for sure, but who else? Maybe I should make this an all-out estrogen fest.

It only took a few phone calls. Rosalie was in as soon as I promised her a night free of babies and men, and I sweetened the pot with margaritas. And since Rose was already so involved, I thought it would be rude to exclude Alice. I didn't want to give her an all-out explanation until I had to, so I skirted the issue by calling it a girls' night. Lastly, I called Kate, figuring that an outsider's perspective couldn't hurt. She was excited to meet Alice and Rose, who I had talked about extensively on our shopping trip.

"I hope you've abandoned your ridiculous boycott," she teased.

"Actually, that's kind of the reason for the girl's night."

"Seriously? That's great! Is there any guy in particular, or have you just gotten over your phobia of first dates?"

"Do you remember me telling you about Edward?"

"Ooooh, the one with the heinous girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend."

"The plot thickens! What about him?"

"I have no idea. Hence the girl's night."

She laughed and offered to bring her best friends Tanya and Irina, both nurses with her at the hospital.

"They know about men," she said with a knowing chuckle.

I told her the more the merrier. I was in over my head with all this feminine scheming and dreaming. I had never felt like more of a girl, and I wasn't sure that was a good thing. My past relationships just kind of happened, no work involved. I knew that wouldn't be the case here, but I had no idea how to proceed.

I fell into bed that night vacillating between dread over going to work on Tuesday and excitement over finally moving a tiny step forward with Edward. I gave up even pretending not to care. Edward was funny and handsome and sweet, and yes, a little screwed up. I wanted him.

*****

I walked into work the next morning with my head high, determined to be cool and controlled if I ran into James. I needn't have worried. Seth told me he was out of the office all day getting some interviews and outside information for the assignment he had due Wednesday.

Without James to stress out about, my morning was fairly pleasant. To top it off, Alice was free for lunch. We met at a favorite spot of ours, a sushi bar with the best spicy tuna rolls I've ever tasted.

Alice was still vibrating with excitement over her meeting on Monday.

"I'm only assisting, but it's a huge step up from my current position. If I do well with this project I could get a promotion, which means no more slave labor! Thank God I have until after New Years to get a presentation together."

"That's great, Alice. I'm sure you'll be a huge hit."

"I know," she sighed happily, popping a roll into her mouth and smiling a little. "Now, why the sudden interest in a girls' night? I know you, Bella Swan, you have an ulterior motive."

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you. Not that I'm not excited about it, but what gives?"

"Okay," I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. "So you know how I wanted you to stop setting me up?"

"Did you change your mind? Oh, Bella, I have just the guy for you, he's perfect—"

"No, I haven't changed my mind, will you just listen?"

She shut her mouth with a snap, and gave me an encouraging nod.

"You are not to get carried away with this information, do you understand me?"

She grinned a little wider, knowing that I was about to reveal something big. I only hoped she could keep her mouth shut to her brothers. The whole thing would come crashing down if Edward found out, and Emmett does not have the best track record with secrets.

"I may be interested … just a little … in Edward." Okay, so I was still avoiding the truth, but if I told Alice that I had been crushing on her brother for a month she would be even more out of control. Better to understate the situation.

Her mouth fell open. Thankfully, she had already swallowed her tuna roll. I didn't let her recover, hoping to get it all out there before she could have us married off in her head

"I don't want to rush things, and I don't want to scare him off, and I need some advice. You are not to tell anyone else about this, you are not to discuss it with anyone without my permission, and you are absolutely _forbidden_ to give Edward any funny ideas. Do you understand me?"

"Are you done?"

"Yes. You may speak."

"I knew it!" she squeaked, running around our table to give me a hug. "Didn't I say I wanted to hook you and Edward up? Didn't I say you two were perfect for each other?"

"I don't believe you did. Actually, I think you set me up on four disasterous blind dates, all of which you guaranteed would be perfect for me."

She waved her hand. "Semantics. I saw the way you were watching him at Sporty's. You're so easy to read."

"Whatever, Alice. Anyway, that's what tomorrow night is about. I need a game plan."

Popping another tuna roll in her mouth, she nodded thoughtfully.

"I think we can handle that."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for your continued support of this story! Your reviews are really awesome (you're still kicking twilighted's butts!) and I enjoy hearing from all of you! The thread has been picking up lately **... **don't be shy, stop on by! **www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670

**Next up... girls' night and another edition of Cullen Family Night! Leave me a review?**


	14. Pick ups and Spares

How much tequila does one buy to provide margaritas for a tiny girl who can drink her own weight, a new mom, and three virtual strangers who like to party? On a Wednesday night, no less?

Girls' night had seemed like a logical solution yesterday. I had no ideas on how to ease Edward into changing our relationship; I didn't even know where to begin testing the waters. Now, the idea of getting together with a group of giggling girls to figure that out seemed beyond foolish.

What was I thinking, inviting these women over to my apartment for booze and advice? What did I honestly think they were going to say that would magically solve my problems? It was far more likely to be an awkward evening of uncomfortable and embarrassing conversation which would yield no helpful information at all.

By the time I got home from the grocery store on Wednesday night, I was bordering on panicky. Seth had noticed my agitation that day and tried to talk to me about. Of course, he attributed it to James' behavior.

"Is he giving you trouble again? Bella, that's harassment and you don't have to be tough and deal with it—"

"No, it's fine. He growled at me a little when he dropped his piece off this morning, but otherwise things have been pretty quiet." There were some choice words that accompanied the growl, of course, but I didn't feel like telling Seth that.

He ducked down a little bit and looked me in the eye.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem tense."

"I'm fine," I said breezily, waving him off and heading back toward my cube. "Don't worry about it."

Right. Who was I kidding? I was freaking out.

When Alice and Rose arrived, I was putting the finishing touches on a taco salad and starting some guac. Alice made a beeline for the tequila and margarita mix, humming a little as she pulled out some ice cubes and plugged in my blender.

"I've been thinking about this all day," she sighed, measuring shots into the pitcher. "When are Kate and her friends getting here?"

I glanced at the clock. "She said they would get here as close to six as possible, and its 6:10, so any minute now."

As if on cue, there was a knock on my door. I maneuvered around Alice and Rose, who was sneaking bites of taco salad, and crossed my tiny living room. Taking a deep breath and plastering a smile on my face, I flipped the lock and opened the door.

Let it be known that I have a decent self-image. I went through an awkward phase in high school, but who didn't, really? Most of the time, I'm a fairly confident woman, even if Edward's good looks do leave me a little speechless sometimes. Kate's friends took my breath away and made me feel downright plain. I briefly considered taking a leaf out of Lauren's book, that's how beautiful they were.

On Kate's right was a tall, slim woman with long, corn silk hair and ice blue eyes. She had high cheekbones and a slightly haughty look on her face, although she gave me a small smile in greeting as she followed Kate past me into the apartment.

Kate's other friend was not quite as tall and modelesque, although she had curves that more than made up for it. Her strawberry curls fell in organized chaos around her shoulders, and she flashed me a dazzling smile as she thrust a hand toward me.

"You must be Bella," she said. "I'm Tanya."

"Nice to meet you, Tanya," I stuttered. "Please, come in."

Kate grinned and gave me a hug. "It's great to see you again, Bella. This is Irina, and you just met Tanya obviously. Sorry we're not exactly dressed for a party."

I shrugged. "We're staying in, it's no big deal. I've got food and Alice is making margaritas, so just make yourselves at home."

Alice chose that moment to waltz out of the kitchen with a tray full of margaritas. "Okay, let's figure out how to get you into my brother's pants."

Rosalie followed her with the food. "Subtle, Alice."

I made some clumsy introductions, and then Kate dove right in.

"So, tell us about this guy. He must be really something to make you break the boycott so soon."

I rolled my eyes and bought some time by taking a big bite of guacamole. Rose, clearly catching on to my stalling, cut in.

"He's a little broken. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him for most of their relationship, and he left her last week." I felt a twinge of guilt for keeping the real details quiet, especially since they would probably have an impact on the kind of advice I received. That was selfish, though, and I had promised Edward. Even if I thought it was a ridiculous secret, he trusted me, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Last week?" Irina said in surprise. "You move fast."

"No, this is meant to be," Alice said dreamily. "He just has to figure things out for himself."

"So you're looking for ways to encourage him," Tanya said. "Seduction. We can work with that."

"No! I don't want to seduce him," I said, flustered.

"Well, you kind of do," Rose interrupted. "The sex talk is a bit premature though."

"Yeah, you probably don't want to sleep with him until you've had at least one real date," Alice said thoughtfully. I stared at her, but she looked completely serious.

"I have a strict three date rule," said Irina. "You never know with some guys."

"Can we back up?" I asked weakly. "I don't even know if he's interested."

"Oh, there are lots of little signs you can look for," Tanya cut in. "Everything is about body language."

I felt like I should be taking notes.

"Body language?"

"Yeah, you know. How long does he maintain eye contact with you? Does he touch you casually on your arm or your back? I read somewhere that if a guy's chest and shoulders are facing toward you, it means he's interested. Something about orienting himself around you, even when he's talking to other people."

"Couldn't all those things be indicators of friendship?" I thought back to our impromptu staring contest in the bar on Monday night, and the time he brought me ice cream and tickled me until I couldn't breathe. Was he interested, even then? Impossible.

"Maybe," Tanya shrugged. "But the touching thing… that definitely crosses the platonic line."

I blushed a little and tried to cover it by taking a drink. Unfortunately, Alice noticed.

"Bella! Has there been touching?"

Rose choked on her taco salad and Kate laughed.

"No touching," I mumbled. "We're friends, we act friendly."

"How friendly?" she pressed.

"Not friendly enough, clearly," laughed Tanya.

"Well, you'll just have to ramp things up, won't you?" Kate said with a devious smirk. "It's like Tanya said: seduction."

I put my head in my hands and Rosalie patted my back. I'm sure she was trying to be sympathetic, but it just made me feel even more out of my element.

"Have any of you guys ever actually been in this situation? I don't want to make him uncomfortable, and I definitely don't want things to be weird between us."

"Have I ever told you how Jasper and I got together?" Alice asked.

I thought about it for a second, but all I could remember was that they had met through Edward.

"No."

"Well for me it was love at first sight," she sighed, smiling to herself as she remembered. "I met him and Edward out for dinner somewhere and we hit it off right away. I was ecstatic— until I found out he had a girlfriend."

That was brand new information. It was hard to imagine Jasper without Alice, since every time I saw him they were making ga-ga eyes at each other.

"We started hanging out, at first with Edward, and then later just the two of us. We never did anything inappropriate," she said quickly. "But we were close. When he broke up with Maria, all I wanted to do was pounce on him, but I knew it was important to give him space."

"So what happened?" She had officially captured my attention. The situation was eerily familiar.

"One day he called me and asked to meet me for dinner. When he got to the restaurant, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. We've been together ever since."

"How does that help me at all? I don't think Edward is just going to decide to kiss me randomly some day."

"He might," she argued. "I'm saying that all this plotting may not even be necessary. You just need to be patient and wait for him to catch up."

"That could take forever," Irina said, rolling her eyes at Alice. "You don't need to sit around waiting like a twelve year old girl. Take charge. Show him what he could have."

"I don't know…" Stuff like that probably worked for Irina. She looked like a bit of a man-eater. My style was subtler than that.

"You don't have to hump his leg or anything," she said. "But there's nothing stopping you from flirting with him."

"Trust me, she already does," Rose snorted. I stared at her, open mouthed.

"What?" She shrugged. "You do. Don't worry, he flirts back."

"You're making that up," I accused. "I don't flirt with him, and he definitely does not flirt with me."

"Whatever," she sighed, dipping back into the taco salad. "Irina is right, though. Oooh, you know what really got Emmett? The hair touch. His eyes used to glaze over every time."

"Ah, yes." Tanya nodded, and Alice smirked.

"Guys? What the hell is the hair touch?" It wasn't like I was a complete novice, but I never knew there were technical terms for this stuff.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Kate sighed, shaking her head. "The hair touch. You know, run your fingers through your hair while he's watching? Maybe toss it around a bit? It would work so well for you, your hair is beautiful. It's not rocket science. Actually, any kind of self touch works well. It gets them hot and bothered."

"That sounds dirty."

"Isn't that the point?"

She had me there.

As the margaritas disappeared, the girl talk got wilder. Alice was the only one who stayed tight-lipped about her sex life, insisting that she didn't kiss and tell. Rosalie and Irina bonded rather quickly over the ridiculous pick-up lines they had been hit with over the years. The reenacted their favorites for us as we fell over each other laughing.

"Just call me milk baby, I'll do your body good," Rosalie crooned huskily, flexing her muscles and winking at Irina.

"You see my friend over there?" Irina shot back. "He wants to know if _you_ think _I'm_ cute." She waggled her eyebrows and grabbed Rose's butt.

"Stop! Stop!" I gasped, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Do those things ever work?"

"Well they usually leave me feeling pretty good about myself," Tanya said laughing. "But past that, I don't think I've ever responded to one."

"Emmett got me talking to him with a pick-up line," Rose admitted. "But I had been checking him out for most of the night, so I don't think it counts."

"What'd he say?" I asked, thinking it was probably something raunchy and ridiculous.

"How much does a polar bear weigh?" she asked.

"Um, I don't know, how much?"

"Just enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Emmett," she responded, a soft smile lighting her up. "It was so dorky and sweet, and there he was—this big, scary looking guy with the cutest dimples I had ever seen. I had to talk to him."

Alice snorted. "Yeah, that sounds like Emmett." Her eyes wandered to the clock on my DVD player.

"Holy shit! Is it midnight? I have to go," she got up and stumbled a little.

"You're not driving," Rose said firmly. "Bella, can we crash here? Emmett can pick me up in the morning and Alice can drive home before work."

"Absolutely, the couch pulls out. I'm sorry I didn't realize it was so late."

Kate, Tanya, and Irina yawned and stretched and gathered their things.

"We should probably get going too," Kate said. "Thanks for inviting us, I'll call you and we'll get together soon, okay?"

"Are you okay to drive?" I asked, giving her a hug.

"Oh yeah, it's been over an hour since I had my last drink." She hugged me back and walked to the door, Tanya and Irina in tow.

"Go get him, tiger," Tanya said, grinning cheekily. "Just remember…seduction."

"Sometimes a little leg humping is just what the doctor ordered," Irina added, giggling a little. She was swaying on her feet, so I chalked that comment up to drunk-speak and just smiled.

I got Rose and Alice situated on the pull-out and fell into bed, exhausted and slightly intoxicated.

When my alarm went off the next morning, my head was pulsing dully, and I could hear noises in my kitchen. For a second I panicked, imagining intruders, but then I remembered that I still had company.

Rosalie smiled at me when I finally made my way into the kitchen.

"Alice already left; she wasn't hung over at all. She wanted to get to the office early this morning so she got up and drove home about an hour ago."

We drank coffee quietly for a while. It was nice, having someone there in the morning, even though we weren't talking. Living alone didn't bother me, but there were times I missed having a roommate around. Eventually, Emmett called to say he was on his way, and I went to get dressed for work. We walked down to the street together to wait.

"I know you were a little embarrassed last night, but thanks for being such a good sport," Rose said. "We just want you to be happy, maybe go on a _good_ date for once."

I rolled my eyes. "Why does everyone think I can't go on a good date? I have had plenty of good dates. I've even had boyfriends."

"Since getting to Chicago and having Alice dictate your love life?"

I frowned.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," she laughed.

"Well, Alice is involved in this," I pointed out. "How do I know this won't be a disaster too?"

"Because I'm involved. And because you two are actually good together." Emmett pulled up then, honking as he slid to a stop in the slush. She shot me a smile and walked away.

"Have a little faith, Bella."

*****

By the time I got to Edward's that night, I was grouchy and exhausted. It was starting to feel like I was fighting an underground mutiny at work. Not only was James making snarky comments about all the reasons I wasn't good at my job, but Will and Joel had started too. They were subtler about it, though, starting quiet conversations in the break room that stopped abruptly when I entered. Garrett was sympathetic and Seth was livid, but I couldn't think of any way to deal with the situation without involving management, and I was certain that telling Chuck would just make things worse. It was like being thirteen all over again, except instead of catty preteen girls I was fighting grown men, supposed professionals.

Alice opened the door, looking over her shoulder into the living room.

"Hold your horses, I'm just answering the door," she yelled. "Hey Bella, are you ready for… what's wrong?"

Her cheery smile disappeared when she saw the look on my face.

"Rough day at work," I mumbled, pushing past her and dropping my purse on the floor near an armchair.

"You know what's going to make you feel better?" she asked, handing me a beer.

"Setting Trib Tower on fire?"

"No," she laughed. "Better. Bowling!"

I finally took stock of the living room, trying to figure out what she was talking about. Three boxes of pizza were laid out on the coffee table, and a Wii was set up in front of Edward's big TV screen. Jasper was creating his mii character, scrolling through hair options while Emmett teased him loudly.

"Bowling?"

"Yep, on the Wii. It's so much fun."

"Don't be disappointed when I kick your butt," Edward said, coming out of his kitchen with a bowl of popcorn. "I'm a professional."

"You can make your mii as soon as Jazz is finished," Alice said, ignoring her brother. "He's almost done."

I walked over to the pizza and collapsed on the sofa. "Where's Rose?"

"She's at home with Avery," Emmett said. "We were going to bring him, but he's been fussy the last couple of days and Rosie thinks he might be getting sick. Didn't want to risk it."

"I'm sorry," I said, taking a big bite of pizza. "I hope he feels better soon."

The cushions shifted under me as Edward took the spot next to me. After spending the entire previous evening talking about implementing a plan to "seduce" him, I was suddenly embarrassed.

"Do you know how to play?" he asked, oblivious to my discomfort.

"No," I said, shrugging. Jasper tossed me the controller.

"Well first you need to make a character," Edward said with a smile. "I'll help."

It was really weird, scrolling through facial options while the Cullens made suggestions and helped me pick out features that would look best on my mii. There was a particularly heated debate over my hairstyle, which Alice eventually won.

"No, not those eyes," Edward said, grabbing the controller from me and flicking through the options. "Your eyes are bigger, prettier. These." I blushed a little, but let him select the eyes he wanted. Alice beamed at us, but Edward didn't notice. He was too busy searching for my mouth.

"I hate to tell you this, but I don't think my mii looks anything like me," I laughed. Edward saved the character and scrolled back through the menu screens until he got to the start screen for bowling.

"Edward's mii is scary," Emmett said. "Seriously, it's practically a self-portrait."

Edward rolled his eyes. "That's the point, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's like you shrunk down and got stuck in the computer," Emmett continued, "It's bizarre."

"Whatever," Edward sighed. "Bella, you want to watch the first round so you can see how to do it? We can only play four at a time."

"That's fine. I just want to sit here for a while."

I had to laugh when Edward selected the bowling order. His mii really did look eerily like him, down to the tufts of hair sticking out at odd angles. A little sideways smirk sealed the deal. Emmett and Jasper's characters were close enough, although Emmett had added a ridiculous bushy beard to his face.

"Rose would never let me grow one in real life," he explained.

Alice's mii wore a pair of sun-glasses and a bright pink shirt. Her grin was a little maniacal.

"Um, Edward, why does your mii have a sparkly pink ball?" I asked, muffling my laughter with my beer.

"I told you, I'm a professional."

"Okay… I'll ask again. Edward, why does your mii have a sparkly pink ball?"

"Is there something you're not telling us?" Emmett teased, grabbing some popcorn. "Did you really break up with Lauren because you're playing for the other team? Don't worry, we'll still love you if you're gay. Mom will get over it, she's already got one grandchild."

I choked and sputtered, but Edward just frowned.

"I'm at a professional skill level—that means my ball sparkles. The playing order decides what color your ball is."

"Oh sure," Emmett said, winking at me. "And you just happened to put yourself in the slot that gets the pink ball."

Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed the controller. "You just wish you had a sparkly ball. It's okay to admit you're jealous, Em."

He lined up his shot and swung his arm, releasing his virtual ball with an impressive spin.

"NICE THROW!" the Wii shouted, as all ten of Edward's pins fell.

He cocked an eyebrow at Emmett and handed the controller off to Alice. "You were saying?"

It turns out that Wii bowling is a lot of fun… who knew? When it was my turn to play, replacing Alice, who had the lowest score in the first game, I was nervous. I was a crappy bowler in real life, a gutter ball queen. So when Jasper showed me how to work the controls, my first instinct was to be skeptical.

Then I threw a strike. And another. And another. Did you know that three strikes in a row is called a Turkey? The Wii constantly stoked my ego, throwing out compliments every time I knocked down my pins. It was like having my own personal cheerleader.

Edward's luck turned when I started to play. He kept getting splits, which made him endearingly cranky.

"My, my, Edward, losing to a newbie?" Emmett mused, as Edward got his third gutter ball of the game. The Wii booed. "You won't be holding onto that sparkly ball for long, Mr. Professional Bowler."

He scowled. "I'm having an off game."

"It's probably because your ball is green this time," Emmett said thoughtfully. "Pink is clearly your power color."

I ended up with an impressive 232, crushing all three of the guys. I quit while I was ahead, handing my controller back to Alice before I could ruin my winning streak. The others lost interest in bowling after another game, and Emmett and Jasper started a boxing tournament.

"It's like having a gym in your living room," I said, watching Jasper flail wildly with his controller, trying to get his mii to punch Emmett's in the gut.

"I lost ten pounds in the first month I had this thing," Edward admitted. "I got it because I thought it would be something fun to do with Lauren, but she was never around so I ended up working out my frustrations by myself. I have a professional skill level on all the sports, and I can play half the Guitar Hero songs on expert."

"You sure know how to impress a girl," I said, grinning at him. He wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes, but returned my smile. Feeling emboldened, I combed my fingers through my hair, twisting it around my fist and then releasing it. I let my fingers drift lightly down over my shirt and into my lap, then I glanced up at him to check his reaction.

He was still smiling, but there was a funny look in his eye. Had it worked? I bit my lip and met his eyes. Blinking, he seemed to come out a haze.

"What time should I pick you up tomorrow?" he asked, turning away from me and reaching for his drink. I exhaled in disappointment. What did I think was going to happen, really? I touch my hair a little and he falls at my feet in a puddle of desire, professing his love and devotion? Yeah, it was going to be that easy.

"I'll be done with work by five, so why don't you come by my apartment at six? Then I'll have time to get changed and ready to go. Did you ever get a hold of Angela?"

"Yeah, she's got to work. Looks like it's just the two of us tomorrow." He smiled and glanced sideways at me. "I hope that's okay."

"Absolutely," I assured him. "I've been looking forward to it all week." His smile widened and I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. Had I really just admitted to that? Desperate much, Bella?

"Me too." He threw his arm over the back of the couch, his forearm resting gently on the back of my head. "Jasper, you look kind of like a penguin having a seizure."

Alice snorted, but Jasper just whipped his arm around again, his mii's fist connecting with Emmett's mii's jaw.

"Yes! Knock out!" he roared, jumping up and down as Emmett's mii fell to the ground. I laughed in surprise, watching Jasper shake his fists above his head in victory. He and Emmett were sweaty and red in the face from the fight.

"I've never seen him so… violent," I said quietly, leaning closer to Edward in an aside.

"You should see him after fifth period study hall," Edward whispered back. "He supervises a room full of jocks who spend the hour throwing spit balls and scratching themselves. I guarantee you he was picturing John Perkins during that fight."

"Colin Biggs, actually," Jasper said, taking a swig of water and wiping the sweat off of his forehead. He flicked his fingers toward Edward, who cringed out of the way. "I can't believe you managed to avoid a study hall this semester, you lucky bastard. Waste of a perfectly good prep period."

"Them's the breaks, kid." Edward smirked and his arm slid down over my shoulders. I froze. Friend or flirt? My eyes darted over to his face, but he looked completely at ease. Must be a friendly gesture. I relaxed into his side, praying he didn't notice my racing heart.

"Yeah, sure. I still think it's because Principal McAdams thinks you're hot."

"Does she know about your penchant for sparkly pink things?" Emmett asked.

"Ooooh _penchant_. Still using that Word of the Day calendar I see," Edward shot back, chuckling a little and squeezing my shoulders unconsciously.

Emmett flicked him off and stretched, yawning. "Okay, kids, it's been fun, but I have a sick baby and a crabby wife at home. I have to get out of here before I get stuck on diaper duty for the next two weeks."

"We should get going too," Alice said quickly, sending Jasper a meaningful look. "I have that early meeting tomorrow."

"You don't have to leave, do you?" Edward said, frowning down at me. "It's still early."

Alice was sending me a death glare as she shrugged into her coat, so I smiled softly and shook my head.

"I guess not."

"Good. I'll grab a movie and we can just hang out for a while."

We said goodbye to Emmett, Alice and Jasper. As she hugged me goodbye, Alice whispered, "Don't blow this, Swan. I want details tomorrow at lunch."

Once we were alone, Edward cleared his throat and popped a disc into his DVD player.

"I've had this sitting around for a while—have you ever seen _Pan's Labyrinth_?"

"No, but I've heard of it. Isn't it in Spanish?"

"That's what subtitles are for. It's supposed to be really good."

"Okay, let's do it."

He settled in next to me right away, pulling me into his side without hesitation. He was warm and comfortable, and as usual, he smelled fantastic. This wasn't normal friend behavior, I was almost certain. He wasn't touching any part of my skin, but his arm was firmly draped over me, preventing me from moving.

I couldn't tell you what the movie was about. I'm pretty sure there were fairies and there was definitely a creepy looking monster with eyeballs in the palms of its hands. I remember that part because I ducked into Edward's side and covered my face. He laughed and rubbed my arm, drawing lazy circles on my bicep with his long fingers.

For the rest of the movie I was simply counting his breaths. His body heat burned through my clothes and seared into my skin, and I was surrounded by the smell of sandalwood and soap. I ached to touch him, but I was completely paralyzed by self-doubt. Was this simply two friends, cuddling and watching a movie, or was it some sort of shift in the fabric of our relationship?

I was stuck in a sweet state of limbo, unable to move forward or backward without a signal from Edward—a signal he seemed unwilling or unready to give. Instead of worrying about it, I simply let myself enjoy the comfort of his touch and the steady thrum of his heartbeat. When he hugged me goodbye and promised to pick me up at six the next evening, I didn't think about the implications of our non-date. I kept my mouth shut, smiled, and nodded. Because limbo was better than nothing.

* * *

**A/N: The sparkly ball is a real thing. She is a fickle mistress though, I swear every time I hit the professional level and get my sparkly ball, I have one good game before everything goes to shit! You guys continue to blow me away with your reviews, thank you so much. Feel free to head over to the thread and say hi, we're a friendly bunch. You can find me on the AU-Human forum on Twilighted. Leave me some love, I'd love to hear from you lurkers :)**


	15. Hustler

"So…?" Alice's voice was practically shaking in her excitement.

"We watched a movie," I sighed, sitting down across from her and studying my sandwich. I didn't like the look on her face. It was like she expected me to have sexually explicit details to share. How fast did she think we were going to move?

"And…?"

"And he put his arm around me."

She squealed and I covered my ears.

"Seriously, only dogs can hear you now."

"Sorry, I'm just excited. What else?"

"That was pretty much it. I mean it was just a little bit of cuddling. And he hugged me goodbye."

"This is a very good first step. Now, what are your plans for tonight?"

I sighed and took a big bite of my sandwich. What were my plans? I would have to keep up the flirting, obviously, but how far was I willing to push my luck?

"I don't know, I thought I'd just go with whatever he had planned and take things as they came. Weren't you the one who said all the scheming may not even be necessary?"

"I guess…" she said doubtfully. "But don't lose your momentum. Don't send mixed signals."

"I don't think anyone ever _intends_ to give mixed signals," I mused. "I think it probably just happens of its own accord. Until one day the other person gives up and asks what the hell is going on."

"Right, well, make sure he doesn't have to ask."

I rolled my eyes and changed the subject. "Tell me about your presentation, how are things coming?"

That was all it took. She was off like a shot, jabbering about strategy and technique. While she waxed poetic about her campaign, I let my mind wander back to my office. Chuck had scheduled a performance review with me for next week, sort of a pulse check on how I was doing, and I was already formulating responses to imagined questions.

_How are you acclimating to the rest of the staff?_

Well, the sports blogger has the hots for me, the tech blogger is terrorizing me daily, and the rest of the staff is quietly hostile.

That answer clearly needed work.

_How would you describe your experience here so far?_

Since moving to Chicago, my life has been a dramedy of long lost childhood sweethearts, secret lesbian trysts, and awkward blind dates—and have I mentioned my current project? I'm attempting to seduce said long lost childhood sweetheart, but I just can't tell if he likes me, or if he _likes me_ likes me, you know?

I suppressed a giggle.

"Bella, are you even listening?"

"Huh? I'm sorry Alice, I was spacing out."

"That's okay." She heaved a heavy sigh. "You can go back to daydreaming about my brother. Nothing I have to say is important anyway."

I grinned guiltily. I guess the daydreaming accusation was partially true, and I figured the less Alice knew about my work situation the better. For some reason I had no problem asking her for help romantically, but I wanted to handle this thing with James on my own.

When I rolled back into the office twenty minutes later, I found Seth digging through a pile of papers in my inbox.

"Um… can I help you?"

He jumped and spun around, looking guilty.

"No, I was just… I mean… did you finish with that piece I dropped off this morning?"

I turned around and grabbed it off my desk where it lay in plain sight, next to my keyboard.

"Anything else?"

He flushed a little and shook his head. As he turned to leave, I sat down in my desk chair and spun toward my computer screen. One moment I was leaning back against my chair and the next I was falling. The back of my chair was no longer attached to my seat, and I was flat on my back on the floor.

"What the—" I groaned, trying to shift out of the wreckage that used to be my moderately comfortable swivel chair.

Seth swore loudly and knelt down by my side. "Are you okay? God damn it. Are you hurt?"

He pulled me into a sitting position and inspected me from every angle, looking for scrapes or bruises or God knows what. My head was still spinning. I felt dazed.

"I didn't think to check your chair," he muttered, grabbing my elbow and hoisting me to my feet.

"Why would you need to check my chair?"

"I heard James and Will talking right before you left for lunch. I didn't catch the whole conversation, but the gist of it was about messing with something in your cube. I was trying to figure it out before you got back."

"Did I die and get sent back to sixth grade as a punishment for my sins? Is this normal behavior?"

Seth scowled and scanned the office over the top of my cube. "No, of course not. Little pranks are to be expected, reporters are big kids, but this shit is malicious. Tell me you're going to say something to Chuck. You can't let them keep this up, you could get hurt."

I rubbed a spot on my hip that seemed particularly tender; I had hit it hard when I tumbled backwards.

"I'll think about it. Now get out of here, I'll dig up a new chair from somewhere. I have work to do."

When James walked past my desk on his way to the bathroom later that afternoon, he lingered at my doorway.

"Was something wrong with your old chair, Bella?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

I glanced up at him and then back down at my computer screen. "Nothing serious. The old one just wasn't good for my back. "

"I bet."

He strolled away whistling. The bastard was cheerful about almost maiming me. Drawing in a deep breath, I closed my eyes and willed away the angry tears that were prickling at the corners of my eyes. When I got this job, I was thrilled and eager to start. Now I couldn't remember what I had been so excited about—surely it was obvious even then how terrible it would be. Every time I was tempted to quit, I reminded myself that it had barely been two months, that I had no other job prospects, and that I really liked Chicago and the life I was building here. That had to count for something, right?

Thinking about my upcoming dinner with Edward helped me stay calm. I would smile and flirt and relax. Maybe he would put his arm around me again, or hold my hand. He would smell divine, of course, and probably be wearing something that made him look like a male model.

It was amazing how calming the mere thought of Edward was. He was my own personal Buddha.

_Ohhhhmmmm_.

When he knocked on my door at six that evening, Edward found me freshly made up, dressed in a cute sweater and form fitting jeans, and smiling. The smile was mostly for show, but I wasn't going to let James ruin the one bright spot in my day.

Of course it took him all of ten minutes to figure out something was off. We hadn't even reached the restaurant.

"Another rough day?" he asked, stopping at a red light and looking at me.

I shrugged, and he frowned. "Anything happen in particular?" he pressed. "You seem to be having more and more of those lately."

"I really don't want to talk about it right now, okay?" I pleaded, looking up into his eyes. He looked genuinely concerned, but I just didn't want to relive the last week for him.

"We're not done talking about this," he insisted, turning his eyes back to the road. I sighed in relief and leaned back into his cushy leather seat. Suddenly, I noticed something.

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

"Is there a reason my butt is really warm?"

He laughed loudly. "Seat warmers. Nice, huh?"

"Very fancy, I feel like I'm riding in style."

"Emmett and Rosalie insisted on… how did Em say it? Pimping my ride." He shot me a crooked grin, the one that made his eyes go all crinkly and brought out the dimple that must be custom made for the Cullen men. "I got all the upgrades without having to pay for them at the dealership. Family discount."

"Must be nice to live in the lap of luxury," I teased. He laughed, but this time his smile didn't quite touch his eyes.

"There are more important things," he said softly, pulling into a parking spot in front of Brennan's and turning off the car.

He seemed distant as we walked into the bar, so I tried to lighten the mood. "You said Angela was working tonight? Will she be here?"

"No, she's at one of her other jobs."

"How many jobs does she have?"

"Last count was three. She bartends, teaches a test prep course, and life guards at a hotel downtown."

"Wow." I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was barely coping with one job. "When does she see her boyfriend?"

"Whenever she's home," he replied, smiling that slightly vacant smile again. "He's a software engineer, so his hours are more regular."

We slid into a booth and a waitress walked up immediately. It was hard to miss how her eyes lingered on Edward and how she smiled just for him.

"How are you folks doing tonight?"

"Fine," Edward said absently, staring at the drink menu. She puffed herself up a little and stuck out her hip, leaning towards him.

"Can I get you something right away?" she purred. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat.

"I'll have a rum and diet."

She looked at me blankly and then glanced between us, clearly surprised to see me glaring at her. _That's right, bitch. Step back._

"Sure. What about you?" she turned back to Edward, and I was glad to see her straighten up her posture a bit. If she thought we were together, I wouldn't have to deal with her hitting on him all night. So much the better for me.

"I think I'll stick with water tonight," he said, finally looking up from the drink menu to give me a wry smile. "No need to try for a repeat of the last time we got a drink together."

The waitress left without another word, and I laughed. "I never asked—who did you end up talking to that night? Anyone really embarrassing?"

He groaned and shook his head. "Besides my parents you mean? I can't believe you let me have my phone."

"It was kind of worth it. I didn't know you were such an entertaining drunk."

"Yes, well one man's entertainment is another man's humiliation. I called the choir teacher at my school and left a rambling message. She played it for me at school on Monday. I almost died," he sighed, laughing in spite of himself.

"What did you say?"

He turned bright red and shook his head. "No way, it's bad enough that I said it to _her_, I'm not going to repeat it to you."

I wracked my brain trying to remember if I had overheard any messages. I couldn't remember anything in particular, and I was sure it wasn't half-angry, half-amused exclamations about Lauren that had him so flustered.

"Please?" I wheedled.

He gave me a dark look and picked up the menu again. "You're dangerous," he muttered.

I let it drop and took a sip of my drink, which the waitress had delivered at some point during our short conversation. I hadn't even noticed.

"Okay, so tell me about your job," Edward said after a moment. "You never talk about it anymore. Are you enjoying it? Seth seems… nice."

"He is," I agreed slowly. "The rest of the guys however…"

He raised an eyebrow and gestured for me to continue.

"They're not so nice," I finished lamely. "It's kind of a boy's club over there, and one of the guys really wanted my job, so they resent me a little."

I wasn't as uncomfortable sharing the details with Edward as I thought I would be. It felt good actually, to get a tiny piece of my story out there. I kept going.

"They won't let me in, and James, the one who wanted my job, is constantly making nasty comments. I'm out of my element, and I don't know what to do."

"New jobs are hard," he said sympathetically. "When I started at mine, I made some big changes in the way the band and orchestra programs ran. I started giving private lessons during the school day and scheduled more concerts. Some of the other teachers were really annoyed, because I was a new teacher, straight out of school, and I was changing everything they were used to. Give it a few more months for everyone to settle in. Give it a year, even. They're just giving you a hard time because they're threatened by how talented you are."

"You don't know anything about how I do my job, Edward."

"Maybe not, but I know you."

I blushed under his earnest stare. "I don't know, lately I feel like I made a mistake coming here."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Don't ever say that."

Our waitress chose that moment to arrive. Of course. Because Edward was touching me, and the universe hates me. He let go of my hand and we ordered. The waitress was still making eyes at Edward, but at least she was discreet about it. As she walked away, swaying her hips with a little too much force, I laughed and shook my head.

"What?" he asked, looking perplexed at my sudden mood shift.

"Could she be any more obvious?"

"Who?" He whipped his head around, scanning the crowd.

"Our waitress," I sighed. "Really, Edward, do you need to be half in the bag to realize when a woman is interested in you?"

He rolled his eyes. "She's not interested in me. She doesn't even _know_ me."

"Well it certainly seems like she would like to." My words sounded petty and waspish, but I couldn't help it. I blame it on my already shitty mood.

Edward didn't say anything for a minute, just stared at me with his eyes slightly narrowed and his lips pursed. Then, ever so slightly, his mouth curved into a smile and he lifted his eyebrows in clear delight.

"Isabella Marie… are you jealous?"

_Yes_. "Of course not."

"You are," he crowed, smiling wider as I started to blush. "You're jealous because our waitress shook her butt at me."

"Aha! I knew you noticed," I said smugly. "And I'm not jealous. I just think that she could have a little more tact about hitting on a man who is clearly out with another woman."

"You're kind of cute when you're jealous," he teased, his eyes twinkling merrily.

"And you're kind of annoying when you're wrong," I huffed, taking a sip of my drink and crossing my arms across my chest.

"It's okay to admit that you're attracted to me," he said playfully. "You've already said as much."

My stomach dropped a little. I thought back through our most recent conversations but couldn't remember saying anything incriminating. His sudden burst of confidence was kind of unnerving.

"What are you talking about?"

"My highly qualified dating resume, remember? I believe you also said I was _easy on the eyes_."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?" I groaned.

"I would say it's pretty unlikely."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," I muttered darkly. I searched around for a new subject. "Did Lauren get all of her stuff out of your apartment? It didn't seem like there was anything missing when we were there yesterday."

"She didn't have a whole lot there," he admitted, his mood shifting again. I immediately regretted bringing Lauren up, but it was out there now. Might as well plow straight ahead.

"Have you heard from her since that day?"

"She sent me a threatening email on Friday," he said with a small smile. "Something about castrating me if I outed her and hunting you down for a similar fate." He laughed and then grimaced. "As if I would ever tell that story."

"It's not like it's embarrassing for _you_." I couldn't understand why he was so adamant that the circumstances of their break-up remain a secret. It wasn't like he owed Lauren his silence. "You did nothing wrong."

"Nothing except convince myself to stay in a relationship with a woman who was so uninterested in me that she was screwing her best friend—who was also a woman. How is that not embarrassing?" A flicker of annoyance passed over his face. "She didn't even give up her apartment. She told me that she had let her lease run out and sold her furniture. Turns out that was not the case. I'm just glad that I didn't get rid of much when she moved in."

Our dinner arrived then, and he clammed up, shoving fries into his mouth and scowling. I let my eyes wander through the bar. All around us, people were laughing and drinking, kicking back after a long work week. Moments ago, that had been me. Now I was sitting in silence with a sulky tablemate. _Me and my big mouth_. We ate quietly, Edward grimacing at his burger while I tried to come up with a way to pull him out of his Lauren-induced funk.

There was a row of dartboards on the back wall of the bar, and they gave me an idea.

"How do you feel about darts?" I asked innocently, smiling at Edward's startled expression.

"I can't say I have strong feelings either way."

"There are some nice dart boards over there." I nodded toward the boards where a couple of people had already started a game. "And I happen to kick ass at darts. You want to play?"

A slow smile spread over his face. "I don't know, Bella," he said. "I'm not very good, and I don't like to lose."

"I'll go easy on you," I offered, standing up and tossing back the rest of my drink. "Come on, what have you got to lose?"

He swallowed one last bite of burger and stood up, following me to the back of the bar.

"So how good are you?"

"I don't like to brag," I said primly, handing him a couple of quarters for the machine and pulling out the red tipped darts. "But I think it's only fair to warn you that I almost never lose."

"Really?" Something flashed in his eyes and I thought I saw a smile, but it was gone as soon as I detected it. "How would you feel about making a bet then?"

"Oh, I don't want to take your money," I taunted.

"We won't play for money then," he countered. "If I win, you owe me one non-negotiable favor, to be determined at a later date."

"That seems like a pretty cushy deal for you. What if I win?"

He stepped towards me, twirling yellow tipped darts in his hand. "What do you want?"

I could feel my cheeks start to flame as I pondered all the completely inappropriate ways to answer that question. I tried to cover it up by tapping my fingers to my chin and giving him what I hoped was a thoughtfully devious look.

"Anything I want?"

"Anything."

The temperature in the room seemed to have escalated. He was too close and not close enough at the same time.

"You asked for it." I smirked at him as the perfect idea popped into my head. "Next week when we get together with your family, you have to declare me to be Bella, Almighty Winner and Master of the Universe and way cooler than you. You will make this declaration while kneeling in front of me, and afterwards you will kiss my feet. Everyone has to be there and watching or you have to do it again."

"That's the best you can do?" he scoffed.

"Take it or leave it. Those are my terms."

He stared down at me for another immeasurable moment, and then he nodded. "Fine. Deal."

We decided to play cricket and reset the score on our dartboard. Things started out slowly, and I ordered another drink. I always play so much better when I'm floating between tipsy and drunk, so I figured one more couldn't hurt.

Somewhere between drink number two and three, Edward started playing for real. He closed out number after number, and even managed to hit the triple spot on the bullseye. I swore under my breath and struggled to catch up. I hadn't been lying earlier; I didn't lose at darts often. It was a favorite pastime of mine in Phoenix, and I had even competed in a couple of tournaments.

The problem was that while I was good, Edward was exceptional. All too soon, the game was over, and it wasn't even close. He blew me out of the water.

"Why do I feel like I just got hustled?" I grumbled.

"I may have downplayed my skills just a little," he said, smirking a little.

"Okay, fine, you won fair and square," I sighed. "When do you want to collect?"

"Not just yet. When the time comes, you'll know." His eyes gleamed in the low lights of the bar, and I was startled to see that they had turned down the overheads while we were playing. Something about being around Edward made me lose track of my surroundings.

That feeling of being too close overwhelmed me again, and I took a casual step back.

"So, now that you've kicked my butt at my favorite bar game and thoroughly embarrassed me… what do you want to do next?"

"Want to settle the bill and get out of here? I could use some fresh air."

I agreed and he signaled for our waitress. He insisted on paying, even though I offered him cash for my part of the bill.

"What kind of a pity date would I be if I let you pay?" he asked, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"I thought we were just hanging out, no big deal," I shot back.

"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to." He shrugged, signed his receipt, and grabbed our coats. "Let's get out of here."

He slipped into his own coat and held the door open for me before following me out into the night. With the onset of December, the nights had gotten darker and colder, and I shivered, my teeth chattering uncomfortably. Edward threw his arm around my shoulders quickly, rubbing my arms up and down briskly.

"The car isn't far," he murmured. I nodded, still shivering. When we got to the car, it was already running. I slid into the passenger seat and sat rubbing my hands together, enjoying the luxury of Edward's heated seats.

"Re-remote st-st-start?" I chattered.

He nodded and grinned. "Like I said. Emmett pimped my ride."

I laughed and leaned back in my seat. "You should never say pimp." He snorted and rolled his eyes.

As we weaved through the dark, snowy streets, Edward hummed something lightly to himself. It was soft and soothing, and I felt my body relax further to the gentle rumble in his chest.

"Edward? Where are we going?"

My question seemed to take him by surprise. He stopped humming and looked at me rather sheepishly.

"I'm sorry; I forgot that I was taking you home. I've had this song bouncing around in my head for the last few days and I think I finally figured out the main melody line. I guess I'm just anxious to get home and play it out."

He looked so much like a little boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar that I had to laugh. "That's okay, Edward. I'd love to hear your song, if you don't mind. I'm still wide awake, and tomorrow is Saturday."

I held my breath, hoping that he wouldn't raise an eyebrow to me basically inviting myself over to his place, but he just smiled back and nodded.

"I'm so glad you said that, because we're already here." He laughed and pulled into a parking space in front of his building.

We walked up to his apartment without speaking, Edward humming that same song under his breath. His gait had taken on a rhythmic beat, and I wondered absently if he was a good dancer. Probably. What wasn't he good at?

The apartment was completely dark, but Edward didn't bother turning on any lamps in the living room. He just made a beeline down the hall towards the room I had taken for an office. When he got there, he flicked a switch and warm yellow light flooded the space and spilled into the hallway. He glanced back at me and quirked an eyebrow.

"Are you coming?"

I picked my way through the living room, praying that I wouldn't trip over something and go sprawling all over his floor. Luckily, I made it to the open door without incident. Edward had already entered the room, and was sitting at a small upright piano set across the far wall.

"I thought it would be bigger," I blurted in surprise, then slapped a hand over my mouth and groaned. "The piano, that is. I thought you'd have a bigger piano."

"My other piano is a concert grand," he deadpanned, peeking over his shoulder at me and winking. "Size isn't everything, Bella. I love my upright."

I choked back all the sexually explicit comments I wanted to make and just nodded, watching his hands fly across the keys in a short warm-up. The scales melted into the melody he had been humming for the last half hour, and his eyes drifted closed as he felt out the music.

Watching Edward play the piano was simultaneously arousing, cathartic, and comforting. He seemed to use his whole body, swaying and nodding as his fingers searched for the right keys. I sighed contentedly, but he didn't notice. It was as if he had forgotten I was in the room—the music was the only thing that mattered. There was a lithe sensuality to his movements, almost as if the piano were a lover and a dear friend.

I don't know how long I sat there, transfixed by his music. Eventually, the song drifted to a close, and he took his hands from the keys. The absence of sound was the only thing I registered for a moment. Then he turned and looked at me, a hesitant smile fixed in place, and asked what I thought.

"Wow," I breathed. "That was just… wow."

He scratched his head and stretched his arms. "Did you really like it?"

"Edward that was amazing. I can't imagine what your songs are like once you've got them out on paper!"

He looked down at his hands and blushed. "I don't usually write down my compositions," he said quietly. "They're all up here." He tapped his head with his index finger and smiled.

"You should," I said immediately. "God, Edward, I didn't know you were so talented."

He huffed a little and shuffled some sheet music around, refusing to meet my eyes. "Ouch. Did you think I was some kind of a hack?"

"No, of course not," I answered. "But I thought you just played, I had no idea you were a composer too. Have you ever thought about doing it professionally?"

He stopped shuffling music and looked up at me again. "Once upon a time," he whispered. "But I'm no prodigy, and I certainly don't have the talent to make it out there in the real world. I was in a few jazz quartets in college, but it never went anywhere. It was just a pipedream, anyway."

"But Edward—"

"I compose because I love it, end of story," he said, cutting me off. "I'm happy teaching, and I'm good at it. Forget I mentioned it; I don't know why I even said anything. I've never told anyone that before." He didn't seem angry, just flustered and embarrassed, so I took a chance and joined him on the piano bench.

"You don't have to give up teaching to compose," I said softly. "You're so talented."

"You've only heard the one song. You don't know anything about my music."

"Maybe not, but I do know you," I repeated his words from earlier in the evening. The sides of his mouth twitched into a small smile and his eyes crinkled.

"Thank you." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, hugging me tightly to his chest. I inhaled the scent of his laundry soap and cologne. That, combined with his body heat and the feel of his arms around me, made me slightly lightheaded. Since fainting in his arms would probably be pretty embarrassing, I let go of him after a few seconds and scooted back on the bench.

"Any time." I smiled at him and then looked back at the piano. "Can you play me another one of your songs?"

He indulged me for the better part of the next hour, effortlessly churning out songs about everything from his mother and the first day of school to abstract tunes that he said were studies in different emotions. Heartbreak. Passion. Anxiety. Joy.

When I started to yawn he stopped playing, insisting that it was time for me to go home and get to bed. I let him boss me around, if only because he had made himself so vulnerable. He drove me home and walked me to my door, waiting as I unlocked the deadbolt.

I turned back to face him, suddenly unsure. This wasn't a date, but it didn't exactly feel like an evening with a casual friend either. I had confided in him and he had shared a big part of himself with me. A simple goodbye didn't seem to cover the situation, but what else was there? Kissing him was out of the question, although his lips did look soft and tempting. I resisted staring at them and instead met his eyes.

"Thank you for tonight," he said, reaching out and grabbing my hand. He squeezed it gently and then traced my knuckles with his fingertips. "I had a lot of fun."

"Me too," I answered automatically, transfixed by the way his light touch sent tingles up my arm. "We should do this again soon."

I cringed internally. _We should do this again soon?_ _What happened to letting him take the lead?_ I was almost too busy getting scolded by the voice in my head to notice the bright smile on Edward's face and his answering nod.

"Definitely." He gave my hand one last squeeze and turned to go. Before he got to the stairwell, he paused and turned back.

"Bella?"

"Hm?"

"Can we keep the composing thing between us, just for now? I haven't really played anything original for my family since I was in high school, and I don't want them to think it's a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Edward," I sighed, shaking my head.

"I'll tell them eventually, I'm just not ready yet. I need some time to think about things. Please?"

And because I'm a sucker for those big green eyes, I nodded and smiled. "Of course. Just between us."

* * *

**A/N: You guys are amazing. Shout out to everyone who reviewed--you guys rock! Every single one of those reviews makes my day.**

**Thanks to the ladies who stopped by the thread this week--and that goes double for those of you who left me musical inspiration! Come visit, we have lots of fun--we even had a little margarita party after the last update :) **http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670

**What's the most embarrassing/worst thing you ever had to do for losing a bet?  
**


	16. You'll Poke Your Eye Out

Sunday morning I awoke with a big smile on my face. For a few minutes I let myself just lie there, mulling over the previous evening in my mind. Closing my eyes, I remembered Edward hugging me in his apartment and the gentle pressure of his hand on my own as he said goodbye. Little things like that made me sure that even if he didn't realize it, he was starting to think of me as something different.

_Something more_.

My heart fluttered and I giggled into my pillow. It was such a girly move that I froze and took a quick look around the room, suddenly suspicious that someone would be lurking around the corner waiting to call me on my ridiculous behavior.

My cell phone rang shrilly from the living room. Groaning, I recognized my mother's ringtone. I glanced at the clock. 8:30 was far too early for Renee.

I stumbled to the living room and answered the phone. "Good morning," I said as brightly as I could.

"Did you book your flight yet?" I rolled my eyes and smiled. My mother didn't hold with typical phone niceties. She liked to start our calls like we were already in the middle of a conversation. Just to mess with her, I didn't play along.

"I'm fine, how about you?"

"Yeah, yeah, hello, I miss you, yada yada," she sighed. "Can we talk about Christmas now?"

"Patience is a virtue, Mom," I laughed. "Yes, I've booked my flight home. I have to work all day on the 23rd, so I'm going to catch a late flight that night and I'll get to Phoenix sometime around midnight your time."

"I can't wait to see you, sweetheart, and you'll just love what we've done with the house. We already picked out our new addition."

I should probably explain something about Renee and Christmas decorations. Every year, she strings thousands of lights up around her house and adds inflatable snowmen, plastic reindeer, and musical light shows. Clark Griswold would be jealous. She made it a habit of buying one completely obnoxious and gigantic new decoration every year. The fact that we were only a week into December and she had already purchased said decoration did not bode well. Usually she waited until right before the holiday and took advantage of the sales.

"Oh yeah? What is it this year? I hope it's better than that plastic snow globe you bought last year."

"That globe was so perfect, it's a shame it popped," she said absently. I cleared my throat quietly, glad she couldn't see my face. I knew for a fact that the huge inflatable snow globe hadn't so much "popped" as my step dad Phil had taken a pair of sewing shears to it and poked some unobtrusive holes near the base. He had feigned disappointment when it deflated and paid me off to keep my mouth shut.

"This year I found the most fantastic Santa Claus. He was on discount too; you won't believe how cheap it was when you see it!"

"I'm almost afraid to ask this, but why do you think it was so cheap?"

"God only knows." Her voice was falsely innocent, but I let it go. It was probably better if I didn't know for now. "Anyway, we set him up on the roof, and it looks fantastic! I'll send you pictures later, just as soon as I figure out this new camera."

"Another new camera? What happened to the old one?"

"I dropped it in the stands at one of Phil's practices," she said sheepishly. "I swear, I'm lucky I don't have to replace my cell phone every other day the way I blow through technology."

Phil coached the baseball team at ASU, and Mom was their most loyal cheerleader. When they had first gotten married, Phil played in the minor leagues, but he settled down after a few years of leaving my mom and me at home for every away game.

"How are things going on your end? Is it a winter wonderland out there yet? I should come visit later this winter, snow is one of the biggest things I miss living in Arizona."

"It's freezing, and I'm told it only gets worse," I sighed grumpily. "You know, when Edward told me I'd be sick of the snow by Christmas I didn't believe him, but we've got almost three weeks to go and I can already see what he means. I hate being cold."

"Edward, hm?" she said airily. "And how's that going?"

"How's _what_ going, exactly?"

"Well, you mentioned he broke up with his girlfriend, and you talk about him an awful lot. When you take the time to call your poor mother of course…" She was good, an expert at information extraction via maternal guilt trips, but I wasn't going to fall for it.

"There's nothing going on, Mom. Let it go for now, okay?"

"For now?"

_Damn it_. I stayed quiet.

"Alright," she sighed. "I'm only going to say this once and then you can thank me when you're having little green eyed babies. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese! Timing is everything, baby."

"You sound like Alice," I muttered. "Just let it be. I appreciate your interest, I love you, and I will talk to you soon, okay? It's too early for this."

"Fine, just blow me off; I'm sure you have more important things to do than chat the day away with me."

"Seriously? I need coffee. Good bye." I hung up before she could shoot back another guilt trip. Our conversation may have seemed odd, or even cold, to an outsider… but that was just how things were between Renee and I. We were more like sisters than parent and child. Part of our give and take was that she annoyed the crap out of me whenever she thought I liked a guy.

Case in point: the first time I fell for Edward. I was six, and desperately trying to get his attention. I told him I liked the handlebars on his bike and complimented the way he tied his shoes. I even attempted to bake a batch of cupcakes for him. They weren't the prettiest cupcakes I've ever seen, but they tasted okay. Unfortunately, I needed Renee to help me with the oven, and that was where things went terribly wrong.

"What are the cupcakes for, honey?" she had asked. "Do you have a bake sale coming up?"

"No, I'm making them for Edward. We're going to get married." I was very matter-of-fact. Looking back, I can't believe she didn't laugh at me.

"Is that so? Has he asked you yet?"

"No." I paused to lick a lump of frosting off my spatula. "But I'm pretty sure the cupcakes will help."

"Marriage is all about communication," my mother intoned seriously. "You should tell him how you feel."

I was horrified. _Tell_ him? That wasn't how the fairy tales worked. The handsome prince swept the princess of her feet and they lived happily ever after. The princess never had to _say _anything. What if he laughed at me? Or worse, what if he didn't _want_ to marry me?

"No, I'm just going to give him the cupcakes," I said with finality.

Renee drove me over to the Cullen house that afternoon, and she walked me to the door. Esme let us in, grinning at my cupcakes.

"Isabella has a present for Edward," Renee announced. "She's in love with him you know," she added, winking at Esme. "She's going to marry him one day."

A choking sound came from the staircase. I turned, almost in slow motion, to see Edward frozen and wide-eyed on the landing. He had heard everything. I dropped my cupcakes and ran out the door, sobbing about how my mother had ruined my life. Edward and I didn't talk for a week, and then it was forgotten, as such childhood embarrassments often are. I had buried the memory so deep, this was the first I'd thought of it since I was six.

I wondered if Edward remembered. For the rest of the morning, I baked chocolate cupcakes.

Monday dawned grey and icy, but I couldn't find it in myself to be depressed about it. I grabbed a batch of cupcakes that I had set aside for the guys in my office and set off for work, whistling cheerfully. There's nothing quite like starting your day on a sugar high with a shot of caffeine.

Seth was waiting for an elevator when I walked into the building, so I skipped up to him and chirped a good morning. I'm serious, I chirped.

"Well, Miss Bella, you are smiling awful big today," he laughed. "Do what do we owe the pleasure?"

"It's a beautiful day, I'm about to start another week at my awesome job, and I have cupcakes!" I handed him a cupcake and stepped into the elevator. He followed a step behind and punched in the number for our floor.

Crinkling his forehead, he looked at me skeptically.

"Not to put a damper on that mood, Bells… but its five degrees outside, the weathermen are predicting snow storms all week, and last week you were verbally assaulted and almost injured by a co-worker."

I sighed and followed him out onto our floor. "But I still have cupcakes."

He laughed and clapped his hands on my shoulders, steering me through the maze of cubicles.

"Don't drop your cupcake! I spent a lot of time baking yesterday."

"Look, Ma, no hands," he joked, spinning me to face him, stuffing the cupcake in his mouth, and bowing low.

"Bravo, bravo! Encore!"

"It's a little early for foreplay, don't you think?" I turned to see James leaning out of his doorway and leering at us. "I would think you'd be on your best behavior, Swan, seeing as you've got that performance review soon. Feeling up coworkers in the hallways is hardly a good way to fly under the radar."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said. "Would you like a cupcake? I baked some for everyone." I didn't wait for an answer, just plopped one on the edge of his desk and stalked away to my own cube. I slid into my chair, which thankfully stayed intact, and started unpeeling a cupcake immediately. It was a double chocolate kind of morning, clearly.

"What a waste of a good cupcake," Seth sighed. He glanced toward James' desk and then turned back to me. "The performance review is not a big deal. Chuck will ask if you have any questions so far and how you're adjusting. Please, _please_ tell him about James. You can't keep letting him get away with this shit. It's harassment. Ignoring him and then giving him a cupcake is not going to solve this."

"I would have liked to shove the cupcake up his nose, but I figured that wouldn't get me anywhere."

"Well it would have been funnier," he muttered. "Do it your way, but don't be surprised when it blows up on you. I can't promise that I'm going to keep _my_ mouth shut though. It won't be as good as if you say something, but it'll be something better than giving him a free pass to do whatever the hell he wants."

"It'll be okay, Seth. I'm pretty tough, I can take it."

He just shook his head and walked away, still frowning.

When Chuck called me into his office that afternoon, I was a little nervous that Seth had already carried through his threat. But the look on Chuck's face reassured me: he didn't seem concerned or upset, or even curious.

"Have a seat," he said, gesturing to the chair opposite him. "I thought we could get our meeting out of the way sooner rather than later. You'll have a more formal review in a couple of months, but I like to touch base with new people earlier than company policy dictates."

I nodded and sat down, keeping my expression neutral.

"So what do you think of your job so far? Is it what you expected?"

"Yes and no," I said carefully. "I was hoping for more multimedia work, to be honest, but I've been handling a lot of editing and posting. Sometimes I feel like the guys think of me as a middleman, like I'm not important to the process, and that's hard. But I also feel like I've made real progress in some areas. Garrett's got that new weekly feature on his blog that's been very popular, and Seth is always willing to listen to my suggestions about how to design his content."

"Good, good. The multimedia stuff will come. Those are the kind of long term goals you should work your way up to. I'd be happy to work with you on a timeline for getting those projects up and running." He leaned back in his chair. "You mentioned Garrett and Seth, how are things going with the other guys? They giving you any lip?" He gave me a wry smile coupled with a piercing stare, like he knew exactly what was going on in the office. Seth's threat this morning bounced around my head.

"It's been touch and go," I admitted. "Some of them aren't used to working closely with… with an editor."

"James is being an asshole." It was a statement, not a question.

"That's one way of putting it."

"He can be difficult, but he's a talented reporter, and he knows what he's talking about. I know that he's abrasive, but he's not a bad guy once you get to know him."

Not a bad guy? We clearly weren't talking about the same man. I thought of the nasty comments, the glares, and the open hostility.

"Honestly? I don't really want to get to know him," I said. "I'd rather he stay on his side of the office, and I'll stay on mine. The less contact we have the better. We just rub each other the wrong way."

Chuck frowned. "I've heard some rumors about him giving you a hard time about Cleary. Is that the problem? We don't have a policy against dating coworkers, but I should tell you that your personal life needs to stay out of the office."

I bristled. "Seth and I are not involved. And for the record, if I have to keep my personal life out of the office, than shouldn't that mean he doesn't get to make comments about my personal life?"

He laughed good-naturedly. "Good point. I was just wondering… something like that would really hack James off is all I meant. I'll talk to him and make sure he gives you your space."

"Thank you."

He leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. "Now, I heard a rumor that you have cupcakes at your desk. _Chocolate_ cupcakes."

"You heard right. Stop by later and grab one."

He smiled and gave a dismissive wave. "Okay, great. That's all, Bella, you have a good day."

"Really? That's it?"

"Yep, like I said, this was really just an informal check in. You're doing a good job, and I'm extremely satisfied with your work. Just keep the personal stuff out of the office and everyone will be happy."

I wandered back to my desk in a bit of a daze. I hoped that Chuck's talk with James didn't make things worse than they already were, but then, I wasn't terribly specific about the issues I'd been having. It would probably be a finger-wagging, stern-talking-to kind of conversation. James couldn't hold that against me, right?

Without realizing it, I stopped at Seth's desk. He was taking shots at a small basketball hoop with balled up pieces of notebook paper. Scraps littered the floor of his cube, and his desk was in complete disarray, in sharp contrast to my starkly organized workspace.

"How'd it go?" He took another shot and made it, the tiny ball dropping into the wastepaper basket below.

I shrugged. "Fine. Apparently there's a rumor going around that we're seeing each other. He told me to keep my personal affairs out of the office."

He frowned and spun to face me.

"Seriously? I thought that was just James being a dick, I didn't think people actually believed it."

"I told him it wasn't true," I assured him. He nodded, but for a second I thought he looked almost disappointed.

"Good."

"Yeah…" I trailed off awkwardly. "Well, um, I'm going to go finish up for the day."

He nodded absently and turned back to his pile of paper basketballs. "Sounds good. Keep your chin up, Bella. It'll all work out."

That evening the sky took on an inky charcoal color, and a thick sheet of white covered the city streets. It was the first time I had really seen Chicago under snow cover, and it was breathtaking. I almost felt like lying down in the middle of the street and making a snow angel. Unfortunately, traffic was a little heavy. The idea had merit though, and a brilliant idea came to me on the commute home.

I called Edward on my walk back from the train.

"Is there anywhere to go sledding around here?"

"Sledding? As in, you, sitting on a tiny piece of plastic, whizzing down hills at a rapid pace? I'm not sure I can get behind this idea. Safety reasons. You understand."

"Ha ha. Seriously, I want to go sledding. You in?"

"I don't have a sled. Do you?"

I laughed. "Shit, no. Want to pick me up and we can go buy one? Come on, the snow is packy and perfect."

"How can I say no to packy and perfect?" he sighed. "Are you at home?"

"I should be there in about five minutes. Then I just have to change and…" I trailed off and laughed loudly.

"You have to get changed and what?"

"Buy gloves and a hat?" I offered weakly, still giggling a little. Edward groaned.

"You're a total noob. This is ridiculous, don't they teach you anything in Arizona? Amateur."

"Noob? What is that, hacker slang? Seriously, Edward, you spend too much time with fourteen year olds."

"Shut up and get changed. I'll pick you up in ten minutes, and you better at least have boots, because we don't have time for any more of your shenanigans. If we're going sledding, we're doing it right."

"Okay, Grandma, I won't waste your time with my hanky panky."

"I didn't say anything about hanky panky," he shot back, promptly disconnecting the call.

Despite the bitter chill and the fact that my hair was swiftly freezing in hunks on my shoulders, I was suddenly very, very warm. Rushing up the stairs, I got undressed in record time and then put on as many layers as I could. Leggings, jeans, three shirts, and a sweater. I don't like to be cold, alright? I was quite impressed with my ingenuity, considering I hadn't played in the snow since I was eight and I was still drastically under-stocked as far as winter clothing went.

I was pulling my oversized sweatshirt on when I heard Edward knock.

"It's open," I called, reaching for my jacket and walking back toward the living room.

"You really shouldn't leave your door unlocked," he started, but he stopped speaking as soon as he saw me. His lips twitched and he raised an eyebrow as he gave me a once over.

"Do you think you might be a little underdressed?"

Smug bastard, standing there in his jeans, thick cable knit sweater and Columbia jacket. He had a bright green ski cap pulled over his ears and a matching scarf around his neck, sturdy boots on his feet.

"Yes, yes, let's all laugh at the out-of-towner. Can we go get our sleds now?"

Less than an hour later we were at the top of a big hill in Dan Ryan Woods, equipped with a new, red double sled. Edward insisted the double would be more practical. I wasn't sure about that, but my winter expertise was a little rusty, so I let him lead.

"Okay, Randy, you ready for this?" Edward had spent our entire shopping trip making fun of the way I was dressed, calling me Snowball, Creampuff, and Marshmallow. His latest inspiration, Randy, was a hilarious throwback to _A Christmas Story_. I was not amused.

I swear it was that nickname that cursed me.

The buildup was incredible. Other sledders were spread out along the hill, and we sat, perched on the edge, teetering precariously. Edward insisted on sitting in the back, since it was my idea to go sledding and that somehow translated into my being the one completely covered in snow at the bottom of the hill. I was wedged between his legs with my back snug against his chest and his arms wrapped securely around my waist.

"You ready for this?" He whispered into my hat.

I stared down, suddenly realizing how very far there was to slide.

"Maybe not—" I started.

"Too late!" he whooped, pushing us off with a swift shove and leaning forward into me. I screamed loudly and clung to the sides of the sled, while Edward laughed manically behind me. Snow flew up into my face, blinding me and clinging to every surface. When we finally skid to a halt, I was crusty with ice and cold, wet snow. It was down my shirt and in my eyes and ears, lurking in my socks and in the creases of my jeans.

Edward was still laughing as he stood and brushed himself off. When I didn't move from my seat on the sled, he offered me his hand.

"That… was awesome," he said, dusting snowflakes off my shoulders.

"I'm so cold," I whimpered. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Bella, we're out in the dark, in the middle of December, at the bottom of a hill covered in about six inches of snow. Of course you're cold. Suck it up, this was your idea. Now come on, let's go again."

He turned and started trudging up the hill, pulling our sled behind him. I grumbled obscenities under my breath, but followed him nevertheless.

The first time I fell, I attributed it to an icy patch.

The second time I was sure I had tripped on my shoelaces.

After falling flat on my face about five times, I started to crawl up the hill on my hands and knees, thinking that would make it better. Edward was already waiting at the top, watching my progress with increased amusement. The path to the top had been worn in throughout the afternoon, and the slick trail kept giving way. Every time I got close to the top I would slip and end up sliding backwards several feet.

"Try chipping footholds in the track with your toe," he called after about five minutes of watching me struggle just out of reach.

"I can't get up," I wailed, sitting down and pouting. "This hill refuses to be climbed. And if you think I'm going to get back on that sled after spending ten minutes trying to get to the top again, you're crazy."

In the end, Edward pulled me up by lying on his stomach and stretching out to grasp my arms. He coaxed me back onto the sled, but only by promising me that it was the last run. Our entire sledding trip took about 45 minutes.

Thirty of those were spent trying to get my ass up that hill.

When we got back to his car, Edward made a big show of brushing me off so I wouldn't get snow on his interiors. I called him a baby and flicked a particularly large chunk of half frozen snow at him. He retaliated, and soon we were flinging snow at each other, ducking behind either side of the car and shrieking like children. He called a truce after a few minutes and shot me a grin, which was made all the more charming by the way his nose and cheeks glowed red.

"You want some hot chocolate?" I asked, deliriously happy about the seat warmers that were currently working overtime to keep my body temperature above freezing. "I have lots of it at my place—I even made cupcakes yesterday. It's the least I can do after you bought me a sled and then carried me up a giant hill."

"Hot chocolate sounds fantastic," he agreed quietly. "And I can't remember the last time I had a cupcake."

We drove back toward my apartment, wrapped in an atmosphere that wasn't _quite_ relaxed, with the radio softly complementing the drifting snowflakes flurrying by outside. There was actually an open spot near the front door, a miracle at this time of night, and Edward pulled in and hurried around to get my door.

"We can't have you falling again so close to home," he joked as he pulled me up over the snow bank.

I made him take his boots off on my doormat while I sprinted to my bedroom to peel off my wet layers. The considerable amount of time I had just spent sitting on my butt in the snow had soaked my jeans and leggings, and my legs were white and blotchy from the cold. I shoved them back into a pair of soft sweats and grabbed some oversized flannel pants for Edward, just in case he wanted to change. Finally I pulled on a tank top and wrapped a loose cardigan around my shoulders.

When I got back to the living room, Edward was staring at my movie collection. He had stripped off his sweater, but his jeans were waterlogged and clinging to him in suggestive ways. I cleared my throat so he would turn around before I could stare at his ass for too long. He whipped around, his eyes traveling from my legs up to my face. It was the exact same perusal he had given me earlier, but this time, behind the amusement I saw a sharp edge of _something more_. I held in my shiver and tossed the pants at him before padding to my kitchen to heat water for the hot chocolate.

"Thanks," he called after me. I nodded, even though he probably couldn't see me, and kept walking.

In the safety of my kitchen, I exhaled loudly and ran my fingers through my limp, wet hair. The tension wasn't exactly new, but it had come out of nowhere this evening. One second we were playing in the snow, completely relaxed, and the next…

I looked down and groaned. Nights and nights of dressing carefully, outfits and hairstyles designed to get the optimal reaction from him, and what was I wearing tonight? Grey sweatpants and a tank top that said "Don't Fuck with Mr. Zero." Renee had bought it for me as a joke when I was 18. It was an homage to my love of _When Harry Met Sally_, as well as a carefully calculated gesture to embarrass the crap out of me when I left for college. She gave it to me in front of my brand new roommate, a strange girl who spent most of our freshman year walking around our dorm room in her bra, the same ratty pair of boxer shorts, and nothing else. We didn't have a lot in common.

I was startled when Edward walked into my kitchen, running his hands through his hair and humming something sweet under his breath.

"Cupcakes?" he asked with a half-smile, and I rolled my eyes and pointed him to the Tupperware container next to the oven.

He moaned quietly after his first bite, shoving the rest of the cupcake into his mouth in an uncharacteristically sloppy move. Crumbs littered his grey t-shirt, but he was too busy licking the frosting off his fingers to notice.

I reached over and brushed the stray crumbs off his chest, laughing at his sheepish smile.

"I wish I had a camera right now, your mother would be horrified."

He pouted a little while he finished swallowing. "Don't be like that, your cupcakes are _really _good. I think you may have drugged me."

"You're sweet, but I swear there are no illicit substances in those cupcakes, just lots and lots of chocolate."

He leaned on the counter, propping himself up on an elbow and smiling lazily. "Well whatever you put in them, I'm not leaving without eating at least two more."

I poked his stomach and tickled his side. "Now, now, you'll lose that strapping figure, Mr. Cullen. What will the ladies think?"

He laughed wildly, twisting away from my hands and spinning me around so my head was nestled in the crook of his elbow. I tried to swing my arms around but he used his free hand to restrain me.

"Gotcha now, don't I?" he crooned, still laughing breathlessly. "Now, what am I going to do with you?"

The tea kettle started to whistle loudly and I ducked out of his arms. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he had felt it, and my face was flushed.

"You still want hot chocolate?" I asked, careful not to let my voice shake. I poured a mug of steaming water and added the mix slowly, measuring far more carefully than was necessary. When I finished stirring, I turned back and almost dropped my mug.

Edward's face was darkened and conflicted. We stared for an immeasurable minute before he shook his head and sighed.

"Actually I should probably go. It's late, and I have to be at school early tomorrow."

"Edward, what—?"

"I just have to go." His tone was high and false, and I trailed behind him as he practically ran from my kitchen and grabbed his wet things. He stuffed his hat on his head and stepped into his boots, shoe laces untied. "I'll wash your pants and get them back to you on Thursday, okay?"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him back before he could get to the door.

"Not okay. What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"

Despite the fact that he loomed over me, he looked very small in that moment. We stood toe to toe, neither one giving an inch.

"You never do anything wrong, Bella," he breathed, shoulders hunched, staring down at me with a mixture of sadness and confusion. "That's part of the problem."

My face was tipped up to his and my breaths were coming in shallow gasps now. Blood pounded in my ears as I took in the way he stared at my lips.

_Kiss me._

_Don't kiss me, you're not ready._

_Fuck it, just kiss me!_

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists tight at my sides. I felt, rather than saw, Edward's face tilt down and move toward my own.

_This is it. Oh my fucking God, this is FINALLY it._

His lips brushed over my forehead, then the bridge of my nose.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking a step back. "I'll talk to you soon."

I opened my eyes just in time to see him open my door and disappear into the hall, leaving me thunderstruck and tingly and completely confused.

* * *

**A/N: First off, thank you for being so patient with me. School just started again, and things have been hectic, so my writing has kind of had to take a backseat out of pure necessity. My update schedule will not be predictable from here on out, sadly, but I promise to keep giving you chapters when I can.**

**Thank you thank you thank you! I love every review, every comment. You guys are awesome. Stop by the thread, I leave all kinds of fun hints, and we have a pretty good time! **http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670

**Funny story, almost none of this chapter was planned, but Bella just kind of started making her own decisions and before I knew it, I had this completely unexpected encounter. I hope you like it, I'm pretty happy with how it worked out. Before you ask, no, this isn't the prologue inducing act. When we get there, you will know. Trust me. Let me know what you think!**


	17. Magnetic

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, my social life took a funny turn. Alice had been promoted to a leadership position within the account team she'd been working on. She started working late and skipping lunch, and suddenly it was all I could do to get her on the phone. Emmett and Rosalie were experiencing what Emmett told me was the usual December-January rush at the garage. People were getting into fender benders and not driving carefully on the ice, and business always picked up in the winter months. Because their schedules were so hectic, we decided to call off our Thursday nights until after the holidays.

And Edward… well, Edward was avoiding me.

Avoiding was maybe too strong a way to put it. He was perfectly friendly. We still talked and laughed and spent time together. It was more like there was suddenly a gulf between us; he never touched my hand or tickled me, let alone put his arm around my shoulder. Hugs were out of the question. It was as if he were suddenly allergic to me.

"You're both being ridiculous, but honestly, you should know better," Kate said, taking a casual sip of her Coke and nodding our waiter over. I had spent a lot more time with her since the Cullens had gotten so busy, and she knew everything that was going on between me and Edward. Well, everything that _wasn't_ going on. On this particular Saturday, we had met for some Christmas shopping and lunch.

"The poor guy has been on quite a rollercoaster for the last couple of months," she continued. "Did you ever stop and think about how confused he's got to be? And if you ask me, you haven't been sending the clearest of signals either."

We'd had this argument before. Kate thought I was acting hot and cold, but I was just trying to back off and let Edward lead.

"Maybe he doesn't want to lead," she always argued. "Maybe he wants to be led."

I'd scoff and change the subject, but no matter what I told Kate, what she said made me uneasy. Edward's words before he left that night continued to haunt me.

"_You never do anything wrong, Bella. That's part of the problem."_

Try as I might, I couldn't figure out what he was talking about, and of course we never spoke about it after that. His words, his gentle kiss… that whole encounter was a giant pink elephant that both of us studiously ignored. I took my cues from him and never pushed our boundaries again. Sometimes I would catch him staring at me in a quiet moment, but I was never able to determine what exactly he was looking at.

Kate cleared her throat and pulled me out of my thoughts. "When do you leave for Arizona?"

"As soon as I'm done with work on Thursday. I've got a late flight out of Midway."

"Any plans for New Years? I think Garrett and I are going to a party with a couple of guys from your office. Should be fun, Seth's going." She winked and I rolled my eyes.

Seth. Another complication in my already complicated life. Since the incident with the chair, he had become awkwardly protective, and it was no longer cute or appreciated. I was grateful for his support, but I was sick of being treated like a defenseless little girl. Even Chuck treated me with a paternal air, chuckling knowingly whenever Seth defended me. I almost preferred James' nasty glares—at least I knew he thought of me as a threat.

"Alice mentioned something about a party at her apartment, but I haven't spoken to her in a couple days," I said. "I'll definitely be back by New Year's, but I guess right now I'm playing it by ear."

"Well, if you don't have plans, you know who to call." She stuck her credit card in with our bill and handed it off to the waitress before I could even look at it. When I frowned, she grinned cheekily.

"You can get me a really good Christmas present to pay me back."

I shrugged and gave in, still thinking about New Year's. Edward would undoubtedly be at any party that Alice threw. Would he bring a date? Should I ask him to be _my_ date? What if he brought someone else and I was alone?

I circled around and around, never coming up with a solution. Kate just sighed and followed me out of the restaurant, probably knowing exactly what I was thinking about.

"Just ask him," she hissed, after walking in silence for several blocks. "It's time to shit or get off the pot."

"You make it sound like there's some kind of a deadline for these things," I snapped. "It's not that simple."

"Of course not. God forbid you stop thinking and just act. Who knows what could happen? Don't be such a little coward."

The incident after sledding was what could happen. The new, uncomfortable distance between us was what could happen. Any one of a million scenarios that involved Edward with that sad, conflicted look in his eyes, walking away from me for good…_that _was what could happen.

I would do anything to avoid that scenario, including doing nothing.

I muscled through Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, practically tunnel-visioned in my drive to get to the holidays. I had cashed in some vacation days and gotten Chuck to agree to let me do some work from home, and I was clear until January 2. All I had to do was get through one more day at work.

The temperature plummeted that week. The city couldn't keep up with the ice that crept up the sidewalks, and the slush, snow, and packed ice that covered every surface had long since lost its charm. As I hurried up my steps that night, the only thing on my mind was slipping into some fleece pajama pants and curling up with a mug of tea.

When I got to my hallway, I stopped in surprise. Edward was leaning against my front door, a giant paper bag sitting next to him near my doormat. His jacket was open and half peeled off, and his scarf hung loosely around his neck. With his head resting softly against my door and his eyes closed, he looked peaceful.

"Are you lost?" I called. He opened his eyes and peered down the hall at me, a slow smile spreading over his face.

"No, ma'am. Just thought you'd like some dinner." He picked up the paper bag and waved it at me. "I got Chinese food, and it's too much for one person. You hungry?"

"Is there Kung Pao chicken in that bag?"

"Absolutely."

"Then you're on, come on in." Kicking off my boots, I unlocked the door and flipped on my living room light. He paused uncertainly at the doorway.

"Edward, it's cold and there's a draft. Come in and close the door."

Without looking back, I went straight for the kitchen and grabbed plates, forks, and a wad of napkins. I dropped them on the coffee table and made a beeline for my bedroom.

_This doesn't change anything_, I told myself sternly. _Fleece pajamas, a cup of tea… and Chinese food._ Thus convinced, I pulled on my pajamas and walked back out into the living room, where Edward had our dinner spread out invitingly. I inhaled the spicy scent and sighed happily.

"You must be some kind of a mind reader," I murmured, half to myself. "I didn't even know I wanted Chinese until I smelled it just now."

He smiled sadly. "On the contrary, I find you incredibly difficult to read."

He offered me a plate and we sat eating in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly, he put down his fork loudly.

"I want to cash in my non-negotiable favor."

I looked up at him, startled. "Okay…"

"Be my date to Alice's party on New Year's. I'm afraid you're going to have to cancel your plans."

"I don't have plans," I said, flushing. "And this seems like a waste of your favor. I would have said yes."

"Ah, but now you have no choice,_ and_ you can't change your mind at the last minute." He grinned at me and picked up his fork again. "And if I have to suffer through Alice's party, then you certainly aren't getting out of it. You should probably let her know you need to go shopping."

I groaned. "How dressy is this party going to be?"

"It's Alice. Your guess is as good as mine."

Then I remembered the purple dress Kate forced me to buy back in October. "Actually, I think I have something. Hold on."

I ducked into my closet and started digging through sweaters and button-downs. Finally I found it. It looked even scarier in my closet than it had on the rack, but I pulled it out and brought it to the living room.

"How's this?" I held the dress against my front and glanced up at Edward. His eyes seemed to darken slightly, but it was probably just a trick of the light. He cleared his throat.

"It's lovely. But can I make one, tiny suggestion?"

I nodded, suddenly apprehensive.

"The fleece doesn't quite match. If you must cover up your legs, I really think you should go with pantyhose."

I tossed the dress at his head, laughing. He caught it, but not before it hit his face and dropped over his head. Pulling it off, he held it against his chest and looked up at me, batting his eyelashes.

"What do you think, is purple my color?"

"Definitely not."

"That sounds like a challenge," he said, smirking and passing the dress back to me. "Don't forget, I have Alice at my disposal, and a roomful of teenagers anxious to give me fashion advice."

"Yeah, and those teenagers also told you that pumpkin tie was a good choice," I laughed, remembering his ridiculous get-up for the Halloween concert we went to.

He sighed dramatically and stood up, grabbing our plates. "That tie is gold, Swan. You should see the Christmas tie I have picked out for tomorrow. It blows the Halloween tie out of the water."

"Dancing reindeer? Skydiving elves? Santa in a Speedo?"

"Santa in a Speedo? I'm not sure that would be school appropriate. We do have a dress code, you know. No, it's totally classy. A real crowd pleaser."

"I'm not even going to ask," I said resolutely. I followed him to the kitchen with our garbage and put the dishes in the sink to soak. "Although you should probably know that being good looking does not give you a free license to wear ugly clothing. I'm surprised Alice didn't teach you that rule."

When I turned around, he was looking at me with a small smile on his face. "You know, you call me good looking an awful lot. See something you like?"

I flushed, but forced myself to maintain eye contact and deadpanned, "You caught me. I want you, I need you. Oh baby, right there."

He took a step closer to me, smile still in place. I had to tip my head back to keep looking him in the eye.

"That," he breathed, "sounds like another challenge."

I swear to God, I stopped breathing for a full five seconds. He grinned a little wider and turned to leave the kitchen.

"Will you be back in town before New Year's Eve?"

I blinked. _What the hell just happened?_ I followed him to the front door, where he was pulling on his jacket.

"Um, yeah, I have a flight back on the 30th."

He frowned.

"I have plans with Emmett all day on the 30th, so I guess I won't see you until the party. Alice told me to be there at 8. Can I pick you up about quarter till?"

"Sure, okay," I said, still startled by his sudden shifts in behavior.

"Don't sound so excited," he teased. He pulled open the door and stepped into the hallway. I started to close the door, but his hand shot out at the last minute.

"I almost forgot," he said. "I got you something." He reached into his pocket and tugged out a small, flat square, wrapped in bright red paper. "Merry Christmas."

"Thank you." I took the package gingerly. "I don't have your present wrapped yet, would you mind if I waited until New Year's?"

"You didn't need to get me anything, Bella," he sighed. "This is more of… I don't know, I felt like you should have it. It's… well, hopefully you'll understand when you open it. I'll see you on the 31st."

As soon as he was out of sight, I closed the door and ripped at the paper. It was a CD in a clear, plastic case with _For Bella_ written across the bottom in Edward's curvy script. I slipped the disk into my CD player and hit play.

It was just a piano, sweet and simple. The first song was a medley of Christmas music, probably arranged by Edward, the notes building from a one handed rendition of _O Christmas Tree_ into an incredibly complicated, layered _Silent Night_. When the notes died out, I almost put the track on repeat, but I was too eager to hear the rest of the CD.

I sat there for an hour and a half, completely transfixed by the songs pouring from my speakers. I recognized a few of the tunes Edward played for me that night at his apartment. There didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to the songs he played, other than they were all his. The disc ended with a haunting, sad melody. The lilting notes made me feel sleepy and warm. It ended with an unresolved chord, dying out in a gentle hum.

Edward had given me his music… an intensely personal piece of himself that he didn't share with anyone. I wanted to call him and ask him about it: why had he given this to me today? Why, after keeping his very careful distance from me for weeks, had he suddenly changed his mind?

Maybe Kate was right, and he was every bit as confused and disoriented as I was. Maybe it had taken him this long to figure out what he wanted.

I didn't have the answers, and a big part of me was afraid that if I called and asked him about it, he'd retreat again. So, like a giant coward, I did nothing. I would see him in a week. One week. I could handle that.

*****

"Are you sure you have to go? We're having a big party, you could see some of your friends from ASU."

We were at the airport in Phoenix, right before the first security checkpoint. Renee had been needling me about staying around for New Year's all week. She said she didn't realize how much she missed me until I was home. It was hard to say goodbye, knowing it would likely be months before I saw her again, but sometime in the last several months I had begun to feel at home in Chicago, and I needed to get back. Not to mention, the party at Alice's was non-negotiable. I smiled slightly as I turned back to my mother. Edward made sure I would come home.

"My plane is going to start boarding soon, mom, and you know how long it takes to get through security. I have to go." I gave her a hug and grabbed my bag. "Thanks for the offer, but I have to get home."

She sighed dramatically and hugged me back. "Okay, okay, I get it. Let me know when you land?"

"Love you," I whispered, pulling away and walking toward the metal detectors.

Once I was settled into my seat on the plane, I plugged my headphones back in my ears and started Edward's CD. I had listened to it too many times to count over the last week, memorizing each song and trying to pick apart the meaning behind the music. More than once I wished the songs had lyrics; it would be so much easier to understand if he had used words to tell me… whatever it was he was telling me.

Alice met me at Midway's baggage claim. She insisted on picking me up since we hadn't been spending much time together. She gave me a huge hug and led me out the door toward her car.

"I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever," she exclaimed. "I'm so sorry, work has been killer. My final presentation is next week, and then we should have the account in the bag. After that, I'm hoping my hours go back to normal."

"That's okay," I sighed dramatically. "I understand. You've made it big, and you don't have time for us little people anymore."

"I'll always have time for you, dork," she laughed. "Besides, I keep up with you through the grapevine. Speaking of which, I hear you and a certain brother of mine have a date tomorrow?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rosalie would kill me," I teased. She smacked my shoulder and huffed.

"That's not who I meant and you know it. Spill! What happened?"

I told her about our bet and Edward's abrupt decision to cash-in. Then I told her about his bizarre behavior over the last month, the forced distance, the covert glances. When I finished, she sighed and shook her head.

"Okay, time for a change in strategy. You need to abandon this whole waiting in the wings scenario. It's not working. I mean, look at how he finally decided to ask you out—by cashing in on a bet so you couldn't say no. Contrary to everything you see in pop culture, guys are every bit as afraid of rejection as women."

"I don't know that we can classify this as asking me out, Alice," I started, but she put up a hand to stop me.

"He asked you to be his date to a party where you will both be getting dressed up and everyone kisses at midnight. I'm so sick of you two tiptoeing around the D word. It's a date. Get over it."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Fine. It's a date."

She cheered and unlocked her car, jumping into the driver's seat and popping the trunk. When I got in, she took off toward the city, still grinning. That was when I noticed the sparkly pendant hanging from her neck.

"Holy crap, where did that thing come from?"

She glanced over at me and then down at her necklace. "Oh this old thing?" She grinned and ran her fingers over it lightly. "Jasper gave it to me for Christmas. Stupid really, I told him he should be saving his money for a ring."

"Are you talking about marriage already? How long have you guys been together?"

"About a year, but we talk about it a lot. We both know this is it. It's just a matter of when, really." She smiled at me again and turned back to the road, and I couldn't help but notice the way her whole body seemed to relax when she talked about Jasper. I felt a flicker of jealousy and sighed, pushing play on my battered old Discman and listening to the strains of Edward's Christmas arrangement come filtering through my headphones.

"You really need to join the 21st century and get an MP3 player or an iPod or something. I can't believe that Discman is still working," Alice laughed. "What are you listening to?"

"Just some Christmas music," I muttered vaguely. She raised an eyebrow at me and waved toward the CD player in her dash.

"Well, wouldn't you like to share with the class?" She grinned cheerily, and I rolled my eyes and pulled out the CD. In a few moments, the simple plunking of _O Christmas Tree_ filled the car. Alice frowned.

"This sounds really familiar," she said. "Who is this?"

"It's just a mix," I answered, suddenly remembering my promise to Edward. _Just between us._ Shit.

As the song progressed, Alice's eyebrows knit together and she started chewing on her lip. I was just thankful she hadn't seen Edward's unmistakable handwriting on the disc when I put it in. That would have sealed her suspicions.

We would be back to my apartment in ten minutes. I could grab the CD and claim ignorance, and she would never be any the wiser. I thought I was going to get away with it, too, but then disaster struck. The second track started playing. Her expression changed to one of surprised recognition, and she cranked up the volume a little.

I held my breath as we sat in silence throughout the entire second track, Alice concentrating on the music while I feigned nonchalance. When the song ended, she turned down the volume and cleared her throat.

"Just a mix, huh?"

I made a noncommittal noise, still clinging to the hope that I could get out of the car without being busted.

"Funny, Edward wrote a song that sounded just like that when he was about 16 years old. Drove me crazy, because he would play it on that stupid keyboard in his room, and I could hear him through my ceiling at all hours of the night."

"Outrageous coincidence?" I offered weakly.

"Next."

"Doppelganger?"

"Next."

"Edward gave me a CD of his compositions as a Christmas present?"

We stopped at a light and she turned toward me, openmouthed. "This whole CD is Edward? How many songs are there?"

"About 15… give or take."

"I didn't even know he composed anymore! That's great! Is he planning on playing in public? I can't wait to talk to him about it—"

"Alice, stop," I interrupted. "You can't tell him you know. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, he didn't want people making a big deal out of it. I think he'll tell you guys eventually, but can you just cool it for now? Pretend you don't know?"

She frowned again. "Why does it matter? That's such a stupid secret."

"Well it's a secret I shouldn't have shared. Please keep your mouth shut. For me?" I gave her my best puppy dog eyes, pouting for good measure.

"Fiiiiiine," she sighed. "But you owe me. Big. Do you know how annoyed Mom is going to be when she finds out I knew and didn't tell her? She always loved listening to his songs."

"He played me the one he wrote for her," I said quietly. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, she always loved that one." She pulled up to my curb and sighed again, rubbing a hand across her face. When she looked at me again, her eyes were softer. "Thanks for everything you're doing for him, Bella. I know it doesn't seem like much, but you're bringing him back to himself. It's kind of amazing, actually."

I shrugged and looked down, trying to control the crazy grin that was threatening to split across my face.

"Now let's get your cute butt upstairs and prep for tomorrow. You have to look so fabulous he can't possibly pretend he's not interested anymore. And that's when you're going to pounce."

It was fun to spend the afternoon with Alice, just being silly. She had brought mud masks and hot oil treatments, and we ate junk food and danced around my living room in our sweats. Well, I wore sweats. Alice wore a velour track suit. When she left that night, she gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow. Knock 'em dead."

*****

I couldn't count the number of times I had panicked over getting ready to meet Edward since moving to Chicago. Every time, I would carefully calculate what would make me look casual, like one friend meeting another. There were rules and boundaries.

Tonight, I was throwing all that out the window. I would cross every line I had drawn, and to hell with the consequences.

It was easily the most time I had spent getting ready to go out in a year. I spent a half hour in the shower, carefully shaving my legs to perfection. Hot rollers and a whole sleeve of bobby pins ensured not only did my hair look damn good, but it wouldn't be moving any time in the next 12 hours or so. I said a little prayer when I slipped on the dress I hadn't worn since October, but luck was on my side and it still fit perfectly. I finished my makeup with five minutes to spare, so I started pacing my tiny living room in my heels, trying to take deep breaths and stay calm.

I opened the door an instant after I heard his sharp knock. He looked a little startled, and then stunned as he took in my dress. I said a silent thank you to Kate and smiled at him as I stared shamelessly back. That's when I saw his tie.

I snorted, breaking our stare down. "Seriously, Cullen?"

"You said I wouldn't be able to get away with purple," he said with a smirk. "Well, I'd say you were wrong."

It was worse than the Halloween tie. Bright purple backdrop, row after row of tiny dancing New Year's babies, all of them wearing top hats, diapers, and little 'Happy New Year' sashes. "Where on earth did you find that god-awful tie?"

"I'll have you know I found this tie _on clearance_. Can you believe it? They were practically giving it away."

"I'm shocked," I deadpanned. He held the door open and I slipped past him, brushing against his chest as I went.

"Don't you need a coat?" he asked, taking in my bare shoulders and back.

I shrugged. "I'll be fine, it's not like I'll be outside long."

"Good thing I have a cab waiting," he grumbled, wrapping one long arm around me. Apparently the he was throwing his recent no-touching rule out the window. "You'll be lucky if you don't turn a nice shade of blue while we're out there."

"We're taking a cab?"

"Yeah, I didn't feel like driving tonight. Alice invited the family to stay at her place after the party, so we can just crash there. Although you and I are probably going to have to fight over the fold out."

I grinned and decided it was time to show my hand. "We don't have to fight for it. I passed kindergarten, you know. We could share."

He paused and looked back at me with a half smile on his face. Holding the door open with an 'after you' gesture, he chuckled and said, "I don't know, I'm a bit of a bed hog."

The cab ride over was short and quiet. Edward opened his mouth to speak a couple of times, but every time he shook his head and closed his mouth again.

Step one: Catch him off guard. Check.

Alice had gone all out, of course. The living room looked like a disco ball. Silver reflected off of every surface, and I was a little afraid she was going to recruit me to clean up the glitter after the fact.

"What do you think?" she asked, bubbling over in excitement. Jasper leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, barely holding in his laughter.

"It's perfect," I said firmly, earning a squeal from Alice and an incredulous stare from Edward. She shot back off to the kitchen to finish plating the food and I shrugged. It was her night, I wasn't about to tell her I was likely to go blind from the reflections off her decorations.

"Don't you dare say anything sarcastic," I whispered in a low voice, hooking my arm through his and leading him toward the couch. He rolled his eyes and followed me. It was a simple gesture, and not unprecedented, but I felt like my arm was humming with electricity where it touched his.

Step two: Initiate physical contact. Check.

By 10 o'clock, the party was in full swing. Alice had a lot of friends, and most of them were men. I was starting to understand where she got her endless supply of blind dates from. By some minor miracle, none of the guys she had set me up with were there, but there were plenty of other guys angling for some face time. After fending off at least five, I made Edward promise not to leave me alone for longer than a couple of minutes at a time. He agreed immediately, shooting a glare at my most recent suitor, a chunky blonde named Mike who had a thing for Dungeons and Dragons.

Emmett and Rosalie had managed to get a babysitter for the whole night, so they were cutting loose in a big way. After loudly claiming the spare bedroom, Emmett proceeded to take five tequila shots while Rose looked on, laughing her ass off. "I am soooo not holding your hair later," she said, mixing herself cranberry vodka. "You can mop your own ass off of the bathroom floor tonight."

He pouted for a minute, then recognized a song that was playing and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her bodily from the room to go dance.

Edward wasn't drinking much, but he had loosened up enough to start touching me unconsciously. Alice kept shooting me grins and thumbs up, which was really annoying because every time she did it I had to distract him so he wouldn't see. "What in the world can that be?" only works so many times.

By 11:30, I had convinced Edward to dance with me. Normally, I'm not much of a dancer, two left feet and all. But this was part of my master plan.

Step three: Make him so horny he'll have to kiss me at midnight.

It was a low blow, and perhaps not very sophisticated, but I had finally realized something. I didn't have to hold back with Edward. He made it easy to be myself, and even when things were weird between us he was my best friend. It was, as Kate would say, time to shit or get off the pot.

With 15 minutes to go until midnight, my plan was working well. He refused to dance to the hip hop songs, saying they were an excuse for sex with clothes on, and I accused him of chaperoning one too many high school dances.

"If you'd seen the things I'd seen," he said, giving a huge shudder. I punched his arm and he grabbed me around the waist, pulling me close in a more traditional stance. "This is what dancing is supposed to be."

We swayed slowly, our hands intertwined, faces inches apart. He turned us gracefully, and I stumbled on his feet.

"I'm sorry," I yelped, suddenly nervous. He just laughed and adjusted his grip.

"It's fine, you have little feet. You didn't hurt me. Just feel the rhythm. Don't think so hard."

I stopped looking at him and tried to watch our feet, which only made me trip more. It didn't help that Edward was attempting to give me a dance lesson in a packed space full of other dancers who weren't so opposed to bumping and grinding.

"Look at me," he murmured, just loud enough so I could hear him. I looked up, and I was trapped. I couldn't look away if I tried. His green eyes burned into mine, our hearts pounding rapidly together, out of beat with the music.

We danced, locked together and quiet, alone in a crowded room. Nothing and no one existed but the two of us, at least until Alice's voice finally broke through the weird hum that clogged my hears and blocked the noises of party goers, announcing the countdown. I peered over at her, standing on a chair with Jasper's arm steadying her from behind. The crowd started to chant.

"10…9…"

"Edward…" I didn't recognize my own voice. It was low and husky. He stared down at me, breathing heavily.

"8…7…6…"

My breath came in quiet gasps as I focused on his face—his face which was moving steadily closer to mine. I stared at his lips. Those lips had been taunting me for weeks. They parted slightly.

"5…4…3…"

"Bella, I want—"

He stopped, apparently unable to find the words. I knew the feeling. His hand gripped my hip securely, and he ran his other hand up my arm, tracing my skin lightly with the tips of his fingers and coming to a rest at the nape of my neck. I shivered but didn't look away.

"2…1…"

This was it. His eyes were still open, full of silent questions. There wouldn't be any questions once we were done tonight. I pushed myself up on my toes and closed my eyes, tilting my face toward his. The last thing I saw was his tongue darting out over his lips. Then, ever so slowly, our lips touched.

"Happy New Year!"

It was like the first time you ever looked through a kaleidoscope: colors everywhere, narrowing to a sharp point and then exploding into shapes you didn't even know existed before that moment. The second his lips touched mine my arms flew around his neck and pulled him tighter to me.

I couldn't breathe, and my hands were shaking where they gripped Edward's shoulders, but stopping simply wasn't an option. People were singing and cheering, and his lips were still pressed firmly to mine, moving frantically as we clutched at each other. When we finally broke apart for air, he pulled me into his arms and buried his face in the crook of my neck, breathing erratically. All around us the celebration continued, but still we stood, isolated, braced for impact.

After another immeasurable moment, he pulled away and looked down at me again. I panicked, remembering that day in my apartment when we had come so close and he had run away. I didn't know if I could stand it if he ran again tonight. He looked like he was trying to decide something, but I didn't want him to feel like he had to make every decision alone anymore. So I took a step closer to him and clasped our hands together.

"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

He cocked his head, eyebrows furrowed together. Then a miracle happened. He smiled. He smiled a wide, beautiful, just-for-me smile. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against mine and whispered the two words that made everything worth it.

"Then don't."

* * *

**A/N: WOAH! That's right. I left it there.**

**Egads. I'm so friggin' sorry that I've been so slow. I will not make excuses, but I will say that at least this chapter was a little longer than average for your enjoyment.**

**Thanks for the reviews, the forum visits, the alerts and the favorites. It means a lot to me!**

**1. I may have developed a crush on Edward's bad ties. I have a picture of the Christmas tie (not described in the chapter, but yeah, I found one) and a link to the New Year's tie that I'll be putting up in the forum.** http://www9dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670

**2. Take a deep breath. My updates are slowing down, but just to reassure those of you who left somewhat panicked reviews, I have not abandoned this story. I just don't have as much time, and inspiration has been a little slow. You guys are so awesome, I'm sure you understand. Right? :)**

**3. I've got a new project in the works. (Don't panic, I will NOT abandon this story!) I'm co-writing a new AH fic with the fabulous spanglemaker, author of the tremendously fantabulous story _Faking It_. (That was your cue to go read it, if you haven't already. Seriously, like right now.) Put me on author alert so you don't miss it! It's called _Girl with a Red Umbrella_.**


	18. Shiny Happy People

"_I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore." _

_He cocked his head, eyebrows furrowed together. Then a miracle happened. He smiled. He smiled a wide, beautiful, just-for-me smile. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against mine and whispered the two words that made everything worth it._

"_Then don't."_

_

* * *

  
_

He started walking backwards, pulling me through the throng toward the hall.

"Where are we going?" I asked, not really caring.

He grinned and stopped in front of the door to Alice's guest room. "Emmett and Rosalie won't need this room for a while yet," he said. He opened the door and pulled me in after him, closing it behind me with a click.

I looked up at him, unable to control my smile. I'm sure we looked like complete idiots, standing there chest to chest and smiling wide, toothy grins at each other.

He lowered his face to mine and kissed me again, softly. I responded instantly, reaching up to thread my fingers through his hair and pull him closer to me.

It was a surreal moment. We were backed against the wall in the tiny guest room, breathing each other's air and groping blindly in the dark. His hands wandered down my back, pausing at my waist before making a circuit up my arms and around to the bare skin of my back again. His lips left mine and trailed down my neck, his hot breath leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake.

"Should we…" I panted, my eyes rolling back a little as I felt his tongue dart out and trace along my collarbone. "Should we talk about this?"

He pulled away and looked down at me. I gasped audibly. His pupils were dilated, whether from passion or the darkness of the room, I couldn't tell. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and his hair stuck up in every direction. He exhaled loudly through his nose. Dropping his hands, he walked backwards until the backs of his knees hit the bed. He sat down and patted the space next to him.

"I don't know that moving this to a bed is a step in the right direction," I said, laughing.

"Do you want to talk or not?" he said, giving me a crooked grin that made my heart pound double time. "I mean, I was having fun before, but I guess it's up to you."

I bit my lip to keep my grin semi-contained and crossed the room to sit next to him. He reached out his hand and wrapped it around my own, pulling me over until I was practically in his lap. I laughed and he shrugged.

"You were too far away."

"I'm sorry, who are you and what have you done with Edward?"

He leaned in and dragged his nose up my neck, kissing the edge of my cheek lightly. "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't," I protested, pulling away and looking up at his smug smile. "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, you've been like a pod person the last few weeks. Not that I'm not thrilled about your attitude adjustment, but I don't understand. Explain this," I waved a hand between us, "to me."

"I've just been figuring some stuff out," he said with a shrug. When he didn't say anything else, I poked his side, right where I knew he was ticklish. He yelped and squirmed away.

"Not good enough," I insisted. He grabbed my wrists so I couldn't poke him again.

"That was uncalled for," he said with a mock stern face. "Calm down, I just have to figure out how to say this."

"That sounds serious," I murmured, suddenly nervous despite the fact that his hands had been all over me not two minutes ago. "Should I be worried?"

"No, it's nothing like that," he said, tracing his fingers in random patterns on the backs of my hands. He looked down at our hands and chewed on his bottom lip. When he looked up, his face was set and determined.

"Look, we've spent a lot of time together since you moved to Chicago. You're one of my best friends. You're the only one who knows what really happened with Lauren, and I feel like I've really been leaning on you in a big way, even before everything happened."

"Okay… and that's bad?"

"No, not bad. I just … when my feelings for you started changing I got a little freaked out. And I was pretty sure you were only being so nice to me because, let's face it, my life has been kind of a train wreck lately."

I started to interrupt, but he put a hand firmly over my mouth. "Let me finish. I pulled away out of self-preservation. I didn't know if I could deal with you shooting me down less than a month after my girlfriend turned out to be a lesbian. And then I'd have to deal with another round of your pity."

I couldn't let that stand. "Edward, I don't pity you."

He gave a dry chuckle and shook his head. "It's okay, you don't have to lie."

"I'm not lying. I won't ever lie to you."

He looked so unsure, I couldn't stop myself. I leaned in and kissed him again, trying to show him exactly how I felt. I may have gotten a little carried away, because soon we were panting and groping again, this time horizontal on the bed. He was lying between my legs, kissing across the top of my breasts, my hands buried in his hair.

"Wait, wait," I panted. He sighed and fell into the crook of my neck.

"What?" his voice was muffled against my skin. Our lower halves were pressed together, and I'm pretty sure that Edward was very…_happy_ about our current position. I felt guilty for stopping him, but I had to understand.

"What changed?"

He lay quietly for a few seconds, his breaths coming in tiny puffs of hot air against my neck. He rolled off of me and propped himself up on one elbow, ruffling his hair with his other hand.

"Well for one thing, you decided to kiss me." He grinned and I couldn't help but smile back. "That made things a lot simpler."

"But before that," I prodded. "Why did you ask me to be your date?"

"Who else would I ask?"

I don't know what I was expecting, but his answer deflated me a bit. "Oh. I see." The comforter was suddenly very interesting. I rolled away from him and pulled myself up into a sitting position.

"That didn't come out right," he sighed. "Come back here." He reached out and grabbed my arm, hauling me across the bed. I ended up snuggled up to his side, spooned against his stomach.

"What I _meant_ was I couldn't have invited anyone else. You were the only one I wanted to ask, and the only person I could have actually had fun with at this ridiculous party. You're the one I want to call when I have a good day, or a bad one. Keeping my distance has been torture, and I guess I cracked a little with the invite. And then you wore this dress," he inhaled sharply and his fingers traced a tortuous line from the base of my neck down my back, "and I couldn't very well _not_ touch you. God, you're beautiful."

His lips started following his fingers and he pulled me into him even tighter.

"I have a question," he breathed, whispering in my ear as his hands caressed my hips.

"Mmmm?" I groaned, reaching up and clutching at his neck.

"Why did you kiss me? Not that I'm complaining."

I stilled at the question and then shifted so I was facing him. "You don't know?"

His eyebrows knit together as he looked into my eyes. "No. What is this? I mean, I understand if this is a onetime thing and you don't want to get involved with me, I know I'm a mess—"

I couldn't help it. I swear, it was completely unintentional. But the fact that Edward thought that _I_ was out of his league, that somehow I wouldn't want to be with him, made me laugh uncontrollably. He stopped talking, but continued to look at me in consternation.

"What?"

"You're ridiculous," I wheezed, hugging him close to me. "I kissed you because I've been trying to be patient and give you space and let you heal but I just couldn't stay away anymore. I kissed you because I think we could be great together."

His breath caught, and he leaned back to look me in the eye. "Really? You mean that?"

I nodded and he laughed, kissing me quickly before pulling away again. "What if this screws everything up?" he asked quietly.

"I trust you," I said firmly. "I trust this. Do you?"

He nodded slowly. "I trust you."

It suddenly dawned on me that I was lying on a bed with Edward, wearing a tiny dress, while we were both slightly drunk. A winning combination if I ever heard of one. I wedged one leg in between his and hitched the other around his hip.

He caught my mood immediately and dipped his face to mine, brushing his lips back and forth over my own. I captured his bottom lip between mine and sucked gently, shuddering when he moaned softly.

I was just about to deepen the kiss when there was a loud pounding on the door.

"Edward, damn it, I called dibs!" Emmett's drunken voice came through the door, accompanied by the sounds of laughter.

The door flew open, barely giving us time to sit up, and Rosalie stumbled in, one hand clapped over her eyes. "Are you guys decent?"

"What would you have done if we weren't?" I laughed, pushing off the bed and pulling Edward up with me.

She dropped her hand and frowned, swaying a little. "We leave you alone for an hour and you're still fully clothed? God, that's disappointing." She hiccupped loudly.

"They had their chance," Emmett cut in. "Out, out, out! Party's over, and Rosie and I are going to bed."

"That's a euphemism," Rose added.

"Ew, Emmett, that's my guest bed," Alice whined from out of sight.

"Come on," Edward laughed. "Let's get out of here before something really scarring happens."

Alice's apartment had emptied out, and she and Jasper were standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counters holding glasses of water. When we walked in they looked up, twin smiles on their faces.

"Did we miss the rest of the party?" I asked sheepishly, glancing around at the mess in the kitchen.

"What clued you in?" Jasper laughed. "The empty apartment or the fact that Emmett and Rose just kicked you guys out of the guest room?"

Edward cleared his throat and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. He filled it with water and handed it to me before grabbing another glass for himself. "Alice, I don't suppose you have pajamas to share?"

She rolled her eyes. "You knew you were spending the night and you didn't bring anything? Men. I don't have anything for you, but I can help Bella. You'll just have to sleep in your underwear."

My heart started pounding and a steady flush crept up my neck. Alice was almost out of the kitchen when she stopped. "Ew. Please don't get bodily fluids on my couch."

Edward choked on his water and Jasper snorted.

"I'll just… go get everything set up," I mumbled, slinking from the room before I could get more embarrassed.

"There are sheets and blankets in the hall closet," Jasper called.

I pulled the sheets tight onto the thin mattress, focusing on making hospital corners instead of on the fact that in a few minutes I would be in bed with Edward, who would be wearing far less than the suit he arrived at the party in.

A pair of shorts and a tank top landed on top of the quilt in front of me. I turned to see Alice standing there in her own pajamas.

"You guys going to be okay out here?" she said, a tiny smile playing on her lips.

I shrugged, going for nonchalant. "Sure. Why not?"

"I'm serious," she warned, turning to leave. "No fluids. I like that couch."

Edward hadn't reappeared, and Alice and Jasper were headed down the hall to her bedroom, so I unzipped my dress and shimmied out of it, pulling my nylons down with it. The shorts Alice gave me were tiny and barely covered my butt. This was clearly some kind of a joke. I tugged on them a little bit, but it didn't help. Whatever. I was just about to unhook my strapless bra when I heard a sound behind me.

I turned around and there was Edward, wearing a short sleeved white undershirt and a pair of boxer briefs. He was staring fixedly at my chest, which made me feel unnaturally confident.

"Can I help you?" I asked, startling him. He raised his eyes to my face, a faint blush spreading over his cheeks.

"Uh…sorry," he mumbled, turning around. "I didn't mean to—"

I laughed and pulled on the tank top, unhooking my bra and threading it out through an arm hole.

"Okay, I'm decent," I said, pulling back the blankets and climbing under the covers.

"No," he said darkly. "You're utterly indecent."

Before I could ask tease him any further, he was under the covers with me, pulling them up to his chin and shivering slightly.

"Turn the lights off," I whined. He didn't listen, just rolled toward me and grabbed my waist.

"I think we're going to have to huddle together for warmth," he whispered, tracing the shell of my ear with his nose.

"Are you going to turn off the lights?" I asked insistently. I squirmed away from his grip and turned to him with a pout on my face.

He grimaced. "It's cold out there. You do it."

I pushed my lower lip out and looked up at him through my lashes. "Please?"

"Fine," he griped, shooting me a glare before sprinting for the light switch. When he got back under the covers, he grabbed my waist again, pulling me snug against him and tangling our legs together. He sighed contentedly.

We lay quietly, breathing in time with each other.

"This is nice," I whispered sleepily, lacing my fingers through his. I had forgotten what it was like to sleep wrapped up with a man. It was warm and close, soft and hard all at once. Edward was a veritable furnace, and after only a few minutes I was practically sweating. The scent of his cologne intensified under the sheets and I twisted slightly to smell his shirt.

He let out a slow chuckle. "Did you just sniff me?"

"You smell good."

He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath. "Mmmm, so do you."

His fingers started combing through my hair, picking out bobby pins and untangling curls. After my hair hung limply down my back he moved up to my scalp, rubbing deep slow circles while pressing occasional kisses to my neck. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

*****

"That is the cutest God damn thing I've ever seen."

"Shhhh, they're sleeping."

"No, I just saw him move. He's awake."

"Well, she's sleeping. Keep it down."

"If I have to be awake, they do too. It's too early for this shit. And I'm hungry."

Edward stirred next to me, and I could hear the not-so-quiet whispers around us, moving in and out of the living room and from the direction of the kitchen. I didn't want to open my eyes, so I lay there taking stock of my position. I was on my back, and Edward was draped over me, completely immobilizing me. His head was resting on my shoulder, and one hand clutched at my left breast under our quilt. If I wasn't so disoriented, it would be kind of hilarious. Edward, the sleeping boob bandit. Who knew?

He made a sleepy noise into his pillow and shifted again, nuzzling my ear.

"Good morning," he murmured, so low that the others probably couldn't hear him. His voice was husky and fogged with sleep, but I could detect the hint of a smile there as well.

I grunted and tried to roll out from under him, but he just shifted over, covering me with even more of his body.

"Where are you going?" he whispered, kissing the spot right under my ear.

"Everyone's awake," I mumbled. "We have to get up."

"Who says?"

"I do, you big baby," Rosalie said loudly. I opened my eyes to see her standing over us. "We're going to breakfast, so get your butt out of bed and get dressed."

"In what?" I said, half sitting up. Edward let me move this time, dropping his arms and rubbing his eyes. "I'm not going out to breakfast in that dress."

"Why not?" Edward asked, almost hopefully.

I elbowed him and looked back to Rose, who was rolling her eyes. "We'll find you something in Alice's closet. Edward, you'll just have to wear your suit pants and button down."

"Alice's clothes are not going to fit me," I complained, swinging my legs over the edge of the mattress. Pulling back the blankets, I gestured to my nearly bare legs and the microscopic shorts Alice had given me the night before. "Have you seen these things?"

"Yes," Edward said, grinning and pulling me back onto the pull-out.

Rose made an annoyed sound and frowned again. She was clearly not a morning person. I smiled apologetically.

"You kiss a guy once and he turns into a total depraved pervert."

"Hey, in my defense, it was more than once."

Alice came in then, closely followed by Jasper. They were both dressed already, and when Alice's eyes fell on Edward and I, still cuddled up in bed, her smile nearly split her face in two.

"Good morning," she sang. "Bella, get over here, time to get dressed. I need pancakes, and that means you need clothes."

Rosalie offered me her hand and pulled me up from the fold out, leaving a frowning Edward behind. She passed me off to Alice, who pulled me to her closet faster than I would have thought possible.

"Alice, you're like four inches shorter than me. How am I going to fit into any of your clothes?"

"Relax, I've got some things in here that should work." She dug through the chest of drawers that sat against the back wall of her closet, and finally came up with a pair of dark grey sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt. She handed them off and then pulled a University of Chicago hoodie out from the corner of her hanging clothes.

"There, see? Now get dressed."

I stared at her in shock. "You actually own sweats? Where the hell were these last night when you gave me these shorts?"

"Shut up and put them on. Unless you'd rather go in that dress? I don't think Edward would mind."

I hightailed it to the bathroom to change, not wanting to risk it. By an equally amazing stroke of luck, our shoe size was the same, so I was able to slip on a pair of her running shoes.

A half an hour later we were all sandwiched into a booth in the corner of a busy diner not far from Alice's apartment. No one had commented on the obvious change in Edward's and my relationship, but they kept sending us little smiles or winks. After she got some coffee in her, Rose actually looked quite smug about the whole thing. We had just ordered when Emmett finally broke down.

"So are you two dating now or what?"

I pursed my lips to stop from laughing and looked over at Edward. He took a casual sip of his coffee and met my questioning stare.

"I don't know. Bella, what do you say? Will you go out with me?"

I tapped my chin thoughtfully, enjoying the feeling of adrenaline that surged through me at his words. "I suppose I could agree to a date."

He narrowed his eyes playfully. "A date? Just one?"

I grinned. "We can always negotiate further dates after the first one, of course."

"I can pretty much guarantee one date won't be enough." He reached under the table for my hand and started playing with my fingers. I sighed happily and met his stare, getting a little lost in the way he was looking at me. I really thought I knew what this would feel like, but the reality of it was much better than my imagination.

Rosalie cleared her throat, and I looked away, remembering that the entire table was watching us.

"Well, Emmett, does that answer your question?" she asked, laughing a little under her breath.

"It's about damn time," he said, shaking his head. Alice, Rosalie and I all looked at him, a little taken aback. He glanced up and shrugged. "What? I have eyes. I notice things." He looked over at Edward and I and smirked. "And you two have been dancing around each other since October. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together."

Edward frowned. "Thanks for telling me, jackass."

"Not my fault you're too much of an idiot to see what's right in front of your face," Emmett shot back with a grin. "Anyway, it's in the past. No point in arguing about it now. You got the girl."

Edward's frown softened and he looked back at me. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I guess I did."

*****

Edward insisted on walking me home from Alice's. He draped his wool coat over my shoulders and wrapped his scarf around my neck, insisting that his suit coat was warm enough. It was a twenty minute walk in the cold though, and by the time we got to my building his teeth were chattering and his lips had a bluish tint.

"Do you want to come up?" I asked shyly."I haven't given you your Christmas present yet."

"You know you didn't have to get me anything, right?" he asked, holding the door open for me.

"Don't be difficult," I huffed. "I took your present, now you're going to take mine."

"Was my present so hard to accept?"

"It was beautiful," I sighed. I took his hand and led him into my apartment. After I closed the door and locked it, he pulled me to him and kissed me, tangling his hands in my hair. I sighed against his lips and pulled away.

"Where are you going?" he whined.

"Sit." I pointed at the couch and ran to my room, making a beeline to the closet where I had stashed his present. Now that I was about to watch him open it, I was a little nervous. What if he hated it? What if I was totally overstepping my bounds? His gift had given me some hope that maybe he would like it.

I held my breath as he tore the paper back to reveal the sheaf of staff paper underneath. It wasn't personalized, it wasn't fancy or expensive, but when I saw it I felt like he needed to have it. One top, I had tacked a short note.

_So you don't have to keep it all in your head anymore._

The silence stretched out, only marred by a soft shuffling sound as Edward flipped through the simple, barred pages. Finally, he looked up, face solemn.

"You don't like it," I whispered. His eyes widened and he dropped the papers, reaching out for me.

"I love it," he answered, just as quietly. "It's perfect. Thank you."

He pulled me down next to him and tucked me under his arm. I inhaled the sweet, musky scent of his cologne and cuddled my face into his chest. I took a minute to marvel at how easy the transition had been, from friends to something more. It felt natural.

"Really?"

Laughing, he took my chin in his fingers and tipped my face up toward his.

"Really. I've been thinking about getting staff paper for a couple of weeks actually. Someone very special told me I should start writing my compositions down."

I smiled and he leaned in for a chaste kiss.

"When I can I take you out? A real date, you and me. Some wine, low lights, dinner, romance, the whole nine yards."

"Is tomorrow night too soon?" I asked, a little breathless. His answering smile was brilliant.

"You read my mind."

* * *

**A/N: Woo! An update in a week, aren't you proud? :) I hope you enjoyed this bit of fluff, wonderful readers. Special thanks to spanglemaker, who reassured me that sometimes, we all need a little fluff. I promise, the next chapter is full of meaty plot. Lots and lots of plot. Dare I say it...the plot you've been waiting for?  
**

**1. You guys blow my mind. Over a hundred reviews for Chapter 16! Thank you, I'm convinced that your reviews made me write faster. This is the quickest a chapter has come together in at least 2 months. To all of you who put me on alert, favorited the story, or popped by the forum--thanks so much! I truly appreciate it, and I read every alert and review.  
**

**2. I've joined twitter! www(dot)twitter(dot)com/justaskalice. It's horribly addictive. Save yourselves.  
**

**3. Don't forget, _Girl with a Red Umbrella_ is coming out soon! Spanglemaker and I are super excited about it. As soon as she's completed _Faking It_, we plan to begin posting, both here and on Twilighted. Stay tuned!  
**


	19. House of Cards

This time, going back to work after my long weekend was invigorating and fun. Whereas Thanksgiving had sucked all the energy and enthusiasm I had right out of me, my New Year's had infused me with some much needed positive vibes.

Edward and I had made plans for dinner that night. It was hard to believe it was only Tuesday, but I told him I couldn't wait for the weekend to roll around again. He smiled and said he was inclined to agree. Then he kissed me.

My God, the kisses.

Every time Edward kissed me, it was like a tiny atom bomb was dropped in my stomach. Tingles radiated outward, heating my skin and making me slightly dizzy. It was safe to say I had never felt like this before. I didn't know that I would ever get used to it, and I was pretty sure I didn't want to.

Seth noticed right away that something was different. He gave me an odd smile when I bounced in the door, five minutes early and grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Good morning?" he said, his voice going up on the end like it was a question.

"Yes, it is," I hummed, breezing past him to the coffee maker.

Chuck had agreed to help me set up a series of timelines for multi-media packages that I wanted to explore, and I had several days worth of edits and administrative paperwork to get through, so I settled down at my desk with my giant _What Deadlines?_ mug and got to work.

James stopped by around 10, clutching the note I had left at his desk. He waved it angrily in my direction and hissed, "What is this?"

"That's your newest web assignment," I said calmly, not looking up from my screen. "I've already talked about it with Chuck, and your note says we have a meeting to talk about it at 4 today, so I don't know why we're having this conversation now. It's perfectly self explanatory."

"You can't be serious with this assignment," he seethed. "You want me to do an interactive shopping guide?"

"If you would just read the email I sent you and take a few deep breaths, you'd realize that most of it was ideas I picked up in staff meetings directly from you. Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

I spun in my chair to face him. His face was purple and his lips were set in a thin line. "Look, James, I get it. You don't like me. Can we stop the bullshit? I really don't want to have to deal with this anymore. It wastes everyone's time, and if it continues, I'm going to have to go to management."

He sneered at me and choked out a bleak laugh. "Threatening me now? My, my, not as tough as you seem, are you?" He turned to go, mumbling under his breath something about seeing me at 4.

All in all, I was pleased at how the encounter went. Not a single gender based remark, and I had come out victorious, meeting scheduled and assignment still on. Our meeting later certainly wouldn't be fun, but I finally felt like I was gaining an edge on him.

At noon I realized I had forgotten my phone, which was annoying because I had wanted to call Alice for lunch. She had her big presentation that morning, and I was planning on treating her. Unfortunately, I didn't have her work number or her email address. I wrote a quick reminder to call her before my date with Edward to see how things went.

The thought of Edward propelled me through my lunch hour, despite the fact that I had to make do with a wilted green salad and a questionable slice of pizza. He refused to tell me where we were going for dinner, but I knew it was going to be good just from the smirk on his face. When I insisted that I hated surprises he said, "You'll like this one. I can guarantee it."

The way he said it made my heart race.

With ten minutes to go until my meeting with James, I was vibrating in anticipation. As soon as we were done I was planning on taking off. My edits were done, I had sent all my materials in to the webmaster, and I had copious notes ready for my first big multimedia project. I was hoping James would be willing to do an ongoing feature, and I knew that once he got over the fact that it was me suggesting it, he would see that it was ideally suited to his talents. Chuck was right about that at least: James knew his stuff.

Seth and I were chatting at the doorway to my cube when the elevators dinged open. I glanced over and stopped talking, my eyes widening a little in surprise. Edward. Striding through the office, looking around urgently. A smile tugged on my lips. He was supposed to pick me up at my apartment at 6:30. Clearly he was just as excited as I was.

Seth looked down at me. "Hey, isn't that your friend from the bar?"

"Yep," I said with a grin. "We're going out tonight. He's early." Without waiting for Seth's reaction, I ran forward and called out to him. "Edward! Over here."

His head snapped up and he met my gaze, and this time his expression registered. Rage, tinged with despair. My stomach clenched. Something wasn't right.

He crossed the room to where I stood and I reached out for him, grabbing one of his hands.

"Is everything okay? I thought you were picking me up at 6:30. What happened? What's wrong?"

He just stared at me, his expression frozen.

"Edward, say something. Please. I'm starting to panic."

"Why did you do it?" he asked, his voice hoarse. He tugged his hand away from mine. "Why?"

"Do what? You're not making any sense. What's wrong?"

"I got a phone call from Alice this afternoon while I was teaching," he said hollowly. "She left an interesting message. She was concerned about all the secrets I've been keeping. Upset that I've been lying to her, to my family." Anger flickered in his eyes again, and he ground his teeth together.

I stared at him in confusion. Was this all about his CD? He couldn't be this angry about a handful of songs on a mix tape.

"Why would you tell her about Lauren, Bella?"

My jaw dropped. "What?" I gasped. "I didn't… I never—"

"There were only four people in that room, Bella. I didn't tell her. Lauren sure as hell didn't tell her. And Alice met Jessica a grand total of one time, so I'm pretty sure they aren't going out for coffee and gossip. So tell me, why did you do it? Why now, after all this time?"

"Edward, I swear, I didn't say a word."

Our voices were getting louder now, and we were starting to attract stares. Seth was still frozen in his spot near my cube. I looked around a little desperately. This was not the place for this conversation. Surely he could see that.

"Can we talk about this later? I swear, I'm almost done with work, I just have a meeting and then I'll come with you. We'll sort this out."

He laughed bitterly. "There's nothing to sort out. I can't believe you're still lying about this!" He towered over me, terrifying in his anger. I shrank away. This was scarier than his confrontation with Lauren. He'd never looked at me like this before. He was a stranger.

"I trust this, Edward." He raised his voice in a grotesque imitation of my own. "Do you? I won't ever lie to you, Edward. I don't pity you."

He took a deep, shuddering breath. "_Lies_. Every single word."

Tears started pricking at the corners of my eyes. I was riveted, locked into his angry stare. It was bewildering. There wasn't any explanation that fit.

"Call Alice back. She'll tell you it wasn't me. I swear to you, I didn't say a word."

"Just like you didn't tell her about my compositions?"

My heart gave a stuttering little protest. My face must have given me away, because the side of his mouth curled up in a smirk, a horrible parody of my favorite crooked smile.

"She mentioned that too. Just something else to gossip about, Bella? What did you do, call her last night after I went home and tell her everything I had ever asked you to keep secret?"

"No! It… it was an accident. Okay, I admit it, I told her about the music, but she heard me listening to your music and she recognized one of the songs, and I—"

"Don't waste your breath." His face had gone stony and cold. "The only thing I'm interested in hearing is the truth."

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and wheeled around to see Seth standing there, glaring down at Edward. Seth had a couple of inches on him, and it was clear he was using his height to attempt to intimidate, attempt being the operative word. I could tell nothing was going to get through to Edward in this state.

"Is everything okay, Bella?" he asked. I nodded shakily, and a single tear fell from my eye. Seth's frown deepened.

"I think you should go," he said lowly, pulling me away.

"I got this, Seth," I snapped. "Back off."

"Is this your _meeting_, Bella? The guy who follows you around the office like a lost puppy?" Edward sniffed condescendingly and met Seth's cold stare. "Has she told you she cares about you yet?" he sneered. "Told you how _special_ you are?"

"Step back." The cheery friendliness that Seth usually emitted was completely gone, and his voice was venomous.

Edward was making absolutely no attempt to stay quiet, and all of my coworkers were staring at the three of us now, standing in a tiny, _Days of Our Lives_ huddle in the middle of the newsroom. We were officially a spectacle.

"I just want to know why you did it. What could you possibly get out of it?"

"I didn't tell her," I insisted, more tears trickling down my cheeks. "Anyway, what does it matter? The secret's out, we can go about our lives, no more hiding or lying. Your family isn't going to care."

I reached out for him, thinking if I could just grab his hand, touch him, he would calm down and listen to reason. I wasn't thinking clearly. He flinched away and took a step back.

"It's not that they know," he seethed. "It's that you promised, gave me your word, and then broke it like it didn't even matter. I can't be with you after something like that. How could I ever trust you? This was important. I can't even be friends with someone who could do that to me."

Seth's hand was still locked on my arm, and he pulled me back again and stepped in front of me.

"You need to leave," he said firmly. "I will call security if you don't get out of here right now."

Edward glanced over at where I stood frozen behind Seth.

"Fine. It's not worth it, anyway." He turned quickly and strode back toward the elevators. He waited there with his back to me, shoulders dramatically rising and falling with every breath, hands clenched at his side.

As the elevator dinged, a familiar snide voice spoke in my ear.

"Do they pay you extra for the show, Swan?"

James was standing next to me, too close, but Seth was still 100 percent focused on Edward's retreating figure. I crossed my arms defensively and looked up just in time to meet Edward's blazing green eyes as the elevator doors closed in front of his face.

I wiped my eyes on the back of my hands and sniffed loudly. Seth turned back to me and gave me a weak smile.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

I nodded and turned back to James, who looked like he had just been given a spectacular gift.

"James, let's take this to my office. I've got everything ready in there."

He snickered. "I'm sure you do."

I didn't even have the energy to react. I should have been filled to the brim with adrenaline given the fight that I had just had with my almost-boyfriend in front of my entire office, but I just felt dull and tired and slightly nauseous.

James followed me to my cubicle and sat down on the chair I had set up for him, a smug grin fixed on his face the entire time.

"I have to say, Swan, the floor show today was top notch. Love triangle, or just someone else who can't stand your bullshit?"

I turned in my chair so the tears that were welling up in my eyes wouldn't be visible and said emptily, "Did you look over the materials I sent you?"

My desk phone rang and I answered it automatically. "Hello?"

"I need to see you in my office. Please come right away." Chuck's voice was brisk and businesslike, which was never a good sign.

"I'm meeting with James about that project we talked about—"

"You can meet with him later. I need to see you."

"Of course." I hung up and looked over at James. "We'll continue this later; it looks like I have another meeting to get to."

I didn't stop to process his reaction. He could have danced a jig on my desk for all the attention I paid him. I was on autopilot. What had started as one of the best days ever had quickly morphed into one of the worst.

When I got to Chuck's office, I knocked once and walked in. Seth was sitting across from Chuck, and an empty chair sat next to him. They both looked rather grim. I crossed and sat down.

Chuck cleared his throat and folded his hands in front of him. "You both know why we're here. Would one of you care to explain the incident that just happened in the newsroom?"

"A friend of mine came in, he was really upset," I said.

"Bella didn't do anything, this guy was crazy," Seth interrupted me. "He was making a scene, she asked him to go with her somewhere else and he wouldn't leave."

"Seth wasn't involved," I said loudly, talking over him.

Chuck raised his hands and we both shut up. "I've talked to both of you about this. The second your personal relationship starts interfering with the way this office works, I have to step in."

"What personal relationship?" I asked, a flash of anger bubbling in the pit of my stomach. "Seth and I are friends and coworkers. We've talked about this, there's nothing going on between us."

Chuck shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, well all evidence goes to the contrary. I'm afraid I have to look at the totality of the circumstances, and everything points that way. It would be easier if you two would just come clean."

Seth's russet skin glowed pink, but he didn't say anything. Something in me snapped. Edward had called me a liar and refused to listen to me, I had dealt with insults from my coworkers for months without saying a word in retaliation, and now my boss was calling me out on a relationship that didn't exist in the first place.

"I am so sick to death of the way people behave in this office," I snarled. I forgot that I was talking to my boss; the injustice of it all outraged me. "You seem to have an ear for office gossip. Have you heard anything about the horrible, sexist comments that James has been making to me on a regular basis? Did you hear about the prank he and his friends played on me a few weeks ago that involved dismantling my desk chair so that I fell backwards and was almost seriously hurt? How about the constant battle I've been fighting for an _ounce_ of the respect that everyone else gets?"

My tears were back. Chuck looked completely stricken, and Seth was staring at me with his mouth hanging open.

"Okay, let's all take a deep breath," Chuck finally said. "Bella, I think it would be a good idea for you to go home for the day. Obviously there are some issues here we need to deal with. I'm going to set up a meeting for you with HR tomorrow morning. Seth, get back to work."

"That's it?" I said in disbelief. "A meeting with HR? That's your solution?"

"I'm going to excuse your tone because you're obviously very upset," Chuck said carefully. "But I'm still your supervisor and this is still your place of employment, so I need you to go home, pull yourself together, and come back tomorrow ready to meet with HR first thing. Can you do that?"

I nodded shakily and stood up, walking as quickly as I could to get my things and leave. The day was mostly over anyway, but I felt like I was being sent home from the principal's office. It didn't help that tears were dripping down my cheeks when I walked out. I'm sure I looked like I had just been fired or completely taken to task. Will and Joel were watching me with huge smiles on their faces. I walked past Garrett on my way to the elevator. He patted my shoulder lightly, but I couldn't muster a smile for him.

I didn't break down completely until I was on the train. Huddled into a dirty plastic seat, I shook as tears and snot poured out of me. Every time I thought I had calmed down, I heard his voice in my head.

**Lies. **_**Every single word.**_

A weird choking sound sputtered out of my chest. The elderly woman a few seats over dug through her purse and offered me a small pack of tissues. I took a couple and nodded blearily at her.

_**I can't believe you're still lying about this!**_

At my stop, I stumbled out, barely remembering to pull my coat closed and cover my ears with my hat. My nostrils were almost frozen together by the time I got to my apartment, and my tears formed tiny icicles on my eyelashes.

_**It's not worth it.**_

When I got to my apartment, I didn't even bother changing. I shucked off my outer layers and kicked my boots across the room, falling to the couch with a thud. I rolled myself in the blanket that lay neatly folded across the end. Wiping my eyes on the edge of the blanket, I just lay there, staring at the wall and shivering uncontrollably.

_**I can't even be friends with someone who could do that to me.**_

Something was beeping. I peered around the room groggily. At some point I had either drifted off or just become totally unaware of time passing. My eyes were swollen and my nose was stuffed. The room was dark, but a blinking light flashed from the middle of my coffee table. My cell phone.

I reached out and grabbed it, flipping it open and squinting at the screen.

**9 missed calls. 1 new voicemail.**

My missed call log showed seven calls from Alice and two from Edward. All of the calls were from before Edward had stormed my office.

_**I got a phone call from Alice this afternoon while I was teaching.**_

I dialed in the code for my voicemail, and sure enough, Alice's voice started screaming at me from my phone.

"Bella Swan, I can't believe you! Why on earth would you keep something like this secret? I expect this from my brother but—"

I deleted the message and tossed my phone across the room. It hit the ground and skittered across the floor, ending up somewhere near the door. I didn't want to listen to Alice's accusations; although part of me wondered what kind of message she had left Edward that made him think this was my fault. He had been so outraged, so beyond furious. I didn't even know how to process our fight yet. It was a disaster of epic proportions, but it still didn't make any sense. There was no way Alice could have found out.

The clock on my DVD player read 6:30. Edward should have been arriving at my door, ready to whisk me off on his silly surprise dinner date. I should have been dressed up and giddy with anticipation, kissing him hello and reaching out to hold his hand. My stomach turned and I pulled my knees up to my chest protectively as more tears started forging their way toward my chin and the tip of my nose.

_Boom, boom._ Someone pounded on my door so hard it rattled on its hinges. For one foolish moment, I hoped it was Edward coming to apologize. To tell me it had all been a mistake.

"Hello? Are you home?" Alice. I didn't answer.

_Boom, boom, boom._ "Come on, Bella. Open the door. I need to talk to you, right now."

The threatening tone in her voice mobilized me. If she thought she was going to yell at me after what I'd been through the last several hours, she had another think coming. I stumbled to my feet and trudged to the door, my fleece blanket still wrapped tightly around me.

I wrenched open the door and stood blinking owlishly in the harsh fluorescent light of the hallway.

"What do you want, Alice?" I asked flatly. I almost didn't recognize my own voice. It was hoarse and scratchy, like I was suffering from a mild case of laryngitis. "If you're here to yell at me, you're going to have to come back later. I can only fight with one Cullen at a time."

Alice didn't react at first; she just stood there staring at me. Her eyes traveled from my mussed up hair to my weepy eyes and my no-doubt bright red nose to the blanket I clutched like a lifeline. The fire in her eyes seemed to dim, and she hesitated before speaking.

"Can I come in?" Her voice was soft and almost musical, like she was trying to calm a wild animal.

"Are you going to yell at me?"

She shook her head mutely. I opened the door a little wider and she crept past me, flicking on the lights as she entered. I winced, but followed her to the couch.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked, a little louder than before.

"Edward. That was some message you left."

"What the hell did he say to you? I was just over at his apartment and all he said was you weren't going out tonight. He looked like shit." She looked me over again. "So do you. Actually, I think you look worse."

"Thanks so much." I tried to say it in a biting tone, but my voice wasn't cooperating, and it came out more as a whimper. "I'm not telling you anything until you tell me how you found out about Lauren and what you said in the message you left Edward."

She narrowed her eyes at me, but settled in against my couch with her knees folded up beneath her.

"Didn't you listen to my message?"

I gestured across the room to where my phone lay against the wall. It didn't look broken, which was probably a good thing since I could hardly afford to replace it. "I wasn't really in the mood for another talking to after I got sent home from work early."

Her eyes got huge and she opened her mouth, but I held up a hand.

"No. I'm not saying a word until you tell me exactly what you know and how you know it."

She sighed. "You know I had my final presentation today, right?"

I nodded.

"It went really well, and we finalized the account and got a full commitment from them, which is great." She beamed, but when I didn't say anything she continued. "Anyway, I was cleaning up afterwards and a woman from their selection committee came over to chat. She looked familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it."

I felt my stomach start to plummet. I was sure I knew where this was headed, but I needed Alice to connect the dots for me.

"So she was congratulating me, and we chatted for a bit, and then she says, 'You're Alice Cullen, right?' And of course I say yes, I am. And she starts thanking me for being so understanding and professional about 'everything.'"

A weird lump formed in my throat.

"I asked who she was, and she told me her name was Jessica Stanley. As soon as I heard the name, I remembered her. But before I could ask her what she was thanking me for, she thanked me again, saying that if it weren't for you and Edward, Lauren never would have finally committed to their relationship. She gave me an earful about Lauren coming out of the closet to her parents and how it was all because of what happened with Edward and on and on. Of course, I tried to play it off like I had already heard the story, but can you imagine? I tried to get a hold of you, I must have called you ten times before I left that message. Then I tried Edward, but of course he was at school."

"My phone was here, I forgot it today," I said dully. "What did you say to Edward in your message?"

"Just that I couldn't believe he lied about Lauren, and that I was upset and wanted the whole story."

"What did you say about his compositions?"

Her face fell slightly. "Um, yeah. Sorry about that, I know you said it was a secret. I just kind of blurted out that you had told me about that too, and—"

"Wait," I interrupted. "What were your exact words? Think carefully."

She wrinkled her eyebrows and scrunched up her nose. "I think I said, 'I can't believe you kept this a secret from your whole family.' And then I said something about how he was keeping a lot of secrets lately, and… I think I said 'Bella told me about your compositions too.'"

I groaned.

"Your turn," she prodded. "What the hell happened?"

"After he got your message, Edward showed up at my office."

Her mouth dropped open a little, but she nodded for me to continue.

"He was so angry, Alice. He listened to your message and he thought that I had told you," I whispered. "He yelled at me, I mean _yelled_, told me he couldn't believe I had told you everything about Lauren. I had no idea what he was talking about."

I sniffled through an explanation of my afternoon, sparing no detail. Alice's face turned gradually pinker, and by the time I had gotten to the end of my story she looked like she was about to throw a fit.

"What an asshole!"

"Care to elaborate?" I asked wryly, reaching for another tissue. "I'm not sure who you're talking about right now."

"Oh, honey." She reached out and folded me into her arms. It was stupidly comforting; she was half my size but I felt like my mother was rocking me after a particularly horrible day on the playground.

"Why didn't he believe me?" I whispered. "He was so horrible."

"He was really upset after I talked to him," she murmured. "I just assumed it had to do with reliving the whole Lauren thing, but now that I know what happened, he was clearly devastated about what he said to you. I'm sure as soon as he's calmed down he'll come over to apologize."

I pulled up to look her in the eye. "I don't think an apology is going to fix this, Alice."

She frowned. "Why not? This whole fiasco is my fault anyway. Don't let me screw up something that could be so great. You have to hear him out."

I sat straight up and wiped my eyes with the heels of my hands. "I don't have to do anything. He came into my workplace, yelled at me in front of all of my coworkers, and then refused to listen to me when I told him the truth. His being upset does not give him the right to come in and stomp all over me. I deserve more than that."

Saying it to her made me actually believe it. The sadness that had been gripping my heart started to burn away, and a new wrathful edge took its place.

"You didn't put a gun to his head and make him storm into my newsroom. He was completely irrational, and he humiliated me. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't trust me, and he wasn't remotely interested in listening to me. He _knew_ I was having problems at work. I asked him to wait and speak with me privately. He refused. He was horrible to Seth, and then he just walked away. Looked me in the eye and told me it wasn't worth it."

I took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Well, maybe he was right."

"You don't mean that—"

"I'm really tired, Alice, and I have a meeting with HR first thing in the morning. I think I'm going to bed."

She eyed me warily for a second, and then leaned forward to give me a short, fierce hug.

"I'm here for you," she whispered. "Let's have lunch tomorrow, okay? Don't forget your phone."

I gave her a halfhearted smile and nodded. "Of course. Why don't I call you?"

"It's a date."

Once Alice was gone, I turned the lights off and settled back onto my couch, quietly resolving that today would be the last day I let anyone walk all over me.

No more Miss Nice Bella.

* * *

**A/N: ****Still with me? Maybe you should go back and reread that last chapter. The one that you loved, you know, with all the fluff? Remember that I love you, and I am a total sucker for happy endings.**

**Thank you for your support! Again, your reviews were awesome, thanks for your comments, questions, predictions, and all the love. Hello to all the new folks! Welcome :) Special thanks to two cheerleaders on this chapter...spanglemaker for encouraging me to keep going even though I frackin' hate angst, and daisy3853 for making me giggle through the hard parts.**

**A quick note--Faking It is complete (seriously, have you read it yet?) and spanglemaker and I will be submitting the first chapter of _Girl with a Red Umbrella_ very soon. Put me on alert so you don't miss it!**

**Okay, ****now take a few deep breaths...scroll down... and tell me what you think.**


	20. Two Steps Back

**Hey guys! Still here I see. That's nice. I was a little worried. Not gonna lie. I got an avalanche of reviews for the last chapter, and a lot of them were very similar explosions of anger/indignation/general strong emotions. I was really overwhelmed, and in the end, decided it would be easier to just write the next chapter as fast as I could and address you guys in an A/N. If you don't care, go ahead and start reading, I don't mind.**

**To those of you who expressed concern that Edward was abusive: I'm sorry it read that way to you. I understand where you're coming from, but that's not where this fic is going, nor was it my intent. Edward's got issues. Obviously. He's not going to hit Bella or demean her, or start telling her she's worthless. I apologize to any of you who read his blow up as anything other than what it was: honest outrage and hurt that the one person he trusted could betray him.**

**To those of you who wanted to string him up and then castrate him: I'm with you. He was a total asshole. He's got a lot of ground to recover. Wait and see.**

**To those of you who are on board with that crazy ass angst and want more: Well, just keep reading.**

**TO ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED, VISITED THE FORUM, READ, FAVORITED, OR ALERTED THIS STORY: THANK YOU! ****I appreciate your honest feedback, and I'm grateful you took the time to read this story.**

**Okay, that's the longest A/N I've ever written. I'm very sorry.**

* * *

Oddly enough, the highlight of my day at work the next day was my meeting with HR. Charlotte, a wiry older woman with big hair and what she referred to as a "Memphis twang," was a hoot. I wished she was a reporter so I could beg her to transfer to my department.

"Well I'm glad you said something, honey," she said matter-of-factly after she interviewed me about the incident with Edward and I told her about everything that had been happening since I started. "Sexual harassment is a big deal, and we take these complaints seriously. There was a tall fella in here last week talking about his 'friend' but we told him we needed a direct complaint. Otherwise these things can turn into witch hunts."

My cheeks heated and I got angry all over again. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme. I woke up—I was angry. I made some coffee—I was angry. I walked to the train station and a silver car drove past me—I wanted to punch someone in the head. And so on.

"I was handling things," I said stiffly. "But obviously it got out of hand."

"We usually keep a close eye on things when dynamics within a department change," Charlotte responded, shuffling some papers around on her desk. "Personality conflicts are a part of any big company."

"This isn't a personality—"

"Of course," she said quickly. "We're taking your complaint very seriously. That crowd is overdue for a HR seminar anyway." She grinned and gave me a conspiratorial wink.

I sighed and groaned a little internally. Even if I did get some satisfaction about James and his lackeys sitting through an HR seminar on respecting your coworkers, I would have to sit through it too.

"Is there anything else you need from me?" I asked, getting up.

"No, that's all for now. We'll be interviewing witnesses and the accused, and of course your supervisor. I'll be handling your case personally, so you'll be hearing from me soon. I'll be in touch."

I restrained myself from rolling my eyes, but just barely. Chuck had lost a lot of my respect when he kept pushing the thing with Seth. Especially since it was more than clear that I was uncomfortable and Seth actually did have feelings for me.

"Good, great," I muttered, turning to walk out the door. "I wish I could say it was a pleasure speaking with you, Charlotte."

She flashed me a brilliant smile. "I get that all the time."

The guys were keeping their distance from me, which actually made things a lot easier. I wondered if Chuck had said something to them while I was up in HR, but dismissed the thought quickly. It didn't matter why they were staying away. I had a job to do, and not having to deal with their stares and whispered comments would make that easier.

Garrett stopped by before lunch to let me know that Kate was asking about me.

"It's been a while since you girls have hung out, and I figured with what happened yesterday…" he trailed off and rubbed his neck awkwardly.

I swallowed hard and nodded. "Thanks, Garrett. I appreciate the thought. Tell her I'll call her soon, we should definitely catch up."

It was nice to remember that I had a life outside of the Cullens. Maybe Kate would know how to handle this. I eyed my phone, wondering if I should call her right away or wait until after work. Then I remembered I was supposed to go to lunch with Alice.

Alice. I had overlooked her role in the worst Tuesday of my life, but when I woke up it hit me. It was all her fault—she had admitted as much. She didn't seem particularly sorry or upset about it, just shrugged it off and gave me a comforting hug. And now I was supposed to spend my lunch hour with her.

I sighed and picked up my cell phone, dialing her number and tapping my desk impatiently with my fingertips.

"Alice Cullen."

"Hey Alice, its Bella. Are you ready for lunch? I only have about a half hour today, that HR meeting really cut into my schedule." It was a lie. I had worked so efficiently the day before that I could have taken my whole hour break and still been fine for the day, but I didn't feel like spending that time with her. I wasn't sure I'd be able to rein my temper in for a whole half hour as it was.

"Sure! Want to grab a sandwich at the deli next door? I can meet you there in five minutes." She sounded too cheerful for someone who had singlehandedly destroyed my first chance at a good relationship in a year. I grimaced and bit my tongue, talking a deep breath before answering.

"Alright, see you there."

I gathered my coat and purse and trudged over to the stairs. It was stupid, but I had avoided the elevator when I got in that morning, and I couldn't bring myself to use it now. So what if I had to walk up and down nine flights of stairs? If it meant avoiding the memory of Edward's cold stare and the elevator doors closing in front of his face, I would do it every day until I forgot.

Alice was already at the counter ordering when I walked in, stomping the snow off my boots. She looked up and flashed me a smile before grabbing her order and walking toward me.

"I'll get a table while you order." I nodded and watched her go, feeling another surge of annoyance. For some reason it seemed wrong that she was smiling.

Five minutes later, I slid into a booth across from her with my turkey on rye and a diet coke.

"So how did your meeting go this morning?" she asked cheerfully.

"Fine." I took a bite of my sandwich and stared down at the table.

"Are you in trouble?" My eye twitched.

"No, actually they're going to do an investigation into the sexual harassment thing. The HR woman did ask me some questions about Edward, though."

"Oh? Well I suppose that makes sense."

"Yeah."

Silence. I could feel my anger grow with every sentence. Alice shifted in her seat, perhaps fully understanding my mood for the first time.

"So family night is at my place tomorrow. We're going to have a John Hughes marathon. Rose is bringing Red Vines and Dr. Pepper, and I'm going to make some loaded nachos."

"I'm not coming."

Her eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean you're not coming? You always come."

"Is Edward going to be there?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm not coming."

"Bella, come on. Don't you think—"

"You know what I think?" I interrupted. "I think I'm sick of the way you make everything your business. I think you were completely off base to lay into Edward about not telling you about Lauren, and I think you have no right to expect me to set aside what happened yesterday and come to 'family night' like it didn't mean anything."

"Now wait just a minute—"

"No. Did you ever think that Edward didn't tell you because he was ashamed? That he wanted to keep a shred of his dignity and not let on how completely he was betrayed? The only reason I knew anything was because I was with him when it happened. It was none of your business. None."

"I think something that so completely destroyed my brother is certainly my business," she snapped. She crossed her arms defensively and leaned away from the table.

"Edward's private life is not your business," I repeated. "And neither is mine. His compositions, his relationships, _our_ relationship, that doesn't include you. All the blind dates, the prying into everyone else's lives… it's not attractive, Alice. I don't want to hear you pleading me to accept his apologies—apologies which he has not even begun to attempt, by the way. And I certainly don't want to come to family night and watch him glower at me while the rest of your family gives me sad looks and thinks, 'Poor Bella. She's just so sad and heartbroken.'"

"Are you done?" she asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "I care about you, about both of you. I guess I was hurt that you didn't think you could tell me. I've only ever wanted you to be happy. I'm sorry I apparently showed it in such an inappropriate way."

She blinked rapidly, like she was fighting tears. I got an ugly sense of satisfaction from it. "I hope you can forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you." She glanced down at her watch. "You should get back to work, it looks like our half hour is up."

I looked down at my half eaten sandwich. "I've lost my appetite anyway. Have a good day, Alice." She didn't respond.

The nausea set in about halfway up the stairs back to my office. Alice had screwed up, but she didn't deserve to be yelled at like that. She set everything in motion, yes, but it wasn't her fault, not really. I groaned and stomped back to my desk. I wasn't in the mood to apologize. Maybe I would do that tomorrow. Or the next day. Or maybe next week.

My social isolation continued for the rest of the day. The guys had definitely been warned away. I wondered if it was Chuck's way of protecting me from further harassment, or if he was just covering his ass. Probably a little bit of both. Before I left I sent James an email telling him we still needed to meet about his web assignment and suggesting the next afternoon. I would swallow my anger and do my job, because damn it, I was good at it. If I had nothing else, at least I could have that. Nodding decisively, I logged off my computer and shut things down for the night.

One thing I was beginning to hate about Chicago winters was the way it got dark so early every night. I never saw the sun anymore. It was dark when I woke up, overcast during the day, and dark when I went home. Maybe I could start taking walks at noon to soak up some sun. I could always take up tanning beds, but I wasn't sure I wanted to risk melanoma at my age.

I moved mechanically, swiping my train pass and staring blankly out the windows as I rattled towards home. A full day had passed, and Edward hadn't called or showed up to beg my forgiveness. Not that I would give it to him, but the fact that he hadn't even attempted… it made me furious.

When I was a half block from my apartment, I started digging for my keys. I was so focused on my keys, in fact, that I didn't notice the person stationed right next to my front door until I nearly bumped into them.

"Excuse me," I muttered, glancing up and back down to the door. Then I froze, key almost to the lock. It was Edward.

"I don't want to talk to you," I said immediately, unlocking the door and pushing inside. He stuck his foot in the door and followed me, keeping pace with me easily even as I hurried through the lobby up the stairs.

"Please, Bella, just hear me out. I know I don't deserve it, but I need to talk to you."

"You're right, you don't deserve it." I kept walking, nearly jogging up the stairs.

"I was horrible. I was cruel, and angry, and out of line. Will you please stop and listen to me?"

"I can't do this with you right now. I don't know if I can do this with you period." I kept my sentences clipped and short, because I knew that if I let myself stop and really talk to him, I would fall apart. And he didn't deserve to see how badly he had affected me. He deserved my fury, and I wouldn't give him a single more tear. At least not to his face.

We got to my floor and I bolted for my door. If I could get there quickly enough, maybe I could get inside and he would leave. I had been angry before that he hadn't tried to apologize, but now that he was here, begging just like I had wanted, and I couldn't face it. It was too much.

"Wait," he called, speeding up. We got to my door at the same time, and I looked up at him. His hair was a mess, and his ears and nose were bright red. His eyes were slightly bloodshot, and he looked exhausted. Good riddance.

"You don't have to say anything. Just listen. Please?"

I pursed my lips and stared at him, waiting. He broke eye contact first, looking down at his feet and clearing his throat.

"I should have trusted you. I know that. But I heard Alice's message and all I could think was that you were just like Lauren. It felt like you ripped my heart out and stomped on it, you know? I tried calling you, but you didn't answer, and I just kept getting angrier and angrier. By the time school let out I didn't even think, just got in my car and drove to your office.

"I shouldn't have gone to your work, and I shouldn't have yelled. You don't deserve that. Even if you had told Alice those things," he winced, "you wouldn't have deserved that. Once Alice told me how she really found out…" He looked up and met my gaze, and his eyes were wide and watery. I fought the urge to sneer. "Bella I've been physically ill all day. I barely made it to work this morning, and I've been waiting outside your building since 4. Tell me how to fix this."

He took a deep shuddering breath and stepped toward me, but I flinched away.

"I don't know if you can fix this," I said, my voice wavering in spite of myself. "And I don't know that it's _worth it_. I can't do this. You need to leave."

I unlocked my door and stepped inside, shutting the door behind me. Locking it quickly, I slid to the ground with my head pressed against the wall.

"Bella, I didn't mean it!" His voice pleaded with me through the locked door. I could feel the onset of a headache as his hand pounded against the locked door. There was a sliding noise and a soft thud as he sat on the ground outside my door. "Please… you've always been worth it."

I didn't answer. How could I? After about forty-five minutes, I heard him stand up and shuffle down the hallway. A loud click and a muffled clang signaled the fire door to the stairway shutting behind him. I let out a sharp gust of air and threw out my fist, hitting my door hard.

The sharp pain felt good, so I flailed out again, making my door rattle in its hinges. Bam. Bam. I stood up and aimed a kick at the worn wood. My bare feet made a smacking sound, and it felt like I had stubbed my toe.

"Aaaaaaaaaagh!" I yelled, and then aimed another kick at the door for good measure. "Stupid," kick, "asshole," kick, "son of a "kick, "MOTHER!" I unlocked my door, opened it, and slammed it for good measure. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I groaned and stomped to my room to change my clothes and stew some more.

My toes were killing me, my throat was a little hoarse, and my neighbors probably thought I was crazy. Par for the course these days.

*****

Work the next day was more of the same. I forced myself to slip back into my normal routine, to ignore my coworkers leaving at periods throughout the day to be interviewed by Charlotte. I made myself interact with everyone. What was done was done, and I couldn't change it even though I wanted to. The most I could do was keep going, and work as hard as I could.

My meeting with James was cold, almost formal. He didn't make any sexist comments. He even looked a little apprehensive when he poked his head into my cube that afternoon, which I found amusing. It was nice to know that I had him on edge, that he didn't have the upper hand for once. I didn't know how far this sexual harassment claim would go, but at least I had the satisfaction of watching him squirm for a while.

I called Kate at lunch and she invited me out to have drinks with Tanya and Irina. I was more than happy to agree…I didn't feel like sitting at home alone and thinking about the Cullens at Alice's place, watching Sixteen Candles and throwing Edward a pity party. At least this way I would have access to alcohol.

The bar Kate directed me to was near the hospital she worked at and full of off the clock doctors and nurses. I spotted Tanya first, and she waved me over to their booth.

"We ordered you a vodka cran, hope that's okay," she said, pushing a glass of pink liquid toward me.

I shrugged and knocked back half the glass before scooting into the booth next to her. Kate walked over then, carrying two pints of beer. She set one down in front of Irina and smiled sadly at me.

"Rough week, I hear. How ya holding up?"

I sighed and took another drink. Irina arched an eyebrow at me.

"What happened?"

"Long story," I muttered. "But the gist of it is I got into a huge fight with that guy I was kind of seeing. It was ugly."

"He came over to the Trib and picked a fight with her in the middle of the newsroom," Kate supplied.

Tanya's jaw dropped. "What a complete douchebag! I hope you read him the riot act."

My mouth twisted into a bitter half smile. "Not exactly. It was kind of out of left field."

"Garrett couldn't tell me any details," Kate said. "What happened? Did he have a reason for showing up and acting like King Dick, or is he just a bastard?"

"It's a long story," I said again, finishing off my drink and staring down into my empty glass. Kate, Tanya, and Irina sat in silence and stared at me. After a beat, Irina made a 'tsk' sound and grabbed my glass.

"I'll get this round, and then you're going to tell us this story."

It took a half hour and two more vodka cranberries, but I got the whole story out. I figured since Jessica and Lauren had outted themselves, there was no reason for me to keep it a secret anymore. And since I wasn't speaking to Edward, there was no potential backlash to worry about.

At the end of it, my three companions were staring at me openmouthed and speechless.

"I know," I said dryly. I fished out an ice cube and popped it in my mouth.

"Well, shit," Tanya said. She took a swig of her drink and looked at me searchingly. "If you had told us this that night at your apartment I would have said don't go near that with a ten foot pole."

"Agreed," Irina said immediately. "He's obviously got major issues."

"Well can you blame him?" Kate said with a short, barking laugh. "Sounds like Lauren really did a number on the guy's psyche. Can you say trust issues?"

"I don't know what to do," I moaned. The booze was making me lightheaded and I hadn't eaten much that day, and that combined with the enormous amount of stress I was feeling was making me cranky and melodramatic. "He tried to apologize yesterday, but I couldn't even look at him for more than a few seconds without wanting to knee him in the nuts."

"You should have," Tanya muttered.

"Well, do you want him to apologize? Are you ready to forgive?" Kate asked. "I wouldn't be."

"I don't know. I'm angry as hell, and just seeing him pissed me off." I glanced down at my watched and sighed loudly this time. "But it's late, I'm drunk, and I have to get up and go to work tomorrow. I need to get in a cab and go home."

"Are you sure?" Irina asked. I nodded and pulled out my wallet. She stopped me. "No, we've got you covered for tonight. If anyone deserves a few free drinks, it's you."

I thanked them and got a round of hugs before Kate walked me out the door. We stood on the street corner waiting for a cab to pull up, shivering slightly.

"Bella?" Kate said softly. I looked up. "I know you really like this guy, but be careful, okay? He needs to sort out himself before he could ever be the kind of guy you deserve. It's great if he wants to apologize, and it's none of my business if you want to forgive him and try to move on. But just promise me you'll take things slow, and you'll look out for yourself."

A cab pulled up to the curb and I waved it to a stop. "Thanks for inviting me out," I said. "I don't know what I'm going to do about Edward yet. Can I call you this weekend?"

She gave me another hug and opened up the back door of the cab. "Of course."

In my half-drunk state, the cab ride home seemed shorter than it was. I paid the driver and stumbled up my stairs, focusing on the dumplings that I knew I had sitting in my freezer. I needed to get some food in my stomach and sleep, preferably until next New Year's Eve.

My stomach dropped as my mind unintentionally replayed my New Year's kiss with Edward. Everything had seemed so perfect then. _We_ seemed perfect. Now I knew better.

At my door, I nearly tripped over a small cooler sitting on my doormat. I stared at it for a minute, glancing up and down the hallway. It didn't look familiar. Shrugging to myself, I picked it up and brought it inside. I kicked off my shoes and set the cooler on my coffee table.

Once I had changed into my warmest, fuzziest pajamas, I decided to investigate the cooler. I pulled off the lid and shifted about six icepacks out of my way. There, nestled in the bottom, was a pint of chocolate ice cream with brownie pieces. I frowned. Who leaves an unlabeled cooler full of ice cream outside an empty apartment?

There was nothing else in the cooler. I pulled out every icepack looking for clues, but I came up empty. Finally, I flipped it over. I was almost ready to give up, but a small line of print caught my eye. I squinted, and then dropped the cooler on my floor. Icepacks went flying.

There, on the bottom of the cooler, in unmistakable, flawless printing, were the words "Property of E. Cullen."

* * *

***Exhales* That took a lot out of me. Are you still there? Hate me yet?**

**Thank you to spanglemaker for betaing this chapter for my insecure ass.  
**

**Just one more note. Spanglemaker and I put out the first chapter of Girl with a Red Umbrella this week! We're super excited about it, and we couldn't be happier to share it with you girls. It's posted on twilighted and on FF. Go check it out, we'd love to hear from you :)**


	21. Perspective

I couldn't bring myself to throw the ice cream out. It was perfectly good chocolate ice cream. With brownies... frozen chocolate bits of brownie goodness. Throwing it away seemed almost sacrilegious. Eating it felt like giving in. So I compromised. I shoved the container in the very back of my freezer. Out of sight, out of mind. And perfectly good to eat later on when I wasn't so muddled.

The cooler was harder to deal with. It taunted me from the coffee table, small and innocuous and stuffed with slowly thawing ice packs. I flipped it right side up so I couldn't see the black markered bottom, but it still drew my eye from wherever I was in the apartment. In the end, I stuffed it in my closet and went to bed, promising myself I'd think about it in the morning.

The alcohol had made my head fuzzy, and I fell into an uneasy sleep. I woke up the next morning to the blaring of my cell phone alarm and a pulsing headache. I barely had it in me to make a pot of coffee and get dressed for work. I couldn't deal with the stupid, taunting cooler. I left it in the closet.

Chuck called me into his office that morning.

"How are things going out there?" He gave me a cautious smile and nodded toward the chair across from him.

"Fine." I shrugged noncommittally. I wasn't being treated like a total pariah in any case. Joel even nodded hello to me on my way in.

"I need you to be honest with me," he said gently. I looked at him defiantly, and he smiled sadly. "It's a fair question."

"Things are going okay," I said with a sigh, sinking into the chair. "I don't know what you want me to say. It hasn't even been a week."

"Has anyone said anything to you?"

I had a feeling what he was really asking was if James had said anything to me. I restrained from rolling my eyes, but it was a close call.

"Nope. My meeting with James went well yesterday, we set up a basic structure for his web assignment and he's going to give me an update next week. I was hoping to start blocking out Seth's new fantasy league and blog by the end of next week. He had some really good ideas."

Chuck coughed and stared down at his hands for a second. "Yes, Seth. I've been meaning to apologize about that."

I stiffened in my seat.

"What you do outside of the office is none of my business, and neither is whether or not you're involved with Seth. You haven't broken any rules, and your work is excellent. That's all that matters." He seemed to consider it for a moment, then added, "Unless of course, there's another scene like the one on Tuesday. I understand it was out of your control, but it's disruptive and unprofessional. If it happens again, I can't promise to just ignore it."

"It won't happen again," I said immediately.

"Good. Let me know how things go with Seth."

I nodded and stood up. "Thanks, Chuck."

"Don't forget you're on for tomorrow's Saturday shift. Maybe you can put together some projections for a timeline on your project for Garrett?"

"Will do."

I was antsy all day, unable to focus on my work, or do much more than check the clock and click my pen. I did some editing, and I refreshed my email continually for the next five hours or so, but other than that I was completely unproductive. Instead of working I thought about what I would say to Alice the next time I spoke to her and wondered about how family night had gone. Did Edward even go? When had he dropped off the ice cream? It was mostly frozen when I found it, which let me to believe it hadn't been sitting in the hallway for long.

On the walk home from the train station, I wondered if Edward would be waiting at my door again. Maybe he thought the ice cream would soften me enough that I would agree to talk to him now. Was it? Most of my blind anger from Tuesday and Wednesday had faded, leaving me feeling empty and disappointed. I could understand his reaction, but the only part of his apology that really stuck with me was that he had actually believed I could hurt him like Lauren did. He had also spent an awful lot of time talking about how bad he felt, never even touching on how bad he made _me_ feel.

No one was outside my building, and I suppressed an illogical sputter of disappointment. What would I say to him, really? I didn't have anything to say. I didn't want to apologize. I didn't have anything to apologize for. He should feel lucky I even stopped to listen to him for a minute outside my door on Wednesday.

Edward wasn't outside my apartment either, but there was a vase of bright yellow tulips. I approached it slowly, as if it were a ticking bomb. A small white card stuck out of the blooms. I picked up the whole arrangement and walked inside, wondering where he found such beautiful, fresh tulips in January.

Pulling out the card, I set the vase down on my kitchen counter and collapsed into a chair.

_Bella,_

_I would have sent this to your office, but I wasn't sure how it would be received. Rather than cause more problems at your work, I decided to leave it here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not thinking before I acted, and I'm sorry for saying what I said. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I can't help but ask. Please talk to me. I'll wait for your call._

_I meant what I said on Wednesday. You've always been worth it. _

_E_

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Chocolate one day, flowers the next, all while avoiding any personal contact. He was playing his cards carefully. Too carefully. I admit it: part of me was hoping he'd be theatrical about it. Beg and tear at his hair, camp outside my apartment all night. Apart from looking like he hadn't slept a wink the night before, there was very little drama in his apology. It was incredibly immature, but part of me wanted to see him suffer like I had.

I left the flowers out, but didn't call him. Let him wait.

I suppose I should have been annoyed about going in to work on a Saturday, but honestly it gave me something to do that didn't involve thinking about Edward or Alice. It turns out life is kind of boring when you're fighting with the people you spend most of your time with.

The best part about work on a Saturday is not having to dress for it. I slid into a pair of comfortable jeans and a sweatshirt and packed a thermos of coffee, deciding it would be easier to just drive to the office. Screw the train. After a moment's hesitation, I grabbed the tulips too. They_ were_ beautiful, and they'd look nice on my desk. I left the card on my kitchen counter.

The Trib's offices were quiet, the weekend staff being considerably smaller and a little more self-contained. My area was disserted, so I turned on my computer, surfed until I found a good Internet radio station, and started riffling through my paperwork.

I was singing "I'm Just a Girl" at the top of my lungs when I heard the elevator ding. Startled, I dropped the stress ball I was tossing up in the air and poked my head over the top of my wall.

Seth emerged out of the elevator, hands in his pockets, wearing a Bulls jersey over a long sleeved t-shirt and a backwards Cubs hat.

"You look like a walking billboard for Chicago sports, Cleary," I called. He looked up and grinned, making his way to my desk.

"I didn't know you were working today."

"Yep, it's my turn. I'm actually roughing out some ideas for that fantasy league we were talking about the other day, things that could distinguish you from other leagues, content that would make you stand out. I was going to run some of this by you on Monday, but we could talk about it now if you wanted."

"I don't have a whole lot of time, actually. I was just stopping in to grab something off my desk I forgot yesterday."

He glanced at the flowers next to my computer and raised his eyebrows.

"You got a secret admirer?"

"Not exactly."

He narrowed his eyes at the tulips and then turned his glare back to me. "They're not from _him_, are they?"

"It doesn't matter who they're from," I hedged. "And it's none of your business."

"They are! He comes into your office, makes a huge scene, acts like a total asshole, and now what? You're not back together with him, are you?"

"That's none of your business," I said again, feeling myself flush a little bit. "We're not _back_ together. We weren't together to begin with, and we're not together now." I crossed my arms and sat up a little straighter. "And while we're on the subject, don't think I've overlooked the way you made that whole situation even worse by going all overprotective caveman on me."

"You're actually blaming me for that prick's behavior?" His voice went higher in disbelief.

"Of course not," I snapped. "But getting in his face pushed him even further. It made it look like the two of you were fighting over me."

He frowned and pulled off his cap, twisting it a little in his hands.

"Seth? We have to talk about this. I can't afford to be pulled into Chuck's office again. This has to stop."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he protested. "He was getting in your face and yelling. I did what I thought I had to do."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I looked him straight in the eye and took a deep breath. "We can't be more than friends. It wouldn't work between us."

His mouth twisted in a sour smile. "Of course not. You're too involved with the guy who treats you like trash and then tries to make up for it with flowers days later."

I sighed heavily and threw my pen across my desk. "I don't want to fight with you, okay? I'm already fighting with my best friend and Edward, I don't really want to get into it with you." His face fell and he stuffed his hat back onto his head.

"I'll just leave you alone then. I'm sorry to get in your way."

"I'm really sorry," I called before he could go. "You're a great guy. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, that's what all the ladies say right after they tell me they're not interested."

"I just can't have anything else go wrong at the office."

His face softened, and he gave me a small smile. "I get it, Bells. I do. I don't want to make your life harder. I won't pretend I'm not a little disappointed. I think we could have had a lot of fun together."

"Nah," I joked. "I would have had to actually understand you when you started talking about baseball and football. It never would have worked."

"You're probably right," he sighed, reaching out and tugging a piece of my hair. "Hang in there. Make him sweat, okay? I mean, I think he's a douchebag, but whatever. There's no accounting for some people's taste."

"No worries, I don't even have immediate plans to talk to the guy."

His face straightened out for a minute and he glanced back over his shoulder at me. "Good."

After Seth gathered his things and left, I cranked up my speakers again. The Dixie Chicks were wailing away._ I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down._

Sing it, sisters.

The snow was coming down by the time I left the office that afternoon. Depressing as it was to have to look forward to what Kate assured me was at least two and a half more months of winter, I will admit that the effect was beautiful. My feet crunched quietly through the packed down snow. For late afternoon on a Saturday, actually, there wasn't a whole lot of noise at all. No children starting snowball fights, no loud chatter of pedestrians, just the normal flow of traffic. The relative silence was peaceful. Tranquil.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, savoring the smell of snow. Then the trumpets started.

No, seriously. My cell phone started blaring out a trumpet call, loudly and repeatedly. I dug frantically though my purse, anxious to make it stop, but not necessarily to answer it. I had assigned that ringtone to the Cullens. Alice and I joked that it sounded a lot like something that would be played before the Queen of England entered a room. It seemed appropriate for Alice.

When I found my phone though, it wasn't Alice calling. It was Rosalie.

"Hello?"

I couldn't figure out a reason for Rosalie to call. We weren't terribly close, even though she had been kind of invested in getting Edward and I together. I only had her number because I had helped her and Emmett out with their web site when I first moved to town.

"Bella, hey. Listen, I was wondering if you were free for dinner tonight. I have to get out of the house, and I'd really like to talk to you, have some grown up girl time. What do you say?"

"Um, well, I don't know. I just got out of work and—"

"Do you have plans?"

"No."

"Great. When should I come by? Isn't that awesome little pizza shop right around the corner from you? What's it called…something really generically Italian."

"Yes, but—"

"You said you didn't have plans. Have pity on a mom who has spent too much time shut in with her beautiful, wonderful, constantly pooping baby."

"Well, when you put it that way," I sighed. "I'm on my way home now. You can come by whenever."

"Oh my God, thank you," she sighed back. "I'll see you in a half hour, unless people are driving like assholes in the snow. Then it will probably be more like 45 minutes."

I laughed in spite of myself. "Okay, sounds good. See you then."

By the time Rosalie knocked on my door, I was kind of excited about our dinner date. We hadn't really spent one on one time together, but she seemed like a straight shooter, blunt and kind of funny. I had the feeling we would have gotten along really well in college.

She was covered in snow from head to foot, stomping heavily on my doormat. "I feel like the abominable snow monster. Parking around here sucks, I've totally blocked out those memories since moving out of the city."

I laughed and held the door open. "Yeah, I usually get pretty lucky with parking, although with the snow emergency rules it's a little trickier. Has it really picked up? It wasn't snowing so hard when I got home."

"Yeah, it's coming down pretty hard." She shook out her long blonde hair and shrugged her jacket off. "Any chance that pizza place delivers? I'm not quite ready to go back out into that mess."

"As a matter of fact they do." I grinned and jogged to the kitchen, pulling the delivery menu off the fridge. I offered her the well used piece of tag board with a small bow. "Pick your poison. I eat pretty much anything they make."

We settled on one pizza with the works and one with about five different kinds of meat. I also sprang for an order of cheese bread, because if you're going to clog your arteries with grease, cheese, and fatty processed meat, you may as well go all out.

I opened a bottle of wine and settled down at the kitchen table.

"So besides your constantly pooping baby, how's life?"

She shrugged. "Can't complain. Business is good, all things considered. Avery is almost six months old, which I can't even believe. Oh, and Alice is driving me up the wall."

I stopped mid sip and looked at her uncertainly. "What's she done now?"

"I'm going to level with you," she said, pouring herself a glass of wine and leaning back into her chair. "While I really like you, I'm here for purely selfish reasons."

"Okay…?"

"Look, I understand why you yelled at Alice. Frankly, I think it's about time someone told her that the world doesn't revolve around her. But she's really upset, and she keeps talking my ear off about everything, and I'm running out of ways to tell her I'm not getting involved. So this is me, sticking my big nose where it doesn't belong and getting involved. Do you think you could give her a call and at least talk to her?"

"I think that would be playing into the whole 'the world revolves around Alice' theory, don't you?"

"I know, I know," she grumbled. "But she does feel bad. And really, that's just the way Alice is. She gets wrapped up in scheming her little schemes about how life should be, and she doesn't notice when she goes overboard. It's not an excuse, but it's fairly typical for her." When I didn't say anything, she added, "If it makes you feel any better, Edward isn't talking to her either."

I froze at his name. "Why would that make me feel better?"

"Well, since you're the ones who got messed with this time around, it helps that you're both angry at her about it. She can't point to one of you and say,'See? He's not upset. She's overreacting.' She gets that she was wrong."

"I'm not planning on staying mad forever, okay?" I paused, trying to sort through what I wanted to say. "But she has to understand that she can't just fly off the handle when things don't happen the way she thinks they should. She did a lot of damage because she didn't just stop and think for a second."

"It runs in the family," Rosalie said. "Alice and Edward are the worst, but Emmett can be just as bad sometimes. Once, pretty early in our relationship, he walked in on me and my chemistry lab partner working in my dorm room. We were sitting close together on my bed, and he didn't see that we were studying and got angry. He stormed out and we didn't talk for a week."

"He didn't humiliate you in front of your lab partner, did he?"

"No, but we have had some pretty knock down drag out fights," Rose said thoughtfully. "He says exactly what he's thinking when he's angry, just like Edward. I'm not really much better. Poor Avery doesn't stand a chance, I'm sure he'll have quite the temper."

"I thought we were talking about Alice," I said flatly. She opened her mouth to speak but there was a knock at the door. "That'll be the pizza."

I paid the delivery guy and took a minute to inhale the cheesy fumes coming off our dinner before heading back to the kitchen. It was easy to talk to Kate and company about Edward because they didn't know him. He was Rosalie's brother-in-law. She had probably even seen him since our fight. I wasn't sure I would be able to have the conversation she was clearly steering me towards.

"To answer your question," she said, once I had opened up the boxes and grabbed some paper towels, "I think we were talking about both of them."

"Look, I appreciate your insight, but I don't know that I'm ready to talk about this."

"I think you need to talk about it," she said gently. "I'm not going to tell you what you should do, because that's your call. But you have to work with all the information, okay? I'm just trying to give you a little perspective."

I just took a big bite of cheese bread and didn't answer. She took that as a go ahead and kept talking.

"He didn't come to Alice's on Thursday. He still isn't taking her phone calls, but when Emmett talked to him the other night he was pretty upset. He kept saying that he had screwed everything up and that he wasn't sure you would ever talk to him again. He told Emmett everything that happened at the Trib, and he was really broken up about it. He said he couldn't get your face out of his head, the way you looked when he left."

I closed my eyes and willed away the image of the elevator doors closing in front of him. "Good. I hope he feels like shit about it. I could have lost my job, Rosalie."

"That's true. And he knows that. But haven't you ever said anything you didn't mean or done something totally inappropriate when you were really upset? I know I have. I'm not saying you should go over to his apartment and forgive him with lots of hot makeup sex. I'm just saying you both deserve to have an adult conversation about what happened. Maybe this is a deal breaker for you. He should know that."

I sighed and swirled the wine in my glass. "I don't know."

"Okay, I'm just going to say one more thing and then I'll drop it. Are you paying attention?" She waited until I looked up and then spoke again. "Before all this, you were good friends. Even if you don't end up seeing each other romantically, don't let one five minute fight ruin a strong friendship."

She let out a sharp gust of air and took a bite of her pizza, groaning loudly. "Holy shit. Do you live off of this stuff? I think if they had one of these near our house I would gain 30 pounds."

I laughed shakily and poured a little more wine. True to her word, she didn't bring up Edward or Alice again, and we actually had a pretty good night. Despite that, her words hovered in the back of my mind for the rest of our time together… which was probably the point. The way Rosalie said it, not calling Edward made me sound immature and heartless.

The more I thought about it, on my own after Rosalie had left, the more I knew she was right. Edward and I needed to sit down and have a real conversation, no door between us, about what happened. Unfortunately, that conclusion had one giant flaw. I still had no idea what I was going to say.

That was my mindset when I picked up my phone on Sunday morning. Five days was long enough to stew in silence. I could be a big girl and call him. Maybe inspiration would strike while we were on the phone and I would magically know all the answers.

A big part of me hoped he wouldn't answer. That he would still be sleeping, or his phone wouldn't be charged. No such luck. He picked up after the second ring.

"Bella?" He sounded hoarse and breathless. I was so startled by the sound of his voice that I didn't answer.

"Bella, are you there? Please don't hang up. Hello?"

"I didn't hang up."

I heard him exhale in relief. "Thank you."

Awkward pause.

"I got the ice cream. And the flowers."

"I'm glad."

More silence.

"Look I—" I started.

"I just wanted to—" he said at the same time.

We both stopped.

"You go," he said with an awkward laugh.

"Um," I hedged. Inspiration had not struck. I still had nothing to say. It seemed like this would be easier if I could see his face. His face would probably inspire anger, or sadness, or _something_. And just hearing his rough, sad voice made it seem like he was the victim here. He wasn't the victim. He was in the wrong. The dynamic was all off kilter. Yes, in person would definitely be better.

"Do you think we could get together this afternoon? Just to talk, maybe grab some coffee? I think we both have some things to say."

I was hoping we would both have things to say, anyway. Maybe I should start trying to write things down.

"Of course," he said quickly. "Name the time and place and I'm there."

I glanced at the clock on my DVD player. It was ten… and I didn't want to get together for anything that could inspire a meal and a lengthy time commitment if I wanted to get out of there fast.

"How about two at the Starbucks near your apartment?"

"Absolutely. Bella, I'm so sorry about Tuesday, I—"

"You know, I really think we should do this in person," I cut him off, already uncomfortable with the eager relief in his voice.

"Sure," he said quietly, his enthusiasm fading a bit. "I'll see you at two."

"Great."

I hung up without saying goodbye and tossed my phone onto the couch next to me. Leaning back into the cushions, I groaned a little and flung an arm across my eyes.

What the hell was I going to say?

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! We're back for another installment. Side note: Just wanted to assure you that I didn't feel like people were angry at me with reviews for the last couple chapters, no worries. Despite the strong feelings, everyone has been fantastic, and for the most part very insightful and constructive.**

**Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted, favorited, and hung out at the forum. You girls rock my world and make this fun.**

**Let me know what you think! And don't forget to stop by the forum. We have fun. And make pretty drinks. http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670**


	22. Someday

Time flows oddly when you're dreading something. It scrunches together and speeds forward in sharp bursts, and suddenly five hours becomes fifteen minutes, and you have to leave the warmth of your apartment and march toward … something. Toward resolution, toward closure, toward a new beginning.

Toward uncertainty.

I tried to make a list of things to tell Edward, but I kept getting frustrated and crumbling the paper up. There was too much and not enough in my head, and no way to verbalize any of it. On my walk to Starbucks, I had a muttered, one-sided conversation with an imaginary Edward. I kept stuttering and pausing, grappling for the right words, but at least something was coming out. I hoped that I would still have those words, inadequate as they seemed to be, when I was face to face with him.

It was a little after two when I arrived, and Edward was already waiting in line, staring at the door as I walked in. He was dressed casually, but he looked a thousand times better than he had on Wednesday. Even so, he had a thick layer of scruff on his face, and his glasses covered shadows under his eyes. When I walked up to the line, he gave me a hesitant smile and cleared his throat.

"Hey."

"Hello," I returned softly, not smiling but not quite frowning. I felt a flash of worry that over his obvious lack of sleep, then pushed it down.

"What do you want? I'll get it for you."

I paused and considered insisting on buying my own drink, but then decided that the least he could do was buy me a coffee. "A café au lait is fine. Whatever size is the medium."

He nodded once and smiled again, more certain this time. "Why don't you find us a place to sit and I'll bring the drinks when they're ready?"

"Okay."

I wandered toward the windows, where a couple of squashy armchairs were free in the corner. They sat a little apart from the nearest table, and they looked out onto the snowy street. It was as close to private as we were probably going to get in a Starbucks on a busy Sunday afternoon, so I'd take it.

I was about to pick up the copy of the Tribune that was lying out and page through it when Edward showed up with our coffee. He sank gracefully into the chair next to me and offered a cardboard cup wordlessly.

"Thanks," I sighed, taking the cup. I took an experimental sip, but it was too hot, so I set it down on the low coffee table next to us.

"No problem."

We sat quietly for a few seconds, eyeing each other. He broke the silence first.

"Thank you for calling. I wasn't sure you would."

"I wasn't going to," I admitted.

"What changed your mind?"

"I realized that the longer I waited, the harder this conversation would be."

He nodded and glanced down at his coffee cup. "Would you mind if I went first?"

"I was hoping you would."

Setting his cup down next to mine, he turned to fully face me and met my eyes. "The first thing I need to say, before anything else, is that I'm sorry. I acted like a monster, and you have every right to hate me for it. I don't have an excuse, except that I was very upset and not thinking clearly at the time. I know that's not good enough."

I pressed my lips together but nodded for him to continue. I had decided to let him have his say before responding.

"We never really talked about it, on New Year's," he continued. I blinked, surprised by his sudden gearshift. "I was so unbelievably happy that you wanted me, I didn't even tell you how much I wanted _you_."

The intensity in his eyes raised a lump in my throat, and I felt my eyes start to burn. "It's important that you understand this part, Bella. I've done a lot of thinking over the last few days, and I know some things now that I didn't really get before."

He paused and broke eye contact, reaching for his coffee. The break gave me a chance to take a deep breath and collect myself. I needed to stay strong through this. I needed to be able to have my say.

"When you moved to Chicago, I was in a really rough place personally. It was my own fault. I had isolated myself from my family and thrown myself into what was a very unhealthy relationship. I think I knew it at the time, but I had been so convinced at the beginning that Lauren was perfect for me that I kept trying to squeeze myself into the role she needed me to fill." He chuckled, but it was short and humorless. "Square peg, round hole."

I nodded, not sure where he was headed with all this Lauren talk. I had lived through it with him. Did he think I didn't understand?

"And then you were there. A breath of fresh air. Funny and supportive and too good to be true. You made me feel like me again. You didn't make me feel like I wasn't good enough, or like I was wrong for wanting to spend time with my family. I hung out with you, sought you out, even though I felt guilty about it. Like I was betraying Lauren for enjoying your company so much."

I snorted, and then tried to cover it with a cough. He wasn't fooled, and he gave me a small, understanding smile. "I know it's ridiculous, but that's how I felt. Lauren and I started fighting more and more. I still don't understand why she fought so hard to keep us going. The only thing I can think of is that she knew she'd never find someone else who was as willing to put up with all of her bullshit."

He took another drink of his coffee and sighed. "And then everything exploded. And you were still there. Impossibly. I was a mess. I don't know if you really understood what that night did to me. It would have been one thing to find out she was cheating on me. Fine. No big surprise, I suppose. Toward the end we barely saw each other she was working so much. But to find out that our entire relationship had been a lie, a trick right from the start? It meant that even at the beginning, when I was in love and happy and convinced I'd found a woman I could spend my life with… even that was a lie.

"It didn't faze you. You came with me to the bar and let me get completely wasted. You snapped me out of my mood over Thanksgiving, despite the fact that I acted like a bipolar asshole the entire weekend. And you managed to distract me for the entire month of December. Not a small feat."

He smiled then, and I forgot momentarily that I was upset with him, because his smile always made me smile too. Before I could stop myself, my lips twitched up slightly. Edward stared for a moment before continuing.

"I shoved it back. I didn't deal with it. I let you distract me, even though at times I was sure Alice or Emmett had put you up to it. Because why would a woman like you choose to spend her time cheering up a guy like me? Every time we talked or hung out, I liked you more and more. It was hard to keep my hands to myself. I wanted to kiss you the night we watched that movie at my apartment. I almost did kiss you the day we went sledding. I knew it would be wrong..."

He blinked rapidly and ran his finger along the top of his cup, looking away for the first time. "When you kissed me… Bella, I don't think I can explain to you what it felt like. I couldn't believe that I had ever thought Lauren and I could make it, because even in the beginning it was nothing like _that_. You wanted me, you cared about me in the way I had secretly hoped you would since practically the week we reconnected. I felt so incredibly lucky.

"When I listened to Alice's message, it was like the bottom dropped out on my entire world. I know that's a completely melodramatic way of putting it, but that's what it felt like. I heard your name, and the only thing that made sense was that you had told Alice, told her the thing I begged you to keep to yourself. Our relationship hadn't even really begun and you were already lying to me. All I could think was that once again I thought I knew a woman, trusted a woman…maybe even _loved_ a woman who turned out to not give a damn after all."

It wasn't the way that I thought I'd hear those words from him. He sounded pained and sad.

He looked up at me and grimaced. "I was incredibly unfair to you. I didn't listen to you, I made a scene, and I vented some of my feelings for Lauren at you. You didn't deserve any of it. I can't take it back. But I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. Please tell me it's not too late."

And then he was staring at me, green eyes wide and honest and sad, and I struggled to hold onto the words I wanted to say.

"I don't know if it's too late," I said in a gruff voice I didn't quite recognize. "I need to say something, and then I need some answers."

His expression didn't change. He nodded for me to continue.

"I don't have a speech prepared. I'm still working through all this."

"That's okay," he rushed to say. "Just say whatever—"

"Thank you, I will," I interrupted. "I let you speak; now it's my turn. Okay?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured, taking a sip of coffee and leaning back into his chair. "I'll be quiet."

"I don't even know how to tell you what you showing up at my office did. I could have lost my job. It was a very real possibility. The thing that saved me was the fact that I hadn't been reporting that several of my coworkers had been sexually harassing me for months."

His eyebrows knit together and his mouth puckered in a deep frown. "Sexual harassment...what are you talking about?"

"I told you I was having problems with the guys. I told you they were resistant to working with a woman. Did you need me to paint you a picture? You showed up and dressed me down in front of all of them, you made me cry, and then you and Seth went all macho in front of me. I looked weak, like every stereotypical hysterical female in history."

I took a deep breath to calm myself. "It looked terrible, Edward. It did a lot of damage. I don't know how to fix that. I'm going to have to work my ass off to get back every ounce of respect that incident cost me. Do you know how hard that's going to be?"

He looked like he was going to say something again despite his promise, so I kept going. "You didn't treat me like someone you cared about. You were an asshole, to put it nicely. I understand why you were angry. But now you've raised a lot of doubt. Is this how you fight? Loud and scary and mean, with no respect? Relationships hit speed bumps. People argue. Couples fight. How do I know this won't happen again?"

I paused, inviting him to answer this time.

"I can't promise that I'll never yell again," he said softly. "I'm not perfect." He laughed dryly. "Obviously."

When I didn't say anything, he kept going. "I can tell you that I don't yell often, but I do tend to spout off without thinking. Sometimes I say things I regret. It's a bad habit, and I'll try to work on it with you. I promise you that I will never argue with you in public again, and I won't storm off without letting you have your say. You deserve more than that. You deserve everything."

"You set an awful high standard for me to meet," I continued, wincing a little at the look on his face. I knew that he was sorry, that was obvious. Sorry, and apparently a little oblivious. Sorry wasn't the issue anymore. "Too good to be true. Capable of destroying your whole world. How am I supposed to live up to that? Will it always be like this when I screw up? Because I'm going to screw up too."

I met his eyes and asked the one question that I knew I needed an answer to before I could consider moving forward.

"If it was true... if I had slipped and accidentally told Alice about Lauren... would we still be having this conversation? Would you have sent the ice cream and the flowers? Would you have bothered with an apology at all?"

He stared at me for a second, undisguised pain in his eyes. "I think I would have, but I don't know for sure."

It wasn't unexpected, but it still hurt.

"Thank you for being honest."

I didn't say anything else, I couldn't. Edward finally cleared his throat and shot me a frustrated glance.

"Bella? What does that mean?"

"I don't know, okay?" I snapped. "It means that you can say you love me, but you can't say you'd forgive me for making a big mistake. What am I supposed to do with that? How do I get past your mistakes if you can't say you'll get past mine?"

"I don't know what you want me to do here," he groaned, ruffling his hair. "I'm trying to be honest with you. I don't know how I would have reacted to that situation on Tuesday. Today I'm trying to fix this. Tomorrow, I'll be trying to fix this. I want to be better for you, but I'm not a mind reader, Bella, I can't do this alone. What do you want me to do?"

"Give me time," I whispered. "Be my friend. Show me this is something you're sure about. Help me trust this."

"Does that mean you're talking to me again? Friends talk to each other."

I smiled in spite of myself. "I suppose. Let's go slow okay? I think this was enough for today. Baby steps."

I stood up and walked to the garbage can to throw away my cup, and Edward followed me. "Did you walk here?" he asked.

"Yes, I needed the fresh air and driving would have been too much of a pain."

"Can I walk you home?"

I hesitated, taking in his carefully hopeful expression. "You live in the other direction and its freezing."

"I know. I'm just not quite ready to say goodbye yet."

When I still didn't answer, he gave me a crooked grin and added, "I won't even ask to come up. Door to door service. Please?"

"I guess. But just the walk home, okay?"

"Of course," he said quickly, pulling on his hat and gloves. "Just the walk home."

It was a little awkward, walking briskly down the street with Edward at my side. The five days we had spent apart had carved out space between us, both physically and emotionally. Before Tuesday, the physical space between us was compressed and charged. We communicated through glances, brief touches, and little smiles.

Now it was like there was a wall between us. Everything was stiff and unsure. Cumbersome.

After several blocks and almost ten minutes, I spoke. "Have you talked to Alice?"

He stiffened and frowned, giving me a sidelong glance. "Not since Tuesday. Have you?"

"No. Rosalie said she's really upset though."

"I bet," he snorted. "Real upset about shooting her mouth off and inserting herself into our business."

"Shooting her mouth off without thinking about it and hurting the people she cares about...now why does that sound familiar?"

"It's not the same thing," he growled. "She didn't have anything to do with us."

"Of course she does," I sighed. "She's a part of your family, Edward. Doesn't give her a blank check to interfere, but she doesn't have _nothing_ to do with us."

"So what, you're going to call her up and hug it out?"

"No," I shot back, annoyed. "I don't know what I'm going to do. She's _your_ sister. What are you going to do?"

He exhaled through his nose and rubbed his hands together briskly. "She has to learn her lesson. I just want to be mad for a while, okay?"

We reached my door and I looked up at him. "Yeah, I can understand that."

"Thanks for calling," he said with a soft smile. He reached out and gently took one of my gloved hands in both of his own.

"See you later, friend," I replied, slipping my fingers out from his and giving him a small wave. I slipped through the door and hurried to the stairwell, not stopping to look back.

I jogged up the stairs and pulled out my phone as I went.

"Kate? I need a drink."

*****

"You know it's not even 5 p.m. on Sunday right? Do we need to talk about your alcohol consumption?"

Kate agreed to meet me for a sandwich and a beer, and we were squished up against the wall in some generic chain burger joint.

"Shut up," I laughed, pointing a fry at her. "I'm eating with my alcohol, and I'm not alone. What more do you want from me?"

"I'm watching you," she said in a mock serious voice, taking a huge bite out of her sandwich.

"So," she swallowed, "what was the big emergency that required the emergency beerectomy? Do I need to cut someone?"

"No, I don't think so," I half-laughed, half-sighed. "I talked to Edward this afternoon."

She stared at me, waiting. When I didn't say anything, she rolled her eyes. "And...?"

"And... he was really repentant. He practically groveled."

"Well, I hope so," she muttered. "What did you expect, that he wasn't going to apologize?"

"I don't know what I expected. I really wanted to hold onto how I felt after he yelled at me, that totally pissed, righteous anger. I wanted to give as good as I got, you know?"

She nodded and took another bite.

"But I couldn't. I was just really sad, and in this really weird way, relieved. Like just hanging out for an hour at Starbucks and talking to him about the whole thing made me feel better about life in general. Is that totally sick? Arg, what's wrong with me?" I knotted my hair around my hand and pushed it around my head for a while, trying to verbalize what I was feeling.

"I'm pathetic," I said finally, dropping my hair.

"You're not pathetic," Kate laughed. "Look, he's your friend and he screwed up. He screwed up big time. I think we can agree on that." She raised her eyebrows at me and I nodded.

"But did he ever do anything like this before?"

"Well, he was kind of scary when he was breaking up with Lauren. That was the only time I ever saw him yell like that."

"Did you think it was okay for him to yell at Lauren like that?"

"I don't know," I hedged, chewing my lip a little. "Lauren was a huge bitch. It's kind of different."

"It's not different. They were in a relationship."

"You'd know it was different if you heard the way she was talking to him."

"Okay, so he was provoked."

"Extreme provocation," I confirmed.

"Did you talk to him about the yelling?"

"Yes..."

"And what did he say?"

"That he doesn't yell often but he does say things without thinking, and he promised to work on it."

"Did you take a running leap into his arms?"

"No."

"Did you bring him up to your apartment?"

"No."

"Did you agree to go out with him again?"

"No."

"Then I fail to see how you are, in any way, pathetic."

"I guess."

"Look, Bella, this is simple. You've said your piece. You got your apology. If you don't want to be his friend anymore or whatever, just break it off."

"I don't want to break it off! I want things to be the way they were a week ago!"

It rushed out of me, prodded by all of Kate's annoying little questions, the little angry rant I had been trying to spit out all day. "I want to be Edward Cullen's girlfriend, who doesn't have to worry about feeling like a doormat. I want to be worrying about how soon is too soon for him to see me naked, or whether or not I should leave a toothbrush at his apartment. I don't want to think about fighting and apologies. This is total bullshit. He ruined everything and I'm pissed!"

Kate snorted, then laughed. "Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Damn it, you jerk," I laughed and shoved her arm a little. "I can't be Edward Cullen's girlfriend."

"Not now, you can't," she agreed. "But someday. Nothing worth doing right was ever easy. That's what they tell me anyway."

"Someday," I sighed. We clinked our glasses together and I finished my beer. It seemed like a far-off concept, and it wasn't nearly as fun as 'right now.' But I could be happy with someday, as long as I knew it was coming. With both of us on the same page, it would be more fun than the last time around, and hopefully less confusing. We would both need to be ready this time, because I wasn't going to go through this again. I knew one thing though. If we could make it there, someday would be a very good day.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so everyone catch your breath. I admit I'm nervous about this one, especially in light of some of your reviews. It had to be this way though. Bella would not have it any other way. So I hope you don't flounce on me. Anyway...**

**Requisite thank yous: Thank you to every reader, reviewer, rec'er, and all who alerted and favorited. You blow my mind. Thank you to the girls on the forum (**http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670**) and everyone who has been so awesome on Twitter (I'm justaskalice there, if you're interested). I'm seriously overwhelmed by the good vibes you guys send out, even when you're totally pissed about what just happened. So thank you.**

**And if you like, you could leave a review. I like those. :)  
**


	23. Flaws

"So you understand, with the information we've come up with, we don't have enough for more than an informal warning," Charlotte said. She was less laid back and more business like today, probably because she was sharing bad news.

I was seated in the small office in HR for the second time in two weeks, staring blankly at Charlotte. I had known it was a possibility, hell, a probability, but it still kind of burned to hear her say it.

"An informal warning?" I repeated. "He treated me like dirt for months while making derogatory comments about my gender and my job performance. He tried to hurt me."

"I know it's difficult," she said with a sympathetic frown. "But we really only have your testimony and the word of one of your co-workers. No one else was able to point to witnessing a specific event or exchange that supports the charge. We simply can't issue serious warnings without the necessary evidence to back it up."

"No one..." I sputtered. "I'm sorry, but that's just wrong. Some of those guys are just as guilty."

"I understand that you're upset," she continued. "And I can promise you that we will be monitoring the situation closely. Your editor is aware of how things stand at the moment, and we will be scheduling a sexual harassment awareness seminar for your department for the near future. If something else should happen, please let us know immediately, as well as your editor."

"Aren't you worried about a lawsuit?"

"Are you planning on suing us?" Charlotte asked, folding her hands in front of her.

"I think I'd be within my rights," I said angrily. "You're not even going to issue a formal warning?"

"As someone who deals with these things for a living, I feel compelled to tell you that at this point your case is weak. You have one witness who can actually point to specific behavior, besides that all we can determine is that you and Mr. Allen have an adversarial and somewhat hostile relationship, and it the antagonism is mutual. That's why we can't do anything other than issue an informal warning. Now that we are aware of your situation, of course, we'll be following things much more closely. And of course if you'd like to speak with your own legal counsel you're welcome to do that."

I groaned. "Everyone is going to know this seminar is because of me."

"We periodically schedule sensitivity training and team building seminars by department. The group we contract to do these talks is very professional, and I assure you things will be kept neutral and positive." She cocked her head slightly. "Actually I think a team building seminar would probably also be helpful at this point. I'll speak to my supervisor about it."

"Great," I sighed. "Is there anything else?"

"That's all for now, Miss Swan. Thank you for stopping by."

I made my way back down to my floor, totally annoyed. Thank God it was already Monday afternoon. I only had to make it through a couple more hours at my desk before I could duck out the door and make a break for it.

Garrett and Seth were not-so-casually leaning against a cubicle wall near my desk when I walked back into the newsroom.

"How'd it go?" Seth asked. I was relieved that things still seemed normal between us. He hadn't mentioned Saturday, and I certainly wasn't going to bring it up.

"Fine," I said with a shrug.

"What are they going to do?" he pressed, crossing his arms. I recognized his pseudo-protective stance and decided to take the opportunity to nip his attitude in the bud.

"They're going to issue a warning, and we're all going to have to go to some sensitivity training," I said calmly. "It's okay, Seth. I'm okay, the situation is under control, and you need to stop trying to shield me from the big bad wolf. I handled it."

"Atta girl," Garrett laughed, patting my shoulder. Seth frowned and looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut. "Although I'm not looking forward to the sensitivity training. Oh, man, do you remember the last time they had one of those?" He looked to Seth, who broke out into a toothy grin.

"Now, Mr. Allen," Seth answered in a falsetto voice. "How would you respond if a co-worker made unwelcome sexual advances on you?"

Garrett chuckled and I choked. "What did he say?"

Seth snorted and deepened his voice in a bad imitation of James. "Male or female?"

"Why am I not surprised?" I laughed. "Has he always been such an asshole?"

"Pretty much," Garrett said with a shrug. "Though he has his moments. Hey!"

"Hey what?"

"What are you doing tonight? Kate's going to meet me, Seth, and Jeremy at Ivan's for wings to watch the game. I think she's bringing Tanya, too. Do you want to come?"

"Well..."

"Come on, it'll be fun. Remember how much you loved their wings when we went?" Seth added.

"Are things going to be weird with Jeremy?" I asked, shifting slightly to scan the room.

"Nah," Garrett said. "He tries to fly under the radar. He hangs out with Joel sometimes, but he really doesn't like James. It'll be cool."

"Okay. Sure. It'll be nice to see Kate and Tanya anyway."

"Great! We're going to walk together after work, so just be ready around five and we'll take off."

The atmosphere around the office was still a bit off, but since HR had finished their formal investigation last week things seemed to be getting back to what passed for normal. The big difference I had noticed was that James wasn't speaking to me. I got all of his submissions via email, and sent them back the same way. He steered an intentionally wide path around my cube. I wondered if it was something Chuck said or if he was just being extra careful until an official decision had been passed down.

Logically, I knew that something had to change, and it would probably have to be me. It seemed like everything that was going wrong in my life right now, Alice, Edward, this thing with James: all of it revolved around deciding that I could handle something on my own and then not telling anyone how I felt or what I thought. I just charged ahead with my plan. Ignoring Seth's flirting, moving forward with Edward even though I _knew_ it was too soon after his break up with Lauren, not saying anything about James to anyone who could do anything about it.

I spent the afternoon in my cube, editing mindlessly while I tried to come up with a way to start to fix things. There had been a brief, shining period right after I moved to Chicago where everything in my life seemed to moving in the right direction. I had a good job, I had good friends. I wanted to get back to that feeling of completeness.

When Seth swung by my cube a little after five, I had made up my mind. Kate's advice from the first time we ever hung out rang in my ears. _They're waiting for you to fail? Then be the best._ Between this thing with James and worrying about how the guys were accepting me, I lost my focus. I took this job because it was a great opportunity, a fantastic first job, but I had spent all my time worrying about the office dynamic. I hadn't gotten any of my goals accomplished; I had barely begun. It was time to remember why I was there. In the mean time, I had to try and mend some fences.

"I hope Kate grabbed a big enough table," Garrett said as we pushed into the crowded bar and glancing around. "Do you see her?"

"Yeah, I'm not such a great help with finding people," I laughed. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm about six inches shorter than most of the people blocking our view right now."

"I got this, pipsqueak," Seth teased. "She's in the corner."

Garrett swiveled around, still looking. "Where?"

"She's waving from the corner booth. There, see her?"

Kate was perched on the edge of a booth, half standing and waving both her arms wildly. Tanya sat next to her, looking mildly amused.

"Bella, you made it!" Kate said with a grin as we approached. She slid over, nudging Tanya toward the middle of the bench. Seth, Garrett, and Jeremy scooted into the other side.

"How could I pass up hot wings and two of my favorite nurses?" I asked, winking at Tanya. She smirked.

"We _are_ pretty irresistible."

Seth was staring at her with a slightly unfocused look on his face, which made me smile. He may have been disappointed that I wasn't interested, but he'd be just fine.

"Are you sure you didn't just come for the beer?" Kate asked, pouring me a glass from the pitcher.

"Ha ha," I deadpanned. "You're one to talk. I see you've got a glass in front of you. Enabler."

"And proud of it," she laughed, clinking my glass with hers. "We just ordered a bunch of food, so I hope you guys are hungry. Yes," she said, looking at Garrett as he opened his mouth. "I got an order of honey barbeque. Pansy."

"It's not my fault you like the kind that practically burns your tongue off," he shot back. "Excuse me for wanting to taste my food."

It was a relief to just sit back and listen. Jeremy had spent some time with Kate and Tanya in the past, and the only person I hadn't seen Seth immediately click with was Edward, so he melded seamlessly with the group. It wasn't the same energy that I got from hanging out with the Cullens; it was mellower somehow, but it was still nice. Seth and Jeremy exchanged college basketball statistics and Garrett asked Kate and Tanya questions about their day. I let myself get carried along in the gentle banter and quiet conversation.

"Bella?" Tanya's voice pulled me back. "Isn't that your friend? Alice, I think?"

I whipped my head around, suddenly tense. "Where?"

"Over by the bar, next to that really big guy."

My eyes scanned the bar quickly, and it wasn't hard to spot Emmett's distinctive shape. There, right next to him, sat Alice. She was staring at me with a little frown on her face, her eyebrows crinkled. I dropped my eyes, breaking contact.

"Shit," I muttered. "Is she still looking?"

Tanya leaned around me. "Yep, and she just stood up. She's coming over here. What's wrong, I thought you guys were really close?"

"We had a fight," I said tersely.

"Well, she looks pretty determined...so I hope you're ready to talk to her."

"Bella?" Alice's voice waivered timidly. "Hey."

I sighed and looked up. She was standing a safe distance away, wringing her hands. I tried to ignore how the table had gotten quieter when she approached.

"Yes, Alice? Can I help you?"

"Well I saw you over here and I just wondered... I'm sorry, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?" She cast a significant glance over my shoulder.

I crossed my arms. "I'm out with my friends, Alice. We're eating. Is this really important?"

I knew I was being rude, but it felt so reminiscent of Edward's outburst at the office, in front of my coworkers.

"I just wanted to talk to you, just for a second," she pleaded quietly. "Please?"

"Go ahead, Bella, I'll make sure these guys don't eat all your wings," Kate said. She nudged me with her elbow. I glared at her and then stood.

I followed Alice to the little hallway that led to the kitchens and the restrooms and leaned against the wall.

"What did you need, Alice?"

She stared at her feet for a second. "Well it wasn't anything specific..."

"You pulled me away from my friends for no reason, then?"

"No," she said firmly. "I just...we haven't talked since everything happened, and I know you talked to Edward, so I was thinking we could—"

"Ugh," I cut her off with a groan. "Whether or not I'm talking to Edward is none of your business, and doesn't have anything to do with whether or not I'm ready to talk to you. Why do you even that Edward and I are talking?"

"Emmett told me," she said defiantly. She looked up at me and mirrored my tense stance. "You're both avoiding me. I know I overreacted, okay? I get that I was wrong. Can't we at least talk about this?"

"This isn't a conversation I want to have in a bar while my food is getting cold," I said firmly. "I'm sorry that Edward and me being angry with you is inconvenient, but I think we're entitled. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk to you."

She gave me the same soft, pleading look that Edward had given me on Sunday, and I felt my resolve waiver slightly. I wondered if the ability to make that face was ingrained in their DNA.

"I promise to call you as soon as I'm ready to talk. I just need a little bit more time. Can you give that to me?"

She nodded sadly and looked like she was about to say something else, but at that moment Jasper pushed through the crowd and appeared at her side.

"Here you are," he said, not seeing me at first. "Why are you over here? Emmett's waiting at a table."

I cleared my throat and he looked up. A flash of understanding passed over his face and he offered me an awkward smile.

"Oh. Hi, Bella. How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks. I'm actually going to head back to my friends. Alice, I'll call you when I'm ready."

I nodded to Jasper and turned to go. As I was leaving I heard Jasper say something to Alice. It sounded like, "No, he's not coming."

I wondered if he was talking about Edward. The thought made me smile. I knew it was a bit vindictive to enjoy watching Alice squirm, but I couldn't make myself care in that minute. Schadenfreude is a beautiful thing.

I slid back in next to Kate and gave her a bright smile when she looked at me. "Everything okay?"

I shrugged and reached over to snag a wing off the plate in the middle of the table. "Not really, but I'm dealing with it."

"You want to talk about it?"

I glanced across the bar and found Emmett again, at a little table off to the side, now seated with Jasper and Alice. Jasper had his arm around Alice's shoulders, and she was slumped into his side, toying dejectedly with a menu while Jasper and Emmett talked.

"Honestly?" I looked back to Kate. "No. Not one bit. I'd rather talk about anything else. Tell me about your day."

She eyed me warily for a second, then nodded and launched into a story about something that happened in the ER that morning. Tanya interjected here and there, and soon the whole table was drawn into our conversation. Nobody brought up Alice, or Edward, or James. It was wonderful.

*****

Edward called on Tuesday night. He caught me off guard—I was making dinner and didn't stop to register the ringtone before I answered.

"Hello," I sang. I was stirring pasta with one my other hand, and I almost dropped my spoon when I heard his voice.

"Hi."

"Edward, hey, what's up?" My voice sounded high and nervous, though I couldn't really understand why. I shouldn't be nervous, he called me. Right? Right. I set down my spoon and grabbed my wine glass.

"I was just calling to see if you have plans for tomorrow night. I thought we could hang out, maybe talk a little bit more."

I didn't answer immediately, so he rushed to continue. "It doesn't have to be a big deal or anything, friends get together, right?"

"That sounds okay," I said cautiously. "What did you want to do?"

"How do you feel about grabbing dinner or something? My treat?"

"I don't know." Dinner seemed like a huge jump, almost like a date.

"It doesn't have to be a big deal, Bella," he sighed. He sounded tired. I wondered if he was sleeping, or if work was stressing him out. At least he had Emmett to talk to. "I just want to see you. Please?"

"Okay, dinner could be good. But I'm paying for my half."

"You drive a hard bargain, Swan, but I'll take it." His tone lightened and I felt a weight lift from my chest that I hadn't known was there. "Do you want to meet me somewhere around seven? What do you feel like eating?"

"Indian?"

"I know just the place." He rattled off an address quickly and I scrambled for a pen.

"Great, sounds good."

"Good."

There was a pause, and I struggled for something say. He had called, he invited me out to dinner, it was my turn to show some forward progress. I could do this.

"I saw Alice last night." I blurted it out. I don't know why I said it, except that it was _something_.

"You did?" His tone dropped again, became slower, almost apprehensive.

"Well, I was at Ivan's with some friends from work and Alice was there with Emmett and Jasper. She came over to talk to me."

"What friends?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What friends were you there with?"

"Um, a couple of the guys, and then Kate and her friend Tanya met us there. It was fun."

"And Alice was there?"

The bouncing back and forth was confusing me. "Yes. That's what I said."

He didn't say anything else, so I continued. "She wanted to know why I was talking to you and not to her."

"What did you tell her?"

"That it wasn't any of her business and I'd talk to her when I was good and ready."

He barked a loud, short laugh. "I'm sure she loved that. Jasper tried to get me to come out with them, but I told him I had plans."

The image of Edward out with another girl flashed in front of my eyes. It was silly, and completely unlikely, but it still hurt. He was allowed to have plans. I had plans last night, after all.

"Did you?"

He snorted. "Of course I didn't. I just didn't want to see Alice. She'd bug me about you, and... wait a minute. How did she know we were talking again?"

"Emmett?"

"Emmett." He said it like a swear word.

"It doesn't matter," I sighed. "I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it."

"It does matter," he insisted. "My family has always been close, everyone in everyone else's business. I think the whole thing with Lauren spurred this ridiculous protective streak, and now no one will leave me alone. I'm an adult. We're all adults. It's one thing to be concerned, but it's another thing entirely to get involved."

"I'm sorry, Edward."

For a second, it felt like we were Edward and Bella again. He was sharing, I was listening. Instead of feeling comforting, for the first time I noticed the how lopsided our talks sometimes were. I felt like sharing something, passing a little piece of _my _burden onto _him._

"I had had a meeting with HR today," I said after a pause. It was an awkward subject change, but the need to say something pushed the words out. I was starting to feel like I didn't have control over my mouth anymore. "They're issuing James an informal warning and making my department attend sensitivity training and team building."

"Ugh," he grunted. "They make us do those seminars every year at the high school. I'm sorry. How are you feeling about everything? How are things... going?"

With that simple question, we were off. I told him about James avoiding me, and everything I had forgotten to focus on since October. He told me about his students and a new honors band he was trying to get the administration to approve. We had never talked like this before. Oh we had had long talks, mostly revolving around our families or the past. This felt different. It felt like progress. We talked for an hour before saying goodnight, agreeing to meet the next night.

I took advantage of my late dinner plans with Edward on Wednesday and worked late, coming up with a list of things I wanted to accomplish in the next month or so, charting out timelines and working through pitches. As I worked, I rediscovered all the little things I had been so excited about in October. Even though I stayed almost two hours later than usual on Wednesday night, I left in a better mood than I had in weeks. I shot an email to Chuck before I shut down my computer asking to schedule a meeting to go over my plans and walked out with a smile on my face.

The Indian restaurant Edward had picked was small but cozy, and it smelled fantastic. Edward was already leaning against the hostess podium when I walked in. He looked a bit windswept, but more rested than he had on Sunday. At the sound of the door, he turned and greeted me with a crooked smile. I blushed and smiled back, concentrating on stomping out the butterflies in my stomach. I was determined that this would just be dinner with a friend. Not a date.

He stepped back and helped me out of my coat, dragging his fingertips over my shoulders as he did so and making me shiver.

_Not a date._

"I already asked for a table, I think we're waiting for someone to finish up. Hostess said maybe a five minute wait." He folded my coat over his arm and smiled at me again. "How was your day?"

"Really good, actually. Seems weird considering everything that's happened lately." He frowned a little and looked away, and I thought I saw a hint of pink on his cheeks. I replayed the words and realized he probably thought I was taking a dig at him. "I mean with James and the HR mess, and, well , you know," I added lamely.

"Yeah, right," he said, nodding but still not looking at me. The hostess approached then and saved us from ourselves. I was hoping for a table in the middle of the action, so to speak, surrounded by others so if our conversation floundered we could people-watch and things wouldn't be as awkward. No such luck. She led us to a table tucked in the back corner. It was intimate. A tea light glowed from the center of the tablecloth, and it was isolated enough from the general clamor of the restaurant that you couldn't hear the individual conversations of nearby diners, just a muddled sort of buzz.

She left us with our menus and I busied myself with my water glass for a second.

"Do you come here a lot?"

He looked up, surprised. "In the summer I come for the lunch buffets, but I don't usually come for dinner. I haven't been here in a while actually. Lauren hated Indian food, she barely tolerated my curry."

He snapped his mouth shut after that and looked uncertain again. I felt like growling in frustration.

"Why on earth is this so uncomfortable?"

He blinked and his mouth popped open a little.

"Seriously, if it's going to be this painful every time we talk I'd like to know in advance, just so I can prepare."

His mouth worked uselessly for a second, and then his lips curved into a smile. A soft chuckle escaped, then a couple of louder laughs.

"Tell me how you really feel, Bella. Don't hold back."

"Last night I really felt like we got somewhere. We were talking, we were getting along. Why do I feel like we're back at square one?"

He scratched his head a bit, rumpling his already messy hair while he searched for the right words. I could tell he was working through something because of the way his eyebrows drew together in concentration. Finally, he looked up and dropped his hand from his hair.

"I don't know what this is anymore," he admitted. "Are we friends? Are we going to try to be more? I'm confused."

"We're barely past apologies and you want to know what this is?" I asked, a little stunned. "I said I wanted to be friends. Can't we work on the rest later?"

"It's just that I wasted a lot of time with Lauren," he said quickly. He clasped his hands together, twiddling his thumb and forefinger nervously. "I know that I have a lot to make up for, and this isn't perfect. Maybe it's stupid of me to even be talking to you about this right now, but we spent so much time dancing around each other before that I want to make sure we're on the same page, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I laughed. "I was there."

It was refreshing to just say what was in my head, not to question, and to know that he was doing the same thing.

"I guess I'd like to be friends first, and work our way up to something else. Maybe even see other people for a while."

He frowned and looked a little pained. "You want to see other people?"

"I don't know," I said. The idea hadn't occurred to me before, and I hadn't thought about it before I said it, but as I gave it more thought it made a certain kind of sense. "Maybe. And it could be good for you to just date casually for a while. Have some fun, work through the Lauren issues. If you still want to try something more serious with me after a while, we can revisit it."

He was still frowning, so I added, "We can still hang out, see each other. I'm not saying I don't want to spend time with you. I'm just saying things moved really quickly and maybe we should explore all the options."

The waitress came then and we ordered. I got something with lamb. I wasn't really paying attention to the menu. I was waiting for Edward's response.

I wasn't exactly sure why I liked the idea of seeing other people. It wasn't like there was a line leading out the door for me, or that I was interested in someone else. I guess I was still dwelling on the fact that he seemed to have placed me on a shelf, a perfect little Bella doll, and not the flesh-and-blood, flawed and completely average individual I knew myself to be. If he dated around, maybe he would see how normal I was and we could reach some sort of understanding.

Of course, the unfortunate side effect of that plan could very well be for him to decide he wasn't interested anymore. Despite the fact that he was a little damaged at the moment, Edward was a catch. Most women would consider me borderline insane to keep turning him down the way I was, and I would be hard pressed to find a single girl who wouldn't jump at the opportunity to pick up what I was throwing away. The thought of him out on dates hurt, but diving back into an exclusive relationship with him as things stood would probably hurt more. Maybe I _was_ insane...it would explain a lot.

"If you need time, I can give you time," he said finally, and I snapped back to the present. "If you want to see other people, I guess I can't stop you. I meant what I said on Sunday, though. We can go as slow as you need, but I'm in this. I want to fix my mistakes, and I want more with you. I'll prove it to you, as long as you let me."

A warmish sort of glow bubbled in the pit of my stomach, and I could feel my cheeks flush a little at his sincere little speech. I wasn't sure if I was talking out of my ass about the "seeing other people" thing, or if I would be able to stick to my guns while he continued to be sweet and apologetic and honest. All I knew was that I liked the way we were in that moment, in an Indian restaurant on the north side of Chicago, tucked away in a corner and being ourselves. Edward and Bella. Two flesh-and-blood, flawed, and completely average individuals.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I'm late with this one. I've had midterms and other RL things, and not a lot of sleep. Turns out when you're writing fanfic, sleep is a good thing. **

**Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, alerted, and rec'ed the fic this week. Big shout out to the ladies on the thread (http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670) and my twitter friends. I love you all.  
**

**An extra big hug goes out to daisy3853 for holding my hand through this one. Love you sweets.**

**On a side note, spanglemaker and I are really having a blast with "Girl with a Red Umbrella." You should check it out :) **

**I'm participating in The Fandom Gives Back Author's Auction. The money goes to Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation, which is a charity dedicated to cancer research. You can bid on an EPOV outtake of your choice from Kissed the Girls, a minimum of 3,000 words. There is no limit on the moment, it's completely up to you. This is your chance to find out what Edward was thinking! If a bunch of you want to pool your money, that's an option too. As soon as the link to the auction thread is available, I will post it on the story thread. Bidding is during New Moon week, November 15-20. For more information visit www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com.  
**

**Phew. That's all I got. Tell me what you think?  
**


	24. Trust

The rest of the night with Edward went well. We chatted almost effortlessly for another hour or so, never really touching back on the subject of seeing other people or our relationship. I accepted that he wasn't giving up, and I got the feeling he understood that I still wasn't sure. For the moment, that was okay. I knew I wouldn't go weeks without talking to him about it again, so I was alright with just hanging out for an evening.

After dinner, Edward walked me to my car, catching my arm once when I slipped on a patch of ice. He steadied me, one hand wrapped around my bicep and the other on the small of my back. Once I was upright and sturdy, he let go with a soft smile.

When we got to my car, he stopped at the sidewalk and watched me pick my way through the snow piles to the driver's side door. I gave him a little wave and opened the door.

"Good night," I called, sliding inside and slamming the door behind me. I had just started the engine when he knocked on the passenger window. I rolled it down and he stuck his head in.

"When can I see you again?"

I laughed quietly and quirked an eyebrow at him. "I don't know. When did you have in mind?"

"What are you doing Saturday night?"

I shrugged.

"Come out with me. Emmett and Rose wanted to go to a new bar that's opening up. They got a babysitter and we're going to make a real night of it for once."

"Well..." It was tempting, and I missed hanging out with Emmett and Rose.

"Please?" He gave me a hopeful grin, and I nodded.

"Okay."

He beamed. "Great. I'll call you Friday with details."

When I got home, I felt restless. I paced around my apartment, picking things up and then setting them back down, adjusting picture frames and scrubbing imaginary spots on my coffee table and kitchen counter. Things were going so well with Edward that it made me think of Alice. I kept remembering her sad, nervous face at Ivan's and the look on Jasper's face when he saw the two of us talking.

I knew I would have to talk to her soon. We were friends, and she wanted to apologize. It was stubbornness and a need to keep the upper hand for a little while longer that made me turn her away on Monday, immature as I knew that to be. On the other hand, I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't ready to talk. Her direct interference had stalled out my relationship with Edward, and it seemed to me that regardless of the harm she knew she had caused, she still felt entitled to her position of involvement. That wasn't okay.

I knew that if we sat and talked about it, we could come to some kind of understanding and move on. The trouble was I was exhausted by all the "talks" I had been having lately. With Seth, with Edward, with Kate, with Rose. The next logical stop on the list was Alice, and it wasn't fair to her to keep putting it off.

Nevertheless, I didn't call her Thursday. I worked late again, finishing my list of goals and deadlines. I had compiled a neat spreadsheet, color coordinated and broken down into concise segments. I sighed with satisfaction as I pushed away from my desk late that night. Chuck and I would be meeting on Monday, and I was ready for it. I wasn't sure how realistic some of my plans were, but it was a start, and a small step toward making my mark on the job and the paper.

I was leaving the office when my cell phone chirped, indicating a text message. I rummaged through my purse and pulled it out, flipping it open to a text from Alice.

_**Family night isn't the same without you.**_

That was it. No plea to call her, no apology, just a straight out statement. I sighed, staring at the simple words. I didn't respond on my walk to the train or during my commute back to my neighborhood. My phone stayed silent on the walk to my apartment, and I didn't touch it while I walked around my living room and kitchen, putting things away and pulling together a rough dinner. Finally, about an hour after she had texted me, I tapped out a short reply.

_**I'll call you tomorrow.**_

*****

Friday afternoon, James spoke to me for the first time since the whole Edward disaster. He stopped by my cube, leaning casually against the doorway and looking bored.

"Can I help you?" I asked, glancing up from my computer screen and then focusing right back on my work.

"I can't believe you complained to HR," he said, smirking. "I could have told you that was a waste of time."

"James, if you're not here to talk about work I'd appreciate it if you left." I kept my tone even. I knew he was full of crap anyway. He had avoided me like the plague while HR was investigating. At the very least, my report had made him nervous.

"But this _is_ about work," he sneered quietly, not moving from his spot. "I've worked hard to get where I am, Swan. I didn't do it so that some little nobody girl-child could tear me down because she couldn't take a little heat."

I turned around, eyes flashing. "Don't speak to me like that."

"Like what?" He looked amused. "I'm just stating the obvious. You bailed yourself out of that ridiculous scene with Cleary last week by tattling on me. And for what? A slap on the wrist and an HR runaround that didn't solve anything and alienated you from the rest of newsroom even further?"

When I didn't respond, he took a step into my cube and leaned down, getting close to my face. "You want to know what I think? You don't have the chops for this job. You won't last six months. And _when_ you give up, I'll be right there, ready to take your job."

"Don't hold your breath," I retorted. "Now, if you don't have anything else, I've got actual work to do."

I turned away and went back to my computer, not sparing him another glance. After a few seconds I heard him leave, and I leaned back into my chair for a second, savoring a semi-victory. I didn't think he had said or done anything particularly reportable, but I had made it through the entire encounter without losing my cool or getting defensive. Progress.

When I finally left work that day, I was exhausted. It had been a long week, and I knew I wasn't quite done yet. I still had to deal with the Alice situation. I was tired just thinking about it.

When I called her, she answered immediately.

"Bella?" She sounded a little breathless.

"Hi, Alice," I sighed. "You out of work yet?"

"Just packing up. Are you hungry? I'm starving, maybe we could go out and grab something, it doesn't have to be a big deal or anything I just thought it would be nice to—"

"Alice," I stopped her before she could keep blabbing. Her nervous talking was kind of funny, but mostly I just wanted to skip the awkward part and just deal with things. "We can grab dinner. That's fine. What do you feel like?"

We agreed to meet at the sushi place Alice loved. It was a short walk from my office, and I let the icy air calm me down. I was oddly excited to see Alice. We had gone from spending most of our lunch hours together, plus regular time outside the work day, to almost no contact at all. I missed her.

I got there before she did, but minutes later she rushed in the door looking frazzled. Her normally perfect hair was sticking up at odd angles and her eyes were a little wild.

"Hey," I greeted her as she skidded to a stop in front of me. "It's not too crowded, I think we should be able to get a table quickly."

Dropping a huge black shoulder bag, she let out a huge sigh. "Oh good. My feet are killing me."

I glanced down at her high, red spike heels. She was more dressed up than I had ever seen her for work. "I'm not surprised. Look at the death traps you're wearing."

She gave me a wan smile and shrugged. The hostess returned then and led us to a table, where we both ordered something to drink and shed our coats.

"So, what's the occasion?" I asked. She looked at me questioningly and I waved a hand at her outfit: a sharp looking black suit and a blood red silk blouse.

"Oh this?" She laughed, then nervously spread a napkin on her lap. "Um... I kind of got a promotion. It's not a huge jump, but it's a step up from what I was doing and I get to officially take the lead spot on that account I was working on. It's a lot more meetings with the higher ups, so I have to start dressing like a real PR person now."

"Alice! That's great!" For a second I forgot why we were meeting and reached out to squeeze her hand. "I'm so proud of you."

She beamed. "Thanks, Bella. That means a lot."

We smiled at each other for a few seconds, then I let go of her hand and leaned back with a sigh.

"I missed you." I said it quietly, just loud enough so that I was sure she heard me.

"I missed you, too," she said immediately. "I swear I didn't mean for things to happen the way they did. I tend to speak first and think later. Kind of ironic when you think about the kind of work I do."

I snorted. "I know you didn't mean for things with Edward and me to blow up. But you _did_ mean to call the two of us and yell about not being in the loop. And that's not... Alice, it wasn't any of your business. And why the hell would you leave a voicemail about something like that? Seriously, were you thinking at all?"

I was trying to stay calm, because I really didn't want this to turn into an argument and in the end, I wanted to get back to a place where we could be friends again, but just thinking about it made me angry. She frowned and stared down at her lap.

"It was just such a huge shock. I thought maybe Jessica was lying at first, because Edward would never lie about something like that, and I knew you'd tell me the truth. But then I started thinking about the conversations we'd had about it, and things started to add up. I wasn't thinking," she said again. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

Before I could answer, my phone rang, trumpets blaring from my purse. I pulled it out and saw Edward's name scrolling across my screen.

"I'm sorry, Alice, I'm just going to take this really quick. If the waitress comes back can you order me a New York roll and a spicy tuna?"

She nodded and I walked quickly toward the entrance.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella." I could hear the smile in his voice, and it made me smile too. "I was just calling about tomorrow night."

"Oh, crap, I forgot. Listen, can I call you back?"

"Why, are you out on a hot date?" He sounded like he was teasing, but there was a slight edge to his tone.

"Not even close," I laughed. "I'm actually out to dinner... with Alice."

"Oh."

"Don't _oh_ me," I said. "I've decided that I want to talk to her and make things right again. Whatever you do is your own business."

Silence. I sighed.

"I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay. Later."

When I got back to the table, Alice was watching me with a pensive look on her face.

"Who was that?"

"Edward."

She nodded and pressed her lips together. "Do you... are you guys talking a lot, then?"

I shrugged noncommittally. "We're talking. He was calling about some plans we have tomorrow night."

The waitress came with our food then, and we ate in silence for a while. Alice pushed her plate out of her way and cleared her throat.

"What's it going to take to make this better? I miss you. _We_ miss you, and things aren't the same without you and Edward around. I'm so glad that you guys are spending time together and working through things. I want my family back."

"I don't think there's a silver bullet," I answered. "Just... just think before you speak. Understand that if I want your opinion about something I will definitely ask you for it, and that you can't control everything."

She flinched, but nodded. "I deserve that. I honestly didn't think I was being controlling, though. I don't know, Edward used to tell me everything. And then he started dating Lauren, and you know how that went. I was sure that with the two of you together, things would go back to the way they were..." She trailed off, shaking her head.

"Things are different now, but that's not a bad thing," I said softly. "It'll take a little adjusting, that's all."

"But he's not talking to me," she said. "He won't answer my phone calls. Emmett says I'm being pushy and I should just wait, and Jasper is getting sick of listening to me talk about it. He keeps telling me to be patient and that everything will turn out fine. He and his brother were never really close though. They see each other once or twice a year and call each other a couple more times. He doesn't really understand."

I sighed and tugged at the ends of my hair. "Edward just wants to be able to live his own life, Alice. He was hurt by this whole thing too. I can't speak for him, but I think Emmett and Jasper have the right idea. He loves you guys. He'll come around."

"Thanks, Bella." She drew absent minded soy sauce designs on her plate with her chopsticks. "And thanks for calling."

"Sure thing," I said, smiling at her. She gave me a crooked smile that was reminiscent of Edward and leaned back in her chair.

"So you two have plans tomorrow, huh?" She was clearly trying to keep her voice light and casual, but I could detect more than a trace of excitement.

"Alice..." I said warningly.

"Hey, that's great," she said quickly. "I'm glad you have plans. You should have plans. I was just wondering, you know... if that meant you're together again, or what? You don't have to tell me," she hurried to add at the look on my face.

"I don't know," I said slowly. I had already decided that it wouldn't hurt to talk to Alice about things with Edward, at least in vague terms. Despite her more than annoying need to know everything, she was a good friend and often gave decent advice. "We're taking things slow. We had dinner the other night and talked about it a little bit. I don't want to get serious too quickly. I told him maybe we should see other people for a while."

Her face fell. "Do you _want _to see other people?"

I picked at my napkin. "I don't know."

"What did he say?"

"That he didn't want to, but if I did he wouldn't stop me."

She nodded and gave me a tiny smile. "I know this isn't a great situation, but even before he broke with Lauren there was something different about the way he was with you. Just... think about what it is you really want, okay? For both of you."

*****

It turned out that the bar Emmett and Rosalie wanted to go to wasn't far from my apartment, so the two of them and Edward were going to meet at my place and we planned to walk over together. Edward said there was dancing, and Rosalie texted me around lunch time to tell make sure I was dressing up. It felt a little bit like old times, except that Alice wasn't puttering around my apartment pulling out clothes and insisting on doing my hair. I felt a little guilty about not telling her what exactly Edward and I were doing, and for not inviting her along, but I didn't think Edward was ready for that. He didn't interfere with my attempts to make things right with her; I wasn't going to tell him that he had to hang out and play nice if he didn't want to.

The mid-January wind whistled loudly, rattling my windows, and I wasn't looking forward to venturing out into the cold. I took comfort in the fact that the bar would probably be too hot and it was only a few blocks from where I lived. Still, I pulled on a thick pair of tights and layered a tailored jacket over my silky top. I was just snapping a hair band over my wrist and stepping into a pair of boots when there was a knock on the door.

Emmett and Rosalie stood, arms around each other's waists, cheeks glowing pink, on my doorstep.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett said with a grin, walking forward and squeezing my shoulders. "Is Edward here yet?"

"No, I thought he was coming with you."

"Nope, we drove straight here."

"Parking on your street still sucks," Rosalie said dryly. "I feel like I take my life in my hands every time I try to parallel park around here."

Emmett snorted. "You take your life in your hands every time you try to parallel park period." She swatted his arm, but he just smiled down at her. "But I love you, crappy parking skills and all."

"My hero," she sighed. "Can we come in for a minute? I'm sure Edward will be here any second."

"Yeah, of course," I said, stepping out of the way. "Come on in."

Emmett looked around my tiny living room with interest. "I've never been in here before. It's homey."

"Thanks," I said, shifting awkwardly. "It's not much, but there's enough room for me and my stuff, and it's comfortable. I like it."

He nodded and continued to looking around.

"Is everything okay?" Rose asked quietly, raising an eyebrow at me. "I really don't want to run interference all night."

"Everything's just fine," I said. Before I could say anything else, there was another knock at the door.

Edward grinned at me when I opened the door. He looked... well, I'm not going to lie. He looked damn good. I was pretty sure he knew it. He wasn't even wearing an ugly tie. "You ready to go? I saw Rose and Emmett's car out front."

The four of us walked quickly through the dark streets, Emmett filling the silence with chatter about the place we were going and how excited he was to be going out.

"And I hear they play great music," Rosalie added, grinning sideways at me. "Dancing, Bella. Aren't you excited?"

I rolled my eyes. At our girls' night way back when, I had confessed that I had absolutely no rhythm. A girlfriend in college had attempted to teach me how to salsa dance once. Our lesson ended with my friend flat on her back on the floor, suffocating on her laughter. The phrase "drunk penguin" was bandied around. I considered myself scarred for life and hung up my dancing shoes after that. I could move my hips with the beat, and did so when forced, but I wasn't planning on getting jiggy with anything tonight.

"Har har," I said darkly. Edward looked at me curiously.

"What's funny? You danced with me at New Year's, I thought you were fine."

"No," I said firmly. "I don't dance."

"Everyone dances," he said coaxingly, nudging me a little with his shoulder.

"I don't."

"Want to bet? I got you to do it once."

Emmett and Rosalie were watching our exchange with obvious amusement. I huffed and crossed my arms, looking for all the world like a stubborn little girl. "You can't make me."

Edward laughed and winked. "I say again, want to bet?"

"After the darts fiasco, I'm never making a bet with you again."

We reached the bar, and Edward pulled the door open. I followed Emmett and Rosalie past him, and as he brought up the rear, he whispered in my ear, "That's probably a good idea. I aim to win."

I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold. I allowed myself a tiny smile. He was doing exactly what he promised to: proving to me that he meant what he said. That he wanted me.

We got a round of beer and made our way to a tall table against the wall. Because it was Saturday, the place was completely packed. We were lucky to find a table, and even then we stood shoulder to shoulder while we drank our beers. Emmett and Rose finished theirs quickly and went out to dance, leaving Edward and I to guard our spot.

Edward's lips were moving but I couldn't hear him over the pulsing beat of the music.

"What?" I yelled.

"How was dinner with Alice?" He spoke slowly and loudly, directly into my ear.

"It was good," I answered, turning my head so my mouth was almost touching his ear. He leaned into me. "I think we came to an understanding. She misses you."

He nodded, but didn't say anything back. He tilted his glass back, taking the rest of his beer in one, long gulp. The lights flickered strangely on his pale skin, but I couldn't look away from the long lines of his throat as he swallowed. I was semi-mesmerized, which is why it took me a few seconds to react to him grabbing my hand and pulling me out through the crowd toward the spot where Emmett and Rosalie were dancing wrapped around each other.

"Edward," I called. He kept walking, probably because he couldn't hear me. I tugged on his hand and he glanced back. "Edward, stop. I can't dance."

He pulled me a couple more feet and grabbed my hips, tugging me close to him.

"Anyone can dance, Bella," he said in my ear. I could feel his lips brushing over the shell of my ear. "Besides, if you don't dance, what are you going to do all night? Stand at the table and watch everybody else have fun?"

He started moving his hips back and forth, moving about half the speed of the music.

"Yes?" I said weakly. He shook his head and kept moving, leaning back to speak in my ear again.

"That's boring. And you may be a lot of things, but you're not boring. Dance with me."

I sighed exaggeratedly but couldn't quite contain my smile. He saw it and smiled back.

The music changed and the beat picked up, and Edward started moving faster. He laughed and spun me out so that I bumped into the people around us. I glared at him but kept dancing.

After a couple of songs, I kind of got the hang of it. Edward occasionally hip checked me or spun me sideways, but we were goofing off and having a good time. I hadn't really danced since my days of dirty college parties and I remembered being a far better dancer when I was drunk.

"I'm getting another drink," I called to Edward. He shook his head and indicated I should stay put. I nodded and watched him push through to the bar. While I was watching him, someone came up behind me and grabbed my hips, pulling me back into a slightly sweaty t-shirt.

"Hey, baby." The guy behind me was talking in my ear in a loud, drunk tone. "You having fun tonight?"

I moved with him, mostly because he was bigger than me and I was surprised. Craning my neck around, I looked up into the face of a decent looking blonde guy, grinning sloppily down at me. I smiled a little and pulled away, but he followed, interpreting the slight smile on my face as a positive reaction to his advances.

He hooked his hand around my side and pulled me so we were chest to chest. He was staring down at me, directly at my boobs. I sighed a little, but kept dancing. I wasn't feeling creeped on or threatened, but without Edward, dancing just didn't appeal to me as much. By the time the song ended, he still hadn't returned and I was starting to get annoyed with big, blonde and drunk. I pulled far enough away from him enough to stand on my tiptoes and look over the heads of the people around me. Finally I spotted him, standing at a different table on the edge of the dance floor, two beers in front of him. I walked away from my dance partner without a second glance.

When I got to the table, I reached out for one of the beers and punched his arm lightly.

"What are you doing over here? Just watching people dance? That's boring," I teased. "You're many things, but you're not boring."

He laughed and took a drink. "It's hot out there, and you were having fun with that guy." He waved a hand vaguely toward where I had been dancing.

"You didn't come back because that guy was molesting me?" I rolled my eyes. "Please."

He narrowed his eyes at me a little. "Look, I'm just trying to give you what you want. You said you wanted to see other people, I was letting you go for it. I want you to be happy." His eyebrows relaxed at the end of his spiel, and he shrugged. I took a drink and looked away.

"I would have been happier if you came back," I said, not raising my voice. When I looked back at him, both his eyebrows were raised in confusion.

"What?" He cupped a hand to his ear. It was the perfect opportunity to shrug or cover up what I had said, but instead I squared my shoulders and leaned back toward his ear, raising my voice.

"I would have been happier if you came back."

His eyes got a little wider and he smiled broadly. "Are you done dancing for tonight?"

I nodded.

"Stay here, I'm going to tell Rose and Em we're heading out."

I watched him as he moved through the dancers to Emmett. I saw them gesturing and then Emmett looked over at me. He winked and clapped Edward on the back before waving in my direction. I nodded and smiled, not quite sure what had just been communicated but deciding to go with it.

Outside, the temperature had dropped. My teeth started chattering and I shivered uncontrollably, hunching my shoulders and tensing my neck. Edward pulled a long, soft scarf from his jacket sleeve and wrapped it around my neck and mouth. I looked up with surprise.

"You need it more than I do," he said softly. "We're not far from your place."

I smiled, but since he couldn't see it through the thick yarn I crinkled my eyes at him and looped my arm through his. He sighed contentedly and pulled me into his side, adjusting us so that his arm was around my shoulders. We were complementary heights, the top of my head just reaching the tops of his shoulders.

When we got to my apartment, I was reluctant to say goodbye.

"Do you want a cup of hot chocolate or tea or something?" I asked, toying with my keys. Now that we were alone, the atmosphere seemed charged again, although at least it wasn't awkward like it had been every time since our fight.

"Tea is fine," he said, never taking his eyes from my face. I unlocked the door and he followed me in. I tossed my coat over the couch and went to the kitchen, pulling out mugs and tea bags. Edward followed after me, sitting down at my kitchen table. I was very aware of him as I moved around the small space.

"Do you want sugar?"

"Just a little bit."

After the loud, crashing music in the bar and the normal sounds of traffic on the streets, my apartment seemed practically silent; the gentle hum of the refrigerator provided the only backdrop for my nervous clanking with mugs, spoons, and containers. It was only eleven, and I felt a little lame for wanting to leave so early in the night. We had only made it about two hours at the bar.

Eventually, I had two steaming mugs and there was nothing to do but sit down. I cleared my throat and pulled out the chair across from Edward, collapsing into it and immediately starting to jiggle my leg anxiously.

"Did you have fun?" Edward was watching me fidget with an odd look on his face.

"Yeah, it was a good time. I haven't really gone out here before."

He nodded. "I don't go out much, it's not really my scene. But I had fun tonight."

I smiled and took a sip of tea, burning the tip of my tongue. I made a face and bit down, trying to battle the stinging, fuzzy sensation that comes with drinking something too hot. Edward picked that moment to get serious.

"Bella? I need to ask you something."

My eyes were watering, but I nodded and pushed my mug away. He hadn't touched his tea, but he was wrapping the string from his teabag around the handle of his mug compulsively.

"Do you really want to see other people?"

He wasn't looking at me anymore, rather staring resolutely down into his mug. Instead of letting my reflex reaction kick in with a glib "no way" or "of course," I sat quietly for a second and really thought about it.

Granted, the guy who had tried to dance with me at the bar was a stranger, and it wasn't the most romantic atmosphere. But I hated dancing, and I had stayed out on the floor for at least an hour with Edward, just goofing around. Instead of barging in and going caveman overprotective on me, he had gone back to find a table and let me have my space. My dating experiences in Chicago hadn't been stellar, and no one had made me feel like he did since college. He was trying so hard. I knew the answer to his question. Honestly, there _was _no question, and I had been silly to think there was.

"No," I said softly.

He looked up from his mug with a small, crooked smile. "Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

He reached across the table for my hand and rubbed his thumb across my knuckles.

"You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that."

I smiled at him and squeezed his fingers. "Right answer, then?"

He grinned. "Definitely."

We stared at each other for a minute and then, like the old lady I was apparently becoming, I yawned. He laughed. "Bed time?"

I blushed. "I guess so. It's been a long week."

"I understand," he said, letting go of my hand and standing up. "I'll get out of your hair."

I followed him to my front door and watched as he bundled up for the cold, wrapping his scarf around his neck about five times before tucking it down into his coat.

I opened the door and he stepped into the hallway, still smiling slightly.

"Goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight." He turned and walked down the hall and I shut the door behind me, letting out a long sigh.

Seconds later, there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find Edward standing on my doormat.

"I forgot something," he said.

I looked back into my apartment. I couldn't see anything that looked like it belonged to him, and he was wearing his hat, gloves, scarf, and boots.

"What'd you forget?"

"This."

He took my hand and pulled me forward gently. Raising his other hand to my face, he lowered his lips to mine and kissed me, once. It was sweet and unexpected, and it didn't last very long. He let go and took a step back.

"Goodnight, Bella."

This time, I watched until he disappeared down the stairs.

* * *

**Hey guys! Thanks for being patient with the update. Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, alerted, or rec'ed the story after the last update. I know I was really terrible with review replies, but I decided you'd rather have an update, and I only really had time to do one :)**

**Thanks to Daisy3853 and spanglemaker for being so great and holding my hand through this one. Daisy has a Jasper/Bella oneshot called "Underexposed" that is just wonderful, and if you haven't heard of the fabulous "Faking It" by spanglemaker, you may have been living under a rock. ;) Go read both of them. **

**Okay, so a couple of big announcements. **

**1. I won't be updating for a few weeks. I have finals in three weeks, and fanfiction, while super fun, is also a big distraction, so I'm being a good girl and putting this story away for a little while. I will be back just as soon as finals finish in December, but I just wanted to let you guys know so that you don't think I'm abandoning you. For those of you who read Girl with a Red Umbrella, that story will not be affected because we've got a nice backlog of chapters built up.**

**2. The Fandom Gives Back Auction is next week, and I'm up for bid! I've donated an EPOV one shot from Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry, minimum 3,000 words and deliverable by January 1, 2010. You can pick absolutely any part of the story so far and have me tell it from EPOV. No limits, except that it has to have happened already. All the money raised goes to an awesome charity called Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation that funds cancer research. My auction can be found here: **

**http://thefandomgivesback(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgi?board=fic&action=display&thread=46**

**Bidding runs from Nov. 15-20, and the highest bidder wins. If you don't want to bid on me, I still recommend you check out the auction. Lots of authors have donated their work, plus there's a ton of other stuff that's available on a first-come-first serve basis or auction style. Thanks in advance for anything you're able to do. **

**Now... tell me what you think :)  
**


	25. Exposure

"I like what you've put together, Bella. Good work."

"Thank you. I'm really excited about the possibilities."

Chuck led me to his door, holding my spreadsheet in his hands. He flipped through the pages, shaking his head a little, probably at my compulsive color coding. "I have to say, your dedication is really impressive. I think the people up top are going to be really happy with these ideas. Start talking to the guys today, get things rolling."

He handed me back the packet. "And send me a copy of this."

"You got it," I said, giving him a small salute. I smirked at James, who was standing a little ways off, glaring at the two of us. He scowled a little bit more before pushing off the wall he was leaning against and walking toward Chuck's office.

"Can we talk?" he said tersely. Chuck shrugged and jerked his head back toward his door.

"Come on back."

I ignored the exchange and went back to my desk, genuinely excited about my job for the first time in many weeks. When I got to my desk, I smiled at the bright tulips that were still next to my desktop. They were a little wilted now, but I was hesitant to throw them out, especially in light of the weekend. Edward's kiss lingered on my lips all day Sunday and was still on my mind on Monday.

I knew I needed to take things slowly with Edward, for both our sakes. Slow, however, was hard to focus on when I remembered how it was before everything blew up: those few, sacred days where it seemed like Edward's lips were almost constantly attached to mine. There was no denying there was a very basic chemistry between us.

The sound of my phone ringing interrupted my thoughts. I glanced down: Alice. It was like she sensed my dirty thoughts about her brother and needed to discuss them ASAP.

"Hello?"

"Hey! I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

I laughed. "I wouldn't have answered if I was in the middle of something. What's up?"

"Well," she began, then paused. I could almost see her steeling herself. "I know it's a bit early yet... but I was wondering if you were planning on getting together with us this week. You know. On Thursday."

I had put a lot of thought into that very question on Sunday, so Alice's question didn't really catch me off guard. "Actually, I was going to ask you about that. Is there any way we could get together at my place this week?"

"That would be so great! I'm sure Emmett and Rosalie would be okay with that. Do you need help with baby-proofing the apartment?"

"Um..."

"Just because Avery isn't walking or crawling yet doesn't mean you don't have to be careful! I'll come over and help if you want."

"Thanks, that would be really helpful. I guess I didn't think about that."

"Okay, great. I'm sorry, Bella, I'm actually getting into a cab right now. Why don't I come over after work tomorrow and we'll get everything squared away?"

"Definitely. I'll see you then."

The idea to have family night at my place was a carefully calculated risk. I hoped that I could convince Edward to come, to mend some fences, to _talk_ to Alice a little. He was still so angry, and while I understood the need to take some time and think about things, she was also his sister. It wasn't right that they weren't speaking at all. I didn't have any brothers or sisters, and I missed that connection growing up. Edward had worked hard to get his relationship with his family back, and I didn't like that this thing with me had caused another rift so quickly.

With that in mind, I called him over on Monday night. He arrived at my apartment with a bottle of wine and a cheesecake.

"What's the occasion?" I asked, taking the cheesecake. He grinned and shrugged.

"Does there need to be an occasion? I was under the impression that women always appreciated a little cheesecake. And the wine... well, that's because it's a Monday."

"Fair enough," I laughed. "Come on in."

He kicked off his shoes and followed me into the kitchen, plucking my wine key from the utility drawer and deftly opened the bottle. "Glasses?"

"Right cabinet, top shelf. Is there any reason that this Monday called for red wine?"

"Well, we're prepping for our concert next month, and I have to pick the kids to play in the pit for the musical. Rehearsals for that are going to suck up a ton of time, which is fun but totally draining. I really love my students, but I hate the auditioning process. I hate telling kids no, so I usually end up with more than I need."

He scrubbed his face with his hands before pouring two glasses nearly to the brim. I picked up two plates of cheesecake with forks and walked back to the living room.

"I never would have figured you for a guy who can't say no. I may have to use that to my advantage."

He followed me and set the wine down on the coffee table. "For the record, you'd never be taking advantage."

I flushed, and tried to cover it with a drink of wine from the glass closest to me. "Okay. Well."

He laughed. "You don't have to be embarrassed about it." He leaned in and kissed me on my jaw, just next to my mouth.

"I'm not embarrassed!" I protested.

He cocked an eyebrow and scooped up a piece of cheesecake with his fork. I watched as he closed his lips around it, watched his tongue come out and lick traces of chocolate off his lips.

"How was your day?" he asked abruptly, leaning back and getting comfortable. I took another drink of wine to clear my head.

"I talked to Alice today." His face tightened a little, but otherwise he made no response. "I'm going to host family night this week. She's coming over tomorrow to help me baby proof."

"Hmm," he murmured, loading up another forkful of cheesecake. Maybe he thought if he kept his mouth full he wouldn't have to have the conversation with me.

"Have you talked to her at all?"

"No," he sighed, setting the plate down. He looped an arm around my shoulders and set his cheek down on the top of my head. "And I don't want to."

"But...?"

"No buts," he grumbled.

We sat quietly for a few minutes, me sipping wine, Edward taking slow, measured breaths into my hair.

"But she's my sister," he murmured eventually. "And I miss her, no matter how angry I am with her."

"Talk to her," I urged. "I know you're mad. Believe me, I get it. Let her say she's sorry. Start working past this thing."

"This thing," he scoffed.

"Yes. This _thing_."

He wrapped his other arm around me, and I leaned forward to set my wine down before turning into his chest. His heartbeat quickened slightly, and I inhaled the smell of his cologne and soap.

He smelled _so good_. I cuddled into him, his arms tightening around me. I felt him leave little kisses on the top of my head. His lips pressed lightly to my hair, then slowly down the side of my head. I shivered and tilted my head to the side, allowing his lips to travel down past my ear, past the tiny hairs at the nape of my neck.

He stopped at the crook of my neck, breathing heavier than normal, his mouth slightly open. I felt heated, flushed.

"Bella?"

I tilted my head a little further, enjoying the soft vibrations of his voice against my neck. His lips closed around a patch of skin and his tongue flicked out.

"I really don't want to talk about my sister right now."

I couldn't really control the embarrassing whimpering noise that escaped my chest. Edward laughed and pulled away, reaching for his wine. I gasped, trying to reconcile myself to the sudden absence of body heat. I reached for my glass as well, taking a big swallow to calm my nerves. All it did was add to the heat that was flooding my body.

"So, do you think you'll come Thursday?"

"I'll think about it," he said. He took one more bite of cheesecake, dropped the fork with a clatter, and pulled me back into his arms. He lay down against the armrest of the couch, supporting me with his chest, his hands at the bare skin on my waist.

I stretched upwards, kissing first his chin, then his bottom lip. His lips parted, and I could smell chocolate and wine. Carefully, I pulled his lip into my mouth. He sighed pulled me up, mouths colliding, legs twisting together. The slow, leisurely feeling evaporated, replaced with a frantic edge as we pressed together.

I half climbed, half slid up his chest, scrambling to get as close to him as I could. My shirt rode up and Edward's hands danced up my spine. The cool air raised goose bumps on my skin; or maybe it was his touch. He dropped kisses all over my face, my cheeks, my jaw line, my forehead, the tip of my nose. I hooked both of my arms through his, crossing them behind his back so our chests were flush.

A tingling, burning feeling consumed me, centering in a tight knot. I circled my hips against him, groaning when the tingling intensified. Edward's hands left my back and landed on my butt, pushing me into him as his hips jerked up. This time we both moaned. The sound made me even hotter.

Our mouths were connected, gasping, not kissing but not quite _not_ kissing. I opened my eyes and found him staring at me, green eyes focused on my face as he took noisy, uneven breaths. I pulled my arms out from around him and ran them up his sides, stopping briefly at his shoulders as we ground together again.

Gently, I cupped his face in my hands, focusing on the slow, rhythmic movement of our bodies and the rough, scratchy feeling of his cheeks. I didn't close my eyes, and I didn't pull away. I just allowed myself to feel, to really _feel_ Edward.

His heart pounded almost audibly against my chest, joining my own galloping pulse; I could have sworn I could hear the two sounds overlapping and intermingling. I could feel the muscles of his arms where they rested against my sides, and the strong lines of his legs where they lay entwined with my own. Despite the fact that we were both fully clothed, our bodies responded, desperate to connect, to create friction, to be whole.

But these sensations were almost secondary to what I felt when I looked at him. It was impossible to look away. His eyes burned, pleaded, loved, and worshiped. It was overwhelming, but not in a way that made me want to run away. I hoped he saw something similar in my eyes. It made me want to hold on tighter—and so that's what I did.

Faster and faster, forgetting the rough denim between us and the layers of cotton. I was coiled tightly like the spring of a trap.

"Yes, Edward, yes," I whispered, barely audible over my panting. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips tightly to mine, letting his tongue sweep over my bottom lip before sliding it into my mouth. That was all it took. My eyes squeezed shut and white stars exploded behind my lids, a sudden burst of tension and then waves of pleasure. Hard and fast at first, then ebbing slowly as our bodies relaxed and shuddered to a stop.

I went limp, and for the first time I noticed the light layer of sweat that coated our faces and arms. My cheek stuck to the skin on his neck, making me giggle a little and try to pull away. Edward made a low, growling noise in his chest and squeezed me tighter, effectively immobilizing me.

"Don't you dare move."

"I don't know if I could."

His chest shook with silent laughter.

"Yeah, laugh it up. You're not the one who may have just lost major motor functions from an orgasm."

Feather light touches drew random patterns up my spine.

"That good, huh?"

"Mmmmmmm," I hummed, letting myself slide down a little and settle into his arms. "You have no idea."

Then he rolled a little in my arms and I realized he really _didn't_ have any idea. I rested my hand on top of the visible bulge, smiling as he squirmed a little.

"Bella," he murmured, a hint of warning in his tone.

"Suddenly I'm not feeling so paralyzed," I teased, letting my fingers tease the soft skin under the elastic band of his boxer briefs, while my other hand unbuttoned his jeans. His hips twisted as I slipped my whole hand underneath, wrapping it around him and taking a few strong strokes.

His mouth dropped open and he grunted a little, his eyes fluttering shut. "Oh, God."

"You don't have to call me God," I whispered in his ear, letting my palm slide over his tip and twisting my wrist a little. "But I like it." I sucked his earlobe into my mouth and bit down gently.

A few quick strokes—up, around, over, and down—and he was gasping, shuddering, falling to pieces in my hand.

"Wow," he breathed. "You're incredible."

I laughed a little and fell into the curve his arm created. "And you are sticky."

He shrugged. "I'll take sticky pants over blue balls any day."

"You are such a man."

"100 percent, baby," he growled.

"If you liked what just happened, you'll never call me baby again."

"Darling? Honey? Sweetheart? Pumpkin? How am I doing?"

"Now you're just being ridiculous."

"It's possible," he laughed, kissing the top of my head.

"Ridiculous is good."

He hummed happily and tucked me underneath his chin, still holding me tightly. I felt warm, comfortable, and safe. My eyelids felt heavy, so I closed them, breathing in his cologne and sagging into his chest. A yawn bubbled up in my throat and pushed out. I muffled it in Edward's chest and he laughed.

"You look like you could use a nap," he murmured, running his fingers through my hair.

"Maybe." I yawned again.

The low thrum of his heartbeat and the rumble of his humming was soothing, like a lullaby.

"Just a few minutes," I mumbled.

His laugh was the last thing I remembered hearing before I drifted off.

I awoke to Edward rubbing his hands up and down my back.

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty," he whispered. "I have to go home."

"Stay," I protested, fisting his shirt and rubbing my face against his chest.

"Can I take a rain check?" he asked, a smile in his voice. "I have some things I have to take care of tonight."

"What could possibly be more important?" I teased, sighing dramatically and sitting up.

"I thought I'd call Alice," he said softly.

I rubbed my eyes quickly and looked over at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. The least I can do is hear her out."

"I think that's a very mature decision."

He snorted and gave me a wry smile. "Right, well hopefully it's not also a very stupid decision."

I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm proud of you."

That night I half expected to hear from one of them, either Alice calling in breathless excitement about reconciliation with Edward, or Edward calling to vent. My phone, however, remained silent. Nor did I hear from them the next day. I knew it wasn't really my business, but I still worried a little that Alice didn't at least call to confirm our baby-proofing plans.

James was acting odd, strutting around the office one minute and scowling at me the next. I ignored him for the most part, instead focusing on setting up meetings with the writers involved in my projects and a bunch of smaller projects that had fallen to the wayside.

Alice was waiting at my door when I got to my building, smiling and waving cheerily.

"You're looking mighty cheerful," I said, unlocking the door and leading her through the lobby.

"Well, it's a good day. What are your plans for Thursday? Do you need me to bring anything?"

I laughed a little as we made our way into my apartment. "That's a lot of questions. One step at a time, please? How exactly does one baby-proof?"

She laughed and launched into a flurry of activity, straightening, picking things up, and sticking little plastic plugs into all of my outlets. I still wasn't sure why we needed to do so much "proofing" for a child who would probably be contained inside a pack 'n play the entire night, but she was enthusiastic and bubbly and I let her sweep me up with her energy. It was something I had almost forgotten I loved about her.

Once we had finished essentially tidying up my apartment, I cooked us dinner and Alice told me more about her promotion. I was putting chicken and vegetables onto plates when she finally brought Edward up.

"He called me yesterday. Did you... was it because of you?"

"Nope." I slid the plate across the table. "Everything okay?"

"We talked, he didn't seem as completely furious anymore. He said he'd come on Thursday. It wasn't like old times or anything... but we talked."

"I told you to give him some time," I said with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled. "All of you are very clever. I don't suppose you could tell me how to get him to forgive me and start actually talking to me again?"

"Keep giving him time," I laughed. "Let it happen. Let him be mad for as long as he needs to be and let your relationship get back on track naturally. Stop pushing all the time. Relax."

She sighed loudly and toyed with her fork. "I know. You're right. I hate it when you're right."

"Gee, thanks."

"You know what I mean." Her mouth twisted a little. "I'm really trying here. I don't want to badger anybody. It's hard for me."

"Well all you can do is try," I said. "And keep trying. Just...love your brother."

"Do _you_ love my brother?"

"Subtle. And none of your business."

"I know, I know." She waved her hands a little and pushed her plate away. "You know he loves you, right?"

"Alice!"

"Okay, okay. I'm shutting up."

"Thank you. Now, let's figure out what to do on Thursday. Help me plan."

The opportunity to plan something seemed to distract her. We decided to make sushi; Alice and Rose had taken a class together a couple years back and one of my roommates in college taught me how to make rolls, so between the three of us we figured we'd be able coach the guys through the process.

Rosalie and Emmett arrived first on Thursday, followed shortly by Edward. While Emmett wrestled with the pack 'n play, Rosalie and Edward and I started to cut up ingredients. I had called everyone to bring their favorite ingredients, and I had gotten plenty of nori and cooked up the sticky rice before they arrived.

"I don't know that Emmett should be allowed anywhere near the sticky rice," Rosalie joked, slicing a cucumber. "Especially with Edward around. They'll coat the walls in no time."

"Please, we're way past the food fight phase," Edward scoffed. He tossed a small piece of avocado across the counter, which she caught.

"Yes, I see that," she replied.

"Yoohoooo!" Alice called from the front room. "I come bearing tuna! And green tea ice cream."

"I love that stuff," Emmett said, throwing an arm around his sister.

"I brought sake," Jasper said, kicking the door shut behind him. "You got any beer? Sake bombs?"

I wrinkled my nose and looked over at Edward, who was trying to spread sticky rice over a sheet of nori and failing miserably. The wooden paddle was stuck to the nori, and the rice wouldn't spread. I giggled and he looked up at me and glared.

"Are you laughing at me? You're supposed to be helping me, you better not be laughing at me."

"I'm sorry, _baby_," I teased. I walked over to help him and then turned back to back to Jasper. "Beer is in the fridge, shot glasses on top."

"Isn't finger food supposed to be some kind of a turn on?" Emmett asked, reaching out for a piece of crab meat.

Rosalie laughed and swatted his hands away. "It's raw fish, Em, not chocolate covered strawberries."

"No, I think that's right," Alice said. She wrung her hands around a sushi mat, pressing her roll together. "Eating with your hands is sexual."

"Give me that," I sighed, pushing Edward's hands away. "You're making a mess. What kind do you want?"

He laughed and kissed my cheek. "Whatever you're having. I'm not picky. But I may want to use that rain check." He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Between Jasper's sake and the finger food, I don't know that I should leave tonight."

I felt my cheeks flush and let out a shaky breath. "That would be okay."

He winked and kissed right below my ear before snagging Jasper and heading back into the living room with their drinks. I heard the TV turn on and the sounds of college basketball filtering through. Emmett stayed with us in the kitchen until Rosalie kicked him out for craning his head around the corner too frequently to see the game.

"So, things look pretty good between you two," Rosalie said. She started to arrange pieces of nigiri on a plate that already had rolls on it. "You look... happy."

"I am happy." I started to set the table and grabbed some chopsticks from my silverware drawer. "Things are going well, I think."

Alice hummed a little and I laughed. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing." She smirked. "I just hope you have some kind of protection in this apartment or you're going to be making a late night run to the 7-Eleven."

"Alice!" I gasped. Rosalie snorted.

"Please, Bella. We've been watching the sexual tension between the two of you escalate for months. You're together, you're working things out." She shrugged. "Sometimes a roll in the hay helps clear the air."

"You can't fix everything with sex, Rose," I mumbled.

"I'm not saying it's a fix," she said. "I'm saying it would be good for you. For both of you."

"It's not like you don't want to," Alice smirked. "Wait, you do _want_ to, right?"

"Of course I want to!"

"Want to what?" Edward walked into the kitchen, followed by Jasper and Emmett, carrying Avery.

"Uh..."

"Start dinner," Rosalie said briskly. "So it's good you guys are here."

She took Avery from Emmett and left to feed him while the rest of us started dinner. Things were a little strained; Edward and Alice still weren't really directly interacting, but they were polite, and dinner was fun. I felt plugged in, like I was part of the family. Edward held my hand under the table the entire time, occasionally running our joined hands over my thigh or his.

When he let go and started to run his fingers up and down the curve of my hip and touching the inside of my arms, I started to squirm. Rosalie noticed, of course, and made a big show of yawning and stretching.

"Come on, Em, I'm exhausted. And you know how Avery gets fussy when we don't put him to bed on time."

Alice took the hint and started pulling at Jasper too, grabbing his keys and prodding him toward the door. Edward looked like he was having a hard time holding in his laughter, but he waited until everyone had said goodbye and left.

Once I had the door shut and locked, I turned to where he stood in the middle of the room. He smiled and reached out a hand. Once I took it, he pulled me into his chest.

"They seemed awfully anxious to leave us alone, don't you think?"

"I'm sure I don't know why," I laughed.

"Hmmmm." He hummed into my neck and kissed lightly on my pulse point. I shivered. "I'd love to show you."

I pulled away and looked up at him. He was smiling gently and staring straight into my eyes. Reaching my hands up to cradle his face, I nodded slightly and pulled him backwards until the backs of my knees hit the couch.

"Okay," I breathed. My knees wobbled a little when his hands circled my waist, pushing up my shirt.

"Don't sound so enthusiastic," he teased. Before I could answer him, he kissed me, pushing his hands up my back and pushing me back on the couch.

His lips were soft and urgent, and the lighthearted atmosphere vanished. I could feel his hands tracing my spine and stopping at the clasp of my bra.

He pulled away slightly. "Bella? Are you—"

I pushed up and kissed him back, letting my hands do a little wandering of their own. I tugged on the bottom of his t-shirt and he half sat up, letting me pull it up over his head. I got a quick glimpse of pale skin and slightly defined muscles before his hands pushed back under my shirt, the front this time.

His thumbs teased my nipples through my bra, and I gasped, my eyes flying open.

He kissed me gently, once on my lips and then on each cheek. "You're beautiful," he whispered, dropping his forehead down to meet mine. I exhaled shakily and he pulled my shirt off, tossing it over his shoulder where it landed near his own shirt.

"You're beautiful, too," I answered. He laughed and kissed down my neck, dragging his lips down the curve of my breast. He reached around for the clasp of my bra, and I arched my back, grinding into him a little on reflex.

He groaned then laughed. With my eyes still closed, I clutched at his upper arms and said, "I don't see anything funny about this."

"Come on," he said, kissing my stomach this time. My skin broke out in goose bumps. "This doesn't seem a little funny to you? First we dry hump on your couch and you give me the best five second hand job of my life." He paused to bite down gently on my hipbone and then kissed the spot. "Now we're making out topless on the same couch. I feel like one of our parents could walk in at any minute."

He kissed along the edge of my waistband and fumbled with the button for a second, pulling down the zipper slowly.

"I promise, the Chief works the nightshift," I whispered, twisting my fingers in his hair and tugging slightly.

"Bella," he breathed. "Look at me. Please."

I opened my eyes and found him staring at me again. Once I met his gaze, he slowly, deliberately, pulled each leg of my jeans down. Once they were off, he kissed my knees, then lifted one of my legs over his shoulder, making his way up the inside of my thigh with his lips and his tongue. I gasped when he stopped inches from the top, looking up at me with a devilish smirk.

"Well if you're sure the Chief won't be home, I don't see any harm in moving this to the bedroom."

I shook my head silently, and before I could process the movement, he was standing up, scooping me into his arms and walking toward my bedroom. He kissed me again, and this time I reached up for his hair and locked him in place as our tongues tangled.

He dropped me down on the bed and reached for his belt buckle.

"Stop," I said. He looked up at me uncertainly.

"We don't have to do this," he said. "We could just... I don't know, hang out."

"Shhhh." I sat up and reached for him. "Stop talking. Come here."

He fell to his knees on the edge of the bed and I crawled toward him, kneeling in front of him. I let my hands trace his chest and stomach muscles and he swallowed hard.

I loosened his belt slowly, and tugged his pants down to his knees, leaving the two of us in our underwear.

"I've been thinking about this for weeks," he whispered, falling forward on his hands. He crawled forward as I scooted back, settling himself between my legs with his weight resting softly on me. "The way you smell, the way you sound, the feel of your skin." He let his hands skate up my ribcage and squeezed my breasts slightly, then circled his fingertips around my nipples again.

"I've been thinking about it too," I admitted.

His lips closed on my earlobe, and I whimpered. "Thinking about my hands here?" he asked, pinching my right nipple. "Or here?" He ran his other hand up my leg and rubbed the outside of my panties.

"Yes," I gasped. My voice sounded breathy and high pitched, and I thought I saw him smirk a little.

"Yes?" His thumb circled the front of my panties and then pressed down on my most sensitive spot. I arched my back again, this time reaching down toward his boxer briefs. As his fingers made a second pass, I stroked upwards against his erection.

"Please, Edward," I whispered. I rotated my hips and he scooted up again, bringing his lips back to mine. "Please."

"Do you have—"

"Side drawer."

He reached over to my table and I pushed down my underwear, too lost in the heat to worry about modesty or shyness. Once I toed them off, I reached for Edward's, but he beat me to it. I watched breathlessly as he rolled the condom on and settled himself on top of me.

"Bella, I—"

I reached up and laced my fingers through his hair, kissing down his jaw to his lips.

"Please." I could barely hear myself, but he heard. Slowly, carefully, he pushed against me, filling me and making both of us moan.

"Look at me," he begged. "Don't hide from me."

He stroked my cheek lightly and started moving. The sensation alone made my eyes fly open, and once again I found myself surrounded by green. Under my hands, the muscles of his back rippled and flexed, while the movement of his hips stoked the fire in my veins.

"So green," I murmured, trailing my pointer finger over his eyebrow. I had always admired the color of his eyes, but now, up close, pupils dilated with passion, I could see every fleck, every discoloration. They weren't the pure emerald green that they appeared to be. Instead they were an amalgamation of gold and greens, at least three shades that I could see. Around his pupils, an ultra thin ring of blue added depth to the color, making them impossibly more soulful. You wouldn't ever see the blue unless you were this close, nose to nose with him and looking carefully. It made me feel like I was seeing right into the core of him, seeing things that he didn't let anyone else see.

A flutter of pleasure danced through me as Edward propped himself up, changing our position and allowing himself to go deeper and harder than before. The change pulled him away from me, but it was worth it, as the flutter changed to a wave, crashing against me and making me writhe and moan.

"Come here," he demanded, his voice rough and commanding through his need. "Sit up."

I reached my arms up and allowed him to lift me, still connected to him, into his lap.

"You were too far away." He wrapped my long hair around one hand while the other supported my back, giving me leverage to push against him and increase our pace.

"Keep going," I gasped, pumping my hips and letting my knees pick me up and slam me back down. "Edward, God, so close. Please."

"You say please an awful lot," he laughed, doing it nevertheless. The change in speed and position was too much. The wave became a battering ram, and I was shuddering and crashing down into his chest, all the strength sapped from my body in the aftermath. He let me fall limply to the bed, shifting again so that he hovered over me, never pulling away, never disconnecting our bond.

"Stay with me," he begged, now pounding into my body with an edge of desperation.

"I'm here," I whimpered, holding onto his forearms and arching my back as another orgasm surged through me.

He started making incoherent sounds, babbling nonsense words interspersed with throaty moans and my name. He sped up, impossibly, and then his face was twisting into an expression of bliss and relief, and he collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily.

The sweat on our bodies fused us together, and neither one of us moved as our heartbeats slowed.

Slowly, carefully, Edward rolled off of me. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got up to get rid of the condom, coming back immediately to wrap me in his arms and press sweet kisses to my forehead.

"Was that okay for you?"

I laughed. "Did you really just ask me that?"

His chest shook a little and he shifted me a little so he could look into my face. "Too cliché?"

I shrugged, or attempted to shrug despite the death grip Edward had on my upper body. "It was more than okay. I don't know that they've made a word for it yet."

He let out a gust of air and rolled onto his side, kissing me deeply while caressing my side. The pads of his fingers were rough, but soft somehow, like velvet.

"I don't want you to regret anything. I care about you, Bella."

I looked up at him and saw the words he was holding back. Alice's question surged back into my mind. _Do you love my brother?_

Did I? He had exposed himself, shown me the ugliest parts of himself and then told me he loved me. When I couldn't decide what I wanted, he backed off, respecting my wishes. He treated me like something precious, something rare. His feelings were there in every touch and every word since our fight, and if I was being honest, before then. I was holding him back, forcing him to hold in his love until I made up my mind. The thing was, though, my mind was already made up.

I loved him. I knew it was true—without a doubt. But when I opened my mouth, the words got stuck in my throat. I was still unsure, and I knew I needed more time. So I settled for kissing him, not passionately, but lovingly. A simple kiss and a heartfelt smile, and the best words I could offer him in that moment.

"Me too."

* * *

**A/N: Why hello! I'm back! I have a few things to say...humor me.**

**First of all, a big thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys have been phenomenal...the good luck wishes for me on my finals (huzzah, they're over!), and your patience for over a month while I focused on other things and then got this update together--I couldn't ask for a better audience. Thank you for your patience, for your support, and for being generally fantastic. **

**Second, thank you for all the feedback. I know I don't generally go on and on about it, but this story has gotten more reviews than I ever would have thought, and I get excited whenever another one comes in. I truly appreciate that most of you make thoughtful, constructive comments. You give me insight into the way I write and portray things, and I appreciate the feedback.**

**Anyway, thanks for the love. I'm back in the saddle, and hope to be updating fairly regularly until we get this story all wrapped up. The thread hasn't seen much action lately, but as always, we're there with some cocktails and general mayhem (you know who you are.) http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=4670**** If you'd like, leave me a review.  
**


	26. Forward

I woke up the next morning to Edward's hand stroking my cheek gently. I smiled sleepily and looked up at him. He was already dressed, although his hair was a mess.

"What time is it?"

"Just after 6:00," he whispered. He leaned in and brushed his lips across my forehead. "I have to go home and get showered and dressed for work. Can I see you tonight?"

"That would be nice," I sighed, sitting up and stretching.

He laughed. "Are you trying to make me late?"

"What?" I asked, confused for a second, before I realized that I was still naked from the night before, and my movement had exposed my bare chest. I pulled my sheet up and felt my face get warm.

"Are you really embarrassed?" he chuckled. He leaned forward and rubbed his nose gently against mine. "It's nothing I haven't seen."

I flushed a little more and laughed with him. "So much for taking it slow," I mumbled. I meant for it to be a sort of funny aside, but he pulled his eyebrows together and frowned a little.

"Bella, I meant what I said last night, I don't want to do anything you're going to regret."

I smiled softly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. You're sweet, but you don't have to worry. Last night was... well, it was a little unexpected, but I don't regret it."

He looked searchingly at my face for a second and then gave me a slight, lopsided smile. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and I leaned back into my pillows. Edward tucked my comforter tightly around my shoulders and I sighed contentedly.

"I'll call you tonight? I'm sorry, I wish I could stay, but it takes a while to get into school and I have to be there kind of early."

"Don't worry about it. You have a job, you have responsibilities. Go!"

He kissed me, and I sighed and reached out of the comforter to wind my fingers in his hair. Our lips seemed to fit together perfectly, soft and insistent. When I pulled his bottom lip between my own he groaned a little and put his hands firmly on my shoulders.

"I really have to go."

I pulled away and collapsed on my pillows again with a sad little sigh. "I know. Have a good day at work."

He laughed a little and stood to leave. I watched him leave my bedroom, covertly watching his butt sway as he moved.

An hour later as I was getting ready for work, I kept thinking about what had happened the night before. I felt like despite all my attempts to distance myself from Edward and protect myself, everything about him pulled me in. He muddled my judgment and blew my self-set limits on physical contact and emotional investment to bits.

It wasn't his fault. I was utterly infatuated with him. More than that, I cared about him. I loved him. The pull I felt only got stronger as time went on. If this had happened to a friend of mine, I would tell her she was crazy for jumping headfirst back into a relationship with Edward. I didn't have any guarantee that he wasn't going to freak out on me again. It was highly unlikely that his issues had magically fixed themselves in the short time since our fight. And yet... I didn't care. Deep down, I felt like I had a real shot with Edward, whatever had happened between us. Maybe that made me naïve, but I wanted to pursue it. It was time to give in and let the chips fall where they may.

That afternoon, Garrett and Seth wandered up to my desk.

"Hey Bella, you doing anything tonight?" Garrett asked. "Kate and I are going to go out for drinks. Tanya and Seth are coming too. You should join us."

I smirked at Seth at the mention of Tanya, and I swear he blushed a little. "Mind if I invite Edward?"

"The more the merrier," Garrett said. I thought I heard Seth snort a little under his breath but I ignored him.

"Great! Just text me or something when you guys are getting ready to go out. We'll meet you."

James swept by, smirking at the three of us before proceeding to his cube.

"He's up to something," Seth muttered. "He's been awfully smug lately."

"I overheard him talking about a big promotion with Jeremy the other day, but I think he's bluffing. We'd have heard something by now. There would at least be gossip about a retirement or firing or something."

My stomach dropped at the thought of James being promoted over me. If he was my superior, he could easily make my life hell without breaking any rules or getting in trouble with HR. But Garrett had a point. Gossip traveled fast in newsrooms; reporters have huge mouths. It would be next to impossible to keep something like a major promotion secret.

Still, it would be just my luck that the guy who hates my guts and wants my job ends up taking a position even higher up on the food chain. Even more of a reason to avoid him.

Edward came over after work for dinner. It was kind of nice to do something as normal as making dinner together without the steady buzz of unfulfilled chemistry between us. The pull was still there, of course, but my decision to stop thinking so hard and just go with it seemed to have helped with the nervous energy. He made the salad and I put the chicken in the oven while we chatted about our days. It was downright domestic.

"Garrett knows what he's talking about," Edward reasoned as we set the table. I had just told him about what Seth and Garrett said about James and his strange behavior. "James seems like an asshole. Don't let him get to you, that's what he wants."

"I know," I said doubtfully. "But Chuck does really like him. And HR didn't punish him or anything... maybe he's already got an in with management."

He stepped behind me and started to rub my shoulders, squeezing the tense muscles on my neck. My eyes rolled back a little bit. "Relax, pretty lady. It's Friday night. You don't have to work until Monday. We can just have a quiet night tonight and you won't have to think about work at all."

I cleared my throat guiltily and I felt his hands drop.

"Actually... I sort of promised Garrett we'd go out with him and Kate. Seth and Tanya are coming, they're going out to a bar or something. I'm sorry."

His arms circled my waist and he pulled me back against his chest, dropping his head to my shoulder. I started to babble like an idiot.

"You'll like Garrett, he's great. And Tanya and Kate are a lot of fun. Seth... well, you remember Seth, right?"

"Uh, yeah." He laughed, but it was a little humorless. "Hard to forget him."

I turned in his arms and made him look at me. "You both care about me. He's a good friend. He knows how I feel about you. I don't want you acting all mopey or grumpy tonight, okay? I know if you give each other a chance you'll be friends."

He looked like he was about to argue, so I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him. When I pulled away, he had a blissful little smile on his face.

"You don't fight fair."

"Never said I did."

"Okay. We'll go out."

I raised an eyebrow and he sighed.

"And I'll play nice. Happy?"

"Very." I kissed him again and the buzzer on the oven went off. "If you're lucky later I'll show you how happy."

He snorted. "I see what you did there. Lucky."

"Shut up and go sit down."

It was bitterly cold outside, the wind burning my eyes and making the insides of my nostrils freeze as we hurried through the dark streets later that night to the bar where we were meeting everyone.

"Why didn't we take a cab?" I asked, my teeth chattering loudly. "I think my toes are going to fall off."

"First of all, I offered to call a cab, remember? You said we could tough it out. Second of all, it was your idea to wear those ridiculous shoes."

He looked down at my high heeled boots and shook his head. "Talk about hazardous. It's a miracle I haven't had to carry you yet."

"Shut up," I laughed, hitting his arm. The movement threw my weight off-balance, and much to my embarrassment I slipped a little and fell into him. He smiled smugly. "That was a fluke! I am just as capable of walking in heels as the next girl."

Luckily, we had arrived at the bar, and both of us were in enough of a hurry to get inside to the warmth that he shut up about my shoes for a minute while we pushed through the doors and showed the bouncers our IDs.

Edward caught sight of mine and laughed, yanking it out of my hands before I could shove it back into my wallet. "How old are you in this picture? You look like you're 12!"

"Shut up," I said, reaching over and trying to pull it out of his hands. He just held it higher and kept looking. The picture was taken when I was 18, and I hadn't lost the baby fat around my face. My hair was shorter then too, in a more or less unflattering cut. It wasn't a terrible picture, but also wasn't something I went around showing people for kicks.

"You're adorable," he teased, handing it back to me. I stuck my tongue out at him and he tugged on a lock of my hair. He leaned in and spoke directly into my ear. "Even with a funny hair cut."

I looked up at him, ready to respond with some snarky comeback, but I got a little caught up in the way he was looking at me. I was seconds from reaching up to kiss him again, just for being ridiculous, when we were interrupted.

"Beeeeeeeeeella!" I scanned the bar quickly for the source of the voice. Kate was here, and from the sound of things, she was drunk. "Get your cute ass over here right now!"

I laughed and pulled Edward toward the far end of the bar where Kate and Garrett stood with Tanya and Seth, the four of them crowded in a tiny knot. Tanya and Kate were sitting on barstools, giggling hysterically while the boys looked on with tolerant smiles.

"Looks like we've got some catching up to do," I said when we get near.

"You bet your ass you do," Tanya slurred. She looked over my shoulder and smiled brightly. "Well, how do you do! You must be Bella's reluctant boytoy."

Kate elbowed her and Edward laughed awkwardly. I decided to ignore the comment.

"Everyone, this is Edward. Edward, this is Kate, Tanya, and Garrett. You know Seth."

Seth nodded swiftly and looked between us, his eyes settling on Edward's hand around my waist. I leaned into him and gave Seth a pointed glance. He looked away and moved a little closer to Tanya.

"You know what we need?" Kate asked brightly. Garrett groaned. "This party needs tequila. True story, tequila makes everything better!"

I made a face. "I don't think that's a great idea. I'm not a huge tequila fan."

She turned to me and gave me a hilarious drunk puppy dog face. "Please? It's Friday night, I'm not on call, I'm off tomorrow, and we're out! Take a couple of tequila shots with me. What's the worst that could happen?"

"The last time I had tequila I started to sing karaoke, complete with interpretive dances. We weren't at a karaoke bar."

Edward laughed and squeezed my hip. "Was there stripping involved in this interpretive dance?"

I choked and Kate and Tanya busted up, waving over the bartender. He was a young guy, reasonably good looking but with a practically orange fake tan. Somebody needed to tell that kid that he lived in Chicago and it was January.

"How are you ladies doing?" He smirked at both of them and Garrett shook his head. He leaned back toward me and Edward.

"This guy is such a douchebag," he muttered loudly. The bartender was chatting with Kate and staring down her sparkly party top while he did so. "If he wasn't dishing out the booze faster than any of the other bartenders I would punch him in the nose."

"Gare," Kate sung. "Tequila shots all around. Come on, babe. Bottoms up!"

He took a step back towards her and pulled her back, letting his hands wander possessively as she handed out shots. He whispered in her ear and she cracked up, hitting him in the chest and reaching up to kiss him quickly.

"You're brilliant. Bella! Get your ass over here."

I pushed forward, Edward trailing behind me, and she set four shots in front of us.

"You have to catch up," she explained when I whined about the number. "And we're doing body shots, so get creative." She winked and slid a salt shaker and a napkin with a few lime wedges down the bar.

Edward just looked at her with his eyebrows raised. Tanya got to work immediately, yanking on Seth's arm and licking a trail from his wrist to the crook of his elbow. Kate opted for Garrett's neck. I flushed and turned to look at him.

"We don't... um, have to do this. They're pretty toasted already," I stuttered. I'd never been big on public displays of affection, and licking my sort of boyfriend in public seemed to cross that line.

He shrugged. "I'm game," he said. "Unless... you don't want to."

"Um..."

"You're way behind," Tanya said, staggering over. She and Seth had already done their shots, and she put one arm around me and one around Edward. "Don't be shy. It's not like you've never licked each other before."

I wanted to die. Edward just laughed_._

"How long have you guys been drinking, and why didn't you call us earlier?"

Tanya waved her hand like it didn't matter. "We started at Kate's place. You took forever to get here. Stop making excuses. We're waiting."

She crossed her arms then and puckered her lips, tapping her foot comically. I sighed, feeling a little bit like a 13 year old caught in an unfortunate game of spin the bottle, and turned back to the bar.

"We can just do the shots," Edward whispered in my ear. His breath was hot on my skin, and his lips brushed against the shell of my ear as he reached past me for the salt. "Although there's this spot right here," he shifted my shirt to the side and exposed a piece of my shoulder, "that I don't think get nearly enough attention."

I gasped quietly and his smirk became a little more pronounced.

"Okay," I said faintly. Every sensation was extra sharp as he dropped his mouth to my skin, planting a wet kiss and then darting his tongue out to lick a tiny circle. I picked up a lime wedge and stuck it in my mouth backwards.

It took an endless instant for his lips to descend again onto my shoulder again. He brought the shot glass to his mouth quickly, not even grimacing as he poured the liquor down his throat, and cradled my face in his hands as he leaned in to grab the lime from my lips. He left behind the slight taste of tequila.

We stared at each other for a second before he pulled the lime out of his mouth and kissed me again, slower this time.

"Wooooo Bella! Get some!" Tanya cheered. We pulled apart and I died a little more.

"I am too sober for this shit," I muttered. Edward laughed again.

"These are your friends and this was your idea. But if you're too sober... there's a way to fix that." And he grabbed one of the shots of the bar and offered it to me.

I shot two of them on my own before braving a body shot on Edward. By that time, my throat was burning a little and my head was starting to feel pleasantly light, like I was bobbing above the room. I was able to ignore Kate and Tanya's cheers and Garrett's loud laughter, and Seth's deliberate refusal to look at us at all, and focus in on the taste of the skin at the nape of Edward's neck, the salt mixing with the natural taste of his skin.

Down went another shot of tequila, and when I reached for Edward to get my last lime, I may have been a little overenthusiastic. The wedge retreated into his mouth and what else could I do but fish for it with my tongue? A tequila shot isn't complete without the lime, after all.

I only stopped kissing him when Garrett loudly cleared his throat. He grinned at us and shook his head.

"Okay, so for future reference, three shots of tequila in ten minutes gets Bella loose and happy really fast."

The night passed in a blur, Tanya and Kate keeping the bartender pouring mixed drinks and shots as fast as we drank them. After couple of drinks, Seth seemed to melt a little, and he and Edward hit it off, just like I thought they would. In fact, they got along a little too well.

"No, no, have you noticed, like when she's getting all irritated, and her right eye starts to twitch a little and her ears turn bright pink? Every time!" Seth was wheezing with laughter, and Edward was right there with him.

"Shut up!" I protested, spilling a little bit of my cranberry vodka on the bar as I reached over to try to hit Seth. I missed and ended up in Edward's lap, which only made them laugh harder.

"I've seen her wipe out on absolutely nothing," Edward said. "Ass over teakettle on like, a speck of dust. It's the funniest goddamn thing."

"I've got one!" Seth gasped. "The other day, she was walking to the copier, and there was a pencil on the floor right? She steps on it, and her shoe slides out from under her and she launches backwards!"

Edward was making squeaky little laughing sounds, and I sat up ramrod straight.

"I'm going to hang out with the girls. And you are SO not getting lucky with anything you attempt tonight," I huffed. Seth just laughed harder, especially when Edward made a sad, blinky sort of face.

I draped myself over Tanya's shoulders, who was watching Kate and Garrett flirt back and forth.

"They're making fun of me," I whined. She laughed and looked over to Edward, who was inexplicably arm wrestling with Seth now.

"They love you," she laughed, kissing my cheek sloppily. "I love you too. I love everyone."

She yawned widely.

"Katiiiiiiie." She hiccupped, then put her head in her hands. "I'm tired."

Kate pulled her face away from Garrett's for a second and gave Tanya a cursory glance.

"Sorry, Gare," she sighed, kissing him lightly and pulling out her cell phone. "Tanya's about 30 minutes from throwing up, and you know she'll never forgive me if I make her do it in a dirty bar bathroom."

She looked up at me. "You need a cab?"

I shrugged. "We walked. It's not that far."

An arm wrapped around me, and I looked up into Edward's smiling face. "Ready, beautiful?"

I nodded and we said our goodbyes, bundling on our layers and rushing out into the cold night air.

"Cold cold cold cold," I chanted, clinging to Edward's arm as we ran back toward my apartment.

"Faster, gotta get inside," he laughed. He hugged me under his arm and started to run, propping me up as I slid and stumbled on the ice.

He stood behind me and blocked the wind as I let us into the building, kissing my neck and making little mumbling noises.

"Stop," I giggled. "That tickles."

We stumbled backwards into the fire door on the stairway, Edward's face still wedged in the crook of my neck, his lips dropping light kisses up and down the length of my neck.

"Did you know how pretty you are?" he sighed, kissing right next to my ear. I shivered.

"Edward, it's cold, come upstairs."

"I'm not cold," he laughed, but allowed me to step away and jog up the stairs. He held onto my hand, though, pulling off my glove and starting to kiss my hand and up my arm, pushing my coat sleeve away the best he could.

"I'm going to bed," I announced once we had gotten into my apartment. I kicked off my boots and started stripping off my layers.

He watched me as I kicked my jeans off and pulled off my top, running in my underwear toward my room.

"Come on," I called, grabbing a pair of sweatpants off my floor. "Get in here and cuddle with me."

He followed me to my room, his eyes following me as I dove under my covers and huddled there, wrapped in sheets and blankets. We watched each other, me shivering in bed, him leaning against the frame of my door, clutching it a little for support.

"What are you staring at?" I finally asked. "I thought I told you to get your butt over here."

He cracked a smile at that and pushed off of the door, unbuttoning his jeans and letting them drop to the floor before dropping down to my bed. I held up the comforter for him and immediately clung to his side, enjoying the way he yelped when my feet hit the burning hot skin behind his knees.

He rolled me so I was snuggled into his chest, running his fingers rhythmically through my hair.

"Jasper's going to ask Alice to marry him," he said quietly, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers.

"What?" My head shot up and I gaped at him. He just smiled let go of my hair, tracing his finger down the side of my face. He let his index finger follow the line of my lips, pushing down and making a temporary indent on my bottom lip.

"How do you know?" I asked when he didn't say anything else.

"He told me. It was why I called Alice. I mean," he gave me an apologetic frown, "you were right too, but Jasper told me he was going to propose and I don't know... I couldn't miss it."

"He loves her," he said softly. His voice had taken on a smooth quality that mixed with the alcohol in my veins and made my eyelids droop. His fingers found my scalp again and started rubbing slow circles. "You can tell when you watch them it's forever. I'm ... I'm jealous of them. I want that."

"You'll get it." I tried to sound reassuring, but I couldn't stifle my yawn. I let my head fall onto his chest, the steady pounding of his heard relaxing me further. "If anyone deserves it, you do."

"Bella?"

"Hmmm."

"Never mind."

I reached up blindly and patted his cheek softly. "Don't think so hard, Edward. Let it happen. That's how we got here."

The alcohol was pulling the words from me, but it sounded totally right. I was feeling Zen and centered.

"You're beautiful, Edward."

He snorted, but I kept talking.

"No, I mean it. You're not perfect, but you try to be a good man every day. You do your best. You're loving."

His arms tensed around me and I gave a little contented squeak.

"You love your family. You love your friends. Someone like you deserves everything. Don't worry. It'll come. Life gives you...the best things when you don't expect it."

I climbed a little higher on his chest and slid my legs so they tangled with his, tucking my freezing feet closer to him. He laughed and squirmed, but didn't complain.

"From the mouths of drunks," he murmured.

"You're drunk," I mumbled, feeling sleep close in on me.

He kissed my forehead and held me tight and didn't say another word. When I woke up early the next morning with a pounding headache and disgusting dry mouth, we were in the exact same position.

* * *

**A/N: Hello! Thanks for all your reviews for the last chapter. I'm behind on review replies, but I just wanted to let you know I've read them all. I can't tell you enough how awesome you guys are... I get some really thoughtful reviews for this story, and I'm very grateful. Happy New Year! **


	27. Exhale

"Now, add up the tallies in each column and circle the highest number. That's your primary color."

Seth looked over at me from across the room and rolled his eyes. I choked back a laugh and glanced down at my paper. We had been sitting in the conference room doing personality tests and team building exercises all morning. Chuck was chatting with the consultant HR hired to do the seminar, a spunky 40-something named Jenna who smiled just a little too much.

Bright and early Monday morning we had gotten the email; our long awaited HR ordered play-nice-and-be-friends meeting would take place Wednesday. I caught some glares from Joel and Will, and Seth came by to tease me about it, but for the most part things were quiet. Garrett told me later that it was something corporate made them do once a year anyway, so at least we were getting it done in the first month.

I did the math on my score sheet, still watching the room out of the corner of my eyes. I was a little annoyed at how long this thing was taking—I was behind on my assignments and if this kept up I was going to have to stay late to finish everything up, which meant being late for my plans with Edward. I could see Chuck starting to get antsy, and every once and a while one of the guys snuck out of the room to answer their phones or write something down.

"Everyone got their totals?" Jenna asked brightly. She didn't wait for a response. "Great! Now we're going to split up into groups according to our colors. Red in that corner, then green, blue, gold, and orange." She pointed in a clockwise circle and then looked at us with that slightly manic smile. I'm sure we looked bored and slightly incredulous, but what did she expect, really? This felt like something my college RA would have done as an icebreaking activity.

I made my way to the spot on the wall where she had indicated golds should go. Seth was already waiting there.

"All right!" he cheered, putting up a hand for a high five. I laughed and slapped it. "Go team gold!"

"Suckers," Garrett taunted. "Gold is a poor man's orange."

"Okay, people," Chuck barked, his annoyance breaking through. "Quiet down and listen to Jenna. We're almost done here."

"You'll all have a color card, go ahead and read it, and then discuss if you agree or disagree with the traits listed," Jenna continued, chirping away like she couldn't tell our boss was on the verge of declaring her seminar over and done with. "Remember that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and together we build a rainbow of productivity."

"Okay," Seth muttered, flipping over the yellow piece of tag board. "According to this, we are... 'organizers who value a peaceful working atmosphere.'"

I peeked over his shoulder. "You forgot to mention that we 'value work oriented tasks and have a higher than normal degree of stability and orderliness.'"

"Is it just me, or do we sound boring?"

I laughed and flipped the card over. "I'm sure we are a vital part of the rainbow. Let's see what red means, Chuck and James are over there all by themselves."

"Well, that's not surprising," Seth muttered, pointing to a line under the red dot. "'You love and hate with a certain degree of intensity.'"

I snorted. "A problem-solver who values strength and competitiveness... yeah that sounds about right."

The room broke up into scattered conversations until Chuck cleared his throat again. He stood at the head of the table with James by his side.

"So, I'm sure you guys learned a lot about yourselves and each other," he mumbled, "and thank you, Jenna, for all your hard work today. Let's give her a round of applause."

We clapped lazily, people popping to their feet and stretching. Chuck waved his arms a little to get our attention.

"Don't go anywhere just yet, folks. I've got one more announcement to make. James, come on over here."

My stomach dropped a little bit, and I saw Will and Joel exchange a loaded glance. This was it. James hadn't been making it up at all. The look on his face confirmed it. He was bursting with pride.

"I didn't want to say anything until we had it all wrapped up and confirmed, but we've got a bit of a personnel shuffle coming up. James here, who, as you all know, is one of our top reporters, has been chosen for a special project. You may know that the Tribune Company has been consolidating its smaller papers. Two local dailies in Bureau County are being combined, and James here is going to head out to Princeton as their new editor-in-chief. He'll be stepping up their online presence, revamping their layout, and getting everything up to speed with Trib standards. His last day will be next Friday. Congratulations, James!"

I stared in disbelief as James was surrounded by men, all of them patting him on the back and congratulating him. Finally, here was an explanation that made sense. Sort of. Because while the promotion was a good deal for James, a better title and probably a better paycheck, he was going to have to leave Chicago for the boonies of Illinois, and he'd be working with fewer resources and a smaller circulation base. His attitude still didn't quite make sense.

I waited until the crowd had dispersed a little and then approached him. "Congratulations, James. It sounds like a great opportunity."

He smirked at me. "A better opportunity than a dead end reporting position in the city."

I shrugged and gave him a smile. I didn't want to argue. "Maybe. Anyway, good luck."

I turned and walked out of the room, leaving him alone with Chuck.

As the day wore on, it occurred to me: it didn't matter if I ever figured James out. He was leaving. The one person who made my life a living hell consistently would be out of my hair and out of the city soon. I could go on with my job and my life.

Alice and I met for lunch that afternoon and I told her about it.

"Bella, that's great!" she said. "Only one more week! I mean, I feel bad for the people who have to work under him at his new paper, but this means no more harassment, no worrying about him trying to take your job. And as soon as he's gone, you know those other jerks will lay off. Without their ringleader they're nothing."

"I know," I sighed. "But I'm not going to feel good about it until he's good and gone."

"When did you turn into such a worry wart?" She laughed and tossed a French fry at me. "Hey, what's going on for family night tomorrow?"

"You know, I'm not really sure," I hedged. I knew exactly what was going on, but I wasn't supposed to tell her. Jasper had enlisted Emmett and Edward to help him with his proposal. He was going to ask her to marry him at her favorite restaurant and then bring her to "family night," which would be a party with the whole family and her best friends. Esme and Carlisle were flying in today and staying with Emmett and Rosalie. Apparently Jasper had been putting everything together for weeks and had finally gotten the last details ironed out. I had to hand it to him; keeping anything this big hidden from Alice for an extended period of time was impressive.

"Emmett and Edward are being all shifty," she grumbled. "I can't pin either of them down. And Jasper says we have someplace to be earlier in the evening for dinner, but he won't tell me where. It's not like family night is a new thing."

"It's probably just a busy week," I suggested, smiling a little to myself.

"I can't believe them," she huffed. "How hard is it to figure out a casual get together? It's not rocket science."

"Edward said something about Emmett's house," I said. "I bet they were just juggling schedules. Edward has been kind of all over the place this week."

"Maybe you're right," she sighed. "I'll call Emmett."

I crumpled up my burger wrapper and stood up. "I have to go," I groaned. "Our HR meeting took the whole morning, and I have a ton to get done before I can leave tonight. I'll see you Thursday?"

She nodded and waved, digging through her purse for her phone.

Back at the newsroom, things had dissolved into the usual organized chaos. Most of the guys were knee deep in assignments or out in the city doing interviews, and all of us were behind. I spent a good hour cursing Charlotte in HR and wondering how a company that insisted on annual sensitivity training and team building exercises could still be populated by assholes like James. I hoped he would have to go through another round of stupid touchy feely seminars at his new job. Lord knows he could use the reminders.

Edward called me at six, but I wasn't close to done. "I'm so sorry," I sighed. "I probably won't be done until around 7:30."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "You sound stressed out, is everything okay?"

"Eh, it's fine. Just busy and I really wanted to see you tonight."

"Who says you can't?" he asked, and I could hear a smile in his voice. "Why don't I come and pick you up at 7:30? I'll throw together dinner at my place."

"Well, I wasn't really looking forward to cooking...and you know how I love your curry," I hinted.

"Then it's settled," he said firmly. "You do what you have to do to get finished by 7:30, and I'll make dinner and come pick you up."

"Really?"

"Yes, silly girl," he laughed. "Go work, I'll be there before you know it."

I fell into a bit of a groove with my editing after that, hardly noticing as the office emptied out around me. I was so intent on getting all my work wrapped up that I barely registered when Seth swung by to say goodbye around seven.

I was collecting something from the printer when the elevator doors dinged open. Turning with a grin, I started to greet Edward... and stopped short when James walked out of the elevator.

"Oh, it's you," I muttered, turning to grab my printouts and stalking back toward my cubicle.

"Don't get too excited," he sniped, following me. "What are you still doing here anyway?"

"Uh, my job?" I turned to look at him. He was watching me with a speculative gleam in his eyes that made me more than a little uneasy. I shrugged it off and kept going, ignoring the sound of his footsteps behind me.

"I guess I'm not surprised it's taking you so long," he said. I didn't have to look at him to know there was a smirk on his face.

"Whatever," I said. "I'm already bored with this conversation. Can't we just stay out of each other's way until you leave for your new job?"

I dropped the sheaf of papers on my desk and turned towards him crossing my arms.

"Now what fun would that be?" he laughed. "You know me better than that."

"I also know that you're awfully happy about this promotion, and you wouldn't want me to tell HR anything that would jeopardize it."

His eyes flashed and he stepped forward. I backed up on reflex.

"What are you going to say? That I said you're bad at your job? Boohoo. Grow a backbone." He got closer. Too close.

"Please back away," I said firmly, trying not to let my voice waver. "You're making me uncomfortable."

He let his eyes sweep over me once, before stepping back, leaning on the wall of my cube.

"It's a shame you're such a pain in the ass." He said it like he was making a casual observation.

"Why is that?" I muttered, despite the fact that I wanted nothing more than to end this conversation and leave the building as quickly as possible.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to make you _uncomfortable_." He smirked and his eyes traced my body, flicking from my face to my feet in an obvious perusal.

"Too late," I snapped. "I'm making a report to Charlotte tomorrow."

He laughed and stepped toward me again. "Yeah, you do that. And I'll have two guys swear I wasn't even in the building tonight. And you'll be the girl who keeps making unsubstantiated HR complaints. That's not going to look good."

He reached up and touched my hair, and I pulled away raising my hand defensively. His eyebrows quirked in amusement. "Really? You're going to hit me? Talk about a law suit waiting to happen."

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you." My eyes flew past James to Edward, standing in the doorway to my little cubicle and looking three kinds of pissed off.

James turned slowly, a smirk still on his face.

"You again?" he said.

"Yeah," Edward said, balling his fists up at his side. "Me. I'm going to need you to get the fuck out of my girlfriend's face."

"Edward," I warned. "Just leave it be. I'm fine, see? I'll get my coat and we'll walk away."

He glanced between me and James, and I waited for the telltale flicker of rage. He tensed, his shoulders rising up toward his shoulder for just a second, and then he exhaled with a noisy breath. Looking me straight in the eyes, he smiled and nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

I gathered my coat and purse, avoiding looking at James, who was still standing awkwardly in the middle of my cube like he expected me to carry on our conversation. Edward backed up a little and I followed him out into the office.

"Turn the lights off when you leave," I called over my shoulder. I didn't wait for an answer, just pushed the down button for the elevator and gripped Edward's hand tightly in mine. We didn't say a word as we rode down to the first floor, or when he led me to his car. We were halfway to Edward's apartment before either of us spoke.

"Tell me you're going to report him tomorrow," he said softly, half glancing at me as he checked his mirrors.

"I can try, but I don't know what they're going to do about it."

"Fire him?" he growled. "Don't you have some kind of a strike system at that place? What happens the next time you wind up alone with him? What if I wasn't there? He was _touching_ you."

He pulled into a parking space and sat quietly with his eyes closed for a second, breathing heavily through his nose.

I reached out for his arm and squeezed it gently. "His last day is next Friday. He's moving. Leaving. He won't even be in Chicago anymore. They promoted him, he's going to be the editor at a paper in Princeton."

He opened his eyes and looked at me, his mouth twisted and his forehead creased with anger or sadness or pain. "And what happens when he turns around and does the same thing to some girl at his new job? Except this time he's the boss, so he's got even more power?"

I looked at my hands and heard him exhale again. "You're right," I said quietly. "I'll talk to Charlotte tomorrow morning."

He leaned over and kissed my cheek before opening his door and getting out. Before I could move, he had my door open and was offering me his hand. We walked hand in hand into his building. Edward kept doing that odd breathing thing, exhaling loudly through his nose.

After a couple of minutes I cracked. "Um, Edward? What exactly are you doing?"

He looked confused. "What?"

"Do you...I don't know, have a cold or something? Why are you breathing so heavily?"

He ducked his head and I swear to God he blushed a little. "Um...it's a breathing exercise. Kind of like... a meditation?"

I laughed and followed him into his apartment, which smelled absolutely heavenly. "Meditation? That's new."

Turning toward me, he grabbed both my hands and looked me in the eye. "Remember what I said about wanting to be better for you? For us?"

I nodded wordlessly.

"What you said about being scared of me... it hit home. Bella, I never want you to be afraid of me. And I don't want you to have any more reasons to walk away. I talked to Rosalie about it and she taught me some tricks. Deep breathing, some centering exercises. I know it's not a total fix, but it's a start, right?"

His face was so hopeful, I couldn't help but smile. I stood on tiptoe and kissed him sweetly. "It's a very good start. I'll admit it... I was waiting for you to throw a punch or something."

He shivered slightly and kissed me back. "I really, _really_ wanted to." He kissed me again, dragging his tongue lightly across my bottom lip. I pressed closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Yeah, but if you had punched him," I murmured, punctuating my pauses with kisses, "we probably wouldn't be doing this right now."

"Heaven forbid." His hands slid up my back under my shirt, his fingers tracing the lines of my spine and stopping at the clasp of my bra. "What an unspeakable tragedy that would be."

I snorted and pulled away. "Unspeakable tragedy?" I laughed.

He grinned and walked me backwards down the hall. "Absolutely. You're not hungry, are you?"

"I'm hungry for something," I teased, grabbing at his belt loops and almost tipping us over. We laughed and stumbled toward his bedroom.

"Your bad balance is contagious," he whispered, his breath hitting my ear and neck in an almost erotic way. I shuddered and worked my hands under the waistband of his jeans.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not." I laughed and pushed him backwards, enjoying the way he floundered a little midair before flopping onto the bed. Before he could get his bearings, I pounced. Literally.

"Oof," he grunted, rolling on top of me before I could push him flat on his back. "You'll pay for that."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and arched up from the bed, getting my mouth as close to his ear as I could before whispering, "That's what I'm counting on."

In no time at all our clothes were strewn on the ground and we were rolling under the covers, cuddling together from the chill air of the apartment. Weak light from the hallway filtered through the sheets, but for the most part we navigated on feel alone, all sweaty limbs and incoherent sounds.

Edward was everywhere, hands ghosting over my breasts and hips, mouth sucking on the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder. I gasped at the sensation, grinding into him while I kissed and touched anything I could reach. We were locked together, skin to skin; I craved the closeness like air, not letting even a millimeter of space between our bodies.

In the darkness, I could feel his eyes on me, watching my face contort with pleasure. He pressed his forehead to mine, his lips barely touching mine, moving wordlessly. A twist of the hips, a squeeze of his hands and a low, growling moan and we were dissolving into each other, collapsing and gasping and clutching each other desperately.

"What... was that?" I breathed, not moving from where I had collapsed, half on Edward's chest, half on the mattress.

"Mmmmmf," he groaned, shaking his head slightly and grabbing at my hips. "Don't move."

"But I'm kind of hungry now," I laughed, squirming a little. He held me tighter and shook his head.

"Shhhhh."

My ear rested right over his heart, and I listened as it slowed from a rapid, pounding rhythm into something slower and more sedate. When it seemed like he had calmed down a little bit, I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Stay here, I'll be right back."

I kissed him on the chin and over his heart before slipping out of bed, not bothering to wrap anything around me. It made me feel strangely powerful, walking around his apartment in nothing but my skin. Following the smells of spices and cooking meat, I walked into the kitchen and found a covered dish of Edward's curry and another one with rice. I filled two bowls and then walked into the living room, determined to find what I was looking for. After some careful hunting, I discovered a dusty box of tea lights and a book of matches. I grabbed them and the quilt that was folded over the back of Edward's armchair and padded back into the bedroom.

Edward hadn't moved at all, except to cover his eyes with his arm. He looked like a statue: a long and lean body stretched and muscled in a way that I would think was impossible if I hadn't touched it myself. I flicked the quilt out and set up the candles in a row along the edge, striking the first match with a sizzle.

Edward peeked out from under his arm at the smell of sulfur, but still didn't move. Once I had everything set up, I went back for the bowls and picked up some napkins and silverware on my way out of the kitchen.

"Okay, lazy bones," I sang as I walked into the darkened bedroom, "time for dinner!"

But he was already sitting up, watching the candlelight flicker and cast shadows on the walls.

"A naked candlelit picnic?" he asked, laughing a little. "What will you think of next?"

"I could always get dressed," I teased, reaching for my shirt, which we had thrown over the side in our haste earlier.

"Don't you dare," he snapped playfully, sliding from the bed and grabbing at my arm. He kissed my wrist, then the inside of my elbow, then the round corner of my shoulder.

"Come on, Romeo," I laughed. "Eat something."

He picked up a fork and obeyed me, and for a few minutes we ate in silence. Luckily, Edward had had the dishes covered when he left to get me from the Trib, and it was still piping hot and ready to eat. That combined with the fact that his curry was delicious and I was suddenly starving ensured that I didn't speak until my bowl was empty.

I sighed contentedly and lay back on the quilt, smiling broadly.

I heard Edward set his bowl down, and his hand slid from my ankle to my knee. "You know, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Hyperbole, thy name is Edward Cullen."

He snorted. "Why can't you just take a compliment? I'm being serious. I have never seen anything more beautiful than you, right here, right now."

I moved my arms to cover myself, but he grabbed my hand. "Don't. You're perfect."

"Not perfect," I protested. "Just me. We talked about this."

He wrinkled his nose and leaned in to brush a kiss against my thigh. "Fine. How about...perfect for me?"

"That's better," I said grudgingly. "But it's still a lot of pressure."

"No pressure," he insisted. "Just you and me."

He kissed a path up the middle of my stomach, past my breasts and up the column of my throat, finally kissing me softly on my lips. I sighed contentedly. "You and me," I agreed.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while between updates. I've had a lot going on and for some reason this chapter was really hard for me to get out of my head and onto a word doc. Special thanks to my bestest fic friends and prereaders spanglemaker and daisy3853. They catch it when I use a word five times in a paragraph, and they make me feel better about life. Just one chapter of this story left, can you believe it? Thank you to anyone who read, reviewed, alerted, favorited, and tweeted since the last time I thanked you. :) You guys are seriously awesome. **


	28. For the Future

I didn't stop at my desk the next morning. I rode the elevator up to HR, breathing through my nose in a way that was faintly reminiscent of Edward's "breathing exercises." I snorted in the empty elevator, feelings little warm tingles of affection spread through my chest at the memory. His face had been sheepish and a little embarrassed, but his little gesture meant a lot to me. He was right when he said it wasn't a fix, but it was a token, a gesture that showed me he meant what he said. He cared about me. He wanted this to work.

Sighing a little as the elevator stopped and the doors pinged open, I trudged down a hallway that was a little too familiar for my tastes. Beige on beige, the carpeting, walls, cubicles, and pale wood doors all blended into each other. It made me feel a little bit like I had been sucked into a desert, but without the comfort of scattered cacti to break the boredom. Whoever designed this place needed to be given a hug and a color palate.

I knocked lightly on Charlotte's door, and a light "come in" answered me. She was standing near her window, holding a cup of coffee and smiling at me as I pushed through the door.

"Well, Bella! Nice to see you."

I smiled back as pleasantly as I could and nodded. "Nice to see you, too."

"Have a seat, have a seat," she said, bustling back to her desk and collapsing into her chair. "What can I do for you, dear?"

I perched gingerly on the chair across from her and folded my hands, already feeling awkward about this. Part of me, the part of me that had insisted on dealing with James on my own and not telling anyone, wanted to turn around and walk away. But I had promised Edward, and my way hadn't worked very well the first time.

"It's about James."

She nodded, still smiling. "Can you close the door, please?"

I pushed it shut with my foot and turned back to her.

"That's better. Now, would you be referring to James Allen?"

"Yep, the same James from before. " I almost snapped the words, flinching as I recognized the edginess in my voice. "Something happened last night. We were working late, and he came over to my cubicle. He made some suggestive comments and he touched me. I told him I was uncomfortable and he didn't stop. He said if I told you about it he would have two friends say he wasn't in the building, but you can prove that, can't you? Aren't there security cameras in this place?"

"There are cameras in the elevators and outside the stairwells at each floor, so we can monitor when people enter and exit the building and every floor. There wouldn't be any coverage by your desk, however."

"But you'd be able to prove he was in the building? If he tried to pretend like he wasn't there?"

"Yes," she said cautiously. "But I'd like to get back to the details, Miss Swan. You said he touched you. How exactly did he touch you?"

"He touched my hair. He said something like... 'It's too bad you're such a pain in the ass.' He was looking at me like—" I faltered, feeling a little queasy at the memory. While I didn't really believe James would follow through on anything, he was making me increasingly uncomfortable. Next Friday couldn't come soon enough. "Like he wanted to do much more than just touch my hair."

Charlotte nodded and jotted down a few notes. Before she could jump in with more questions, I kept talking.

"I don't like the way he makes me feel. I can't keep working like this. If I have to get a restraining order or something..."

"A restraining order?" Charlotte repeated, a little skeptically.

"He creeps me out," I said bluntly. "For the most part, I've been dealing with it, and I know he's leaving soon. But I have to know that this kind of behavior isn't overlooked or swept under the rug. Please tell me you're going to do something about it this time. I'd hate to have to look for a new job so soon. I really like it here, otherwise."

Charlotte sighed and shook her head a little, leaning back in her desk chair. "I'm very sorry for what you've had to deal with. And I appreciate you coming to me immediately with this newest incident. However, I need to be frank with you about the situation."

I sighed. "That doesn't sound good."

"Mr. Allen has an excellent history with Tribune Company. And while I can't discuss the details of his employee file with you, his track record is mostly clean."

My ears perked up a little at the word "mostly," but I stayed quiet.

"His transfer to Princeton has already been confirmed, and everything is in motion. There's not a lot I can do from the standpoint of the paper here. I will, of course, talk to Mr. Allen and find out what I can from him, but it sounds like no one saw the two of you last night?"

I started to shake my head, then said, "Well, my boyfriend came in at the end, he heard a little about what was going on, and I think he saw James touch me. I can get you his information if that will help."

"It might. Send me an email with his name, phone number, and information later. My point was, Miss Swan, that besides possibly putting a formal complaint in his file, there's nothing we can do here."

"Of course not," I muttered. I stood up and started pacing a little, suddenly inexplicably angry. "He's a sleaze, and you people have promoted him. I'm sure you'll still be shouting his praises when you get sued by a female employee who gets harassed under his supervision."

"Please lower your voice and sit down," Charlotte said quietly. "I understand your frustration, and I sympathize. This isn't an easy situation, but you have to understand the way these things work. I may be able to pull some strings, but it won't be here, and it won't be now."

I stopped pacing and looked up sharply. "Pull some strings?"

"Sit down," she said again. I slid into my seat. "That's better. Now, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but perhaps we can compromise."

"How?" I asked suspiciously.

"Like I said, it would be difficult to get anything done that would affect the here and now, but I have connections to corporate HR, and also at the Princeton paper. Between us, we should be able to make sure the Mr. Allen is monitored and that if anything happens, we're fully aware."

"That's it?" I asked. "He's still going to get promoted?"

"My hands are tied, Miss Swan."

I rubbed my eyes a little and looked back up at her. She smiled sympathetically. "I appreciate your help, I guess."

"I'll tell you what we'll do," Charlotte said before I could get up and leave. "I'll call down to your editor and let him know we've had another incident. Mr. Allen is only in the Chicago office for another week; I'll tell him that HR would like him reporting to someone else for the rest of his time here. He will be instructed not to speak with you or interact with you in the mean time. How does that sound?"

"That sounds pretty good, if he listens to orders," I grumbled, slightly happier with this suggestion.

"If he doesn't, you come back to me. And you stop into Chuck's office as well."

"Yes, ma'am," I said. "Thanks for your help."

"Any time."

I took the stairs back down to my floor, two at a time. I'm not sure what I expected to feel about telling HR about James this time, but it was almost like a weight had been lifted from my chest. I felt light. He was as good as gone, for me at least. Some annoyance lingered about his impending promotion and the company's complete inability to punish him, but this at least felt like a positive step. He'd be under surveillance, and he'd have to leave me alone.

Seth was standing at the coffee machine in the break room when I walked in, bouncing a little on the balls of my feet.

"You're looking cheerful," he said with a smile. "Coffee?"

"Yes, please." I grinned back at him and leaned against the counter. "How's it going?"

"Eh," he shrugged. "It's Thursday, which means tomorrow's Friday, which means it's almost the weekend."

I laughed. "Anything in particular going on this weekend?"

He blushed a little as he handed me a mug of coffee, his smile morphing into something akin to a self-satisfied smirk.

"Actually, yeah. I... uh, I have a date."

"A date! With who?" I had a feeling I knew, but it was nice to see him looking dreamy over someone else for a change.

"Tanya. You know, Kate's friend?"

"Oh, I know Tanya," I laughed again, remembering the way they watched each other the night Edward and I met the group of them and ended up drinking too much tequila. "First date?"

He blushed again and gave me a sort of a shrug. "Kind of. It's all really new, you know? But she's great, really sweet and funny. Not at all what you expect when you first meet her."

He looked down at his feet for a second and then met my eyes again. It was a little awkward, like he was waiting for me to protest or tell him he shouldn't be happy.

"I'm so excited for you two," I said sincerely. "You looked really cute together the other night. Where are you taking her?"

We spent the next few minutes chatting about his plans for dinner and a movie on Friday night, and I told him about the engagement party I was headed to after work.

"That's Edward's sister, right?" He hesitated a little at Edward's name, but he didn't grimace or scowl or make any of the faces I was used to when Edward came up in conversation. Maybe their drunken truce would hold up. I nodded. "Well, that'll be fun. He's... he's a good guy, Bells. A little messed up, but then, he'd have to be to go out with you." He mussed my hair and I rolled my eyes as we walked back toward our desks. "Seriously, I like him."

"Alright, enough of the sappy sentimentality," I groused, shoving his shoulder. "Back to work. You owe me a column by tonight."

He threw a sloppy salute and jogged over to his desk, and I continued past my own to Chuck's office. The door was slightly ajar, and I could hear voices.

"This is ridiculous, Chuck." James' unmistakable, snide voice filtered through the crack in the door. "She's just making stuff up, trying to make trouble for me just because I got a promotion."

"Why would she do that, James?" Chuck sounded sharper than usual, and a little annoyed. "You're still getting your promotion, be glad about that. All I'm asking, no telling you, is that you will stay away from Bella Swan until you leave. You two have never gotten along, so it's not like this should be hard for you. How many pieces do you have to finish off before the end of next week?"

"Four," James mumbled.

"And how much is there left to do on those four?"

There was a pause, then James said, "Background research and interviews are done, I just have to sit down and write them, and then do final edits."

"Great," Chuck breathed, sounding much more relaxed and calm. "So write them from home. Load up your things tonight, stick the files you need on a thumb drive, and get out of here. I'll give you permission to finish up out of the office. I'm sure you have plenty of things you need to do to get ready for your move, and you've never had a problem meeting your deadlines."

"My last day isn't supposed to be until next week," James hissed.

"And it will be," Chuck said easily. "Meet your deadlines, make sure I have your roughs at least five hours in advance so I can run a red pen through them and get them back to you. I'm offering you the opportunity to take some extra time to get your ducks in a row. Is there a problem with that?"

Silence.

"I didn't think so. That'll be all, James."

I tried to pull away from the door, but James was wrenching it open before I had a chance to react. He glared at me, then stalked past me without a word. I poked my head in through the now open door and cleared my throat. Chuck didn't even look up. "Come in, Bella."

I crept in, not exactly sure what there was to say. Did I pretend I hadn't heard? Did I congratulate him for finally making a personnel decision that made sense? Did I shut my trap and wait for him to give me some kind of signal? I opted for the third option.

He looked up at me, grey eyes sweeping over my face and then past me, out the door and into the mid-morning bustle of the office. Then he sighed and motioned for me to shut the door.

"Bella, I'm going to level with you."

"Okay."

"There are going to be some big changes coming up, and those changes directly effect this department." My eyes flew back to his face. He wasn't smiling. "Everyone is moving online, and all of the sections have their own experts and their own ideas. We're kind of a left over department, picking up odds and ends and organizing things. But the fact is, the design department has been doing more and more of that. In an effort to save some money and make everything more streamlined, the business department has decided to... consolidate."

"I don't understand," I said slowly. "Why are you telling me this?"

He sighed. "I'm telling you this because I think you're an incredibly talented young woman, and there are going to be new opportunities opening up for you in the very near future. I recognize that this hasn't been an easy start for you, and that the changes that are going to start hitting us soon are going to be harder on you as a new member on staff."

"What kind of changes?"

"We'll be integrating into the rest of the paper. Seth will go back to working exclusively in sports, for example. I've got an editing position waiting for me over on the city beat."

"What about me? I just got this job, and it was a new position. Is this your way of telling me I'm out of a job?" I couldn't help it, my voice went a little high and panicky. Just when everything was turning around...

"No, no, nothing like that," he rushed to reassure me. "There's a position waiting for you in web design, actually. I've been talking to the woman in charge over in the design department, showing her your work. She's very impressed with you. It'll be at least equivalent to your position with us."

"Design? I've never really—"

"You've been doing design since you started here," he interrupted before I could continue. "Most of those projects we talked about you working on had heavy design aspects. I've showed them to Dianne, she loved your ideas, thinks you have a real knack for it. I know it's not really editing, but it's a good opportunity and I hope you'll consider it."

"Is this an official offer?"

"No, it's not official, but I feel like I can tell you on no uncertain terms that there is an official offer coming. I have a few managerial meetings I have to be in and out of for the next week or so, but the business execs want to get the ball rolling soon. I expect I'll be talking to everyone in the department individually in the next couple of weeks."

I nodded, then remembered the reason I had come to Chuck's office in the first place.

"And James—"

"Will not be bothering you anymore," Chuck said smoothly. "I trust you heard most of that conversation?"

I nodded again, smiling a little this time. "Thank you."

"Have a good day, Bella."

I floated through the rest of my day, thinking about everything Chuck had told me and what I had overheard with James. Things would be different if I took the web design position, no doubt about that, but it would be the kind of job I was really looking for when I came to Chicago. It would be challenging and new. I would be away from the odd office politics that circulated in my department, and I'd be exposed to people who worked for every section of the paper. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became.

When I left that afternoon, James' desk was empty except for a blank desk calendar and his computer. I smiled all the way to the train.

Edward came to pick me up at my apartment so we could go to Emmett's together. He seemed more fidgety than normal, his fingers drumming anxiously on his steering wheel as we inched out of the city. After about fifteen minutes I couldn't take it anymore, and I reached out and covered his hand with mine.

"What is your deal?" I laughed. "Did you suck down a shot of espresso right before you came to pick me up?"

His face visibly relaxed, the creases on his forehead disappearing as his mouth twitched up into a tiny smile. "Sorry. I didn't even realize I was doing it."

I looked down at his legs, which had started bouncing since I stopped his hands. Raising an eyebrow, I cocked my head to the side. "Edward? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's..._wrong_," he said, in a hesitating, slow manner that made me instantly suspicious.

"But..." I prompted, removing my hand as we started to move through traffic again.

"But my parents are going to be at Emmett's house," he finished. "And they're going to see us together and my mom's going to start asking questions and she's not going to let up until I say something and I don't know what to tell her about us."

The words rushed out of him quickly, like he was afraid I would interrupt him or laugh or something. Which, admittedly, I did. Laugh, that is.

"That's what you're nervous about?"

"Well we haven't exactly defined what...this... is, now have we? I mean, what are we doing here, really? Is this a serious thing? Are we just seeing each other casually, but exclusively?" He sighed quietly, glancing at me briefly before he accelerated toward our onramp.

My heart started to beat a little faster, and the small car suddenly felt cramped. This conversation was a long time coming, logically, but I didn't feel prepared. I looked out the window to hide my discomfort.

"What do you think we're doing?" I asked, forcing my voice to stay casual. It was the coward's way out, and I knew it. He had been more than clear. I was waffling.

"Damn it, Bella, it's not _about_ me right now," he hissed. I sank back into my seat, caught unawares by his change in tone. It was impatience and sadness and exasperation.

"Can we talk about this later?" I asked, after a quiet and uncomfortable pause. His face tightened minutely, so I rushed to add, "We will talk about it, I promise. Soon. I just need a little more time. I can't have this conversation in a moving vehicle. In the meantime, can't you just tell your parents that we're... happy?"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, green eyes glinting gold and flecks of blue in the setting sun. "Are we?" The words were tentative and sweet. It made me smile.

"Yeah," I said sincerely. "I think we are."

I reached up and touched his hair, tousled and soft and curling slightly around his ears. I ran my fingernails lightly over his scalp and he hummed a little, smiling at me.

"I need to get a haircut," he said sheepishly.

"Eh." I shrugged and grinned at him. "I like it like this."

We didn't speak until we arrived at Emmett and Rosalie's house. Rosalie answered the door holding Avery, who was dressed in a bright yellow onesie and a pair of overalls. He was drooling all over a bib that said "Daddy's Little Slugger."

"You're here," she said happily, pulling me into a half hug. "Good, Esme's been driving me nuts. Edward, please go to the kitchen and hug your mother before she gives me another grey hair."

"_Another_ grey hair?" he said skeptically. "I don't believe it. Rosalie Cullen, are you going grey?"

"Don't push it, prodigal son," she snarled playfully. "I pull my own hair out by the roots, strand by strand. You don't think I can do the same to you?"

He shuddered comically and sprinted past her, heading through the house to the kitchen. I could hear the low murmur of voices from the family room. Rosalie turned to me with a more appraising eye, taking in the skirt I had thrown on hastily and my messy up-do.

"You look good," she said finally, nudging me with your shoulder. "Love suits you."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Esme's voice came filtering through the background noise.

"Bella! Where are you?"

"Coming," I called, beating a hasty retreat.

Esme was waiting in the kitchen, one arm wrapped around Edward's waist and a glass of wine in her free hand. She set it down as soon as I was within arm's reach and wrapped her arm around my neck, pulling me into a weird, three-man hug with her and Edward. He looked like he was holding in laughter, and for the shortest of seconds I could have sworn I felt his hand graze my butt. Then it was gone, and I was pulling away from Esme and looking at her pink cheeks and bright eyes.

Esme was a little toasted.

"Bella, I can't tell you how nice it is to see you," she said enthusiastically, squeezing my neck a little bit for emphasis. I struggled not to wince. "I was just saying to Edward how nice you looked at Thanksgiving. The two of you I mean. Did you get a chance to look at those photos more closely, dear?"

I laughed and softly detached myself from her grip, nodding. "Yes, I did. A lot of good memories in that box. Thank you so much."

"You and Edward were always so sweet together," she continued, "even when you were driving each other crazy."

Edward laughed and smiled at me, his eyes crinkling happily. "When were we not driving each other crazy?" he asked.

She waved her hand distractedly and took a sip of wine. Suddenly, her eyes welled up with tears and she looked back at me quickly. "And now my little girl is getting married," she sighed. "Where does the time go?"

Carlisle and Emmett walked into the kitchen then, both of them carrying beer. Carlisle hugged Edward and smiled at me before making his way over to Esme.

"Hey, butthead," Emmett said, giving Edward a light punch on his bicep.

"You got dinner coming soon?" Edward asked, after nodding his own hello. "Mom looks like she could use something to eat."

Esme laughed and Rosalie swept in then. "Dinner will be ready in about a half hour. By the time we're done eating, Alice and Jasper's friends should be arriving."

"And when are Alice and Jasper due?" I asked.

"Eight," she said decisively.

"He just sent a text to say they got to their reservations and are running on time," Emmett chimed in. "I think the obsessive planning is keeping him calm about the whole thing."

"Nah," Edward said. "I talked to him at school today, the guy was beaming. He's not nervous at all."

He smiled at me, and I felt a warm fluttering in my stomach. I helped Rosalie with the salad while the rest of the family congregated near the kitchen table, just chatting. It felt nice to be part of the family again, and to feel the comfort always seems to hover around close knit groups of people getting together for food and celebration.

"So, do you think Alice knows something's up by now?" Rosalie asked.

"Probably," I laughed. "You should have seen her at lunch the other day. She was so mad that Edward and Emmett weren't committing to a location for family night, and then she was all irritated at Jasper for making dinner plans when we always get together on Thursdays."

I was about to say something else when Edward laughed, and my attention was pulled from Rosalie and the cucumbers I was chopping. He was standing next to his brother, and he looked so happy. He was a different man than he had been when I met him again in October. Everything about him seemed lighter somehow, from the way he held his head up a little straighter to the way his eyebrows moved expressively as he talked and gestured to make his point. He was animated. Alive.

Rosalie gave me a knowing look, but for once she didn't say anything. At dinner, Edward slung his arm casually around my shoulders, and I periodically reached over to touch his knee. The conversation flowed easily, again reminding me of the stark contrast of that first dinner. Carlisle told us about his plans to start scaling back his hours at the hospital and Rosalie and Emmett shared the results of Avery's latest baby check-up.

"He's in the 99th percentile for height!" Emmett announced proudly.

"Because we needed another giant man stomping around this house," Rosalie added with a laugh.

"And how's your job, Bella?" Esme asked politely. Edward stiffened at my side, but I patted his knee lightly and turned to smile at her.

"Actually, things are probably going to be changing for me very soon."

"Changing?" Edward asked, more than one question in his tone.

"I talked to my editor this afternoon," I explained, "and they're doing some rearranging between the departments. They're planning on putting the people in my department into other groups throughout the paper, and he told me that the head of the design group was really interested in my work."

"Design? Like what you did for us?" Emmett asked.

"Kind of," I said. "It's a really good opportunity though, and a step toward the kind of career I want."

Everyone offered me their congratulations, and I smiled and gave them more details as they peppered me with questions. Edward leaned in to brush a kiss on my cheek. Before he pulled away he whispered in my ear, "You deserve it. I'm proud of you."

Carlisle and Edward cleared the dishes while Emmett helped Rosalie set up more chairs in the family room, and Esme and I hung a big "Congratulations" banner across the windows.

When we were done, we backed up and examined our handiwork.

"Do you think it's a little wonky?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"Hmmm." She took a few big steps back and then mimicked me. "You know? I kind of like it a little wonky. It's almost like a metaphor."

I laughed. "A metaphor for what?"

She smiled and laughed with me. "Oh, I don't know. Life? Happiness? Nothing ever comes in perfect right angles. Certainly not the things worth having like family and friendship and love."

I flushed a little and she reached out, rather suddenly, for another bone-crushingly mothering hug.

"I know something happened," she whispered. "I know that it was hard on everyone, but especially you and Edward. I don't want to know the details, because it's none of my business. But watching the two of you together tonight made me so happy. You've brought him back, and I know that sounds silly and sappy, but it's true. So thank you."

She released me and wiped a few stray tears from her eyes. "Don't mind me, honey, I'm three sheets to the wind."

We dissolved into helpless laughter.

Once people started to arrive, Edward gravitated back to my side, hand on my hip, shoulder touching mine. We chatted with people who worked with Edward and Jasper at school, and every once and a while I would see a familiar face from Alice's New Year's Eve party. I had a moment of panic when I ran into Alec in the kitchen, but luckily he seemed to have forgotten all about me running out of our date and sticking him with the check. He introduced me to his date, a woman named Jane with an equally creepy, if not as blank, stare. I breathed a sigh of relief and got the hell out of there before I could run into any more of the ghosts of blind dates past.

It was almost eight when Emmett got a text from Jasper saying they were on their way.

"They'll be here in five minutes," he announced over the music, herding everyone into the family room and under the banner.

"Are we supposed to yell out something?" one of Alice's co-workers called from the back of the group.

"All hail, Queen Alice," a woman who went to college with her suggested. Scattered giggles broke through the group.

"Good luck, Jasper, you'll need it?" Edward suggested. Esme swatted him on the back of his head and he flinched, still smiling. "What? He will."

The lights from Jasper's car hit the front windows of the house, and we quieted down again. "Do you think she'll be surprised?" I asked Edward quietly. His eyes were fixed on the hallway that connected to the front door.

"I don't think it will matter one way or another." He smiled at me then, and that same ultra-confined feeling from the car swooped in on me. This time, though, it was fuzzy and comfortable, like a tight hug. I found myself wanting to prolong it, to keep it with me. I hugged his waist, enjoying the way his face brightened at the contact.

When the doorbell rang, Rosalie sprinted to answer it. We heard her greet the two of them and tell them the rest of us were in the family room.

"Actually, Rose, we have some pretty exciting news," Alice was saying as she turned into the family room.

We never did decide on what to shout. There were scattered whoops and cries of "Congratulations!" and "You're getting married!" and one or two people even went with "All hail, Queen Alice!" Edward was right about one thing though. It didn't matter.

Alice was glowing. I never really understood what people meant when they said that before, about brides and new mothers, but looking at Alice, it was easy to see. It wasn't about the ring, which sparkled tastefully on her left hand. It wasn't about the clothes she was wearing or the way her hair was styled just so. It was all about the man that stood beaming next to her.

When she saw the crowd of people waiting for them, she burst into tears. I was ready for giddy Alice, or hyper Alice, or even outraged that she wasn't let in on the secret Alice, but instead, she was just grateful.

She hugged her parents first, then Emmett and Edward. Then she threw her arms around my neck and tugged me down. By the time she let me go, I was sure my face had turned purple from lack of oxygen. Finally she turned back to Jasper.

"Best surprise ever," she said happily, and we all cheered while Carlisle snapped photos.

The party ended fairly early, because most of the guests had to work in the morning, but before she left Alice took me aside.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being a part of this," she said sincerely. "I know things have been rocky between us lately, and we're just getting started again—"

"Alice, of course I wanted to be part of this. So did Edward. Neither one of us would miss this for the world. You're family."

"Maybe someday," she joked, giving me an exaggerated wink and bumping me with her elbow.

"No, you're family now," I said seriously. We hugged again, only stopping when Jasper pulled us apart.

"I have to get my fiancée home," he said proudly. Then he laughed. "God, that sounds good."

"Don't get too used to it, bub," Alice said with a grin. "Soon it'll be wife."

Edward and I left shortly afterward, promising Esme and Carlisle we would get together with everyone for a couple of meals over the weekend. When we got back into the city, he looked over at me.

"Your place or mine?"

I laughed. "My place makes more sense, I guess. You can drive yourself home in the morning... that is, I mean, if you want to stay."

He smirked a little at my stumbling, but didn't respond other than bobbing his head once.

As we walked up to my apartment, I tried to figure out how to start the conversation I had avoided earlier. Nothing seemed right. I didn't want to worry him by saying something like, "Edward, we need to talk." I didn't want to launch into some convoluted explanation or declaration without any warning either.

I sighed loudly as I unlocked my door.

"You look like you're trying to solve a calculus equation," he laughed, squeezing my hand. I smiled a little, and he closed the door behind us.

I led him to the couch and pulled him down to sit next to me, close enough so our thighs were pressed together comfortably.

"I'm ready to talk now," I finally said, meeting his gaze steadily.

He nodded. "Okay." His face didn't tell me anything about his expectations or his hopes, but I found that I suddenly wasn't as nervous about that as I had expected to be. I reached out for his hand and started to trace the lines in his palm, focusing on them rather than on his eyes.

"You wanted to know what we're doing here," I started slowly. "And I guess my answer to that is that I think we're doing something pretty big."

I paused as I heard him take a sharp breath, but then forged ahead in case he was thinking of interrupting me. "I know this hasn't been easy, and that we've still got some things to work through, but I think that's okay. You're not perfect, and God knows I'm not."

I smiled, remembering Esme and the wonky banner. "I want to work on our flaws together. And hey, if all else fails we can just love each other in spite of them."

That's when I finally looked up, smiling brightly and completely ready for the words I was about to say.

"Because I love you, Edward. I was too afraid to say it before, but that doesn't mean I haven't felt it. I love you."

"I love you," he said immediately, pulling me into his chest and kissing me sweetly. He started dropping kisses along the edges of my lips, making trails across my cheeks to my eyes. "I've loved you for so long."

I pulled away far enough to look into his eyes again, and I couldn't help the goofy smile that took over my face as we looked at each other. He seemed to be having the same problem.

"So, in short, Edward Cullen," I started in a ridiculous voice, "I love you." I stuck out my index finger, beginning to count out my list. "I've never felt this way about anybody else. I have a really hard time believing that I'll ever feel like this again." I kissed him again. "Does that answer your question?"

"I think that about sums it up," he laughed.

"Are you staying the night?" I asked.

He smiled and hugged me closer, kissing my forehead. "I'm not going anywhere."

*****

The first time Edward Cullen told me he loved me, he was ten and I was eight. In a little more than twelve hours I would be getting into a car with my mother and driving away from our rainy little town forever. Alice and I had spent the afternoon playing with her easy bake oven, trying to concoct the perfect going away cake. We forgot the baking soda. Emmett and Edward ate it anyway.

My dad had called over to let Esme and Carlisle know he was coming to pick me up. I was sitting on the Cullens' wide front porch, momentarily abandoned by Alice who had just remembered a keepsake that I had to take with me. Edward walked over to where I sat on the steps, a yellow tulip from Esme's garden in his hands. It still had its roots.

"I wish you didn't have to go, Belly Bird," he said softly, handing me the bedraggled flower.

"Me too." I starting tearing up, and for once it had nothing to do with that stupid nickname.

He scooted closer to me and reached out to hold my hand. "Don't cry," he whispered, offering me his sleeve. I laughed and shook my head, tears still falling.

"Bella," he said seriously. I blinked. Edward almost never called me Bella. "Don't go. I love you. I think I'll love you forever."

My dad pulled up in his police car, and Alice and Emmett ran out, flanked by their parents.

"I have to go," I said, still crying. Alice hugged me and shoved a notebook full of doodles and notes into my arms. Emmett and Carlisle hugged me, and Esme gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodbye," I said. I was talking to all of them, but for some reason, I couldn't stop looking at Edward. Right before I got in the car, he ran up to me and hugged me tightly.

"I'll love you forever," he whispered.

I believed him.

*

*

*

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N: The End. That's all she wrote. The end of the line. No, there won't be an epilogue. **

**There is one last piece to come for this story, but it will be posted separately. Daisy3853 won an outtake in the Fandom Gives Back auction. She's put in her EPOV request, and I'll be starting it shortly. I may throw in an extra outtake just because her second choice sounded entertaining. If you're interested in the EPOVs, put me on author alert. I repeat, the outtakes WILL NOT BE POSTED as a part of this story.  
**

**I can't even believe it. I started this story last May, and since then it's grown into this crazy thing... so many of you have started to read and review, you've tweeted, you've come by the forum thread on Twilighted, and from what I understand, some of you even congregate on The Gaz. I just want to take a minute to say thank you to every single one of you. To those of you who reviewed this silly story every single chapter, and those of you who left insightful and constructive comments, thank you. Heck, even if you never said a thing, just read the updates and enjoyed the story, I'm so grateful. And those of you who I've gotten to know over the last nine months, well, you know how much I love you guys. You're rock stars, every single one of you.**

**Speaking of rock stars, ginormous thanks go out to two special ladies who have been fantastic supporters of me and this story. Spanglemaker9 and Daisy3853 have held my hand, pre-read, beta'd, critiqued, and told me to get over myself throughout this whole process. Some of these chapters would have taken days, if not weeks longer if it hadn't been for them. For example, Daisy beta'd this chapter at 3:30 in the morning so I could post it today. That's crazy. These women are fantastic. Did I mention they're also amazingly talented? Go read their stories. **

**_Girl with a Red Umbrella_, the collaboration I'm writing with Spanglemaker9, is still going on. We update like clockwork every Tuesday. 1950 in Paris, with a swoonworthy artist-Edward and a cast of crazy characters? I think you'll like it. Go check it out. The link is in my profile. Other than that, I'm doing the Twilight 25 this round, and I've got plans for some much shorter stories. And after that? Well, who knows?  
**

**Anyway. Thank you. Stay classy, Fandom. (Too cheesy? Nah. Come on. You liked it.)**

**Abby**


End file.
